Pacifier Woes

I to think its a little young to take it away at this point. My son loves his, and I feel safer with him having it at night b/c they say it reduces the risk of SIDS, so I do like for him to have it right now. I would maybe wait a while before you took it away. I had a friend and her little boy loved his binky, he had it on a string around his neck b/c he did not want to lose it, and one day he walked by the trash can, threw it in, and said Mom, I don't need that anymore. So there is some light at the tunnel...I hope that helped.

My daughter who is 2 kept chewing on her binky to the point where she put a hole in it. I told her that it had a hole in it & that it was dangerous that it had to be thrown away. So what we did was let her throw it away. For about a week she would ask for it & I would remind her that it had a whole in it & that she threw it away. It has been since Christmas & now she will tell people that her binky has a hole in it & that she put it in the trash.

Hmmmm, my suggestion is to just allow her to have it for bedtime and have her say "Bye-bye" to it every morning. However, because she's throwing it to get you to go back to her room you may want to try taking it away. My daughter also uses her binkie for bedtime only and she does really well with it. In fact, we give her two--one for her mouth and one for her hands to hold. Every morning she says "Bye-bye B" and that's it. We're waiting until she can fully understand what it means to say goodbye to it forever before we take it away. Probably sometime around her 2nd birthday I imagine. Best of luck!

My son (now 3 1/2) was also very attached to his pacifier. He too only used it at night, but we weren't sure we would ever get rid of it. We started working on it when he was 2. We cut the tip off of it and told him it was broken. We explained that we needed to send it to the binky fairy so she could fix it then give it to another baby. He actually bought it without a fight...that was it, no more pacifier. I wouldn't stress about it at this point.....they will eventually realize it is not that important. Now...the blanket on the other hand, I think my son will be using that when he goes to college!

Good luck!

My son would do this with his blanket and pacifier when we were crying it out, but he was 20 months old. i let him suffer for about 5 minutes crying to get them back, then he didn't do that again, or at least not very often.

i have no plans to take away his pacifier since it helps him sleep, and that is our goal. he only gets it when he goes to sleep in his bed. maybe you should reconsider taking it away from her until she's older and has better sleep habits really under her belt. i don't believe there's any dental reason to take it away until they're 3 years old.

My son just turned 2 on Dec.8. We have gone 3 days as of now without any paci. I told his dentist that his second birthday was my goal to get rid of the paci and he said that was the perfect time. That anything the paci was doing to his mouth wouldn't do permanent damage, it would fall back into place, but letting him go beyond that may be a problem. So I started snipping the ends off of all the ones I could find and he would still suck on them. Or at least kind of chew them. Then he finally just got tired of them. I think also him being to communicate a little more now has helped too. Something someone told me recently was a great idea but since he gave it up on his own we didn't have to do it - Take him to a Build A Bear store and put the paci in a new bear. I thought that was a wonderful idea. At this point since he hasn't asked and we have most of the pacies hidden I don't want to bring them out again. Today I am actually collecting all the ones I can find and sending them off to paciland, trash. I just have to do it when isn't looking.

GOOD LUCK

We waited until our daughter was almost 2 before getting totally rid of her paci. A lot of that was because my husband was in Iraq until she was 18 months and we moved shortly after he came home. We wanted her to have something comforting. Thankfully, she never threw hers out of the crib.

Anyway, what we did was restrict her paci to naptime and bedtime. And then one weekend when friends were visiting, we collected all of her paci's and gave them to the 'new baby' (our friends are expecting). For the next week, the common bedtime refrain was 'sucker? baby?'...'yes, sweetie the baby needed your suckers'. She didn't go to sleep the greatest and she would wake up during the night, but it took about a week of this before she settled. She hasn't asked for one since.

I'd consider leaving the paci with her unless she throws it out of her crib. Give it back to her once or twice and then tell her if she throws it again, it will stay on the floor. And then leave it there! It is the hardest thing in the world to listen to your little one scream at you, but if we don't teach them limits now it will be much harder later (or so my mom assures me).

Good luck!

Hi L.,
Maybe she is not ready to get rid of it, 13 months is not that old to still have one. I tried also at that age and just gave up and then at 2 I tried again and it was a lot easier. My son Dylan was also only using it to sleep. I tried to cut a hole in it but that did not work and I ended up just taking it away from him cold turkey and it took about a week of crying but that was it. So maybe just let her have it longer, my thoughts are as long as she does not walk around all day long with it in her mouth, I hate to see kids that do that.
Good luck hope I helped a little. D.

I am a stay home mom of a 30 month old boy named Dylan. I have been married for 4 years and live at Ocean City, MD

Don't be scared of your 13 month old's tantrums. They aren't pleasant to listen to but they won't last forever. Eventually your daughter will teach herself how to cope.

