Om Is It Nothing?

M.:

If you have doubts - confront him. You are doing yourself no service by hanging on to this.

If you are checking his cell phone records, you aren't trusting him.

I don't know why you are STILL thinking over this. If your radar is pinging - then confront him. If you don't trust him - hire someone to track him to see what he is doing - if you don't feel that he will be honest with you about it.

I personally think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill and asking for trouble. If you keep pushing it - you may just push him away. If you think you have a strong marriage - then confront him and get it over with.

If the wife of every man I work with worried when we travel together, then I would have already broken up about 20 marriages. What I mean is that it's no big deal if your husband catches a ride to the airport with either a male or female coworker. They're not having an affair in the limo, y'know?

And, it's not a big deal if he has dinner with her while on travel. He's got no one else to eat with, right?

What IS a big deal is if your internal alarm is going off. If you worry all the time about your husband cheating with all sorts of different women, then maybe this is something YOU need to deal with. But if you don't worry all the time, and this one circumstance bothers you... then maybe you've got something to worry about. Trust your instincts.

No one can really answer this but you and your husband. You know him best and only you know the state of your own marriage. If things are going awesome with you two then perhaps it's nothing or he just thinks she's cute and feels guilty. If your personal life is lagging then I dunno - perhaps your suspicions could be founded. Either way you will never really know unless he tells you. Maybe approach the topic from a totally different angle (not bringing her up at all) and ask him if there is anything more he wants or needs from the marriage. Ask him if he's happy and satisfied and let him know that's your goal. Of course if he's a two-timing, narcissistic sociopath this will have no effect on him whatsoever. So I guess what you have to ask yourself is "is the marriage solid or can I do more?" and "Am I married to a normal dude or a narcissist?" So sorry in retrospect this post is probably worthless and not the least helpful. Good luck and don't worry yourself sick!

My guess is that you've shown him you are a tad bit insecure --asking questions about her and about whether he thinks she is attractive. He might enjoy the fact that you worry...boost to the ego. But, as time as gone on he feels guilty that you feel this way. I bet he didn't say anything about picking her up because he did feel guilty that it would make you question it and he felt nervous about it. Then once it was over with, he felt comfortable to tell you about it and be able to say with confidence nothing happened.

I get that all of his actions are under a microscope. That's what we women do. Over analyze everything. If he is nervous about her name because YOU seem to question everything (not that he really has anything to be nervous or guilty about) he is probably wanting to shift the subject (yawning) or end the call.

You guys need to plan a weekend away or a good intimate date night when he gets back. It sounds like you need to reconnect with each other.

Then if you feel the need, look into couple's counseling. Best of luck to you!!

After reading your entire post...I'd say that in your GUT, you do feel that it's nothing.
Always listen to your gut.
Repeatedly addressing this topic is giving it power and fuel.
You don't want to be that woman that pushes her husband into an affair, do you? Some men think "well she thinks I am, I might as well do it."
Stop talking about it.
Be observant, of course, but go with your gut.