Pediatrician Says My Daughter Is Obese??????

the question Id ask myself in this situation (since you asked "what would you do" meaning me) would be:

what's more important to risk; my daughter's short term loss of self esteem while we fix a possible long term health issue, or my daughter's long term physical, mental, emotional health and forever self esteem?

One thing I did with my DD was have her drink a glass of water before a meal. If she wanted seconds she had to finish a second glass. Sometimes she just didn't want the water, other times she would drink it and be full not even wanting those seconds. She stopped needing/asking for seconds. It got her to drink her water and also not eat so much.

I have to say that at age seven, I'd bet she already feels heavier (and self-conscious) than the other kids in her class. 7 year olds are pretty in-tune to societal norms regarding appearance. She might already have a poor self-image... Have you talked with her about how she sees herself in comparison with other girls?

I think you should go ahead and take her to a nutritionalist. Now is the time to foster a healthy relationship with food, portion size and exercise.

Is she enrolled in a physical activity? Perhaps you can also find a weekend gymnastics class or indoor swimming lesson in addition to going to a nutritionalist. After all, getting fit isn't always about diet. Exercise is a big part of it too.

Good luck with everything!

Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry that your daughter is going through this. We obviously don't know what you eat/drink in your home. So, some of the advice may not actually pertain to you. But it might, so we'll all do the best we can, I'm sure.
Cut out all drinks except water. Period. No sodas, even diet, no juice, no milk. Water all day everyday. This may take an adjustment period. And, the rest of the family may have to follow the same rules, at least when they are with her.
No fast food at all. Cut it totally out. It is not really food anyway, so it will be better for everyone.
You set her portion size. Serve her a child's portion for her meals. If she is still hungry, she can have fresh, raw fruits and vegetables.
Cut out sugar. This means breads, cakes, candy, pasta. Use brown rice instead of white. Basically, cut out the white stuff. If you mill your own flour from the wheat berry, you can make fresh bread and have her eat that, but the rest is out. (Yes, I do this for my family. It is very easy, and delicious.)
Get her outside more. This may mean cutting out electronics like the computer, video games, and tv. She needs to move her body.
You can do all of these things as a family so that she doesn't feel like she is being singled out. Help her now or it will be a major issue her entire life. These patterns in life are so hard to change once you are a little older. Blessings to you and your sweet little girl!

1. That doctor has horrible bedside manners
2. Girls ARE NOT fragile with self esteem issues. At least not anymore than boys. They get their cues from those around them. If you are reacting as if this is a huge catastrophe she will sense that from you and think being fat is horrible. Right now fat is just a word to her. Don't make it sound like a major problem and she won't think so.
3. Do you think she can stand to lose some weight? If yes.
a. don't make her go on a diet. eat healthy instead.
b. rule of thumb -- if it doesn't exist in nature, you don't need to eat it.
c. what is a snack? -- complex carb, protein, fruits, vegetables.
d. band any foods and drinks with these ingredients from the house: high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, sodium nitrate/sodium nitrite or preservatives of any kind.
e. EXERCISE. Enroll her in activities and sports that require being
active
f. how much to eat? 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. observe serving size.
I'm not saying you cannot eat junk food anymore. Just not for snacks and mealtimes. It's a treat after your balanced meal. Each meal should have something from the 4 food groups, always. I know it's a lot of work. But you're building a life time of good nutrition and habits.
Genetic does not condemn you to being fat for life. My side of the family is thin, my husband's is not. He's the only one in his family who is not overweight because he eats as I've state above and he has the discipline to exercise 5 days a week.

What is she eating? If she doesn't eat filling foods, then she will always be hungry. If she has stretched her stomach by eating too much, she will always be hungry until it shrinks to the proper size. Protein is more filling for longer. Try eating more lean chicken, fish, ground turkey instead of hamburger, and avoid red meat (which tends to be higher in fat). Also remove 'white stuff' from her diet: no white rice (use whole grain), white potatoes (sweet potatoes okay), white bread (get 100% whole wheat), sugar and white flour. Cook your own food and don't buy anything processed. Do not drink your calories! IE: NO JUICE! Eat fresh fruit instead!

I would rather her be hurt a little now (she will get over it) than spend a lifetime trying to battle weight. If she learns how to eat healthy NOW then she will be armed with the tools for her to maintain a healthy weight as an adult. It will be easier to fix now than if you bury your head in the sand and wait (or do nothing).

Being obese is no fun. So many of us Americans don't realize "a little chubby" IS OBESE!! It is all about BMI. Here's an online BMI calculator with parameters: http://www.bmi-calculator.net/

I'd take her to see the nutritionist. Just shop around and make sure you get someone who is caring and sensitive.

While I think the pediatrician could have taken a different approach, I do have to commend him/her for acting on this now. Childhood obesity is a major problem in this country and can lead to many physical and emotional problems. If he/she didn't say anything about it, your child (already predisposed to many problems due to her weight) might not have to deal with the issues now but during her junior high and teen years, when kids are really truly awful to each other. Do you want your daughter to just keep gaining and gaining every year so that when she's a freshman in high school she's embarrassed to change clothes for gym class or depressed because she can't shop at all the stores because she is plus-sized?

With a good nutritionist, this can be a very gentle and empowering process. Both you and she can learn about food as fuel for life activities. This does not have to be a negative thing. If your daughter had cancer, would you skip out on the oncologists appointment because you're afraid of the stigma associated with cancer or would you just let your daughter just see if she could figure it out on her own? I highly doubt it.

You can be angry at the pediatrician all you want that he/she was so cold and callous when talking so frankly about your daughter's obesity in front of you but the fact of the matter is ignoring it won't make it go away. Please go see a nutritionist to learn more about how you can help. Continue to do the great job you've been doing in boosting her self-esteem and teaching her to love herself. Try to do more activities that involve movement as a family, making them fun and enjoyable as opposed to work. And finally, take this seriously because childhood obesity spawns so many other issues that get more and more difficult to deal with as time goes by.

If you have the ability to help her get to a healthier weight, why are you hesitating? She may just look "chubby" to you now, but then at what point will you do something? When she's 13 and 100 pounds overweight? Why not just do something now when she is just a bit "chubby" and the weight will come right off? Then it won't be a big deal later; she will never need to go on a diet because she learned to eat correctly at 7, and learned to stop eating when she is full, etc. Also I do think you should make sure she stays really active. As much as eating is a big part of the weight equation, exercise is even more important, especially for little girls. That will be a habit that will serve her well for her whole life, and it has been proven over and over that girls who do sports have a much better self-image than those who are inactive. Just a thought!

First, this is not about you, it's about your daughter's health. To be able to help her, you'll need to drop the emotion, guilt, and surrounding issues and focus on helping her. I understand there is a lot of "stuff" around food and weight in our culture and families, but if this were any other medical condition, you would be getting her to a specialist with little hesitation, I would guess.

I would go see the nutritionist myself first, to get a feel for if this person will relate well to my daughter. This should be about health and nothing else, no judgments. This could be your chance to help her make sure she doesn't have to deal with obesity and all the related issues all her life. If she is "always hungry" maybe a change in her diet can help with that - levels of protein, etc.

If this continues to be an emotional issue for you and your daughter, or you have reason to believe she is developing "body issues", counseling might be in order to deal with those issues.

OK Are you talking about my daughter?? LOL!

No seriously. Your post is exactly what I would have posted about my daughter when she was that age. One time a kid at school called her a Tellitubby (sp?)! My daughter one day asked me why she is fat. Broke my heart! My whole family is in great shape, my husband runs marathons, I exercise all the time, we eat very healthy home cooked meals, blah blah blah. I'm 5' 8" and hubby is 6' 1". My daughter was doing competitive swimming and gymnastics, but same percentile as your daughter.

I was beating my head against the wall trying to figure it out. At the same time not wanting her to get a low self body image. She loved food but she ate all healthy meals incld. fruits, veggies, seafood, pasta....you name it! What you are stressing about was EXACLTY what I went through!

