Overnight Potty Training for 5YO

My daughter went through a similar situation... she wasn't fully overnight potty trained until she was almost 7. We tried lots of things.. limiting liquids, waking her up at night to go, setting an alarm clock to wake her up over night to go, using nightlights in her room, the hallway and bathroom to help her go... in the end, she just eventually outgrew it. Nothing I did seemed to do much, it honestly just seemed to stop on its own. What i would recommend is getting a good mattress cover (we ruined her mattress) and either continue using pull ups (maybe putting the undies over them so he feels like he is still wearing his "big boy" underwear.. or using the overnight mats you can buy (disposbale) so if he does have night accidents they are quick and easy to clean up...

Good luck =)

Not to worry! Don't feel lazy.....I am a 34 year old mother of 4 (14,13,8,4mos) I wet my bed until I was at least 8 or 9...my oldest wet until 9...2nd until 10....3rd still wetting...and the baby, lets just say I plan on buying pullups for a very long time. There are many "full proof" methods recommended most of them I have tried but the truth is it won't change what their bladder can hold and it won't make them sleep less soundly to feel it coming. It will only make them self-conscious. My advise is just buy pull-ups limit drinks after 6pm and know that there aren't any adults that I know of that wet the bed.

You may have already tried this, but I find the best solution was limiting fluids later in the day.
A small glass of water or milk with dinner and that's it.
Good luck!

Hi, L.,

I'm a mom with 2 girls, 9 and 6. When my youngest was night training, someone suggested the following process to me and it worked well. Layer your son's bed with 2 or 3 layers of alternating sheets and pads. This will make it easier to clean up at night when and if he has an accident. All you have to do is take off a layer versus putting on a clean sheet, etc. When I went to bed at night, the last thing I did was get my daughter on the potty and pee. A lot of times, she was asleep, but was able to pee on the potty and then put her back to bed. It did not disrupt her sleep. After a short time, she was night trained. She was actually night trained before she was day trained. I hope this is helpful to you. Good luck!

My 5 yr old also wakes up to a nightmare and then to realize he has wet the bed. This doesn't happen very often anymore, but he does wake up often in the middle of the night to pee. We try to make sure that he doesn't drink a lot of liquids right before bed and we make sure that he tries to get out all the pee before bed. Even if it's going to the potty twice in the hour before bed.

HI,

You can train a child during the day but the night time is physiologic, meaning it will happen on its own, regardless of what you do. The brain literally throws a switch and they start to make it through the night. Don't torture your self or your child. Put the child in a pull up, and after many nights dry, start with undies at night. Some children are dry at night at 3yo and others take til past 7 yo.

A. K

Hi L.,
Please don't get too upset about this. The inability to make it through the night does not indicate laziness on your part or willfullness on his. It is all about anatomy. I know it's frustrating, but he will grow out of it. I have to smile as I type this because I remember this sage advice given to me when I was in the middle of it, and I remember how I felt about it. I think my son and daughter stopped wearing night-time diapers at about the same time and she is 2 years younger. Good luck and remmember: those night time diapers are our friends. ;)
Margie (mom of 3)

Don't worry too much about it. My son is 9 and still wets the bed, he wore pullup until ge grew out of them and is now wearing adult nightime "underwear". We tried everything including letting him sleep naked, with just underwear, an alarm...it's been really frustrating but some kids just need more time. His pediatrician recommended the alarm but being a boy, the stream didn't always hit the tiny alarm clipped to his underwear so he would wake up soaked again. I would say do your best to keep the laundry to a minimum for your sake, Keep with the pullups or goodnights. I think I'm gonna try a different alarm with a larger sensor, I would advise this with a boy as you never know where the urine is gonna go. Just keep encouraging him when he does have a dry nite!

My brother wet the bed til he was 7. He was a heavy sleeper and just wouldn't wake. Plus his ped. said a lot of boys' bodies grow quicker than their bladders. I wouldn't worry about it.

