Night Accidents

My son does the same thing, my Dr. said no to even worry until he's 6. He is 6 now and we're still working on it but he is just a hard sleeper and won't wake up for anything. So don't worry, nothing wrong.

This is totally normal. Did you or his father have a similar
problem - it is frequently hereditary. My daughter was a very deep sleeper (slept through thunder and lightening storms)and had an occasional accident until she was in 3rd grade.It will stop on it's own. Be patient and use pull ups. Treat it in a matter of fact way - no shamming or impatience.

He's normal. It could be upto 4 more years before he wakes up on his own to use the bathroom. The best thing is to take him right before bed. If that doesn't stop the problem, wake him up every night before he pees at the same time every night. Even weekends, vacations, and holidays. It will train his body to wake up to pee. It will be hard, but well worth the effort. Pretty soon you won't have to wake him up; he'll just do it on his own. Good luck.

You are on the right track! But remember, if he is sleeping you need to set a time in the middle of the night for you to remember to get up and take him potty, say like around 3-4 am. It will be tough at first but believe me it is so nice to not have to change sheets. It is not your fault nor his, he is a growning boy! I did it for a couple of weeks to maybe a month and when they realize thier blader is full they will wake up over time and go into the bathroom himself. He just needs you to encourge him and remind him you will wake him and if he feels he has to go for him to get up and go to the bathroom. I hope this helps. Try it.....

We are night owls. We used to wake up our son and take him to the bathroom just before we went to bed, which was about half way through his sleep. But, just know that, especially for boys, it is common for them to have accidents even as long as 10, 11, or 12 years old. Talk to your ped. IIRC, there is some hormone that some boys just develop late. Don't punish him. It may be very much out of his control.

Hi, S., your situation is completely common! My first daughter was a VERY heavy sleeper, and although she was daytime potty-trained by 2 1/2 or so, she had to wear nighttime diapers or pull-ups until she was 5 1/2!! I put a rubberized pad under the bottom sheet of her bed because the last thing you want is a wet mattress. I also got her out of bed and "sleep-walked" her to the toilet every night around 11:30 before I went to bed. She never woke up on her own, and never remembered being woken up, but she really needed to pee at that time in order to make it through the night. As my mother kept telling me, "nobody walks down the aisle wearing diapers", so just try to have patience...this, too, will pass. You are lucky there are large-size "Good Night" pull-ons available...when my daughter was that age, she was too big for the biggest pull-up made, so I had to improvise with a cloth diaper and cotton training pants! Good luck!

Absolutely normal!You are doing the right thing. When you get use to this special time with him he will not need it anymore. With a young sibling this may take awhile. Cherish the time! Try not to begrudge it, he picks up on that and you can't hide your feelings from a 4 1/2 yr old.
Potty training can be their first attempt at controlling something!
Before you know it he'll be 12 and won't be needing you as much.
KK

S.,

Hi my name is B.. I so totally know what you are going through as my husband I dealt with the exact same problem. My son is 4 and a half as well and trust me pull ups do not work because they just get used to wetting in them. You are on the right track. Just wake him up to use the restroom before you go to sleep if he goes to bed before you do. Try this however, wake him and ask him if he needs to go potty first. Some children just sleep to heavily to wake when they need to potty. It is very common. Some just dont have their bladder developed all the way and they cant hold the liquid. It is a tough road but eventually your son will learn to hold it. He will also get tired of being risen from sleep to go potty. It is working for us and I hope it will work for you as well.

