Paying at Birthday Party

I bet they just took it without thinking. I imagine their mind was on a lot of other things and when she held out the money they just took it. They might have even thought it was a present for the kiddo.

I'd never dream of asking someone else pay for my kids' birthday party. If I am hosting a party, I'm paying for it.

I'm of the camp that believes your daughter probably said "My mom said to give you this" and then just handed them the money. The party hosts probably didn't know what it was for, maybe they thought it was the gift.

Kids aren't very good at communicating, and distracted party hosts aren't good at sorting things out when they are trying to host a party!

Is it possible your daughter handed the host the money and said something like, 'My mom said to give this to you.' and the hostess not wanting to be rude took it?

I would give the benefit of the doubt about the handing over of the money went.

If it was me as a child, I would have said, "my mom said to give you this."

as a child, I would have seen the transactions of money tickets etc and been worried I misunderstood my moms instructions so to be on the safe side just told them the money was for them.

Also if you have ever had to get a group of children into a venue, prepaid, unexpected, other parents asking questions.. it is exactly like herding cats.. You just do your best and worry about things later.

I would never invite someone and expect them to pay. They may not have been expecting it, but I guess they figured if you were willing to pay, why not? If I invited the guest, I'd have declined the money, but who knows why they didn't? But if you weren't willing to pay her admission, then you shouldn't have sent her with the money to pay. I'd probably have assumed they were paying since they invited her. I bet if you hadn't sent her with the money, they would not have asked for it. I wouldnt' have sent mine with the money and then criticized the hosts for accepting it. Don't offer what you'll think badly of someone for accepting :)

With all the parties I've hosted - I've NEVER asked an invited guest to pay. nor have I accepted money from an invited guest..

now when people bring extra kids? Yep - I let them know how much it would cost for the uninvited guests. It's called communication.

I would have asked more questions about your daughter's attendance.
I would ask my daughter if she handed the money over because you gave it to her - sometimes kids will assume when you give them money before a party - that they need to hand it over to the other parent.

We don't expect gifts for our parties. We celebrate the friendships and NOT the gifts!

You don't mention where the party location is. I'm guessing that it was some type of kid's venue (Chuck E Cheese, bowling alley, etc). In that case no your child shouldn't have paid and the mother shouldn't have accepted the money.

With lots of kids running around things can be confusing. Did DD just give the money to the mom? Or did DD offer to pay for something she wanted?

I do agree, I would never have a child who was invited to a party pay. However, I've had siblings show up uninvited, I didn't ask them to pay, but I would certainly understand if someone else in the same situation would.

I would also be surprised that they accepted the money. If you are invited to a party, then the host should be the one to pay.

Who said this mama is "worried"? She said she just "curious". Some of you mamas are so quick to jump on others for writing a post, isn't that what the site is all about?

eh. without being present when the money changed hands, it's hard to say just how it went down. yeah, i'd expect to pay for any kid i invited, but modern 'destination' kids' parties have become awfully convoluted.
good thing you sent money, and hope the kids had fun.
khairete
S.

Maybe she gave the money to her friend. Not that the friend should had taken it, but it because she is young.

I have been on both sides of this and find it crazy either way. We have been invited to parties where we are told "siblings welcome" and then find out at the door that we are expected to pay for the siblings. I would never write siblings welcome on an invitation unless I intended to pay for them. I've also hosted parties (at places like a bowling alley ect where you have to give a number) and had people show up with siblings without telling me. At one party it was so awkward because the place I was having the party kept pointing out that I would have to pay extra for the extra child with each thing we did. I didn't mind paying for the extra child but really can't imagine showing up with an extra child unless I asked in advance or was specifically told siblings were welcome.

While it is annoying, I think it's the kind of thing you just have to shrug off because there are so many more important things to worry about!

I find this difficult to believe-actually, shocking.

I would have called after receiving the email and said "Suzy did receive the invitation...did you get our RSVP?" I would not have sent her with money to give them...I would have sent her with money to spend if she wanted something extra (games beyond what was included or something).

Now if by "invited to the party" you really meant just that last minute email...I would have clarified "Sure, how much money should I send her with?" because "joining her friend at the party location" does not necessarily mean "invited to the party".

I would never expect my child to pay when he was invited to a birthday party. I don't even think I would have sent money along, because it is assumed that the host pays for all invited guests. The host should not have taken her money.

The only exception would be if the party was at a place where additional things - outside what is included in the party - can be purchased (i.e. popcorn at a movie, a spare outfit at Build-A-Bear, etc).

WOW! That is extremely rude. I guess it really doesn't make a difference if she offered it or they asked...just curious.

These friends are not a good match for your daughter on that level. I would not accept another invitation from them. I would keep the friendship, but would not allow her to go places with them.

This is why communication is a good thing. Ask for clarification. Sounds like they did not expect a gift, she was just there as a friend of her daughter. A simple question of what should she bring would have cleared it all up.

She may not have even known your daughter brought a gift if she wasn't expecting it