It's completely normal for many children, due to deep sleep and physiological development. IMHO stressing out about it too much and fixating on it may lead to additional problems.

my 9 yr old is still doing this.. she was on meds to help, but it didn't work.. basically, if a kid's body isn't ready to hold it all night, there's nothing you can do about it. if they are sound sleepers (my daughter is) then it will happen, it just takes time.. the meds will only work if their body is ready.. there are drawbacks to the meds too - tread lightly! It is normal.. We did try her wearing undies inside the pull up to see if that would wake her - it didn't, but you can try it anyway.. there are alarms too that you can get, but they wake the whole house up, not just the kid...

My boy went in pull-ups until 5, then we were able to get him out...but I had suspected that he had control over it...I offered a reward, and it worked...but he had control..To me, it doesn't sound like he has nighttime control...I bet he is a very deep sleeper (my son is). Did he have night terrors? My son did, and I leardned that this is related to sleep cycles...some children fall asleep so deeply that they don't move into lighter sleep easily (this is when night terrors in young children occur). My daughter, on the other hand, is a light sleeper, and she is completely out of diapers at three. I feel your pain. Good luck!

I'm sure you've already thought to restrict his fluid intake at a certain point before bedtime. Maybe try backing that time up a bit (by 15 minutes each night) until you reach the "magic" time.

And another quick thought would be simply to wake him up right before you go to bed (11ish??) and have him use the bathroom then. HOPEFULLY... that will carry him through until the morning. (It works for my son.)

Good luck!

My son did this until he was 10YO. It's just something they grow out of. It cannot be trained, they can't be embarrassed into it, rewarded to do it, punished for it - we tried everything. Now that I think about it...it didn't really go away until we started IGNORING it. (like it was no big deal) The overnight problem was very strange to us, because this was our child who was day trained BEFORE 2YO.

hi
i unfortunately have no answers but wanted to respond b/c i am having the same problem with my 3 yo girl. so if you come up with any helpful info please feel free to forward it!
thanks
H. c

My oldest daughter who is now 23 years old had trouble with wetting her bed and after quite a long bout with dealing with it, we found that she had a valve problem in her bladder which required surgery. Also, I was told that her bladder was very small so it was harder for her to "hold it". So, I guess what I am suggesting is next time you go to the doctor to ask him about those potential problems.

Hi L.,

I had the same problem with my son. Its very frustrating. I would have my son go to bed around 8 PM EST and pee right before that. Then I would set my alarm clock to wake up around 11:30 and i wouldn't turn on any lights, just night lights and I would pick him up and bring him to the potty. I would take off his jammie bottoms and put him on the potty backwards so that he was facing the way he would while standing and the wake hime up gently. Usually, getting woken up was the reason he would pee in bed to begin with. I felt waking him at 11:30 really wasn't as bad as waiting until around 1 or 2 AM. And after a couple months it worked. He now goes to the potty before bed and doesn't have any problems. I hope this has helped and good luck.

C. 30 y/o with a 5 yy/o boy and 2 month old little girl

Hi L., My boys are 6 and 4 1/2. We stop their drinking about 45 minutes prior to bedtime. Make sure they go to the bathroom prior to story time and then we get them up right before we go to sleep (around 10:30) and bring them in to go to the bathroom. we haven't had any accidents in over a year and for my 4 1/2 year old, that's pretty impressive. Try bringing your son to the bathroom right before you to to sleep. I bet you'll see a difference. Hope this helps.
S.

One in eight don't night train until they are eight. Please don't tramatize him with making him try to learn, his body will do it when it is ready, it is not so much a skill as a bodily function. There are many excellent books on this. This is why they make such big pull ups. Your son is perfectly normal. When his body is ready, it will happen. Nothing you will do will make the growing happen, only make it tramatic. It will happen when it is time. It is in my family as well, and some get it and some it takes more time.

My 5 year old son only recently has been able to go through the night without wetting. You just have to wait until your son's bladder grows large enough to hold all of the urine it collects during the night. Keep wearing Pull-ups until then. It's not anyone's fault or laziness, just the size of his bladder. All he can do is use the toilet before going to sleep. No pressure will keep all happy.