B. C

Not use if this will help. but I too had this very same with my oldest son. I too like you tried every thing from no liquid after 7pm to the necessary bath stop before bed. And nothing seemed to work. my son is now 7yrs old and I liked to report has not had an accident is quite some time. However when I i was searching for answers like you are there never really seemed to the right information for my situtation and none of the solutions seemed to work. and to tell you the truth he just grew out of it. However this is not always the case for everyone. what I was told the reason he was wetting the bed was not the fact that he had to much to drink or forgot to go to the bathroom before bed, but rather that he is in such a profound sleep that all his body's muscle relax including the bladder, hence the wetting. So like you we tried the pull-up for a time and we tried the bed wetting alarm system (which really didn't work because my son moved so much during his sleep that if he wet it wouldn't always be on the mat and then of course the alarm wouldn't go off to wake him up, plus that really didn't solve anything cuz he still wet)so like I said we tried about everything under the sun and then he just grew out of it. I wish I could give you some magically solution cuz I know how tried you are in the middle of the night stripping the bed down and soaking up the mess when all you really want to do is be getting a good nights sleep. But all I can say is hold in there maybe the solution for you is out there and maybe it will just click for your son like it did for mine soon. Good luck!

S.,

i was ready to pull my hair out fighting the same problem when my daughter was the same age. i don't know if this will help, but in our case, it turned out that she was afraid to walk to the bathroom alone in the middle of night past the dark, scary stairs, so she would opt to relieve herself in the "safety" of her own bed. Facing my frustrations was easier than facing her fear. Had i realized what was going on sooner, i would have found a solution, even if i had to put a potty chair in her room at night. Another possible solution is that i recently saw an ad for pullups that turn cold when they are wet. This might be enough to wake your son up if it's happening just because he is a deep sleeper.

My oldest was the same way he will be 5 in about a week. and has been potty trained since he was 22 months old, but i had to wake him up about 11pm to go pee in the potty before i went to bed to avoid accidents. I am always up late any ways so i just get him to go before i go to bed. i now dont have to wake him up any more he gets up on his own. Just give it some time. Another thing that i just found out from my friends (because this happened to her son) is that if your child is constipated that can cause them to pee more or have accidents. Just keep up with what you aare doing. it is the only thing you can do to avoid accidents.

Hi, I am a mother of 3 and our middle son did the same thing. He was potty trained just before his 3rd birthday with no accidents all day, but wasn't potty trained at night until just before his 5th birthday! I was not too concerned, because my husband did the same thing when he was little (but maybe even longer). We just really tried not to pressure him about it and kept Pull-up on him at night until he told us he was ready (and had had a couple of dry diaper nights).

I think if he went much longer I probably would have talked to his doctor about it. After having 3 very different children I realize that every child does things differently and on their own personal time line (o:

here is what worked with both of my kids - -
dont limit liquids etc - - and using the "goodnights" is not bad either - saves skin, laundry, and embarrassment - -
Try literally walking them to the bathroom before YOU go to bed - usually a couple of hours after they have gone to sleep - - they need support but at least you can get them to pee - - definitely helps -

we had to use a "sleep-alarm" with them eventually - - it is not anything abnormal with your kids - it is normal that a child sleeps so deeply that he can't recognize the feeling of having to "go".

The eneurisis alarm (or sleep alarm) simply fits into a pouch outside of underwear and a little tab goes inside the underpants just where the pee will come out - we put a small piece of kleenex just over the little tab so it would not rub or irritate - - when they pee, an obnoxious alarm goes off and they get up quickly and usually hopping mad (bawling!!) but after a few days they develope the sensation of when to get up before they set off the alarm - - my pediatrician suggested we wait until the summer between Kindergarten and 1st grade - - neither one has had an accident since!!

Hi there,
My son is the same age and he INSISTS on going to the bathroom (one, two, sometimes even 3 times) before he goes to sleep... I'll admit it has become somewhat of a game, but he has only had 1 accident since he's been potty trained. So, I'd suggest just having him go right before bed. At this age, they're such sound sleepers and the 'feeling' to pee just isn't enough to rouse him from sleep... am SURE that this is normal, he'll get there. But, in the meantime, letting him go to the bathroom BEFORE he goes to bed will help ensure that you're not changing sheets at 3:30 in the morning... :) And, THAT has to be a good thing!