Then, I'm not kidding, at about the age of 10 she started to sprout. Her belly started to shrink and she stopped looking chubby. Sure it didn't happen over night but if you saw my daughter now you would look at me like I'm crazy and probably say "YOUR daughter was chubby?? Yeah right lady"!! LOL! She is 14. Now she is tall, thin and still very athletic and other then eating more veggies then she did when she was younger, still eats all the same stuff!

You love your daughter so much and it is very obvious! Keep doing what you are doing, having her eat right and staying active. Someday you will be sharing your story with a Mom like I just did, that is going through what you are going through and what I went through =-)

Have you kept a food log for her? Do you know exactly how much she is eating and what types of food comprise her diet? I work with data, so I kind of approach a lot of things this way. If you know how much and more importantly, how much of what types of food she is eating you will have a better perspective. If you keep a food log for a week or two it should give you an idea on what she is really taking in. Also, track how active she is on a daily basis during this time (did she sit around all day, did she ride her bike, go for a walk, play at the park). This will also give you facts to show your doctor or a nutritionist. If her diet is reasonable, maybe there is something else going on.

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Please don't fall apart about this. Your daughter will pick up on that.
I would take her to the nutritionist without hesitation.
She loves food. That's awesome. But, she can learn how to eat, and stay satisfied, in such a way that is more healthy for her. It could be something as simple as pairing certain types of foods to help boost her metabolism.
Seeing a nutritionist can be a very positive thing.
My friend's darling "chubby" son got really, really sick and it turned out he had diabetes. Talk about being on a strict diet.....
At that point there was no choice. He will take insulin, and in fact wears a pump, for the rest of his life.
No one else in the family has ever had diabetes. It came as a complete shock.
This is something you and your daughter can learn to turn around. A nutritionist will take into consideration that she is still a growing child.
She also needs to be getting plenty of exercise so that she can burn off some of the calories she takes in.
Here is a link to calculate your daughter's body mass index. It has some good information on the site too.

The main goal is to have a healthy and happy daughter. I think a nutritionist is a great idea.

Best wishes!

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/bmicalculator.html

I haven't read any of the answers thus far, but you really do need to see a nutritionist because from what you posted, you are feeding her nothing but carbs! Where are the fresh fruits and veggies? What about protein and healthy fats? A peanut butter and fluff sandwich is okay every once in awhile, but every day? No - it doesn't matter that it's on whole wheat. Fluff is nothing by sugar. Why is she always hungry? Because she's not eating a variety of foods.

I think your daughter sounds like a normal, active kid. Once she hits 10 or 11, she's going to grow by leaps and bounds and her weight should remain constant. But you can improve her diet. Definitely go by yourself to the nutritionist.

I'd also either change doctors or have words with her doctor. Tell them ahead of time that if he has issues with her weight, that you can discuss that privately. I agree with you, he isn't helping any in the esteem department.

Good luck!

Take her to a nutritionist. Research whether or not a pediatric specialist nutritionist is available in your area. Not only will they know more about the different needs of children, they will know how to handle esteem issues. I can't imagine how hard this is for you but my sister had this problem with my niece and it didn't go away - you can't gamble that she's going to lose it all after puberty like your MIL. Now my niece is a young adult who has struggled with food and relationships all of her life. This is a health problem and you should treat it like a health problem. If your child had a nut allergy, how would you handle foods with her? If she was diabetic, how would you handle sweets? Treat this matter of factly as a health problem. If your daughter says she is built like her dad than she has some understanding of the role genetics plays. So talk to her and tell her that some people are allergic to nuts and they have to learn how to read food labels and be careful of choices they make in restaurants or when eating at other people's houses. Some people have trouble with milk products, some people have trouble processing sugar. In her case, her metabolism makes it too easy for her to gain weight so she has to be very careful about her diet and you're going to take her somewhere so you can both learn what you need to handle this metabolism issue because that's the best way to keep her healthy. Tell her it's kind of cool because the whole family will benefit from getting advice and recipes on healthy diets. Tell her we're all made up of genes and she got the smart gene, and the gene for blue eyes, and the low metabolism gene. And you got the high metabolism gene and the green eye gene and the freckle gene....etc. I would not hesitate to take her - good luck...and many hugs.

By taking her to a nutritionist you could get her healthy. What you need to emphasize is health rather than superficial "skinny is better". Her pediatrician must be saying it because it is a health issue or could cause health issues and I am sure with support from you and the rest of her/your family she will be a lot happier eating healthier now than having worse issues later. Also is she active? I was pretty chunky when I was younger but I played all kinds of sports and that helped.

Ugh! Incoming rant....
First of all I think medical professionals should be extremely careful with the term "obese" because to the layperson it brings up the image of someone who is severely overweight - to the point that they don't function normally. But...medically speaking you don't have to be all that overweight to earn the title. Nevertheless, because we have that image in our head it has a profound effect on self image.
Can you go to the nutritionist without her? Don't say anything just start having healthy foods in the house and putting appropriate portion sizes on her plate. Also lead by example so she does not feel singled out.

HI--
I totally feel your pain. I am thin like you and can eat just about anything. My husband's entire family has struggles with weight. My first born seems to have my metabolism, my second seems to have his. He always said that he'd always had extra fat since he was a child, and now I understand why. I'm sure that genetics is playing a role in this.
That said, you do want to get her eating very healthy at this age for a number of reasons. Life long habits, obviously. But something you may not know is all the fat cells the body will ever produce in your lifetime are formed by age 10 or so for boys and about age 13 for girls. So if she puts more fat cells on her body at a young age, it will be more difficult to lose as she gets older.
The way we handle this is we eat super, super healthy. All organic. No preservatives, chemicals, or dyes. My oldest will eat just about anything--my youngest wants sugars and starches all the time. I think maybe it's a taste bud thing? Anyway, I keep the sweet stuff healthy--like kiwi, apples, etc. I use xylitol sometimes in place of sugar on cereal. I give him dark chocolate (70% or greater)--it has good anti-oxidants and health benefits. So my kids still get to be kids--I just make sure what they are eating is real, whole food. Also, finding a way to keep her exercising will help--whether it be walking, or dancing, or jump rope, etc.
I would also talk to other friends who have genetically larger bodies and how they deal with it. I imagine its tough for you because it isn't something you think about--like me. So hang in there, do some research. Don't put her on a "diet". If you change what she is eating, then change it for everyone. Don't make her feel singled out.
Also, if she is always hungry, this can be a sign of dehydration. She should, at the very least, be drinking half her weight in ounces of water a day, and more than that is even better. Sometimes the body thinks it is hungry when it is thirsty. Make sure she is getting enough fiber and protein to help her feel full and stay full. Also, get her a good multi-vitamin. She may be feeling hungry because her body is missing some essential nutrient.
And when all is said and done, trust your Mom-instinct! You are really doing the best you know how, so don't beat yourself up over this. It's not like your feeding her hot dogs and french fries for every meal. Some kids are just bigger. It is what it is!
**more**I'm adding---it could definitely be a food allergy/sensitivity thing going on. Someone below mentioned gluten intolerance (my youngest son has this). Dairy is another culprit. The body will often crave what it is allergic to because it gets used to the rush caused by the food (even if it isn't a good feeling). Other symptoms of allergies are constipation (not going at least once a day) or diarrhea regularly, dark and/or puffy circles under the eyes, rashes or eczema, wheezing, post nasal drip, ADHD like symtpoms, frequent ear infections, swollen tonsils with no clear illness. It definitely is something to look into!!
Good luck!
J.

1st I have to say boys suffer from self esteem about body issues as well.

But secondly - can you list the type of snacks you are feeding her? Veggies and fruits should be served with all meals and should be good snacks too. What about her portion sizes? I read something about the size of a childs portion of meat is only 2 tablespoons - so they shouldn't be eating the same size dinner plates as us adults.

Good luck with this. And maybe you can go to the nutritionist on your own first with out your daughter and find out some info that way.