Hi L.,

I too am a stay at home mom of 2 boys. My oldest will be 6 in april & my youngest will be 4 in august. So I'm right there with you!

My son (who is going on 6 next month) had a very hard time potty training overnight. My pedi said it's normal too. For starters, don't make it a 'big issue", be very calm & never yell or be upset (even if it's at 2am). Have him help you with the clean up part & figure out (with him) a new bedtime routine.

We first started with the 'no drinks after dinner'. which made HUGE difference. Even when he begged & cried for a sip of water, we HAD to refuse him. And just doing that alone narrowed the bed wetting from every night to 3x a week. Also, he had to go potty every 1/2 hour from finishing dinner until bed time & then once more right before he climbed into bed. So if you eat around 530 & finish around 6 - have him go pee right away, then again at 630, 7, 730 & then 8pm (our kids generally go to bed between 730 & 8). If he doesn't go each time, it's ok - the point is to try to get it all out before he falls asleep. Then if I'd read them a few stories, when I finished & if he wasn't asleep, I"d make him go try one more time to pee.

Now he gets up with no problem in the middle of the night to go potty. I think we've had less than 5 accidents at night in the last 7 or 8 months. So obviously something we're doing is working for us.

I do recommend a pull up at night until he can get the hang of getting himself up at night. I actually set my alarm for 30 minutes before his usual 'accident time'. I found that usually around 2am (for my son - everyone's different) he'd wake up with a wet bed. So I'd set the alarm from anywhere between 1 & 130 and actually go & wake him up & take him in the bathroom & have him go pee. And he usually went! And then he'd wake up in the morning w/dry pull ups. After 3-4 weeks of getting into that routine & getting used to it & him having a dry pull up just about every night for those weeks, we switched back to underwear at night. He got up on his own to go to the bathroom (i still got up with him - i'm not a very heavy sleeper) & no more accidents.

It's a process & it's harder on your kid than it is for you. It's a huge self esteem buster. Anyways, I hope these tips bring some help to you. Just let him no he's not the only one & it'll get easier. But just to let you know now, if noone's told you yet, it can last MUCH longer than 7yrs old. My youngest brother had accidents until he was almost 15 yrs old. My mom was so patient & kind to him that thankfully he didn't get too upset about it, but I know for a fact it was hard on him for sleepovers & things. He missed out on alot due to the problem.

My 3 yr old was much easier - he's not even 4 yet & doesn't have any accidents at night and he too gets up at night to go pee. His accidents are once in a blue moon. so it just goes to show that all kids are different.

So if you're up to it, give it a try. Cut off his drinks after dinner & make him go pee often ... and if you think it'll work, try waking him up at night to go as well. It was a life saver in our house. Good luck & God bless!

hi L., I went through this with my son also. he is now 4 and a half... I would walk him to the bathroom,around 11:300 every night have him pee and tuck him back in he never woke up.. so it did not disturb his sleep ONLY MINE :) I know you said you wake him to pee but can you suppport him while he walks half asleep into the bathroom you do everthing for him,pull down his pants hold his body next to the toilet or sit him whatever is easier then walk him back... Do not turn any lights on, nightlights only?? this is what worked for us unfortuanelty He wakes every night to pee on his own but needs me to tuck him in?? Oh well but no more bed wetting since oct! good luck and yes it can last till 7-10 years old especially for boys?? and it can be genetic

Hi, I know there are a special pair of underwear you can buy that have a moisture sensor in them and when he starts to pee, even a little, it beeps to wake the child up to tell him to go to the bathroom.
We still limit the fluids our 9 year old can have, usually it's a glass of milk at dinner and nothing else after that (unless it's hot, dehydrating weather). Also, we have her go to the bathroom right before bed (even if she went to the bathroom 30 min before). Also, we have a special fitted sheet to protect to mattress from urine.
Good luck and let me know if you have any secrets to get my 3 year old interested in the potty! =)
J.

