Aww.....I feel for you! Although I was lucky enough to have healthy babies, with my first, I vomited so much that I lost 15 lbs through the first two trimesters. The dr told me one morning, "If you don't gain at least a 1/2lb by next week, I'm putting you in the hospital." Fortunately, I did gain a 1/2 lb.
I distinctly remember one day, for about 15 minutes, I was not nauseous, and I freaked, thinking that something had happened to the baby! I actually called the dr! But the "helpful" guys at work brought in some sausage biscuits (because they knew smells made me sick), and I was back to throwing up.
If you really want to hear some of the more lovely symptoms so you'll know you're not alone.......I had gallstones that gave me incredible abdominal pain, but was told there was nothing they could do 'til after baby was born. I'd always struggled with depression, but refused to take meds while pregnant, so that was a factor, too, but the PIH and swollen legs/feet bothered me more.
You said, "I feel like no matter what i do or how much i try to be strong and have a pleasant pregnancy something always comes up and i feel so sick and distraught."
I'm so sorry you feel so bad, but it's not your fault, and has nothing to do with "being strong"! I remember having to leave a function at work to go and throw up, and my boss said, "You know, it's people who don't really want their babies that get sick while pregnant." She was serious. I cried, because never was a child wanted more. I had tried for years, used Clomid, blah blah blah......... but all of those hormones that make us so emotional and miserable while pregnant actually had me giving credence to the witch of a boss.
Please, don't let someone or something like that old wives' tale get to you! Just get through as best you can, be kind to yourself, get others to wait on you (While you can! lol), and know that your distraught feelings are not uncommon. If it helps, I remember telling myself that while the babe was inside of me, my body was having to do all the hard work. Once she or he was born, I knew I'd no longer have an excuse to rest.
Hang in there, congrats on your pregnancy, and may it go more smoothly for you. Hugs.