As someone who had serious body image issues and a big time eating disorder (in my past), this it my take: The truth hurts. I'd rather be confronted with the pain of knowing I was a fat child and have the adults around me do what they could to help, than the pain of being confronted with the realities of being a fat adult. You want to protect her self esteem, but what of self esteem when no one wants to date her, makes fun of her, and she can't find clothes in the regular store or wear current fashions? I agree, you're in a bit of a lose lose, but i'd error on helping her long term self esteem by helping her with her weight.

on a practical note, this is what my mom did with me. She didn't allow us to eat between meal snacks unless it was fruit. Don't ask me were my body issues came from, I was never overweight. I think the whole eating disorder thing has a lot to do with a girls relationship with her father, and not so much about weather she is even overweight or not.

if its truely not the foods she's eating and she's not glued to the tv or computer and running around, perhaps it could be her thyroid

First of all it was completely inappropriate - imho - for your pediatrician to talk with you about this issue in front of your daughter! Good gosh I would be running for the hills from that insensitive dimwit. Wow.

Secondly, I would consider whether she is gluten intolerant. Sometimes when people have gluten issues they have trouble with malabsorption, which can make you feel hungry. It makes sense - your body still needs the nutrition. That being said - my son had the opposite problem - had a hard time putting on weight.

It may or may not be gluten - it could be another common allergen (or a completely different issue). I would seek out a good integrative MD and get a comprehensive food panel test done. I would also get blood work on cholesterol, as well as some sort of vitamin profile panel (especially D).

Unfortunately I don't think very highly of mainstream pediatric practice anymore. Just my humble opinion . . .

PS: I spent about 10 hours of consultation time with a wonderful nutritionist. She is who first confirmed our suspicion on the gluten issue. She also suggested the blood work needed. Good luck finding someone who can really help you.

I would do what the doctor recommend's for the benefit of her health. If her weight remains unchecked, you are risking the chance of Type II diabetes, heart disease, and problems with her joints to name just a few.
I understand your frustration and sense that you feel her genetics should play a large role in her development. It does, but only to a certain extent. There are far more environmental exposures that I think contribute to children's weight these days. You were firm in saying your child doesn't eat McDonald's but you admit that she is always hungry and has a large appetite. Are you giving her reasonable portions of healthy meals and snacks? Have you attempted to show her portion control and moderation?
You also said nothing about your child's level of activity. What type of sports or extra-cirricular activities does your child enjoy? Does she ride bikes and play with other children outside? What about joining a YMCA in your area?
I read an interesting article recently that prompted me to respond to your post. Here is the link: http://www.consumerreports.org/health/healthy-living/diet...

Good luck to you and your daughter.

First, boys and girls can be equally fragile with self esteem issues.

Second, take her to a nutritionist. She needs to learn portion control and to not just eat when she wants to, and to learn that she is not always hungry. Many kids east out of boredom/stress/for taste... not just b/c they are hungry.

Third, you feel this is a battle she will have all her life? All the reason to help her learn how to eat now.

Children are now getting adult onset diabetes... not the childhood kind anymore. You want her to not only be healthy but to be energetic, to be able to find stress relievers aside from food, to have a healthy outlook on her body. Whatever diet or nutrition advise she goes on, they whole entire family should too.

I was heavy until puberty. If she is not extremely over weight or unhealthy I would give it time.

Keep doing what you are doing, maybe make a consultation appointment with a nutritionist BUT DO NOT TAKE HER (keep a food journal and ensure she is not sneaking things at other time and take that and yourself), and find yourself a NEW PEDIATRICIAN! Sometimes kids just get "chubby" in the pre-pubescent stage before the period sets in and a growth spurt. This happened to my aunt and myself (we are BOTH extremely athletic and it sucks being made fun of by people close to you or docs). My aunt just slimmed out before high school hit with a growth spurt and the continued exercise she was always getting....I developed over-exercise tendencies and didn't eat very much AT ALL. My mom was like you in size/proportion but unlike you she was the one putting pressure on me to be thin -- not a doc. I have been dealing with those food issues all my life. Now when I am not prego (currently am), I weigh 140-150 at a muscular triathlete size 4-6. Some people just have a dense body. I would stay the course, keep her active, cut out the remaining junk if you can (fluff is NOT anything but spun sugar), eliminate other added sugars etc, and give it time. But, as I said -- I would find a new pediatrician...one who is smarter and won't give her a complex for life. Maybe even ask on Mamapedia about other recommendations for peds in your area! Good luck!

MY mother always saw my sister as "chubby." To this day, she still does. My sister, is most definitely obese and was a child. As parents, we often don't see our children as they really are...when it comes to something not so great. How tall is she and how much does she weigh?

What kind of food do you feed her? Does she eat a lot of simple carbs? By this I mean white pasta, white potatoes, white rice, white bread, processed foods? Do you often eat meals that come from (or partially come from) the box, bag, are frozen, or from a can? If so, don't feed her these. They have little nutritional value and are loaded with preservatives, sodium, and all kinds of other bad stuff. How much TV and games does she watch? Does she get any exercise?

Could you update us and tell us how much she eats during a day? What she commonly eat for each meal and snacks? I don't think we can really help too much, without this information.

I believe you do need to see a nutritionist and determine what the right amount of each food group is for her. Learn the portion sizes and stick to them. You might be amazed to see how much extra she eats even if it is of the heathy foods. Maybe you just need to find balance and instead of an extra starch maybe all she needs is more protein or fruit or vegetables to fill her up and keep her satisfied.

I don't believe the pediatrician is trying to brandish her with the scarlet letter "O". I think the pediatrician notices she is not continuing along the same growth curve and is trying to get it under control at a young age so she doesn't battle a weight issue growing up like your inlaws.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with being proactive with your daughter and explaining the importance of good health and how a healthy diet plays into that. By getting it under control now I think it will create a positive self esteem especially in the teen years when it can become so fragile.

Continue to keep her involved in all of her sports, this will help.

I wouldn't look at this as a negative. I would see it as an invaluable lesson to learn at an early age because she can reap the benefits from a long healthy life. Good luck to all of you.

I know you have many,many answers here, but I want to add to this. My younger son was chubby. He was a wonderful eater, we ate well, healthy and I always packed his lunch. He wanted to become a chef, did go to culinary school cannot currently afford Chef school but loves to be around food so he works in a deli and never ever complains about his job, like lots of us do. He however looks at pictures of himself, where I think he was adorable he hated himself. I took him to the doctor once, and he had just lost weight. A very fat nurse weighed him, then said have you thought about losing weight? He had just lost twenty pounds and I told her so! And I wanted to say something about what a bad example she was being so fat herself. Well, the upshot is, he now exercises his brains out, is way too skinny and doesn't look healthy. I always told him how beautiful he was always, always. I never said a negative thing to him. He now hates himself. Because there are monsters like that out there. Get her to believe how beautiful she is no matter what her weight. And find people who support her beautiful self no matter what her size. She could suddenly grow. And you don't want her to become one of those teenagers who hates herself because she is not like a picture in a magazine. Even those people do have eating disorders a lot of times. The most important part of life is accepting how beautiful we can be no matter what our size. Some of us are not meant to be sticks.I am very angry at that doctor.

90th for weight and 25th for height is a big flip in statistics, but remember these are just statistics! I think people put too much importance on numbers.

I freaked out for a few seconds when my oldest son when to his 4 year old check up (3 years ago). He had been 75th for height and 50th for weight nearly his whole life. He had flip-flopped to something like 80th for weight and 60th for height. And yet, you could see his ribs when he had no shirt on! He really did look like a skinny kid, so much so that I constantly encouraged him to eat! He'd been getting heavier, but not taller is all. I don't know where he put the weight, since you couldn't see it. Maybe he was adding density to his liver, and brain, and muscles, or something. Who knows! But technically, he was "overweight."

My 14 month old weighs 25 lbs. That puts him well above the 95th percentile, which I didn't even realize until I just looked it up. And he is the skinniest little thing you've ever seen. He only has a little pot-belly after he's stuffed himself at a meal. He can't keep his pants up! When people pick him up, they always exclaim that they're surprised he weighs so much. It's like he's made of bricks!

