Hi, N.,
I will describe what worked for me. I can't comment on any weight loss supplements as I've never taken any. I suspect that there is no healthy "quick fix" when it comes to weight loss. I will also give you a bit of advice that is probably different than the advice you've already been offered (as I come from a family of pscyhologists, psychotherapists, and am a graduate student studying psychology).
I am 42 years old and am 5'3". My two kids are now 2 and 1. Most of my life, I've weighed between 110 pounds and 115 pounds and have been quite athletic, swimming, playing tennis, lifting weights, dancing, etc. almost every day. While pregnant with my elder child, I gained 35 pounds, which was too much, as a result of not exercising for 4 months to fulfill doctor's orders, taking prednisone, which slows metabolism and increases appetite, and eating everything in sight. As soon as my first child was born, I started trying to lose weight but struggled, especially after the first few months. (Because I had a c-section, I could not exercise for a couple of months. Lack of exercise probably slowed my weight loss.) I became pregnant six months after the birth of my first son. At that time, I was 10 pounds heavier than usual. In that pregnancy, though, I got to exercise for the duration of the pregnancy. I gained just 21 pounds. My second child, too, was delivered by c-section. However, since he was born (12 months ago), I've lost 40 pounds. My weight has dropped to 107 pounds.
I did not kill myself to lose the 40 pounds. I think that the following helped. First, I have nursed my second child because that's what he wants. (First one did not want to nurse, so I nursed my first-born for less than six months.) Second, with two babies, classes and research obligations and a husband who is gone most of the year, I don't have much time to eat. (I'm not advocating this method of weight loss.) Third, I am vegetarian who does not eat fast food and tries to limit my sugar intake to one dessert and one sugary drink, e.g. hot chocolate, each week. (I don't always live up to this standard!) Fourth, I try to push my two kids around in a double stroller at least every other day and lift weights and do some cardio exercise on the cardio equipment at the gym at least every other day. (Fortunately, I've found a gym that offers babysitting so that I can exercise.) In the past, when my body has not felt good or I've started gaining more weight than I think I should, I've recorded my diet for a week or two and then shown my log to a dietician. I've noticed that I often let myself become dehydrated because I don't drink as much water as I should. (Sometimes, I drink only a few cups of water per day.)
One thing that has NOT helped me stay as fit as I'd like is depression. Due to some problems in my marriage, lack of sleep and a mild identity crisis, I have been depressed for a couple of years. The depression makes me exert myself less at the gym. (Does that make sense? I hope so.) If I did not feel depressed, I would probably work out much more vigorously and be firmer and stronger. I underwent psychotherapy several months ago for a few sessions but was terribly unimpressed with the therapist, who I thought was about as sharp as a bowling ball. I have started to see a therapist who I think is one of the sharper therapists I've seen. I also occasionally listen to CDs designed to reduce depression and anxiety and increase energy. (Belleruth Naperstak offers a wide range of imagery CDs. You can view them at www.healthjourneys.com.) I hope that by reducing the depth of my depression, I will be able to directly and indirectly help myself feel better. If you think that depression plays a prominent role in your life and you have not consulted a psychologist or psychotherapist yet, I recommend considering it.
As you are young yet having been with your partner for a decade and have a beautiful 14 month old boy, it sounds as though you enjoy major aspects of your life and you have a lot of things going for you.
Good luck,
Lynne E