L. - as with other parenting issues we all face this is a time to "pick your battle". Do you want to fight the pacifier or the tantrum? Personally, both of my girls had their binkies until they were well over 1 and I'm pretty sure at night until they were 2. At age 2 we did a few things: we talked about how "big girls don't have pacifiers" and that eventually "they will have to give it up". We made dates (plural because the first doesn't always work) and then eventually we would say, OK, this is it - no more binky. My oldest daughter actually took hers and threw it in the trash and that was that. The younger one was a little tougher but eventually she left it at her aunt's house and there weren't any more and that was it. We have actually found a few that were "lost" that I've stuck into their baby books because they were both very attached to them and I love seeing their favorites - great memories of a time past! Good luck and just pick the battle, but try talking to her about it for a month or so ahead of time because at 13 months she most likely fully understands when something is gone. It makes it easier on her because then she understands why you're taking something away from her.

I think that 13 months is still young enough to let her have it at bedtime if she needs it. The manipulation part is probably just a phase. My daughter does that occasionally but not every night. If you are taking the pacifier away then you should replace it with something else to comfort her (a blanket, animal...some kind of lovie) and she can just as easily throw that out to get you to come in. The nights that she is throwing it out of her crib, maybe she just isn't as tired as normal. She will eventually go to sleep and stop throwing it out. I would be patient and let her have her pacifier for comfort at night....she is still a baby after all. My son used the pacifier at night until he was about 2 yrs and 4 months. We took it right after he was potty trained. I think it was easier to take it when he was older because he could understand more of what we were telling him. We took it away and he NEVER asked for it again. He had a few other things (blanket and burpy) that he slept with already so those just became more important. My daughter is 19 months old and she is much more "in love" with her ninny then my son was but we still TRY to only let her have it at bed time. She will occasionally find one during the day and get so excited but when we ask her for it, she gives it to us and doesn't throw any fits. I am not concerned about bedtime usage. It bothers me to see a 3/4 year old walking around with one all day though.

Good Luck!

I remember reading somewhere that if you slowy cut off the tips of the pacifer that it will phase them out of it because they won't have it to suck on.

Have you tried cutting off just the very tip of the pacifier??? A friend of mine did that. Then, it isn't enjoyable for them anymore.

Another friend of mine just cut her twins off cold turkey at about 14 months. They would scream the first two weeks at bedtime til they exhausted themselves. Periodically they would also wake up, but she stuck to her guns and they eventually gave up on the whole bit. Seriously though, expect one to two weeks for that. You may even have to step outside when you put her down for bed, so that you don't cave.

First things first, try cutting the tip off. If that doesnt' work and you decide to go cold turkey, throw them all away so you and her aren't tempted.

The world won't crumble to an oblivion if she isn't off it by two. So, give it your best shot. Be strong, but keep in mind it is simply a recommendation. OF course, it is easier to do it sooner than later. Just don't feel bad if you can't conquer it right now.

BUY EAR PLUGS...LOLOL
QUIT GIVING IT TO HER...SHE KNOWS IT'S A GAME NOW
seriously though...her teeth will start forming bad sucking on them....
take her to a store and get her a new teddy or doll and tell her you'll exchange the doll for the pacy...

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I think that you and your spouse are doing a great job. I would continue to keep the pacifier from her. I have 4 children and I really didn't have that problem because only 1 of them used a pacifier. You have to just continue to let her know that you love her and that she cant use the pacifier as a tool. I wish you luck.

Hi L.! I have two children, both of which loved their pacifiers. I made a goal the first time around by telling myself as long as it is gone by the age of two that is fine with me. With my first child(was 18 months) we woke up one morning and I took the pacifier and told him he was a big boy and did not need it anymore. I took him to the trash can and we threw it in, and I reassured him again by telling him he was a big boy. He looked at it in the trash can and walked away. He asked for it back once (about a day later) and I said, "Remmeber you are a big boy now, we don't need that naymore". I never heard about it from then on. With my second child I took it away in the same manner but later that night my husband gave it back to him, just because he was crying for it that night! I waited a week, and then tried it again (he was 19 months old), and it worked. He cried for it at least 3-4 times but I just reassured him that he was a big boy also. I know you cannot keep trying to give it up and then turn around and hand it to your child.. they are smart and know as long as they cry for it, you will break down and give in. I think with alot of reassurance and looking as though you are stronge in your help to take it away they pick that up. I have also read in many magazines that you can cut off a piece (an end) of the pacifier and give them the cut pacifier and they will not like it anymore because the sucking action will be gone. I never tried that but heard it can work. Does your child have a favorite blanket? My Children now take their favorite security blanket with them to bed. Just some ideas, hope it helps. You could also try and send her to bed with a sippy cup of water, my second child wakes up in the middle of the night and he will get a drink, instead of wanting his pacifier.