As a tall, not-narrow girl, I know how much emphasis is put on weight, and I learned to disregard it. When tv commercials come on and say how this one lady weighed a whopping 165 lbs until she did their diet, I almost laugh, because if I got down to 165, I bet my hip bones would stick out enough to hang a bucket on (that's what my grandma says she did when she was young--during the Depression). Again, weight is just a number!

I was also a chubby-ish kid, but not fat. Around your daughter's age, I probably looked a lot like you described her. And when I was about 12, I packed on weight. Part of it was over-eating, I know. But I had this unfortunate habit of pudging out right before a growth spurt. I would put on weight, look pudgy, and then suddenly I'd shoot up an inch or two without gaining any more weight. It was not fun during jr. high and high school. I wish I'd known what was happening to me. I only realized the pattern after I was fully-grown. If you watch her and see that happening, TELL HER what's going on, so she won't have this idea that she's yo-yoing.

I"m an emotional eater. It's not that bad at all, but I sometimes crave ice cream when I've had a bad day. I'm trying very hard to not do what my mom did, so my kids won't even have that little bit of extra temptation. I don't take them out for ice cream after they get shots, or if they've had a bad day.

Oh, here's something that I always thought was funny. My SIL is a tiny little thing, and she always wished she were built bigger. I couldn't believe it! But she loved soccer, and to really excel at it, you have to be built bigger than she is.

Frankly, she's so young, I would totally ignore it. Don't make a big deal about it. Listen to your mother's intuition, not your pediatrician. They don't know best every time. They have to compare your kid to other kids to do their job, but you don't. You have the time and energy to figure out what's right for your ONE kid. They only have a few minutes a year! I would only deal with issues that she brings up, to help her have a healthy body image.

And finally, I love that in Brazil, they call people who are built like me "strong." Not heavy, not wide, not big, but strong. Muscle weighs a lot more than fat does. I am, I think, quite strong. I am nowhere close to as fit as I used to be, but I still move my furniture by myself. Just the other day, I pushed two extra-wide, solid wood, glass-shelved bookcases, fully loaded with books, over a few inches because they weren't centered on the wall. If it comes to that when you're talking to your daughter, tell her that you bet she's really strong, and emphasize the advantages of that. Anyone can learn to be happy with their body type.

I agree the pedi could have chosen the words better in front of your daughter. I also respect that you are using a lot of whole grains. However, from what you have listed, there are still a lot of carbs. While they are digested more slowly than white bread or white rice, they still will turn to fat if not used up through exercise. So I think you need to give her more veggies and not just carrots which have a high sugar content. Go green. Get a book on the South Beach diet which is lower in carbs - you can get a general idea of how that works and then make kid-friendly adaptations. For example if you make your own chicken "nuggets" which white meat chicken, dipped in egg and then breaded with wheat germ and ground flax seeds, then browned in olive oil and finished in the oven, you can give her that as a meal or also a cold lunch - it's mostly protein.

Goldfish crackers, either whole wheat or "Parmesan" flavored sound healthy, but they aren't. Read the ingredients and see how much "enriched flour" (meaning white flour with a few vitamins thrown back in) is in them. Something like whole wheat triscuits with a piece of low fat cheese might be better. Maybe Laughing Cow Lite would be better. She can take a wedge of that for snack. Or spread it in celery.

I'd give her more fruit - apple with a little PB on it. If you can get her off the fluff (which isn't any better than all-sugar jelly), that would be good.

Salads - or just the veggie components - give her a ton of "crunch" with few calories - cukes, peppers, radishes (if she'll eat them) can be fun. What about some almonds for a finger food?

If she's "always hungry" there is either something metabolic/hormonal going on, or she's eating for comfort and just fun. A 13 pound weight gain without a simultaneous growth in height sounds odd. Something's off. Either see the nutritionist to learn about healthier alternatives, or get her a more detailed work up. You can switch pediatricians if you don't like this guy's style, but don't keep shopping around until you get someone who agrees with you. I think nutritionists have seen kids like your daughter before - they should be able to handle this with sensitivity and make it fun, not torture!

You could also look into a book like Jessica Seinfeld's "Deceptively Delicious" and the 2nd one that's out. They are more geared to kids who won't try new things but you might find fun ways to get healthier things into her. For example, using spaghetti squash instead of pasta makes a HUGE difference in calories. Also using tomatoes (canned, low salt) is a lot healthier than bottled sauce, which has a lot of sugar and salt added. Maybe if your daughter gets involved in the meal prep with you, there will be more time cooking and less time idly eating.

Good luck.

How about changing what you cook? I mean, rather than using ground beef, use turkey. Limit fatty cheese and offer skim milk instead. As for her lunches at school. I didn't see anything about her eating veggies or fruit. What about carrot/celery sticks, grapes, strawberries, oranges, endamame, bananas. Having a salad with dinner (with spinach/romaine/arugula- not ice berg). And not just for her, but for the whole family. If there are low fat options for something, get it. I am sure she eats healthy in your terms of the word, (and i don't mean that in a condescending way) but maybe you should buy a book about what healthy eating is. Dr. Oz has several great books. Or go to the nutritionist- could you go with out your daughter, that way you can learn what needs to change and she won't know its for her. Another great cooking resource is Eating Well. there is a magazine or you can go online. The rest of the family may not need it per say, but there is nothing wrong with changing everyone's habits for the better.
I wish you luck. I know this has to be hard to watch your little girl go through.

Hi Amy,

Not what would you do....but what did I do....My oldest is 18 now and has gone up and down in weight since she was small and finally stabilized. She is built like her Dad's side of the family (he's 6'7" and 275 pounds...) These days physical activity isn't the same as it was when I was little...you can't just go play tag in the backyard with the neighborhood kids. I don't think kids normally eat too much but with the processed foods and the addictive synthetic chemicals in them, most kids don't have a chance..even skinny little things have a "muffin top." That is nothing but toxins.

What I discovered with my kids is, not only avoid the processed foods but, give them the nutrition they need. It's almost impossible to feed kids completely nutritious food so I added an absorbable multivitamin/mineral complex. As a side note: my husband lost 110 pounds taking the same vitamin that I gave them only in the adult form. He didn't change any eating habits or activity level.

Keep telling her that her beauty goes all the way through and she is "beautifully and wonderfully made." It's a delicate balance when people put so much stock into looks.

God bless,

M.

Well first of all I would get another pediatrician. It's good that he's on top of the weight thing, but having that discussion in that way in front of her is just wrong. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing a nutritionist. It doesn't have to be about being "on a diet" but rather learning how to eat more nutritiously. I would hope that you could find a nutritionist who deals with children, and I definitely would talk to him/her in advance of taking my child there to make sure the info is presented properly, or as others said, go on your own and implement the changes for the whole family.

If she is always hungry and she is gaining weight, then it seems that she needs to eat differently. Though I don't agree with using BMI the way they do, if she gained 13 pounds in 1 year and isn't gaining height, it sounds like something is up. I'm sure it may be genetics, but that just gives her a proclivity toward a certain body type, if she is gaining too much fat it's not good and the sooner you get her eating in a way that works for her body type the better. There is no reason it needs to be a lifelong battle if you get her going on the right track now. Sure she may never be able to eat without thinking like the skinny girls do, but that doesn't mean it has to be a battle forever.

Although the food you listed isn't unhealthy, what you listed is all carbs. She may need to eat more protein. Goldfish while not a horrible food are really just simple carbs. Snacks like that lead to more snacking bc it causes a rise in blood sugar followed by a crash. A piece of cheese with a few crackers or an apple with peanut or almond butter or some hummus on veggies might be snacks that would keep her satisfied longer.

As for the people who keep commenting on how skinny you are, if these are people you see regularly, talk to them and tell them to stop it. I don't know how people can be so insensitive. Your daughter will never be able to ignore the messages that she is not skinny enough, they are just to prevalent in society, but she certainly doesn't need people in her face about it.

