Normal Mommy Blues or Postpartum Depression

You need some therapy. Sounds like you do have PPD and therapy is the BEST thing - talk, talk , talk and get it out.

And don't shy away from meds. They will also help you to feel better.

Stay strong.

I'm sorry you're going through with this. I would make an appt. with your physician immediately and tell him/her what you are going through. I think you may need a prescription to help you over this hump; I did and there is absolutely no shame in that. Reach out and get some help, ok?

My opinion: It's PPD. Normal 'baby blues' would have been over by now...it is not normal to still have these feelings or start having these feelings at 4 months. Please talk with your doctor and do NOT be ashamed, this is a chemical issue, hormones gone crazy and not something you can control or are doing on purpose!!

Call your doctor and make an appointment ASAP!!!!

Wow, you have a lot on your plate. I'm so sorry things are so tough right now. PPD can appear up to a year after the birth of a baby, so it could easily be this. Please see your doctor- meds could help if it is PPD and could really make you feel better. My sister had PPD and meds were a huge saving grace for her, she wishes she hadn't waited so long to start. You were brave to reach out here, please reach out again to your doc for help. They may have other resources to help as well. Stay strong and God bless.

Exhaustion can make just about anything worse, including PPD. Depression unrelated to pregnancy is also fairly common in single parents. It's not Baby Blues, 4-months in.

I would absolutely talk to your OB about what you're feeling. And please don't worry that s/he will judge you. I fluctuated between feeling that what I was going through was just Baby Blues and feeling that having a child had been a mistake. I didn't consider PPD, for whatever reason. When my husband finally insisted that I talk to my OB, she listened without judgement. She had heard it all before. She didn't make any accusations, and was very sympathetic. My pediatrician was also wonderful, giving me a big hug and telling me that admitting that babies can be a pain in the butt did not diminish my love at all. Your OB should be able to tell you whether this is exhaustion, PPD, or depression in another form, and also recommend a good therapist (s/he may also prescribe some anti-depressants). The urge to run away from it all should be gone by now, so I do suspect something chemical is going on. Please don't be ashamed to discuss this with your doctor.

Best of luck to you getting through this difficult time. You aren't alone!

No, I don't think this is just baby blues. I do think you should call your Dr. So many thousands and millions of woman have gone through PPD. This is not uncommon, or something you should ever feel shame over. It's a part of the process, that sometimes you just can't avoid. You r Dr. will have so many resources for you. They likely see patients every day who have PPD. Not all of them are brave enough or able to recognize the signs, so bravo to you. Good luck!!

Call your doctor, take care of yourself. They may know of resources that you can get to help you that you aren't aware of as well, beyond the medical.

Hugs to you!

personally I think everything you are feeling is normal.....I probably feel that way though because I had the same feelings and you are not alone. My kids are now 20 and 13....I never had counseling, I never took anxiety or anti depressant medication for it...

Being a mom is different than not being a mom....you shouldn't feel like the person you were, because you are not that person anymore....this is your new life. It's hard....but it's also the most rewarding thing you will EVER do in your life. I think the first time I actually got to sleep in.....my son was 8! So yes...you will be tired for a while....but like in Finding Nemo...."just keep swimming"

Court proceedings are probably what is giving you the most stress because child support/custody systems are the absolute most frustrating thing on Earth! and EASILY give you that feeling of "is this even worth it"....get out of that system as soon as you can! My ex and I ended up coming to an agreement when our son was about 14 and pulled right out of Friend of the Court and did it ourselves and although we don't see eye to eye on much....it really simplified our lives and removed alot of stress.

I also understand feeling guilty for sending him to daycare. I've found throughout the years that I felt like I wanted to be at home while I was at work...but then I'd get home and would want to be at work....so i get what you are saying...but don't beat yourself up too much....I think that is all normal.

Simplify your life as much as possible....write everything down so that you aren't scrambling...do simple things like chop onions ahead of time and leave them in a container in the fridge....set clothes out the night before, pack your sons bag the night before...and remember to take time for yourself!

