No Sex Drive Post Partum???

Hi J.,
I was also the same way after my second little boy... I saw my OBGYN. She gave me a hormone cream but it didn't really work.

I am not sure about your beliefs and don’t' want to offend, but have you considered watching an adult movie together. Also (not to be too personal) but the KY Yours+Mine is very cool and takes things to an interesting new level.

And sometimes (also personal) when I knew he was overly interested… I would just take one for the team. I guess I was just thankful and complemented that he was still so very attracted to me and I just wanted to make him happy :-) I sometimes had to tell myself that it really wasn’t all about me and my drive, I had just had a baby and he had waited a LONG time.

Good Luck! I know that this is a tough subject.
E.

J.,

Really very normal. The breastfeeding can cause some dryness, but I think the usual problem is more to do with lack of sleep, your body still not belonging to you, lack of free time to do things that make you feel attractive etc. So first I would suggest getting some time for yourself - go get a pedicure, or your hair colored if those things make you happy, or go for a walk or a run etc. Something just for you. A glass of wine won't hurt you or the baby either and can go a long way toward relaxing you and taking some of the stress out of a moment. Finally, I do agree sometimes you do just need to take one for the team. Sometimes just getting into it is enough to put you back into the mood. Maybe let your husband know you could use a little extra affection even before the foreplay starts (and there had better be foreplay)!

This too will pass I promise. Making a child, and then taking care of a child is a huge adjustment in a couples life - maybe most especially for a woman. Don't beat yourself up about it and keep talking to your spouse.

Erika made some very good points.

It is not unusual for this post partum. However, your hubby needs you....

Try the movies, go to an "adult" store.... There are several in the area that are nice.... Candie Dandies (75/15th in Plano), Sara's Secret (Frisco as well as Plano)

Hang in there, you'll get it back.

J.,

This is normal. You have a clingy little creature attached to you. Your hormones are out of balance and your touch quotient is used up.

Be patient with leach other, take care of yourself, get enough sleep, and one day, your sex drive will come roaring back, bigger than ever and it will be second honeymoon time.

For me, the repulsion to sex took about a year. It was not until the boys were quite independent that we reached the second honeymoon phase.

Jen

I think what you're going through is very normal -- even for non-nursing moms. With the nursing, it kinda dries you up. My ob suggested finding a good lubricant. Also, a friend of mine suggested this book -- http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Naughty-Mommy-Found-Lib.... it was actually a book selection for her church mom's group and was well received by the moms there as well. I've read some and thought it was really good. There's even a chapter for the husbands.

I think things will come round, give yourself time. You've been through a lot both emotionally and physically. I think Drs, etc want to treat the physical changes, but the emotional ones are what really set you back I think. Start slow and you'll get there.

I am having the same problem you are not alone. My youngest is 4.5 months but my other one is only 15 months so it has been a long time since I had a normal sex drive. i am interested to see what suggestions you get.

I have had this problem too. My son is 8 months old and still nursed, and I still kind of struggle with it. It has gotten better lately, so I am hoping it will continue!