One Year Old Throwing Tantrums

I would ignore my boys when they used to do that, but they didn't bite themselves.

I would try to hold his arms and his forehead so he doesn't bite you and just rock him, talking quietly about how the correct way to react when angry or frustrated, maybe sing a little song.

When he is calmed down, I would tell him the proper way to behave and what he could do instead. Even though he doesn't communicate with you doesn't mean he won't understand you. So if you talk calmly that you don't like that when he does do that it may get through. It will take a little bit, but he will understand. Try not to react, just be calm. Always do the same thing for the same behaviors.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block is a FANTASTIC!!! Book/ Dvd to get your hands on, author is Dr. Harvey Karp. The dvd for instant tips the book is more in depth!!! works WONDERS!!! goes step by step and easy to remember! hope that it helps as much as it has for my family and the families of my friends'. Works with children from right around 12 months until they can communicate better on their own. I'm sure it's probably very inexpensive to buy from amazon.com, if you buy your copies you can share your knowledge after you get it! Another great book for when you have a newborn again ... ( if it happens) The Happiest Baby on the Block same author another fantastic book/ dvd to have in your library!!! I wished I had had it for my first baby! and now I share with EVERYONE!!!

Without a doubt, add ASL signs to your day. Use an instructor at http://www.sign2me.com if you choose classes. His goal is not to upset you. He is just trying to figure out how to communicate and BE, not be "bad."

The tantrums are mostly normal- my 3-1/2 year old has them but let me tell you about it. My son started around 2 years old. He couldn't speak very well and understanding was nearly impossible. Yes he was social but still there was something wrong. We went to a therapist to see if he was autistic. She said she did not feel comfortable enough to say he was. However, she pointed us to a wonderful solution. There is a governmental agency in Arizona where I live that helps children under 3 years old. At our home, we had three therapists that came by to work with him while I watched and learned. THe three are: Speech, developmental, and Occupational. After just 2 weeks he was communicating more, the tantrums were lessened and understanding was on its way. Check in your state or call a therapist to find a program in your state. Trust me, when he can be taught to communicate things will get so much better. Also, one of the therapist gave me a couple of Signing Times DVDs. It teaches sign language in a fun way and believe it or not, it is the bridge between not speaking and speaking. Kids really warm up to these videos. Watch them yourself too so that you learn at the same time and use it to communicate. I hope that helped. I wish you the best!

My daughter started having tantrums at about the same age. It's probably out of frustration. At that age they know exactly wht they want but can't communicate. It has to be so maddening for them. Sounds like you have made a good desicion not to give your son attention.

I would calmly tell her that I would not listen to a tantrum and walk away from her and let her finish without talking to her (I would stay near so I could see if she was going to hurt herslef in any way). It took about a month for her to REALLY get it, but they did fizzle out.

Her attitude got so much better when she started talking more.

Sorry for the cliche...but this is probably a stage. Hang in there!

This is interesting for me to read about, b/c my daughter is the exact same age and started with the tantrums lately too. I have a baby signing book and I guess started too late but I am doing it now. it's hard to know if it's catching on yet. But other things I do are to distract her out of her tantrum ... going outside to look at the birdies helps, putting her in a wagon like thing and pulling her around the house makes her smile. You know what your son likes. I also use the playpen as a timeout area and will put her in there and let her thrash around until she calms down. And also, putting on cartoons or other kid show / DVD helps to distract her when I'm desperate.

I have to say also, I took her to my chiropractor who does a lot of energy work and he worked on her and she calmed down considerably and the tantrums lessened. If you want his number, let me know. And also, this could be teething. I think the bigger teeth are coming in now which isn't pleasant.

Welcome to the "terrible two's". I was surprised when my pediatrician told me they usually start in the second year, not when you kid turns two. Even though it is probably just normal terrible two's, what you are doing (remaining calm and not reacting) is a good way to go (I am a mom of 6, and have had three kids who have been speech delayed).

I think another thing that was helpful for me to remember was that even when they have speech issues, they can continue to understand. Although keep sentences short and not many at the same time. The rule of thumb I use is that a kid understands sentences that are no more than one word longer than the sentences they use.

If you notice that he has regressed (lost words that he use to have) or he stops talking, definitely tell your pediatrician. Also you can contact AzEIP for any child under the age of three who has developmental delays or a diagnosis such as Epilepsy, Cerebral Palsy, autism, etc. The number is ###-###-#### or look them up on line (Arizona Early Intervention Program).

It could be a "phase" as well, go with your guts and then give yourself a dead line, especially if you decide to "wait it out", like 5 months. But don't let it continue to go un-treated if you continue to feel concerned about it.
Good luck,
K.

Hi E.. I have a fourteen month old boy too and he has just started doing the same thing. I am trying to tell myself that this is a stage and that it will get better as he learns to communicate. I think you are doing a great job by not giving him the attention either way because that will make it worse. I used to teach before I became a SAHM so I have worked with lots of kids, well behaved and not so much. I think you should give him a lot of praise and attention when he is behaving well. Also, I find that my son acts up more when I'm doing something else like talking on the phone or if I'm on the computer because he wants me to be right there playing with him. Make sure to spend a lot of time interacting with him and save tv, phone, and computer for when he's napping or deep in play. I have also found baby signs to be helpful. My son can communicate a lot of basic needs such as more, all done, milk, water, etc. so this solves a lot of those issues. You may need to evaluate each situation. Maybe he is just hungry, tired, or bored. He may need a new toy to play with or just a nap. This is a hard stage but from what I understand, all kids go through it. Good luck!

Hi E.,

I have a 15 month old girl who is throwing temper tantrums also. This is not my first rodeo - I have 3 other children. It is my rule that temper tantrums take place in their crib. As soon as it starts, I pick her up and bring her to her crib, which is not always easy - that is why it is important to do it immediately at the onset of the tantrum - as you know it only get worse from there. I put her in her crib as safely as possible and then let her go to it. I walk out of the room and pull the door closed (not tightly closed) and wait outside the door until she is finished. At first it took a little longer. A times it went for 10-15 minutes. As time goes on, the tantrums seem to get shorter. My 2 year old stops as soon as I head to pick her up. She knows what is coming and is able to control herself. Most important is consistency. You have to do this every time. If out in public - head for the car. Strap him in, start the car, and stand outside the car facing the other direction (peaking in for safety every few seconds). Many times, your reactions will feed the tantrum. If you remain calm and consistent, it lets your son know that the behavior is unacceptable and he will be safe. I hope this helps. God bless you and your family.

Wow! you described my daughter when she was this age. This is what we did and it worked! 1st when she was about to throw a tantrum we made sure she was in a safe place and walked away to somewhere we could keep an eye on her and let her have them as long as she did not hurt herself. We found that a lot of her tantrums came from not being understood so we used Sign with your baby by Dr. Joseph Garcia. SHe took to signing right away and the tantrums for the most part stopped. She was just extremely frustrated that she could not tell us what she needed/wanted. SHe is 2 and 1/2 now and talks up a storm but still uses some signs at times. Good Luck and I hope this advice helps.

Teach him baby signs until he learn to talk better