First thing, you have to stop blaming yourself. It seems like you are doing everything right. Putting the emphasis on her health and her mind (body issues and self-esteem) is the right thing to do. You also took all the right measures in changing the snacks to healthy ones instead of taking away food, which naturally would not have been the right course. Food = fuel. As long as your daughter is clear on that, she will eventually be OK (probably).

Secondly, I think I would change pediatricians. This one doesn't seem sensitive enough to girls' psyches to understand how damaging just one comment can be. Also, perhaps some other tests might be in order to see if other factors are at play. Off the top of my head, maybe thyroid issues? I don't know. (13 lbs in one year seems like a lot for a person at any age, especially someone who is growing, but I don't know.)

I don't know if a nutritionist is necessary, unless your daughter protests about eating the right foods and doesn't understand how those are important for your body over the unhealthy ones. I would have a talk with her and emphasize that health is the most important important thing, people come in all packages and you love her always, no matter what. This is the one thing people always need to hear, I think. People of all ages need their parents' love and acceptance. As long as this is the constant message at home, and you give her tools to work on the other issues, she will be OK.

And go easy on yourself, you're a great mother.

Hi Amy,

I have not read all of the other post so sorry if I repeat something. First off I commend you for being a concerned parent and working to find the best solution for your daughter. It never hurts to see a nutritionist and if you are going as well I think that makes it more about your family eating healthy and not focusing on her. I am sure that you are implementing the diet changes into all of your lives as well. One of the biggest things we tend to overlook in all of this is calories in/calories out. You can eat the healthiest diet out there, but if you consume too many calories it will still turn to fat. Have you done a food diary yet? I would encourage you to write down everything she eats and then total up the calories at the end of the day. She only needs around 2000 calories a day to maintain. If she is not consuming more than that amount on average for a week then you probably need to look at other health issues. Maybe she has a lower metabolic rate or she might have issues on how her body breaks down the food and what is absorbed. I hope this helps.

Amy, it 's not always about the food. Food is the cure, not the problem. Our environment is the problem. Our food source is the problem. We can feed our bodies "well" and still be fat. It is sad but true. I work with families like yours. In my private message I sent a link to a website. This website is about a product that I have had great success with FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS. It is natural, it is pure and best of all it works. It is not a diet, there is no stigma attached, it is simple the best breakfast ever! (actually that is the .com web address!)
Amy I am also sending you a link to WHY this happens, please educate your self and then align yourself with people who understand what is really going on here (sorry doctors are not usually a part of that group).
I am here if you want to talk.
PS: some of my results?
Emily age 7, doesn't need her mom to help her in the bath any more, there are no m ore folds in the skin in her back that she can't reach, all the folds are gone.
Gerrit age 12, 2 years ago was "out of control" with is eating and his behaviour. He is now in the 7th grade, in the top half of his class ANDis within his healthy weight.
John age 14 months - mom couldn't breastfeed any more at 4 months, needed something healthy not formula, started on our shakes and has never looked back. Not even a runny nose for this kid.
Shelby age 15: when her friend said "hey chubby, I mean Shelby" her mom came to me. She is now 17 and "fighting the boys off with a stick".

I could go on, but it's now up to you.

B.
Family Success Coach

Your daughter can only eat what is available. At school that is different, not sure if you pack a lunch or she eats there. At home, buy only foods and snacks that are healthy (and I am talking about food she is likely to eat). Look at the labels. The very first ingredient is an indication how much of that nutrient or item is in the package. Stay away from high fructose corn syrup (most of these kids foods have that), and the color numbers (usually added as the flavoring, etc). I believe a child needs the fat in foods for energy. It is better to limit the amount of whole milk she drinks versus giving low fat milk, etc.

If you feel this is genetic, 5,9 and chubby with her dad, grand mother, then I wouldn't worry about what the ped said, but I would begin to monitor the likelihood that she COULD become obese because of her genetic disposition.

When she is out with you and people make comments or she feels that way, help her accent the positive of her size/weight, or don't highlight her weight at all and comment on other positive things, like her personality. Ex: "You're a chubby little girl -, Yes but I have lots of friends OR yes, but I like to make people laugh, etc. - Use whatever strength she has to dismiss the negative about her weight.

I didn't read all of the other answers so it might have been asked, but does she drink alot of juice or pop? These may be contributing to the extra weight gain and just be an over sight... Those are unneed calories that make anyone gain weight if they aren't careful. I have the problem every once in a while when one of my kids doesn't eat much for a couple of days and I will ask their dad(whom is a stay at home dad) how much juice they have been having that usually is the problem. switch to water and never let her have diet drinks. High fuctose corn suryp is banded in my house for the most part, it makes it hard for your body to process sugar properly.

It sounds like you are on top of the nutrition thing and if a nurtritionist were being brought into the picture I think I would personally go first, and try to make the changes with her myself, before I would take her with me because you have every right to be afraid this could hurt her in the future. I too was heavy until about the time I graduated from High school and it still effects me today. I watch very closely what I eat and what my children eat, however it is very hard because my husband was skinny throughout youth and eats whatever he wants to this day and tries to let our 3 kids. I am always getting on to him and trying to sneak healthier choice in when he isn't looking. It stinks.... anyway sorry you have to go through this, hope this helps.

Good for you for being so willing to help your daughter. Maybe just you should go to the nutritionist and talk about what changes you can make to help your daughter. I don't see why she would have to be there with you. I'm sure the person will give you great suggestions on food and meal ideas for your daughter and the whole family. One of the things I did notice about your added info is you didn't mention fruits or vegetables. Maybe start there for snacks. Instead of fruit snacks, how about apple slices with a small amount of peanut butter? A cup or grapes, some carrot sticks with a small amount of ranch. When kids eat a lot of carbs, even whole wheat, and don't balance it out with protein and fruits and veggies, that is unhealthy eating. Go see the nutritionist without your daughter present. Good luck!

Wow thw dr should not have said that in front of your daughter he should have talked to you after the visit out of ear shot of her this would have been easier if your daughter did not hear what he said

I know you have lots of responses but I just wanted to say that my 6 year old daughter weighs 65lbs and is 49 inches tall. When she turned 5 her pediatrician said that we had to "watch" what she ate and make sure she was getting active etc. When we went back in the fall for her 6yr check up she had grown 4 inches and only gained 3lbs in a year. The doctor is not concerned about her weight as long as it stays in the same ratio. My husband and I are both over weight but active so there is some concern obviously. She skates, swims, and is going to start soccer in the spring time. I don't want her to have the body issues that I had as a child, my mom put me in a weight loss group when I was 12yrs old and well it all started that way. Kids come in all different shapes and sizes just like adults and it sounds like you are doing a great job. One way I realized that was easy to get my daughter moving this summer was she walked the dog for me when we went out walking. She loved it and so did the dog.

You're right not to want this to be a big deal to her. Can you talk to a nutritionist without her there? You sound like you're doing it right: keep her active, limit the junk but get her off the idea that anything is wrong or she is fat. Just one suggestion -- does she eat a lot of carbs? You mentioned waffles, pasta, etc -- I ask cause I put on tons of weight with carbs and it just keeps me feeling hungry. If she is bored or watching a lot of TV at home, she is likely to snack too.

My daughter is a bit chubby and quite short - genetically she is going to be stocky -- so I have the same concerns! Good luck.

In my opinion you are doing EVERYTHING right. I think a little girl's body image is so fragile and you are doing what you need to to keep her healthy and protect her. I think it is a good idea to go to the nutritionist by yourself just in case there is something else you might be missing. She is active and eating healthy and everyone is built differently. I'll bet she probably has her grandma's genes and will even out her percentages in a few years. I think you might want to look into a new doctor, as well. I think something as sensitive as a little girl's weight does not need to be discussed in front of her unless her parent thinks it is a good idea.