Wow! Both my son's had pacifers. Fact, my 46 years old son who had the pacifer still points out the Drug store were we had to stop after he lost his, (he has a big smile on his face when stating this)
My theory was that I never saw a kid in school or in college walking around with a pacifer, so there is a transition in your future. But, now is not the future. Sucking is a good thing, it makes us feel secure loved and relaxed.
I didn't have a pacifer and sucked my thumb until I was 14. I am a retired professor and still think with my finger close to my mouth. I wonder sometimes what thats all about.

Lighten up, having a contented happy baby is far more important then her being on an artificial schedule. Her time being content is far more important.
Catherine

Hello there i am a mother of three, a seven year old, a five year old and a 6 week old. My seven year old did not take a pacifier and my 6 week old seems to not like it, however my five year old LOVED it. It is good that you are only using it at night, that means she is ready to let it go, as you stated she only seems to go crazy for it at night to get the attention. If she went without it for a week then she can go with out it for good. Here is my advice, talk to her throughout the day to let her know that at night you and Dad will not be giving her the pacifier. I am quite sure she understands and will begin to grasp the fact that you mean what you say. Look for things that seem to calm her during the day that you can give her at night when it is time for bed. I know (trust me) the hardest part is to hear her cry but mom you have to stay strong if you want this to work. When she begins to cry at night for her paci, or when she wakes up in the middle of the night for it, tell her (calmly, rub her back whatever you need to do) that she won't be getting it. You may just have to let her cry. Try that the first night and in the morning applaud her for going through the night without it. It becomes easier I guarantee.

L.,

Get rid of it now! The longer she uses it the harder it is to take it away! "Lose it". We did actually lose all of ours and I did find it but didn't tell my daughter. I told her if she could find it she could have it. We had about a week of waking up in the middle of the night and just continued to say it's lost if she could find it she could have it. But she will calm down, try giving her a flashlight to play with in bed when she starts screaming, it may take her attention away from it. YOu have to be strong, she's not in danger and she's not hurt when she's screaming. I just don't like it when I see kids who are 2 walking around with a pacifier and I know you don't want that to happen.

L., Your daughter is still so young. I have a 4 year old that didn't give up her pacifier until she was 3 and she got a baby brother. I know that is late but we only used it at nap and bedtime. When we didn't give it to her she would suck her thumb. Her doctor informed us that as long as we weren't using it all day she was OK. There was no real problem with her just having it at night b/c it falls out of their mouth after a little while anyway.

I also have a 16 month old son. He also uses one. From a mother's point of view I think she is fine with it for now. All you really need to worry about at this age is getting her off the bottle. She will do away with the pacifier over time and it won't be such a problem. She is also not just throwing it as a manipulation tool. She is learning how to throw and finds it fun. She is most likely not realizing what she is throwing until it is out of her crib. My son went through the same thing. It lasted for a couple weeks and then he realized that he enjoyed sucking on it more than he enjoyed throwing it. You might hear that she knows what she is doing but she is only 13 months and is still learning a lot. I don't think she completely understands what is going on yet.

I think it is great that you have her just using it at bedtime and good luck with whatever you chose to do. But, according to our doctors as long as she is off the bottle and the pacifier isn't an all day thing. You will be OK. Good luck again.

A.

Hi L.,
My sister-in–law gave me some good advice about this a few years ago when I went through the same thing. She said “no one has ever graduated from high school with a pacifier in their mouths”. They all quit at some point, the sooner the better but don’t make it a power struggle or torture yourself about it. My daughter quit using hers at 3.

Oh boy have I been there!
My daughter was the same way!
I have to say, I just gave in until about age 2 1/2 until her dentist told me it was time to cut it out. She was late to get her front teeth, though, so you'd probably want to get her off of them sooner if there's a worry her teeth might get crooked. Anyway, I asked the dentist to talk to her about it, and let him explain that it was time to put the pacifiers in a box and send them to new babies who need them. Amazingly, this worked. I could pass the buck with an "I just work here" attitude ("if it was up to me you could have them forever, but that's what Doctor Dworkin says!"), and she seemed to actually enjoy the task of helping round them up and put them in the box and tape the box up (if you can both actually take them to the post office and mail them, that would be even better! Won't grandma be surprised). I do remember once she really wanted one and I said, "sorry, they've all been sent to the babies!" and she scrounged around looking for one we might have missed like some kind of addict, but once she knew they were all gone for good she accepted it.
Good luck!

Dear L.