My older son, who is now 9, had the same problem until he was almost 7. He was a really solid sleeper and just could not wake up. We tried everything limiting liquids before bed, making sure he used the bathroom before bed, waking him up in the middle of the night and sleep pull ups. We also felt that pull ups were lazy, but when he started feeling bad about himself because he woke up most mornings wet we went back to the sleep pull ups. These are made for older kids and he felt ok about this. Every once in a while he choose not to wear them and then eventually he had more dry nights than wet. Just like regular potty training it worked itself out when his body was ready.

S.

Boys bladders take longer to develop sometimes. I agree with your pediatrician. Don't worry about it and put him in a pull up for bed. If you want to give him a sticker every time he wakes up dry, or some other kind of positive reinforcement, that would be fine, but try not to create a situation where he feels badly about wetting. He is asleep and not willfully doing this. My eldest son was not dry through the night until 6, and my younger one was dry at three - briefly. Imagine our surprise when after about a year he started wetting a few nights a week. After establishing there was no medical or emotional reason behind it, we realized he was in need of more time.

L.,

Hi! I wish I had some suggestions because I am going through the same thing with my 4 1/2 year old. I too feel like I should be doing something more to get him to stay dry during the night and my ped. also tells me not to worry about it.I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I too would welcome some suggestions.

My son is 5 as well...and in the same situation. All I did was have him go potty before bed, and before I went to bed, get him up, and have him go again. But, after that if he pee's...he's got his pull up on, so no sleep disturbances. RIGHT after he wakes up, he goes to the bathroom...

I was using Good Nights for a while..but they're freakin' expensive. Since having him go potty before I went to bed, at whatever time that was, the pull ups work fine.

I wouldn't worry about the potty training at night. Try limiting liquids 2 hrs before bed time, and that shoudl help with the bladder issue also. Eventually they'll catch on. Some kids just take more time than others.

There are pull up's called Good Nites
http://www.goodnites.com/na/Default.aspx

But maybe cut down on drinking an hour before bed?? these could save your worries as he just may not have the night time control for awhile.

First make sure that there is nothing wrong with him medically.. second limit the amount of liquids you give him after 5 PM and YES wake him up when you go to bed so he can use the bathroom...you say he is hard to wake up so maybe just just keep a wide mouth soda bottle w/cover beside his bed and wake him enough to use that.. I used to wake my boys up and lug them to the bathroom... yes they weighed alot.. and stand them on the floor help them aim for the flush and keep telling them to pee... they went right back to sleep after. and just think of all the work you will save yourself . Good luck

My second son had the same problem, but our doctor advised that we bought a night alarm, which would wake him up every time his blader was full. Ask your doctor about it, you don't need a precription for it.

My boys are the same age as yours and my 3 yr old wears underware to bed, but my 5 yr old is still in a pull up at night. He does not get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and his pull ups are wet every morning. Like you, I asked his DR who said not to worry about it and that some boys take longer to potty train overnight. I was worried for a while, but I decided that when he starts waking up dry, we will let him wear underware to bed. My 3 yr old is great, he wakes us up in during the night to go potty and never wakes up wet. Some kids are just different I guess. My advise is if it does not bother your son to still be in pullups, dont let it bother you. When the time is right, you will know and he will tell you that he does not want to wear pull ups anymore....

Hi L.,
You've received more than enough advice, I'm sure, but I just wanted to tell you what I did when my son was too big for pull-ups, and just wouldn't wear them anymore (about 5
or 6yo). I continued to get him up before I went to bed - seriously, it didn't disrupt his sleep at all - he barely woke up! I think using the underwear instead of the pull-up is definitely better, so I prepared for the worst by putting 2-3 bottom sheets on his bed at once, layered with waterproof pads. That way, if he woke up wet in the night, he (or I) could just pull the wet sheets off and he could go right back to sleep. It reduced my stress in the night, and got him back to sleep quicker. The advice you've received to pretty much ignore/not stress over it is right on! It sounds like he just sleeps too deeply to wake himself up. He'll outgrow it.
Good luck!