My son just turned 7 and he still sometimes has accidents. I have him go potty before bed but sometimes it still happens. I can't explain why except maybe he feels a lil stress due to our situation. I just talk with him and explain to him he isn't a baby anymore. I know it's hard for lil ones to understand. There are times he has accidents during the day. that's because he is too busy to stop and go. I guess my advice is to just be as patient as possible. That's all we can do as far as I know. Sorry if this wasn't enough.

This is absolutely normal. Just continue to a) cut down on liquids at night, b) have him go to the bathroom right before bed, and c) treat accidents matter-of-factly so they don't become an emotional issue. That's what we did, and over the course of 6-10 months the accidents gradually went away. For two years or so, though, high stress or not enough sleep or lots of late-night liquids could trigger an accident.

Boys often sleep much deeper than girls. Are you giving him a short nap in the afternoon? It may help, especially if he plays alot and is very active. You could limit this to 1/2 hour if getting him to bed later is a problem. As a retired child care worker I have dealt with many children who wet the bed and most were boys. One girl had a bladder that was not stretching enough to keep up with her size and her Dr. suggested making her hold her pee during the day just as long as possible, even risking a bit of wetting so that the bladder would stretch and grow. Medications were available but the girls mother didn't like the sound of the side effects so chose the stretch method. Possibly this could help your boy as well.

You have the solution, congratulations on finding it. Just take him to the potty before going to bed. It is normal and lasts however long it lasts, sometimes up to five years old.

This is very normal. Use pull-ups at night until he resists and put a padded waterproof cover over his mattress so if he does have an accedent "all" you have to do is change his sheets. It can take some kids, boys espicially, until 6 or 7 years old to wake up at night to pee. Getting him up before you go to bed is a good idea. This way he will get used to having a dry bed in the morning and also because it is easier than changing sheets. When he is older have him pee 3 times right before he goes to bed. you can space it between the time it takes to brush his teeth and then one more time right before he goes to bed. It seems to work most of the time. If he wants a little water before going to bed have him pee after he drinks too. This works pretty well. Eventually he'll started waking up at night and you can stop this routine. The best thing is don't make a big deal out of his night time peeing. If he gets anxious about peeing in his bed it will take longer for him to wake up at night to pee. P.

Our son is 4 1/2 also. We always take him to pee right before bed. In fact, even I go pee right before bedtime, and I'm 40 years old. That's normal.

Childhood night accidents and sleepwalking run in my husband's side of the family. His relatives all outgrew it around puberty. Our daughter who's 9 still has some near-misses. For a year or so we'd have to pull her out of bed around midnight, place her on the toilet, and she'd wake up enough to pee and wipe, but fall asleep before flushing or pulling her jammies back up. She progressed to semi-waking, wiping, pulling up and washing her hands. Now in general she gets herself up and stumbles out of her room to pee, but every once in awhile she forgets to open her door and walks into it, which is certainly a rude awakening, poor little thing. And she hasn't peed her bed or on the living room floor in a couple of years, so... progress, not perfection.

So I think the combo of small bladder and deep sleep is a tough one, but is overcome with time and patience. I'm glad, because she's almost as tall as me now and I'm not sure I could carry her to the bathroom!

Hi S.,
We've had the same issue with our 4 year old daughter. For the longest time, I was waking her before we went to bed and having her go to the bathroom. We did this for about 6 month. I forgot a couple of nights and found that the bed was dry. We still have occasional accidents, but it has definately improved and her bladder seems to be able to hold it for longer. Have some patience. It will probably get better soon. If not, ask your pediatrician. I'm sure they have great advice.
best,
J.

