Night Times Getting Worse

Hi F., I'm a mother of twin girls too, but they are 2 years old. Although my girls have typically been great sleepers, we have been though some short periods of time that we had sleep difficulties. I believe there is no magic formula, mostly trial and error. Crying it out worked for us, and yes, we did deal with them waking each other up at times. Overall, they learned quickly to sleep through each others sleep problems, but there were times we would end up with both awake, crying. My girls didn't completely sleep through the night until they were around 10 months. I would stay away from too many meds, they can sometimes have the opposite effect. I agree with one "poster" who mentioned having them checked by their PED just to make sure nothing else is going on (unless they are totally fine during the day). I think babies learn so very quickly what to do to get mom and dad to come to them, hold them, etc. I would ask you- how long did you let them cry? I would allow them to go 45 minutes if you can.... I know it is so hard, see if your husband can support you in allowing them to try to get themselves back off to sleep. Sometimes I needed someone to hold my hand and just say "give them 5 more minutes" and often that was the trick. My girls never cried more that one or two nights in a row in the 4-5 times we have had sleep disturbances. Make sure you have a nightlight on, and if they have a special "lovey" (blanket, paci, doll/stuffed animal)- make sure they have it. A paci and their special blankets were a godsend from about age 8 months on. They still use them to sleep. Best of luck- I know you feel "beat" but know it will get better if you persevere! F.

Your twins sound like my baby. Up every two hours after maybe a three hour stretch first thing. This has been going on since she started teething nine months ago. I've tried everything you've mentioned too, but it still continues. Luckily, mine usually goes right back to sleep after nursing. I'm still tired all the time so I can only imagine how you feel with twins.

Your babies are probably looking for comfort when they're waking. Have you tried co-sleeping? With two, I'm thinking just put a mattress on the nursery floor and see if they'll sleep better beside you. You may be able to get more sleep that way and at least feel functional.

Another thing you could try would be to separate the two so that one doesn't always wake the other up.

I wish I had the magic solution for you, but I don't. Both my babies have not been good sleepers and I'm always amazed at those who are.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. My first baby was a horrible sleeper (waking 10 times per night). He started sleeping through the night (12 hours) by age 2 1/2 and now a train could run through his room and he wouldn't wake up.

Hi, F.,

Boy, am I feeling for you! I was 33 when my twins were born -- they are now five years old, if that's any encouragement about surviving this :) All I can really give you is moral support -- I think the sleeping thing is just really hard! It sounds like you've probably tried most everything I could suggest, but just in case, here are a few thoughts from our experience.

1. Extra food: Around the age of your girls, we had to start feeding our kids extra food before bed. I guess we had been doing a 7-11-3-7 type feeding schedule with three meals and just nursing at 3. Suddenly, they started waking up hungry. We ended up feeding them what seemed like basically two suppers at night a couple of hours apart, instead of just one at 7. I don't know if it was growth spurt, or them getting fewer calories when trying to feed themselves or what, but it made a huge difference when we figured that out. I don't see how this would explain the getting up 7-8 times throughout the night, but it might be a start.

2. Regarding crying it out/sleep training/etc.: If you are not familiar with Richard Ferber's book on sleep, you might want to check it out. I do believe that "crying it out" or similar methods are not for every parent or every child, but Ferber worked extremely well for us and our twins. (Some would defend him by saying it's not even a strict "cry it out" plan, but it does involve a lot of crying initially.) He gives a lot of explanation about sleeping habits that might be useful even if you choose to find another method. Notes about twins, however: We eventually had to put our twins in separate rooms because they did take turns crying and sleeping. We had a pack-n-play in our room for one to nap in for several months, but we were eventually able to put them back in the same room.

Good luck! Feel free to email me off-loop if you want to talk more. I love having twins, but it is definitely full of challenges! V. (____@____.com)

i feel for you - my "baby" is 19 months old and is still a horrible slepper, rarely sleeping a night. last night she woke me up around 5 times, i walk around in a daze most of the time and unfortunately because my husband "works" and i "dont" he doesnt help me in the night.

i dont have much advice, i have found crying it out does work, it is just so soul destroying for me that i cant seem to go through with it for more than a couple of nights, and with twins it would be awful.

i dont know if melatonin is safe for babies - but i have been starting to look into that - it helps a lot with sleep, and is a natural substance.
obviously they are not in pain coz the tylenol is not stopping them crying.

just keep trying different things - keep them up late late, so they are really tired, or if they sleep seperate try them together or vice versa - sorry i dont have too much advice, i have been struggling myself lol

One thing I know for sure is that the more this goes on, the more tired they are getting and the more their little bodies will fight sleep. You need to get "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to understand the mechanism of sleep. You might need to start them going to bed a LOT earlier before they get overtired. Be aware that tired in a baby or toddler doesn't look like tired in an older kid or adult. When my daughter was a baby, she sometimes went to bed at 6:00 - I am not kidding. It was what she needed and she slept better doing it. I don't have twins, so I can't speak to that, but this is out of control and you need to get them some rest. Good luck. GET THE BOOK!!! I swear it will help.