Well, I was under weight as a child to the point that the school got cps involved thinking I was being starved. I was forced to drink protein shakes at school for a month at the nurses office & I didn't gain not one ounce. I was nothing but skin & bones & I could not gain weight until I took birth control pills when I turned 18. I was 5'7" 92 pounds, size 0. 1 year later, I was a size 8 and currently I'm a size 14. My sister was chubby all through school & in 5th grade was wearing adult size 10 & 12! She was obese & then after she gave birth, she started losing weight and now she is about a size 5 and appears skinny to me. So, while I would consult a nutritionist to insure that what I was serving was the healthiest it could be, I wouldn't worry overly much. Also both my sister and I was raised with the knowledge that as long as we were being as healthy as we can, it doesn't matter what we look like on the outside, but on the inside and we both have a fairly ok body image. I got teased for being skinny & she got teased for being fat, neither of us would know what "normal" is as we've never been that, but we are both happy.

How you feel about yourself & what you model i think will have more of an impact than anything else. I'm pretty open & honest with my kids, so him saying anything in front of her doesn't bother me so much as his assumption that she's eating junk food. That would really make me mad. Mad enough i would look for a different Dr. After all you pay him for his knowledge, not his judgements. What an @ss!

Sorry you had to deal with him, but I bet you can handle being educated on having a healthy lifestyle for you and your daughter and that you both will be just fine. Hope this helps you.

Just as s a side bar boys have body issues too. My son has s belly and talks about his "gut" or that a kid will make a remark that he is fat, which he isn't. You are doing everything resonable with your daughter. I will say whole wheat is not by any means, is fat free. Whole grain breads would be better, but they might be dryer, not usually for a kid palate. Genetics also has a part to play. My hubs was a chubby kid and frankly so was I. We shook out in our teens. My son is also very active and helps me with the cooking so we know what goes in our food. You are 100% right to be concerned about her self esteem. That's what she has you and the family for, to support her and to tell her and show her how beautiful she is , inside and out.

aw i'm so sorry you have to go through this -- i totally understand your concern about your daugther's self esteem. tell your doctor not to be so blunt in front of your daughter and just keep up talking to your daughter about how it's important to be healthy, not skinny. def see the nutritionist..there could be something you're overlooking or not aware of.. be sure to cut out all juices and sodas which are completely empty calories (juice is really not healthy at all; stick to the actual fruit) and continue giving her whole grains, lean meats, low fat diary, etc. other than that, keep up with her activities. best of luck to you both,

Your daughter sounds like the daughters of two of my friends, who were just solidly built girls who gained weight earlier than their peers. They are both in 7th grade now and are in great shape, so don't despair.

In the meantime, I agree with the recommendations for a new pediatrician and for you to maintain a food log and meet with the nutritionist. I noticed that what you describe for her lunch and snacks is quite carb-heavy. Bread, crackers, granola bars, etc. are somewhat healthy but she may be one of those people for whom a lot of carbs = weight gain. There are a million calorie counters on the internet (I like SparkPeople) - jot down what she eats in a day, paying attention to portion size, and enter it all into a calorie counter. You may be surprised at how many calories she's eating and whether or not she's getting an appropriate mix of fat, carbs and protein. If things look out of balance, try subbing fresh fruit and vegetables, dairy snacks such as yogurt or cheese sticks and other non-grain foods for snacks and sides. Pay attention to how many calories she drinks - her main drink should be water. As for portion size, take another look at that. I have a friend who was totally delusional about portion size. If we ate over her house, I would literally take half or two-thirds of whatever she dished onto my kids' plates off the plate before giving it to them. A serving of meat for a child should be 2-3 ounces. A serving of bread is actually 1 slice. Things like rice, pasta and other starchy sides is 1/3 to 1/2 cup. If your portion sizes are bigger that that because she is hungry, I would offer something filling before a meal (a tray of sliced veggies or a bowl of soup) and then scale back portion sizes and see how that works. Then if she's still hungry you can offer small seconds. This also slows down the meal and gives her brain a chance to catch up with her belly. My boys will wolf down dinner, ask for seconds, leave the table and come back 10 minutes later telling me that they're hungry. I made a rule that they have to wait 20-30 minutes before asking for a snack after a meal. When people eat large portions, they need to continue to eat that way to feel full. When they scale back portions, they may feel hungry at first but their bodies adjust and they feel full on smaller portions.

Finally re activity - there was a study done recently that showed that 50% of the time that kids spend in group athletics and activities such as dance or gymnastics is spent standing around. She may need just a little more daily activity. Something simple like walking to school (or, if you live to far but could drive and park 1/2 mile from school and walk the rest of the way) on a regular basis can make a difference.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things, you just might have to tweak a few things here and there to slow down the weight gain and prevent this from becoming a chronic issue. Good luck!

I have the same problem with my 7 year old. I did the same thing with the snacks and eating healty and portraying it as a healty lifestyle change. She does have low self esteem now becuase people have been making fun of her at school. In my opinion you should go see a nutritionist..I saw one when I was pregnant becuase I had gestational diabetes. They are great and can give you some better insight and ideas on meals for her. I think she will probably grow out of it like my little girl :) good luck. hopes this helps

Because this nation has such an issue with junk food, weight, and the corresponding health issues , I have seen doctors and other professionals rush to label both kids and adults as "over-weight" or "obese" and make a big deal over just a few pounds. The most recent charts make it hard for anyone to not be too heavy and they don't seem to take into account different body types (not everyone is going to fall perfectly within the "skinny" frame they have created). I do realize these are real issue and they have reached epidemic proportions; however, a little bit of "chubby" is not a reason to over-react. All kids grow at different rates...some stay sort of average all along while others are real big and level off, while still others are small and get much bigger....all considered normal. Kids are supposed to eat well. The important thing is to get exercise/stay active.

You didn't say how tall she is or what your daughter weighs so I don't know if she is just a little over the ideal weight or a lot. I know my son was 7 lb 15 1/2 oz when born and gained just shy of 1 lb per week until he hit 19 lbs at just 3 months. Then he leveld off and was 20 lbs at 6 lbs and 22 lbs from 8 month until over a year. He was definately a chubby or fat baby but he was healthy. He was always in the 90 % or higher. My dr never said a word except "excellent growth". The nurse at the Medicaid office indicated he was "obese" according to the charts but she applied common sense because she could see he was not really obese but was a big boy w/ a big father. He has since slimmed down and is a health 19 year old. Same situation today would have had the doctors having a fit. A friend has a daughte a month younger who was so small they did all sorts of tests to be sure she was ok. She was tiny and petite throughout childhood. She is also 19 and is still short but is heavy but also healthy.

Keep having her eat healthy. If she is hungry, let her eat but make sure she doesn't fill up on junk food. Be sure she stays active. Talk to the doctor and explain that you would appreciate it if he/she would refrain from negatively impacting your daughter's body image especially when she is so young. If her size is just a little big, just keep an eye on her weight.

First your pediatrician was out of line with the way he handled the conversation. I would either change doctors or tell him bluntly it was uncalled for.
Secondly. I obviously can not see your daughter so I can not comment one way or the other as to whether it looks like there is any truth to the doctors' diagnosis or not.
I do have a few things that I would like to say as things to think about.
Does your doctor weight your daughter fully clothed, including shoes? Our ped does and I always find it insanely strange. When they are babies we have to strip them naked, including diaper and they put them on a disposable water proof pad to weight them. When they are a couple years old they start weighing them on the stand on scale. They have to leave shoes on for health reasons. As the kids' clothes gets bigger they weight more each year. I am sure she's dressed for cold weather so heavy clothes. Do they account for this at all? My son can weight up to 5 lbs or better more from the time he wakes up in the morning in PJs before breakfast to fully clothed, including shoes (jeans, sweater) and after having eaten lunch. So can I for that matter. Could this be a factor? How much does she weight at home in the morning vs how much she weighted at the doctors office? Was her clothing different from her last apt in terms of thickness/weight?
Muscle does weight more than fat. She's involved in a lot of sports I see. She could have a bit more muscle mass because of that. Did the doctor consider just a number on the paper or look at her overall?
Is she due for a growth spurt? My son always packs on pounds just before he shoots up. Catch him at the packing on pounds before he shoots up you get an unbalanced chart of weight to height.
Is she mistaking thirst for hunger? Is she drinking enough water during the day? Especially being involved in sports. Not juice or sodas or even energy drinks but plain ol water. It is not uncommon for people to overeat when all they are is dehydrated.
It could not hurt to see the nutritionist at least once perhaps and see what that person has to say.
Best of luck!

