I need your advice! I have a two and a half year old that is crying out in the middle of the night. She is crying for 10 - 20 min. many hours after she has gone to bed. She is calling out Mommy, mommy!!! But when I go to her she seems to still be asleep. Her eyes are closed and she is crying. But then when I try to comfort her she kicks and hits at me. After a few minutes of this I do seem to be able to calm her down with a drink of water. Then she will go back to sleep....she might wake up one or two more times. Here are a few things you should know too...She has recently started a new day care that she has a tough time when I drop her off in the morning. She is crying but they say she only cries for 5-15 min. and then she is good the rest of the day. So, I don't know if that is some of the sleep problem. Another thing to put in the mix.......Almost three weeks ago we did stop the nuks. She only used them at nap and bed time. We talked about giving them to the babies at the daycare for weeks before we actually did. Once we did it she has not used her words to ask for the nuks back. She hasn't even said they are with the babies. Would it help or hurt to give the nuks back for sleeping at night? Any insight to this would be great! It is really tough to wake up night after night to a screaming/crying child that you can't seem to help. Thanks of your advice.
Read up on night terrors. My son had them for 14 years. He started at age 2 yrs, 3 months (27 months old)
Sounds like night terrors which is common at this age. I doubt that the nuks have anything to do with them and would not give them back. I also think that the crying at day care is unrelated to the crying at night.
A main difference between night terrors and bad dreams is that the child is not awake and does react negatively when someone tries to comfort them. It's best to let her cry and then be there when she does wake up. Sounds like you've found a way to help her calm down and get back to sleep. This is working and so continue with it. Just don't touch her until she's awake.
Just be reassured that night terrors are typical at this age and that it's a stage that passes. She is OK.
It sounds like she's OK with not having her nuks and crying briefly at daycare is also typical at this age. You are doing fine with her. Relax, knowing that this is a stage and will soon be gone.
Sounds like night terrors-- my son gets them smetimes and the WORST thing I can do is touch him, which of course is my FIRST instinct! I just sit close without touching and talk to him softly.....
I would call and get your pediatrician's advice before assuming they are night terrors. My daughter started having bad dreams at 3 yrs, and when i talked to our pediatrician about it he said that Night Terrors start shortly after the child falls asleep - not in the middle of the night. They are very, very extreme compared to nightmares. To me, what you described sound like nightmares which are extremely common in toddlers. And like all things, it's usually a phase that passes, or may come and go. But call your pediatrician for sure.
I agree with the others--sounds like night terrors. My son had them off and on for years, but he was older than the typical kid who gets them. Stress and fatigue can trigger them or make them worse so addressing any stress and making sure she gets enough sleep can make a big difference. You can't really comfort her during the terror--just be close by to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. She won't remember it in the morning.
I'd try various bedtime & middle of the night "tricks"first, such as a warm bath to relax her before bedtime, music to go to sleep with and that you can turn on in the middle of the night, giving her a favorite toy, blanket or stuffed animal to sleep with and take to daycare, reading before bedtime, healthy snack & milk before bedtime, rocking her before bedtime, etc. There are so many things you can try first. She may have trouble relaxing during sleep or be having temporary adjustment problems with daycare, etc.
How long has she been at the new daycare? When we changed our daycare provider when our son was almost 2.5, we had about a 4-5 week transition time where he would wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes two or three times a night and would be irrational and hard to calm down. It was definitely a result of the new routine and daycare environment as it started within two days of the new daycare and he had been a perfect sleeper prior to that. As he got more used to the new routine/teachers/kids, it wained and stopped all together at the five week mark.
this sounds like it might be night terrors
i am 27 years old and i had night terrors. my son is 3 and he occassionally has night terrors. and in 27 some years, it seems they know no more about it now than they did then. basically, your child is asleep, they wont remember anything about the incident, and usually there is no real way to make it stop or go away.
the only advice i have heard of is to make sure your child is safe, for your sake comfort them even if it doesnt seem to be working, and just have patience. its hard when they wake you up screaming, but theres not a whole lot you can do.
some research seems to say that kids usually have night terrors within a few hours of going to sleep. you can try to avoid them by waking your child to go to the bathroom or get a drink a short time (15 minutes or so) before you think shes going to have a terror.
with my son, i started to think after a while that he was waking up because he had to go to the bathroom, but he didnt really know that the feeling he had was the need to go, and he didnt know what to do about it. this doesnt work every time, but sometimes he really just had to pee, and taking him helped him relax again. so you could try that too.
good luck. it might be easier for you if she was in your room for a while? our son sleeps in his own little "bed" we made on the floor of our room. at least then you are in close proximity and dont have to rush across the house or anything.
Hi M.,
On the seperation piece: Try using lavender to help her calm down, we also have used Peace and Calming. The night time can also be helped greatly with lavender and Peace and Calming as well: Apply topically or diffuse it in the air. Check out our site if you want. www.youngliving.org/407018.
Good luck with you little girl!
P.S. No nuk, she'll be OK!
I'm a mom of 5 and they all love/loved their binkies. I'm not a supporter of older kids with them in their mouth all the time but if it soothes her at bedtime I don't see the harm in it she may have not been ready and maybe it was too much too soon. I think give it back and see if it helps. Those cries are "night frights" where you can't calm them they need to calm themselves. I know its horrible but a lot of kids go through it, but it more sounds like she's having trouble adjusting to all the new changes. In the end you are her momma and you know whats best for the both of you, you do what feels right for you. I hope you both get some sleep soon.