My now four year old had the same problem. We kept trying to take the pacifier away but decided not to keep trying after we saw the results of our neighbors child without it at such a young age. She ended up using a bottle for comfort way past the time our daughter finally gave up the pacifier at age 2. We hid several pacifiers in the blankets to solve the throwing out issue. If they all ended up on the floor we'd turn off the monitor so we didn't have to listen. Kids are pretty resilient and they do get used to being without one fairly soon.

We did not get rid of my son's pacifier until he turned two. I completely understand the manipulation thing, Grant was an expert at that. This is why we decided to get rid of it. We were told by someone else to soak his pacifier in lemon juice mixed with a little bit of water and soak it all day. Throughout the day tell your daughter that tonight when you get your pacifier it won't work. When we did this with Grant I was thinking no way will this work. Shockingly it did! When it was time for his pacifier we told him again it won't work, he stuck it in his mouth, made a funny face and quickly gave it back. We asked him if was working and he said no. He went to bed without a fight. Now the rest of the week he woke up in the middle of the night more than usual but we just went into his room, rubbed his back for a second, and left. Now remember he was two so he had a better understanding of things, but good luck!

Our pediatrician told us the longer you wait the harder it'll be b/c they develop a longer memory the older they get.

So what I did was tell him we were throwing them in the garbage b/c he was a big boy now and that was it. then you don't have any temptation to cave in either.

he cried for a little bit, but i just reminded him that they were gone and he's ok without it. he only cried a couple of times and that was it.

As a grandma, I've been through the pacifer thing more than a few times. It is her comfort zone that you are dealing with- that which makes them feel safe. For some chidren it is a blanket, or a stuffed animal or a thumb. We adults have our own comfort zone crutches and no one tells us it is time to give them up ( unless, of course, it is harmful).
She will give it up on her own when she is ready.
Nana G.

My three year old (at the time) was the same way. She even developed her own nicknames for it. We were finally able to get her off of it by slowly cutting away at the tip. I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this, but it does work really good. She would cry for a little while, but she would eventually get over it. I know it's hard on you as parents, but after about two weeks they usually start to calm down.

Just keep trying and I wish you all the luck!

Here are a couple of things that are at least worth a try (sorry so long)...

A friend of mine had the same problem with her son, who was 3 when he finally decided he had had enough of the paci. They had tried everything with him, but he had them hidden EVERYWHERE! In the car, in his bed between his matress and boxspring, in the couch, under the furniture...when I say everywhere I meant it. Everytime she would take one away from him and finally get him to give up that one, he would show up with another one. So one day she told him that they needed to collect all the pacis so that babies who needed them could have them (at the time, my youngest was only a month old or so, so she told him he would get to give them to Alorah). He loved the idea! She gave him a box that he got to decorate for Alorah, and went and found all the hidden pacis. She let him keep one, and told him that he had to be a big boy and keep it in a special cup but he could have it at bedtime, only if he did not throw a fit for it. Well, Alorah ended up with about 30 or so pacis and Justin was finally down to one. My friend was able to slowly ween him from that one, once he did not have many.

If I were you, I would tell your daughter that if she throws the paci out of the crib, it will be lost. I did that with my oldest daughter and her bottle. She was a little older than your little girl (she was 2 when we weened her completely), but I think your little one will understand. Kaitlyn would throw her bottle out to get our attention. Finally one night I told her that if she threw the bottle out of the bed it would disappear. Everynight before I went to bed, I would go in her room and sure enough her bottle would be on the floor. I would take it and throw it away. Soon after that we were down to the last one and I made sure that she knew it was the last one. Well, the same thing happened and that was it. She asked for the bottle when she woke up, and when I told her it was gone, she never asked for it again.

Good Luck!!!

Here is what we did, and our pediatrician recommended it! We got rid of all the pacis except one. Then we cut of the very tip so it lost the swole sucking appeal. Every morning while Mackenzie was eating breakfast, I would cut off a little more. It lost the appeal. She told me her paci was broken and I told her the other ones got eaten by the dog and we didn't have any "Paci Money" to buy a new one. After 3 days, the paci was a long lost memory. My old sitter had a problem with her daughter and so after CHristmas, she told Elizabeth that Baby Jesus needed a Paci and wanted to borrow hers. It took about 2 weeks of letting Jesus borrow it for longer stretches durring the day and eventually into the night, but it worked. As far as the night time thing, I would just let her cry it out. She is old enough to cry herself to sleep without it, or try subbing a small animal or special blanket for bedtime only instead of the paci. Good luck

I am a mother of 2 (5 yrs. and 71/2 yrs.) What we did was around Christmas time we made "ornaments" out of binkies for the elves to take and the elves would leave a note and a candycane in the binkies place on the tree. Binkies are used for soothing, is there anything else your child is "addicted" to? Stick to your guns and I'll pray for patience and wisdom.