Not as Tough at Night

I am so sorry that he did that to you.
Tomorrow talk to your OBGYN and tell them what is going on and ask for help.
You need to find a way to relax and rest because this stress is so bad for your baby. You don't want to have a miscarriage.

I know that this is easier said than done but don't think about your husband, focus only on your children and your baby.
Worry about him after you have the baby.

If you can, take your children and go be with family right now. You will need as much support as you can get right now.

God Bless you, your baby and your children.

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Breath In and Breath out, think about your beautiful little baby. Relax.
You can do this. This pain that you are in will not last forever. You baby is so important to you. Just Breath.
Know that the Lord gave you this baby to love and care for. Just breath and relax.
Think only of your little baby inside of you that needs you.

Send me a personal message if you need a shoulder to cry on.

This is normal considering what you've been through. That doesn't make it any easier, sorry.

If you are separated or newly divorced, a good resource is:
divorcecare.org.

They have recovery groups, books and a daily email which I found helpful as I went through the process. Some of the women in my divorcecare support group have become good friends. We met weekly for the 13 week video series, and have continued to get together socially since then. We were all pretty bad off at first. It seemed like we just took turns crying at the meetings. But just having other women there who understood what I was going through was priceless. The video lessons were great, too, very comforting with some practical advice on finances and such.

There are groups in the Tuscon area where you live. One group has classes for children to go along with the adult group. If you go to the website, just plug in your zip code to find them. In our area, you could start anytime during the 13 week session and continue til they started again with lesson 1.

get some antidepressants and some melatonin also excercise in the day will help you sleep at night. quit punishing yourself for what your husband did. he will justify himself and blame you but in reality it was him that did it and not you. hang in there it will get better

I urge you to talk with your doctor. There may be an anti-depressant you can take since you're this far along. Also get started with a counselor. You'll probably be surprised how much it helps to have someone that you can talk to who has the skill to really listen.

I also agree to have someone help you with daily life. Confide in a friend who could come over from time to time to be with your or to give you a break by entertaining the children. Or, perhaps go and stay with your parents if they'll be supportive.

In the "old" days, family was very helpful in situations like this. My mother stayed with a sister when she and Dad were at odds and had a new baby. The rest of us kids stayed with a different sister. It was painful but a relief to be with my aunt and in a secure environment.

Most of all, know that it will get better. You're grieving; that's good. There will come a point when you'll run out of tears and be ready to take action. Be easy on yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. At the same time, take charge of some aspects of your life. Get out. Take walks. Spend time with friends. Especially, spend time with friends who are supportive. Also, find a counselor who can help you grieve while giving you hope.

Is there a friend or relative that can come and stay with you? Can you go to a friends or with family to stay for a while?

Stop wondering why. It was his bad selfish choice. Obviously not very mature and totally self centered.

Also do speak with your doctor about what is going on and find a counselor you can speak with.. This will allow you to start a relationship with, because I promise, it will be tough for a while so you will want to be able to have someone listen and help you make decisions that are good for you,.

I will be sending you good thoughts. You are not alone.

I just wanted to say that I'm so so sorry you are going through this. I agree w/ everyone who suggested you tell your OBGYN and find a counselor.
I really liked what Nancy W. had to say also! That sounds like a really positive direction to go in.
Just wanted to let you know someone in Massachusetts is praying for you, and I suspect many others, as well.

Call a friend of relative/your parent... and have them come over and stay with you.
To serve as company and to help with your kids.

Girl!! I am sooo sorry!! I've seen your other posts and commented on them!

Call your OB RIGHT NOW!! While you are reading this - PICK UP THE PHONE AND DIAL YOUR OB!!! NOW!!!!

You need to be able to get sleep and YOU MUST BE ABLE TO RELAX!!!!

I'm terribly sorry you are going through so much right now. When my husband was overseas I took Benedryl to help me sleep since I was the only adult in the house and couldn't take anything stronger. Ask your doctor about safe meds for sleep and depression (not sure there are any safe antidepressants) during this time. Another technique that has worked well for me (I often can't stop the brain from overdrive at night) is to put up a stop sign in your head. Now that works great just like that for some people but I have to go several steps further. I need to first paint my mind black with a paintbrush to shut out all the thoughts. I generally do this for several minutes until the mind quiets. Then I can draw and paint the stop sign in my mind. Generally, I am able to sleep after this.

I agree with others, you need some physical support at this time. Do you have family or friends who can help? Do not feel ashamed to ask for help right now. Good luck.

Wow, I am sorry to hear this. We all are. All I can say is that it isn't your fault!
You have several things your going through. First- your husband cheated on you. That is a BIG DEAL! So you are having to go through those emotions, in addition on how you will handle all this in the future. What your options will be.
Your hormones are really at it right now just being pregnant, and lack of sleep.
You also have other children to care for. Who is caring for mom right now? Nobody. All I can say is you really do have alot to deal with and you need to get yourself some type of emotional support. Please look into a pyschologist who specializes in postpartum depression. A wise woman realizes she needs help and allows the help being offered or asks for it.
I as a postpartum doula & newborn care specialist. I am available to you if you choose to have me come into your home to help. Visit my site Adoulaonthego.com. I also have a youtube video on the benefits of a postpartum doula and baby nurse to help out after coming home from the hospital. Get the help that is available to you! V. Y.

Updated

Wow, I am sorry to hear this. We all are. All I can say is that it isn't your fault!
You have several things your going through. First- your husband cheated on you. That is a BIG DEAL! So you are having to go through those emotions, in addition on how you will handle all this in the future. What your options will be.
Your hormones are really at it right now just being pregnant, and lack of sleep.
You also have other children to care for. Who is caring for mom right now? Nobody. All I can say is you really do have alot to deal with and you need to get yourself some type of emotional support. Please look into a pyschologist who specializes in postpartum depression. A wise woman realizes she needs help and allows the help being offered or asks for it.
I as a postpartum doula & newborn care specialist. I am available to you if you choose to have me come into your home to help. Visit my site Adoulaonthego.com. I also have a youtube video on the benefits of a postpartum doula and baby nurse to help out after coming home from the hospital. Get the help that is available to you! V. Y.

Obviously, you need to make yourself the priority at this time. Your husband did not 'do this to you or your kids.' There must have been some problems within your marriage for him to feel like he needed to go to someone else for intimacy. You can't control what other people do. The cheating was his responsibility and you'll have to decide whether you feel like you still want to be a part of an intimate relationship with him. Crying is therapeutic and at some point, it's time to stop feeling like a victim and get into a space of confidence...Get some space in between you and he, enjoy your kids and who you are before you make any decisions. If you decide to stay, you may want some marriage counseling to figure out how to move on and not bring it into other situations in the future. If you decide to leave, make choices without harboring any ill feelings about the matter. Easier said then done, it hurts to feel like someone was dishonest and didn't respect or think of your feelings....Sorry.

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time right now. The stress is not good for you, the kids or the baby. Don't forget all this is just temporary. Life will come to a new normal before you know it. Do you go to a church? They can be a great source of support. I have know people who started attending church when they were going through tough times and they really found it to be a blessing. It's great for the kids too. Stability and support are what you and your kids need right now. If anything it will give you an hour of time to yourself to regroup (I'm assuming the kids will go to their repsective class during the service). I'm in the Phoenix are so I don't know any churches in Tucson but it's worth checking into. Good luck.