B.,
I had the exact same problem and the pessary did not work nor did the other device which was stronger and more difficult to insert/remove. I too would not be against another child (I have one now) but I could not stand living the way I did (wearing a pad everyday and restricted activity) so I chose the surgical correction. I am six weeks into the recovery and the hardest part is not picking up my 20 month old son! If I was to get pregnant again, I would have to have a c-section as to not undo the surgical correction I had.
I am soooo happy that I did the surgery. I saw where others were suggesting kagels and exercise for correction but that will not help if your pelvic floor is permanently damaged which it sounds like it is and if your muscles are already strong. If your muscles are not strong, there has been some success with physical therapy and exercise but it is limited to how much damage there is to your pelvic floor ligaments. My muscles were at 85% of normal and quite strong but once the pelvic floor is as damaged as mine were, the muscles are ineffective no matter how strong they are. Think of it as blowing out your knee ligaments on a very strong muscular leg. If you have any questions or wish to find out more of the surgery I had, please feel free to contact me. I can tell you of the post surgery limitations etc.
Good luck!
L.