Have you considered having him stop drinking after a certain time in the evening? I had to stop having my son drink a cup of water or milk before bed for the same reason. Now he gets a small 3 oz dixie cup of water after he brushes his teeth and that's usually it. Also, I make sure he goes to the bathroom right before he goes to bed.

My youngest who is now 10, never had a dry night until he was 8. Bedwetting is a very common issue especially in boys. If your doctor confirms that there is no health issues, then the best thing to do is to RELAX! You are not lazy and neither is he! Trust me we tried waking him in the middle of the night, limiting drinks at night, making sure he emptied his bladder before bed, we even tried some medicines the urologist suggested when he was 7. The problem was/ and still is a very deep sleeper and very tall and his bladder was not big enough to hold it through the night. The important part is not to make a big deal of it, this can effect his self confidence. They, the stores, actually sell Goodnight underwear in large sizes just for this. At 6 my son did not want pull ups, they were for babies and he was so tall pull ups did not fit him. They were his goodnight undies, and they look like underwear and do help to protect the bed! It made him feel better and we decided that he wasn't going to go to college with goodnights and it is very very common! The summer before 3rd grade it was like flipping a switch. We do still once in awhile have accidents, if he is up late, or I let him have soda while we are out to dinner he might have an accident. But stop beating yourself up and don't pressure him... he will grow out of it I PROMISE!!!!! When he gets a little bit older, you can have him be responsible for his sheets and help teach him how to help you take care of the wet mess. If he wakes you in the middle of the night by all means help with clean sheets, but in the morning if he's wet, just say..ok lets get things cleaned up. Help me with the sheets, can you take them to the washer? Get some dry pjs or clothes let's get you cleaned up...no big deal!!!!

My son also was wetting the bed at 5. I didn't think it was fair to not let him have water if he was thirsty before bed and I also didn't want to wreck his sleep by waking him to use the bathroom. I had him sleep in pull ups and he was sleeping in underwear by 6. He will out grow it and I don't think you are being lazy some boys just wet the bed longer.

What worked for all 3 of my kids (now aged 25, 23, & 17!) was to limit drinks after a certain time at night, depending on their bedtime, then get them up right before I went to bed and took them to the bathroom. This never fully woke them up, though. Lots of times they really seemed like they were sleepwalking to the bathroom. They always peed, then went right back to bed and to sleep, and woke up dry in the morning. It never seemed to interrupt their sleep.

L.,

My youngest was in pull-ups till about 5 and a half or so. SAVE YOURSELF the aggravation and let him wear the pull ups to bed. You'll have less laundry, and you little one will be more comfortable as well, a win-win situation so to speak.

This is something he cannot control. I have family with bed-wetting issues up till their teens even. He will eventually outgrow it.

Till then - don't sweat it and good luck to you!!

You can't potty train for the night, you can buy the alarms put him on meds but ultimately it is his body that will decide. He is not lazy if he is sleepign through the wet. His bladder has no control. Check into the family history and be prepared 7 is not a magic number I have a 12 yr old who still wets and none of the ways to "fix" it have worked. His is hereditary from both sides I had siblings and cousins who wet till they hit puberty and my DH wet till 12. Visit www.goodnites.com (maybe nights its booked marked so i forget)
for some reassurance. Hes normal hes just a bed wetter.

Hi L., I agree with your doctor. I have two boys 10 & 14. My oldest wet the bed until 6 months ago. We have several friends who are Urologist and they all said not to worry about it until it becomes a social issue. He and his best friend wore Pull Ups until 5th grade during sleep overs. His friend grew out of it first and at that point we looked at all of our options from drugs to night time alarms. The two that I really liked was the Potty Pager, a beeper size device that snaps into the fly of boys underware. It vibrates when it gets wet. Audible alarms were useless since he was such a deep sleeper. Second is the drug DDAVP(Desmopressin)which decreases the urine production and he only needs to take it on special occassions such as a sleep over. It doesn't have all the side effects of the other drugs that were suggested and it worked. But I repeat, that I would not do anything short of putting your son in Pull Ups until it becomes a social issue. Good luck, D.