Hi S.,
I agree with previous posters that many kids are not night trained until six or seven. We did not have to deal with this issue but had challenges potty training him during the day (total power struggle). Anyway, what you're experiencing is completely normal. Many kids take much longer (sometimes years longer) to be potty trained at night. For whatever reason, their bodies just aren't ready. While your son is probably just in a deep sleep, I agree with the previous poster who mentioned being afraid in the dark. Our son was afraid to get out of bed in the dark, too. He has a nightlight in his room, and we added one in the bathroom as well. We also considered a potty chair for his room, but he did not want that. Since he wasn't having accidents, we followed his wishes. So, frustrating as it may be, stick with the overnight diapers until either he asks not to have them or until, morning after morning, the diapers are just as light as they were when you first put them on him. And, as someone else mentioned, an overnight that will feel wet, cold, or otherwise unpleasant might help as well, as his brain will receive some feedback that something went on down there.
Hang in!
K.

it may take a long time before he will out grow wetting the bed keep using your pull ups don't woory about water beefore bed some times they need more fluids. if you have to get up in the night you might get him up to go to the bathroom too. sometimes just not worring about it helps. just be glad you use pull ups and you are not changing the whole bed. good luck S.

Hi,

We tried to wean our son off pull-ups about that age and after a couple of accidents we conceded and went back to pullups...after he turned 5 he had about a month of dry diapers and announced he was done and hasn't had an accident since...my reco is don't push it...their bodies are timed to do it and when they're really ready you'll know.

Cheers,
P.

I have a 13 year old grandson who never was potty trained. Sometimes they are and go back and sometimes they never are. I thought it was psychological, but from what I understand now it is a sleep problem. They sleep so deeply that the brain shuts off and does not send the message to shut off the bladder at night. They stay in the deep sleep pattern all night instead of going through the normal cycles as most of us do. It also tends to run in families. Your child might be a little young to go this route but if it continues you might want to contact the Enuresis Clinic in Michigan. You might want to just talk to them anyway at this point. Their web site is www. nobedwetting.com. I hope this helps.

My son also had that problem. This is common and some children take until puberty to grow out of it. There is a medical term, but I can't seem to remember, as my son is now 19 years old. The problem is that they are very deep sleepers and can't control it because of this. Pull ups are a Godsend so embrace them and continue to explain that it's ok but that sometimes it takes longer for others. It is sad though because I remember my son would never go on sleepovers unless it were a family member because he was embarrsassed. I even suffered from this as a child and it is tramatizing for the child. I remember hiding my wet clothing so I wouldn't get caught and that's just plain nasty!! But we do what we have to in order to cope. Be patient and remember it may last till puberty.

My daughter was the same age when my husband (the enabler) went out of town for a few days. I bought a rubber crib sheet and put it on her bed with a small sheet across it (like a draw sheet if you know what that is). I also took away her pull-ups and put a night light in the bathroom. It took a couple of days -- only because she had a stash of diapers in her room that I didn't know about -- but she only had one more accident after her Dad got home from his trip. I had suspected for a while she was being lazy and she proved me right. Initially, she called us to take her to the bathroom, but now she gets up by herself and puts herself back to bed. My husband's big objection to taking away the pullups had been not wanting to change a wet bed at 2am. The rubber sheet and draw sheet solved that problem. Nicki didn't like sleeping in wet clothes, so she quickly learned to wake herself up.

HTH.

S. Langmead

My daughters are now 11 and 10 but we had the same issue for years. I spoke to my pediatrician about it. She recommended all the same things you've already done and then added an electric alarm system, which I know works for some people. Nothing worked for my girls, however, so finally their Doctor said that it is not uncommon and that the problem was a brain development issue. Their bladders were not waking their brains up to go in the middle of the night. Ironically, they both stopped having accidents at exactly 9 years and 4 months of age. That showed me that it really was a brain function issue and not something I could manage. It is no longer an issue in our home, but I remember the years of frustration and morning laundry. Hang in there. Try what you can and see what works for your son. Be patient and don't shame him. Someday it won't be an issue in your home. You may not have to wait as long as we did.

mtther of a 7 yr old. boys bladders are smaller . my husband took my son to the bathroom in the middle of the night. until it became a habit for my son. that was probably about five. it is just one of those things. If your husband goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night just have him take your son. good luck!

S., It sometimes seems like a long time. Your litte boy is trying, Your doing your best, Time is essence, Your busy and everything is a process and sometimes a program. But it is important how the child is potty trained. Not in a hurry, spooky, or up-setting but smiles and loving and everything at home safe, loving and not in a hurry as we can be. Peer Pressure he will get plenty at school;PRESCHOOL,ELEMENTARY, JUNIOR HIGHT AND HIGH SCHOOL.