Wow, I can't imagine how tough that is with two. I wanted to let you know how we tried "cry it out" with my daughter - I don't know if it'd work the same with twins. We would have the same bed time routine then I'd lay her down and say the same thing "I love you. Night, night. Sleep tight. I'll see you in the morning light." Then leave. Whenever the crying starts wait 5 or 10 minutes (feels like FOREVER) then go back in make sure they have lovey, passy, etc.; lay them back down and say "I know you're upset, but it's time to go to sleep." Then leave again. Then every 15 minutes there after, go in and do the same thing over and over and over until they fall asleep. My daughter fell asleep after about 45 minutes the first night, but I'm sure it'd take longer with twins. I do comfort her more if I think she's hurting in some way, but if it's just "I want attention" crying, I've had to draw the line with how much I get up at night.

As far as sleep, we found that my husband (a night owl) will take care of her from bed time until 2 or 3, then I'll take care of her from then until morning. I work from home and have a flexable schedule, so this has worked out really well for us. I still wake up when she gets up before "my time" but I can at least stay in bed and get back to sleep quicker once he gets her settled back down.

Good luck!

Have you tried chiropractic adjustments? Since it sounds like you have tried everything that is the only thing I would recommend. Even babies with perfect habits, health and so on benefit from it but it would most likely solve your problem to get their little necks and spines adjusted. Look for a wellness based family chiro in your area that specializes in kids and families.

Dear F.:
Have F. my dear-lol! This too shall pass-I know I know it's the LAST thing you want to hear at this point. I am the mother of twin girls as well but they are now almost 7 years old and still alive and kicking so I must have done "something" right-lol!
It really sounds to me that their teething issue is what is causing all of this and unfortunately there isn't much you can do for it except for what you are already doing-motrin does tend to work better because it has the ibuprofen in it for inflamation-or swelling but I can't remember what age you are allowed to give that to them so ask your ped.
Also about the crying issue and them waking one another up-yes this happened to me too but not very often both of mine just eventually "adjusted" to being in the same room with one another and even to this day they wouldn't have it any other way. Now when they are older I am quite sure they will want their own space. I know other parents of twins though that HAD no choice but to seperate the twins in seperate rooms because they would wake each other up and it just worked better for them-so if you have that option you might want to try doing that and seeing if it helps. I don't really know what to suggest to you if you don't have that option to try. You better do it now though because if they get any older it might have the opposite affect. Also do you have any music -calming music that you play? I always did that with my girls from the very beginning and it really seemed to work-also I always preferred giving them a bath before bedtime because it just relaxes you and if you wash them with the lavendar or chamomile those have a relaxation effect to them as well. Also be careful of ear infections too these can cause major sleep changes too. What about nap time - how are they doing with that-just curious?

Hello F.. My son used to cry most of the night from teething until one of my church members told us about a teething gel called Hurricane(your would have to ask your pharmacist for it). Also ensure that you are laying your chidren down with a bottle, this is bad on the ears. Some ear aches are hard on them. Hope this information helps.

My son did the same for a long time (awfully long) and I was so exhausted I had to take a nap in the morning after I dropped him off at daycare...that helped me survive. I am against filling them up with medicines, but this is just my opinion. You are doing everything right, it's only normal they wake each other up and they can't sleep because of theething.
I think we've all become such consumers and used to "it's broken, let's fix it", that we can't deal to un-fixable things that require just patience and time. How did our great-grandmothers do, with less than we have now and with many more children? F., this is not directed to you, it's just me thinking out loud. As for your problem (which I TOTALLY understand!)I hope you work things out so you and your husband can take naps when you can, this nightmare will be soon over...it just takes some time. Growing hurts!
Best wishes for your little sweeties. S.

I agree with Valerie S. Ferber is a good method that worked for us. I was 34 when we had our first set of twins. Make sure they are on a daytime nap schedule & eat at the same times every day. Baby 411 is a great book for new parents. There's not really much for multiples, but the same principles can apply. We loved it! Good luck no matter what you do!

I know for my children the Tylenol makes them "not" sleep. So maybe try to limit the use on that. I also give my daughter Hylands (when teething) as she is going down for the night and if she wakes and seems like her teeth are what is bothering her I will give her another dose. Also, with the temp changing check what they are wearing . Are they to hot or cold? I added a humidifier to the room to keep the air moist (with the heat running now) and it works great. Maybe just try giving them a bath at night to begin your routine and see if that makes a difference. I know that it will help them feel relaxed and may help them sleep... :) I do feel your pain -- Hope you get some sleep soon! ~M.

HI F.,
Being sleep deprived is unbelievable.
With my son, the waking every 2-3 hours and then later the being up from 2-6 am was a milk intolerance. I took him off milk and he slept through the night from then on. Sounds easy, but all formulas are milk based. What my friends ped recommended for her milk intolerant 6 month old is almond milk with 1 tbsp cod liver oil added to each bottle. She would do a liquid multi-vit (but only start that 2-3 weeks after you change the milk because some of the iron in those will cause constipation - and you need to be able to evaluate one thing at a time). If they are getting good organic veggies in baby food, you should not need to worry about the multi-vit for awhile.
Take away all snacks that contain casein (milk protein). It is easy, it is just a thought process, you may notice you are feeding them alot of cheese, crackers with milk, cereal, etc.
It is not hard to see and measure. If you see improvement instead of miracles, that will point you toward potentially multiple food intolerances (the next ones being gluten and egg, peanut). Much longer discussion as to why so many children are gaining these food intolorances, but if your girls have them, doing the right thing for their immune will change your life and theirs.
J.

Maybe you should take them into the pediatrician, just to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with them. When my daughter woke like that at night, it was because she had an ear infection.