Lots of responses here. Personally, I would find another doctor. One who doesn't tell a 7yo that she needs to loose weight. I've had my 4yo talk about her belly, so I understand that it's heartbreaking to hear that from your child. Honestly, I haven't read all of the responses (you got so many lol), but I would also check into other possible causes, thyroid, gluten, metabolism, etc. A nutritionist certainly can't hurt. I will add that I was super heavy until puberty, then it all seemed to level off. Try not to stress too much over it:)

Okay, I have not read all 50-something responses, but my gut reaction is to find a new pediatrician (or at least have a conversation with the current one if you are happy with the practice). My concern is that both of these conversations about her stats when compared to the current charts which made her overweight and now obese were held in front of her. The doctor also used that horrible 4-letter word "diet". Words like "fat", overweight" "obese" and "diet" all have negative connotations and unfortunately, these words and all the negative impacts associated with them are splashed across our daily lives so our kids really do already know what they mean and can be hurt by them emotionally and mentally. Shame on the doctor for not talking directly to you, in a descrete manner!!

That said, I think a trip to a nutrionist might help you, her and all the family and I think it would not hurt to bring your daughter along to a few sessions as long as you frame it correctly. As you implement changes, it should be made clear that the goal is not weight gain or loss, but rather an overall improvement in the ENTIRE family's health. IMO, we could all use some guidance in what and how we eat.

Keep your presentation in mind always --- If the nutritionist wants you to keep a food journal, ask her to help. If s/he wants you to try to increase the number of fruits/veggies eaten per day, make a game of it - use a barometer style method and have felt or magnet fruits/veggies that can be attached so that your daughter can see the changes each day. Start giving her the choice (like for dessert) of what she can have - one scoop of ice cream or the equivalent fruit or something like that. Make the changes being suggested and implemented part of a daily LIFESTYLE not a diet!!

Also, while she seems active from your posts, be sure that there is family active time - group walks, bike rides, even playing out in all this snow together - as again this is modeling a lifestyle. Also, a little extra exercise each week never really hurt anyone. You might also want to create a barometer to measure what she is getting and what is recommended for her age too. Sometimes I think we think we are getting more exercise in than we really are and when you start to track it, you see the truth.

I would focus on feeling healthy - both physically and mentally. Find good role models and help her understand everyone is different (otherwise, we would never have those charts to begin with!) and that as important as the numbers are, her quality of life is just as important.

Good luck.
~C.

PS. I have a guy in my office who is like 100 pounds, bikes several hours to and from NJ and NY up to 4 times per week, eats like a pigeon (literally plain steel cut oatmeal every morning and one PBJ sandwhich on homemade bread with a fairly reasonable dinner each night), is constantly watching his salt intake and is still on blood pressure medication. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do to help a situation.

I'm just seeing this now, and honestly I didn't read all the responses so I apologize if this is being repeated.

See the nutritionist. While the food you listed are mostly healthy, they are very high in carbs and probably don't help the weight issues. Let someone teach you what are healthy and filling foods.

When talking to her about foods, talk about them being healthy and unhealthy. Don't talk pay as much attention to the weight issue and focus more on being healthy.

Make it a lifestyle change and not just about her. If you say she can't have soda (empty calories, bad for teeth), make it a rule for everyone in the house.

Good luck!

I agree with you to a point. If you are going to a nutritionist ask them for ideas. They may say cut out some of the complex carbohydrates and add some foods with less that are just as healthy but less complex for her. I am NOT saying go no carb, just maybe less. I tend to gain weight like crazy if I don't limit my carbohydrates to a lesser amount. I cannot eat tons of them and not get bigger.

Muscles weigh more than fat, and that may be what is going on to some extent. My grand daughter is very muscular in her legs/hiney from BMX, Soccer, Dance, Tumbling, Gymnastics and weighs in at 50/50 height and weight. All of her size 6/6X pants are too tight but the tops fit very loose and comfortable. Size 7 jeans are just huge around the waist so it's a predicament for sure.

Only you know what is what when it comes to her diet. I would not worry as much as you do, I would let her eat school lunches and eat more healthy at home but you are the momma and it sounds like you know what you are doing and have it in good control. Let her be a kid, goodness knows you are right about self esteem and building it in girls.

I have not read all the answers you got but I want to let you know that I am in the same situation! I have a 9 yr old that at her last check up we were told that we should go to a nutritionist... BUT the difference is when our dr was talking to me about it she was talking to ME!
My hubby is very physically active and encourages the kids to be also... Genetically there is the possibility of all our kids being VERY large... I have always been sensetive about people using the "fat, chunky, pork belly, chubby, etc" terms on kids once they get past about 1 1/2... Even if teasing. (which hubbys family does... Even though the person talking like that is a guy and looks about 12 months pregnant...)
We have always put the emphesis on eating healthy, not dieting. I have explained to my kids that all a diet is is what you eat... Every single person in this world is on a diet... some are on a healthy diet and some are on a diet of fast food...
I would go see a nutritionist... BUT make sure that they deal with KIDS! Use it not just as an opportunity for your child, but take the whole family! I did not and do not use thoughts like "you need to learn this" I say things like "WE will learn stuff from it."... The thing that irks me is that my girl (9) is having this issue (according to the drs) BUT my 2 middle sons are rail thin... So my hubby will let my sons eat as much as they want, but will insist that the 9 yr old stick to a reasonable portion... No, she's not "fat" but shes also not rail thin... Our pediatrition said to stress healthy eating to help manage any more gain until the height catches up with the weight... (she popped up about 8 inches in the last year)
And if I check what my BMI says... I'm morbidly obese and wear a size 12/14 jeans...
She's 7... at 15 I weighed 150 pounds... But at 18 was about 8 inches taller and wearing a size 4! Height caught up finally... lol

Continue to stress healthy eating and activity... Let her be a kid. But remember... the comments she hears and has heard in her life is what makes her picture of self esteem up... Comments like "i'm built like my dad" did not originate in a childs head... she HEARD it from somewhere...

This question definitely got my attention as like you, I'm very thin and can eat whatever I want. My whole family is this way and we've always felt lucky. My daughters don't seem to have inherited this build or metabolism though and I am focused on them not becoming overweight now so they don't have a struggle the rest of their lives. I've let my girls have treats etc but do limit things and make sure they eat protien and vegetables at dinner but if they don't want their noodles or rice, I don't make them eat it. They're just carbs. But this post has made me think about getting a nuitritionist. I really would if I were you. I know how confused you are and uncertain what to do so let a professional help. Also, has your daughter always been below 50% for height? I started to worry about my youngest but she was tracking too low for height (we're all very tall) and sure enough, she had a growth spurt that put her height/weight in better proportion. So maybe your daughter is due for a spurt. Also, I kind of hate to say this but my little over 6 year old is about 50 inches and 57.5lbs and while she's not fat, she has a belly and is heavy boned. She certainly isn't one of the stick like girls I see so often. So by comparison, your daughter's measurements really do seem to indicate she's quite overweight. I never expected to have to worry about my daughters' weights either so I understand how you feel. But nothing you can do about it except address it in a smart way. For me it's all about not ignoring it now and having it be a lifelong struggle and issue for them. Guy friends will tell me I'm crazy and then I ask them "did you want to date the overweight girl? How many comments did you make about fat girls?" It sucks and I don't want to turn my girls anorexic either but hopefully the choices aren't fat or anorexic... Good luck. I'll be curious how things go for you.

It sounds like it was handled very inappropriately by your pediatrician, but there still could be a weight/health problem. The USDA site mypyramid.gov site is a great resource for portion size, suggested foods and a great overview of nutritional requirements for all ages. It's focus is health, not appearance. It does look from what you posted, that you are not specifically feeding unhealthy foods but that you are offering a lot of whole grains/bread/crackers but not that much in the way of fruits and veggies. I think to avoid making this about her, everyone will have to change/improve how they eat and exercise. Perhaps present it as a family plan for better health.