May God Bless you and your family.

My Doctor told me that sometimes kids will have accidents until they are about 7 they are not fully developed and don't have the full control.
Just take preventitive measures to be sure the betwetting doesn't make life unbearable. Keep up the before bed potty, then put some plastic sheets under the regular sheets, this way it's the mattress is protected and the clean up will be easier and the child will not feel so bad.

I have two sons, 4 1/2 and almost 7 and we are still having nighttime accidents. I've been told and heard that often the ability to hold it all night is a physical development thing and possibly a hereditary thing. Stick with the nighttime diapers. He'll grow out of it in time. I don't know of any teenagers that wet the bed.

S.-

My son is 6 and still having these issues. We were away this weekend with four other boys up to the age of 9 all of who were having the same issue. The doctors say don't worry. My son just sleeps too deep and his body does not wake him up. My husband and his brother also had the issue growing up so relax.

Then you make sure to take him to pee before he goes to bed. It will eventually get better.

My oldest son had the same problem when he was the same age and not even letting him wet every night helped. I checked out and read every book in the library and finally found one that both made sense and worked although I cannot remember the name of it...Basically, it is visualization/subconcious traning. Use in addition to limiting pre-bedtime fluids and taking the pre-bedtime trip to the potty.

At night tuck your child in and turn off the lights in his room and in/around the closest bathroom. Have him close his eyes and imagine he is sleeping, but he feels the urge to pee (use whatever terminology you already use). Ask him what he does in the day when he gets that feeling? He will respond go in the potty. Tell him that at night he needs to go in the potty too even though it is hard to wake up. Have him "practice" doing it...turning on the light, using a stool if he normally does, even pulling down his pants and reaching to flush...don't actually need to flush and waste the water. Make him lay down and run through this scenario 4-5 times each night. Within two weeks, accidents had cut down significantly and we would only practice 1-2 times per night and within a couple of months he was trained completely aside from occasional accident from too much fluid, falling asleep prior to making the bedtime trip to the bathroom or from sheer exhaustion after a big day.

My youngest daughter is 3 and I am going to begin trying it with her soon. She started day potty training VERY early and was too little to get up at night, but now we are ready to get her out of the Pullups. Hope this works as well for you as it did for us. Good luck!

If he's a deep sleeper it may just be something he'll have to outgrow. I have a 7-year-old who still occasionally has accidents, because he sleeps so soundly. I've cleaned his room without waking him up! But as he's gotten older he's responding better to his bodies cues, and the number of accidents are fewer than the nights he gets up on his own to go. Night-time pull-ups are still our back-up system, and getting your son up to go before you go to bed is a good one, he'll probably start doing that on his own after awhile!
Good Luck!

unfortunately he just needs to grow a bit. night time dryness can take years in some boys. its not that unusual to see it last until 11 or 12. relax, put on a waterproof mattress protector and store a set of sheets in his room. he will get dry in his own time. just remember to take him to the toilet before bed.

My son was having accidents every night...he was 7 years old and would leak out of the pull ups we put on him. He had not had one night in his entire life that he had not had an accident. On the recommendation of a friend, we tried the night alarm. It is a little device that attached to his underwear and an alarm sounds to wake him with any moisture. I have heard that some people think this is cruel, but it worked wonders for us. It took him about 2 weeks to master, but he has not had an accident in over a year!! At first, the alarm would not even wake him, so we would go in and wake him to take him to the bathroom, but after a few nights, he started to learn to listen for the sound and was able to get himself up....about 2 weeks later he was able to wake himself without the alarm and was so proud of himself. This really helped him because he was a little ashamed that he had to wear pull ups to bed and his little brother didn't...now it is all in the past!