Every mother has a point at the beginning where the reality of the situation sinks in and sheer panic takes over. No one thinks their lives are going to change as dramatically as it does when a child is brought into the picture. You are an individual one day and a mother the next. Your wants and needs will never be first again and for some - that is not a reality they are willing to accept easily. First, if you believe you have symptoms of PPD, I would speak to a doctor immediately before you become a danger to yourself and your baby. The last thing you want to do is lose your cool and do something you will regret - there have been a lot of Shaken Baby Syndrome stories that could have been prevented if the mother sought help when she knew things were not right. A doctor will be able to tell you if this is depression or PPD. If it is PPD, they will give you medication that will help with the highs and the lows. If it is depression, they will either advise you to seek counseling or join a peer support group.

Being a mother is one of the hardest and most demanding jobs a woman can take on - being a single mother - I bow down to you. You are the caretaker and the financial support, you are the mother and the father, and worst of all - you won't get a break because there is no one to step in and tag you out. Give your friends and family some credit, they may not be able to walk a mile in your shoes but I guarantee they can reach out and touch someone going through the same situation. They may just want to be more of a support system for you than offer a pity party.

I don't care what anyone else in your life says - feeling overwhelmed, angry, depressed, frustrated, and all of the above is normal for being a first time mom. You haven't done this before and you don't know what is around every corner. As I have told many people - there is nothing wrong with putting your baby in his crib and walking away for 5-10 minutes to clear your head. Go to a place where you can't hear him (sit in your car, go in the bathroom, wherever) and take a deep breath, cry if it helps, or just scream at the top of your lungs. Anyone who says they haven't done that or haven't wanted to do that in the first year of being a mother is lying or a better woman than me.

As for the window to experience PPD - most women suffer from baby blues during the first 2 weeks postpartum; however, many factors (several of which described - poor support from partner, high stress,, etc) can trigger an hormone imbalance that can cause postpartum depression up to several months after the child is born - meaning - you are still a likely candidate for PPD.

Before you decide you have PPD and start on a bunch of drugs that you could be further affected by, allow yourself to fully recover from birthing first. Your body has to get back to pre pregnancy status. At least allow that. Because right now your hormones are probably still in another galaxy and could be the reason you're going through this.
I understand and empathize with you on the situation with the dad. Chalk it up to your advantage that he's an irresponsible jerk. You had the baby, you should be able to hold your head up and give yourself credit that despite the odds, you gave life to this sweetie. Despite knowing it wasn't going to be easy.
What I would suggest is finding a group of moms like yourself that you could get together with, maybe find ideas and support as to making it better for yourself and your emotions.
Sure our lives get turned upside down when we become moms. I was married and still felt like a single mom because I did take care of them mostly. Finances are one thing, but being there for them, taking them to competitions, encouraging them, drying their tears....yeah I felt like a single mom. And I felt resentment. Not towards the kids, but towards my late husband. And my kids aren't perfect, but they've turned into pretty darn good men. And others have even told me that if it hadn't been for my influence in their lives, they would've turned into self centered guys, like their dad.
Give yourself some credit and realize you can do this. You'll be a role model, someone to look up to. Not all parents can claim that.

I thought they were the same thing.
Personally I think being sleep deprived has a lot to do with it.
And sleep deprivation with a young child can go on for quite awhile on into the toddler years.
When my son was 1 1/2 yrs old I was having a check-up with my Dr.
I told her how tired I was and I wasn't enjoying anything.
She jokingly told me I needed to get more organized.
Well, I almost bit her head off.
I gave her a run down of a typical day for me from 4am through 10pm in 15 minute increments and asked her how the heck I could get MORE organized when every bleeping minute was ALREADY organized.

She put me on Zocor for 6 months and it really helped me a lot.
In 2 weeks it felt like the hair on the back of my neck could stop standing on end all the time.
I learned to prioritize and I let some things go - I wasn't going to obsess over trying to have a spotless house.
I just was too caught up in trying to be Super Mom and I could not see it while I was in it.
Talk with your doctor about it and see what they say.

Sometimes you need to take a sick day off work and take child to day care and then go home and sleep until it's time to pick him up at day care at the end of the day.

The funny thing about all this?
In 18 or so years when your child is going off to college, you'll suffer Empty Nest Syndrome and wonder who you are if you are not actively parenting all the time.
Mom's face major adjustments when kids come into our lives and when they grow up and leave, too.