How physically active is she? Get her involved in sports or dance or something that will get her moving if she is not already. Are you, as a mother, concerned about her weight? Does she just have large bones and more muscle, or does she really need to cut down on what she is eating?
Cut back on TV and game time- go for walks together or start taking her to the park to play. It is more important for her to be in shape than it is for her to weigh a certain weight. My sister ran 2 marathons and still had about 20 lbs she wanted to lose- I was at a great weight, but couldn't run a mile- I would much rather be able to run the marathon!
Just talk to her about the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, which would include a healthy diet and exercise of some form- it also includes good dental hygiene and keeping your brain exercised with reading and learning. She might just be bored instead of constantly hungry also- one of my sons is always asking me for more to eat- even when he had just finished his dinner. I make him go play or find something else for him to do- if he is really hungry, he will come back and tell me within 10 mins- if he was just bored- he will play for an hour!
Good luck!

*edited to add*
I just read your update- it sounds as if your little girl is a healthy little girl- you are doing a great job! They do the BMI(body mass index) at my kids school and I really hate that thing. It tells you that if you are a certain height you have to be a certain weight and doesn't ever account for genetics and different body types. My kids are really solid- lots of muscle- very active. None of them have a belly(except when they are about to grow- which is what your daughter is probably getting ready to do)- both their dad and I are like that. For my height I am supposed to weigh 20lbs less than I normally do- I would look anorexic if I dropped 20lbs from my normal weight. So, don't worry about your daughter if she is healthy and happy- find another doc that doesn't push numbers on a scale to a 7 year old!
~C.

You should try the Hi5 shakes, only 56 calories and come in vanilla and chocolate. All natural ingredients and full of vitamins, minerals and protein which will help in curbing her cravings. Our daughter loves them!

Message me if you want some more info!

If you daughter is in the 99% for weight she is in the normal range. If she is above the 100% for weight YOU need to DO something. She does not need to meet with a nutritionist or learn about portion control. She is a young child. You need to make sure she has plenty of exercise, eats fast food no more than once every other month, no more than 6 oz of juice a day, NO soda, lots of water and healthy food. Again if she is below the 100% she is fine. Talk to your school nurse if you are unsure, hope fully she can be your ally and give you good advise!
As long as she is in the normal range(which she IS) than she is normal not obese!

my son who is now 9 has always been on the heavier side and believe it or not, we are not a family who do not drink soda, juices and much junk food at all. (the doctor(s) however didn't believe me when I tell this .... in fact , compared to my son's classmates, my son eats more healthily .. but you wouldn't know this in that some of his classmates are much smaller...
Now, because we do eat a healthy diet with MANY fruits/veggies and the works, our dilema was portions.... my son has ALWAYS liked a good portion... I tell him, he can enjoy whatever he likes but we have to do it in a sensible manner. Like your daughter, my son at times has referred to himself as fat. Oh I didn't like to hear that and when he'd ask me, I didn't want to lie and did say, we are all built differently.. and that it's about being healthy.. I told him people can be smaller too and LESS healthy..
anyway.. the other thing besides portions is exercise. we walk EVERYWHERE...... when he is with me, it's not unusual for us to average 5 miles a day... if not more on a weekend... one day we did 11 miles..
my son has not gained weight with about 5 mos and I attribute this to all the walking we do. I keep track with my pedometer (you may want to get one)
additionally, I make this a family event.... in that we all get out and move it.
I believe nowadays with kids sitting so much (even in school) many have done away with P.E... kids simply aren't moving enough compared to how much they are sitting in a classroom..
Also consider the types of foods that you are giving to your child... when my son eats a bunch of carbs (e.g. pasta) you can bet he is hungry in about an hour.. therefore, when we eat.. I add LOTS of fiber and protein. it's not uncommon for us to have a meal and also have me add apples and or a few other veggies...all these stave off consuming too much.. Lastly, when my son is hungry .. esp right before a meal.. I will cut up some carrots , apples or whatever else we have and give that to him. this way, come dinner he isn't so famished..
I think it's important to find healthy but subtle ways to allow your child to eat. Like you , I don't want my son to have a complex or see food as the enemy. I always tell him, he can whatever he wants, but make sensible choices and most of the time, with that kind of freedom... he makes good choices... also, as a parent you have to make them too... remember, you are mirroring back behavior to them....choose wisely..

Wow, judging by the fact that you have 44 responses so far, you can tell this is a sensitive issue. I didn't read them all, so forgive me if I'm being repetitive. I agree that the doctor should not address this issue in front of the child. If there is a real concern then it should be addressed privately. Our pediatrician always asks our kids what kind of foods they eat and even though they fall in the "normal" range for weight (one is borderline), they still discuss healthy eating options. My older daughter is built like my husband and has a tummy. My younger daughter is built like me and is small and petite. My older daughter of course eats healthier and less than my younger daughter (that's just the way it goes!!). You can't fight genetics sometimes. My husband is a marathon runner and has a belly. Even when he was 120 pounds in college he had a belly. His father has a belly too and even when had throat cancer and wasn't able to swallow anything but liquids. . .the belly never went away entirely! So when I see people trying to make their kids diet and get skinny, but see that they are built just like the parents, it makes me crazy. Eat healthy options and small portions, minimize snacks and you will be fine. Stop worrying about the weight.

I have to add as an aside that I have a friend who worries obsessively about her 10 year old's weight. She too has been labeled obese by the doctor (in front of the child). The mom is tiny like you. . .barely 100 pounds. The dad is a big guy. But he's a roofer and probably burns 5000 calories a day. He'll eat 2 foot long sub sandwiches loaded with everything imaginable in one sitting. The daughter will eat one of those same subs. My kids can barely eat all of the kids meal that comes with like a 4 inch sub. I listen to my friend obsess about her daughter's weight and how big she thinks she is and think. . .."don't buy her a foot long sub! She's only 10!" But she doesn't see that as unusual (she's always been able to eat whatever she wants because of good metabolism) so maybe a nutritionist would provide her with guidance on what size portions a 10 year old should actually be consuming.

Hi there! I didn't read all of the other answers, but have you thought about getting a second opinion from another dr.? All Dr's are different and look at a situation differently. If what your mother-in-law says is true, than in a few years she will have hit a growth spurt and grown in (or out) of the size that she's at. I think you are completely right in thinking that she should be a child and worrying about playing and kids stuff vs. her body image. I came from a family full of girls and the one thing my mother did for us was to make sure that we were happy with our bodies. Living a healthy, active life style will mean so much more to her in the long run, than what size dress she wears. Indecently I wear a size 14, but I run half marathons too!

Ma'am, I have a little sister that is larger.
Do not worry! My sister was cubby at around age 6, and when she was finally big enough to play on the trampoline with my brother and I, she began to loose some. Shes 12 now, and still chunky, but I believe thats because she isnt fed right anymore, her fatheer (my stepdad) allows her to eat whatever and whenever and she has started to get bigger again, and I am working on trying to get her to eat healthy and exercise.
Your doing everything right!
also, check into thyroid problems. I have a hyperactive one, I'm 16, 5'6" and 99-105 pounds depending on the season all because of my thyroid. My mother had a slow one due to radiation she recieved and she was bigger.
Hope I helped :)

How tall is she and what does she weigh? What's her BMI?
The pediatrician might have been a bit kinder, but how is he suppose to tell you she has a problem so you (and she) will take it seriously?
She already has body image issues just comparing herself to you.
I don't see how consulting a nutritionist could hurt.
If she's already not eating junk food and her portion size is good, then her activity level needs to be higher. Dancing, taekwondo, soccer, gymnastics or some other activity could be a big help.
Does she watch a lot of tv and/or play a lot of computer games? Reading a lot is a good thing, but it is sedentary. If her habits and diet are all in line, then just keep track of her growth. More than likely she'll have a growth spurt or two and she'll stretch out and grow into her weight.