S...
Our son just turned 4 on the 15th of February. He has been potty trained for so long now, that we to on the occasional nights have had incidents. He enjoys his sleep because he would wake up all wet. What dad and I started to do is ask him to go potty before bed time and then either dad or I would wake up in the late night to take him potty. It works because both of us get up to go ourselves, so we just take advantage and take him with us. For the most part, he gets up on his own but we still take him as well. This is what has worked for us and we've had no wet incidents for a while now. We too, are hoping he does it completely on his own with out having to take him in the late night. I hope you find solution to help your situation.

I am 35 y/o and live in Petaluma. I am a full time working mom and dad is at home with our son during the day. We only have our 4 y/o son who is the center of our world. We hope to have other children in the near future.

Relax!
My husband and his brother wet the bed until they were 9 - yes 9 - as did the boy I nanny for. Sometimes it just takes a while for their bladder to be big enough to hold it all through the night. There is nothing wrong w/ your kid.
If your worry is the work of washing bedding everyday, my mother-in-law came up w/ the best idea I had heard of. She bought them kids sized sleeping bags and put plastic between the sleeping bag and the mattress. This way she just washed 2 small sleeping bags a day and didn't have to worry about making the beds.

Very common thing. I have a 6 yr old that hasn't had accidents once potty trained other than bed wetting. I know of some that are 10-12 still bed wetting. I would love to read some of the advice you get. Even with pull ups I am changing bedding at least 2-3x per week.

Have him do a visualization just before going to sleep, along with the bed time story or in place of. There is him, and there is a loving friend who is all knowing, all loving, and this friend pulls him by the hand to the bathroom when it is time to go. They may be playing or visiting friends in the clouds just before it is time, then when it is time to wake up and give him the power to do it on his own, he can easily get up and go to the bathroom. His mommie and daddie are so proud of him for listening to his wise friend.

This is hypnotherapy and it works. It may take a little while for it to sink all the way into the subconscious programming but when it is established it will be perfect!
Love, L.

Hi! My name is V. and my son also has the same problems. Unfortunately, he is 7 years old. I've taken him to see his doctor and was explained that his bladder is so tiny it can only hold a certain amount of liqiud. And my son is such a deep sleeper anyway. Eventually it will go away; I'm pretty confident in that. Godd luck to you and your son. Hang in there!

Hi S. S,
This happened to my daughter until she was about six years old. We finally solved the problem with a "bladder strength and exercise" technique. We bought a battery operated wired pad that is inserted under the sheet of the bed. When any water(or other moisture)hits the pad during the night, a buzzer sounds and will wake him up. The waking part, that happens right away and has the affect of strengthing the bladder muscles. The first night, there was about a 10 inch wet spot.
The second night maybe a 6 inch wet spot. 2 nights later, zero! Ask around where to buy it. This really works, and is perfectly safe and will not harm your son and he will be just as happy as you will be, maybe more! I don't know where you can buy one but it should be available somewhere. You can say goodby to wet bedding for good and in about one week!!!
Tom R. I've been there and done that.

First of all, have your son checked by a pediatrician to make sure there is no physical reason for his lack of control. I remember being in the 5th grade with a girl who got made fun of for having "accidents" until she had to have a little surgical procedure. It caused her a lot of embarrassment, but she couldn't help it. And, they waited until she was old enough to do it so it wouldn't have to be repeated as she grew.
Secondly, talk to your son about whether or not he dreams. I vividly remember being very young and wetting the bed a few times which woke me up as soon as I felt wet, but, in my sleep, I knew that I had to pee and dreamed that I got up and went into the bathroom.
It may be that he sleeps so soundly he just lets it go.
This may sound mean, but just do your usual routine and try stopping the pull-ups. Just put on his underpants and let him "go" without a safety net. Most kids don't like being wet and not having the "diaper" thing may help to get his little mind working toward holding it or getting up in the night to go.

It is normal that he doesn't wake up on his on. Everything you are doing is correct. Try to give him something to drink at the same time every day, (at least one hour or hour and a half before he goes to sleep) then take him to pee right before he goes to bed. You will create a routine and his body is going to respond to that routine. I hope this help you. God bless your family.