Hi S.,
Getting the news that your kiddo has food allergies is very overwhelming, as everyone eats food, several times a day, and the reactions can be so severe. Good for you for choosing food elimination and continuing to nurse your daughter. It is a huge sacrifice on your part. Be very careful to eat enough calories to keep up your milk supply. It helped me when my husband suggested I think of it as an adventure and trip to a foreign country where I'd have to try all new foods. :) My son, now 22 months, is allergic to dairy and egg.
I don't have older kids in the house, but we have to deal with it every time we visit with friends and especially their kids. The biggest thing I'd caution against is food that can crumb onto the floor, like corn bread (that has eggs), scrambled eggs, grated cheese, etc. My son is allergic on contact, so sweeping the floor thoroughly doesn't do much - I have to mop, too, and sometimes you just can't be fast enough. I would definitely not allow kids coming to visit to have the offending foods in my house - they just don't understand, and their parents, however well meaning, aren't thorough enough in making sure the kid doesn't walk around with offending food or wash hands.
I've heard great things about almond butter, but it would still be wise to have son wash hands thoroughly, as nuts of any kind aren't recommended because of reaction until a year. A wonderful cheese substitute is Manchego cheese, which is made of sheep's milk, and has none of the offending cow's milk proteins. Costco carries it, but check the particular brand they carry, as one brand has egg in it. Whole foods has an excellent one, El Trigal Manchego. It is a hard, mild, white cheese. You should be able to eat it, too! Whole foods also has a water buffalo yogurt that is yummy.
Washing hands is just going to be part of your life. Have wipes on hand at all times, to wipe down the table at restaurants, wipe daughter's hands that stray to pick up food off your plate, etc.
If you did the skin testing, I'd recommend you get another test, as there is a 50-70% chance of a false positive, and I was told to eliminate 6 big things after the first test, but a second test later confirmed he was allergic only to two items, and reintroduction of food in my diet and exposure to items, confirmed the second test results and confirmed the fact that there were four false positives in the first.
If you haven't found a La Leche League group yet(www.llli.org - look under resources, find a group or find a leader), I highly recommend you check out their website and find one close to you, as you will probably find another mom who has dealt with food allergy in her family, and the leaders have information to assist with solid food introduction and reassurance if your child holds off on solids for a longer time. My son and several kids with food allergies tend to nurse exclusively and be more picky with solids for a longer time. My son wouldn't even try food until 8 months. He then didn't eat food several times a day on a regular basis until 14 months. So, the nursing journey *may* be very different than what you experienced with your first. Learning that your child is doing what is best for her at her own pace is reassuring. I say *may* and mention this just because every kid is different.
If you want more information or just want to connect with someone, please feel free to email me and I can give you my phone number. It can feel very lonely having to worry every day about what your kids are eating, and watching other mothers feed their kids anything and everything. It does become part of your life and you adjust, but it is hard, especially in the beginning.
Good luck,
H.