I was one who caught a nurse on a bad day, I guess. I delivered my first daughter at Olathe. I had one delivery nurse who I had a problem with, but I was only there about an hour before my daughter was born, so it wasn't a big deal, also, I had a doula. I think I would have thought it was much worse if I did not have a doula. They wanted to put me on an IV because of my swollen legs, they thought I had high blood pressure (my doula got them to check first, and no, I did not have high blood pressure, I always had swollen legs and feet) and I went from a 6 to a 10 so quickly (in about 10 minutes, maybe less) and they wouldn't come in for me to push because they said that I couldn't be ready yet, but I was. I also did not have a good experience with the lactation consultant and feel that really changed my breastfeeding experience with my first. I did have a great nurse later who was very helpful and much more helpful about breastfeeding than the lactation consultant. All of this being said, I am having my third child there again (number two was when we lived in Topeka and we had her at the birth center). I definitely liked the set up of the rooms and not being moved about. I liked that my baby was not taken away from me at all unless I okayed it. I liked having the big bed, not only for my husband (because with three kids, he'll be sleeping at home with the other two), but to spread out trying to breastfeed and to hold the baby with some space. I highly recommend hiring a doula, if you can. Some insurance and many flex spending accounts cover it. They are a great go-between so your husband can be with you and they can go get the nurse and talk to her about what you want and need when it's hard to, and they do this regularly, so they know how to talk to nurses and what is normal. If not, maybe you could have a friend, sister, or mother do this job so you have a helper and a go-between. Also, as far as the problems you had, first of all I tore both times, but not significantly. I would look into evening primrose oil, you take it the last month (orally and/or as a suppository) and perennial stretches, and remember in almost all cases, the tear is better than an epesiotomy. Also, the less interventions you have the shorter the recovery time, so you might look at what you want in a birth. I loved my natural birth and will strive for that again, but if you don't feel like going there, can you survive with limited pain medication instead of an epidural? Talk to your doctor about what ALL your options are and the risks of each one. You might find a way to make your birth better on your own!
I hope some of what I said will help you. I hope you have the birth you desire. Enjoy number 2!
K.