Newly Pregnant & Panicked About Miscarriage

Hi J.,

I had a miscarriage last spring. I am now 25 weeks pregnant with a very active boy. I admit that I still expect bleeding every time I go to the bathroom though there has not been any with this pregnancy. My yoga instructor recommended that every time I needed to relax, I say to myself, "My baby is healthy in body, mind and spirit. My baby is happy and at ease." It sounds goofy and I'm not generally all that new age-y, but this positive talk really did help me. I still do it sometimes.

I worried too, not because I had had miscarriages, but because I had a terrible time getting pregnant (drugs, procedures etc.) and so I knew (financially and maybe physically) that this was my only chance. I went on to have a perfect pregnancy and a perfectly healthy child. My stepdaughter had a miscarriage early too, like you, and worried with her second pregnancy. She went on to deliver a healthy little boy!

You say that if you think about things too much, part of your body responds. If you are thinking about the cramp, that's one thing, but it's REALLY IMPORTANT that you not think that THINKING about miscarriage CAUSES it. You are not responsible for what happened the first time!

We are so much more aware o fthings these days than in the "old days" - before early pregnancy tests, millions of women got "late periods" that were really early miscarriages, but they often didn't know it. Now we can test so early that we all know at 5 weeks that we are pregnant. Secondly, more and more women talk about miscarriage than ever before, which is good from a support standpoint, but it makes it seem like it is much more prevalent, which it isn't.

I hope that you can try to get past this - it's not crazy, but it's not helpful. It's not unusual, but it's not productive. It's not harmful to the pregnancy, but it's very hard on you. I would say that this is an excellent chance to be nice to yourself. Try not to listen to anyone's sad stories or negative thoughts, the complaints, etc. Sometimes women get a little competitive - who had the worst symptoms, who had the most anxiety, etc. - don't let anyone try to "top" you and make you feel badly because you're not having as bad a time as they did! By the same token, if you have friends who are pregnant, try not to let your worry get in the way of someone else's happiness.

Try not to let the worry get in the way of enjoying what's happening! The joy, the excitement, the new feelings, the planning, and yes, the heartburn or nausea or twinges - they are all part of the total experience! As you get further into the pregnancy, you will FEEL more pregnant and it will feel more a part of you, and that will help.

Good luck, and keep reaching out to other women for support!

Hi J.,
I am the mother of 4 wonderful children ranging from the ages of 15 down to 2 1/2.

I understand your concern. But, you need to keep in mind that each pregnancy is different just like every child is different. No two of either one is going to be the same.

Miscarrying is a sad and emotionally painful thing to have to experience and live with. I watched my best friend go through it and it wasnn't easy, but she did have another child after the misscarriage and she is a beautiful girl. She is healthy and strong.

You are right in acknowledging that the negetive thinking affects your body. The mind has great power and you need to fill it with positive power.

I know that it isn't easy and the best thing you can do is keep your mind busy with other things. Like reading some good books for enjoyment, doing a craft, making puzzles and framing them for yourself and friends and family. Find a hobby that takes your mind to concentrate on it. Play more with your daughter and go for walks, get out of the house, change the scenery.

When a negetive thought comes into your mind, get frim with yourself and say; "No, I am not going there!" Repeat it as many times as you need to and then sing a song in your head to change the focus of your thoughts.

Try not to panick with every little twinge and pang you feel. There are many twinges and pangs to be felt all through pregnancy and each is normal and different.

Take care of yourself by eating right, getting enough rest,low impact exercise like walking. Try some relaxation tapes and soothing music playing in the bakground of the house during the day.

Most of all try to have faith in the FATHER that created you. I know it can be hard in difficult times to trust and have faith, but that is when we need to hold tight to it the most.

I hope some of this helps. God Bless.
C.

Hi, J. - first let me say I am sorry for your loss. I had three miscarriages before I had my little boy (now 3 1/2) and my twin daughters (who are 1 - naturally conceived!) and I can totally understand about your fears. There is nothing at all crazy about how you are feeling. The only thing I can suggest is being as much in the moment as possible - right now, everything is fine. Right now, you and the baby are doing great. It is so hard, but I just took it day by day by day. There is no easy way to do this, but when the scary thoughts creep in, replace them with affirmations. Like when your mind says "what if something happens?" you counter with "there is no reason to believe that anything bad will happen." Or when you are thinking you feel a cramp you can counter with "cramps do not necessarily indicate that there is anything wrong." Could be implantation cramps (I had those worse with each pregnancy and lots of my friends have as well) or just your mind playing tricks on you (that happens to me all the time!). Also, maybe find a kind care practitioner and get early ultrasounds and blood work, etc. to help put your mind at ease. I hope this helps - talking to people who have gone through it us also helpful or even a friend/sister who has the utmost patience who will let you endlessly voice your fears just to get them out and who in turn will be kind and loving to you. All the best to you. M.

Hi J.,

I think a lot of people will tell you they know exactly how you feel! I got pregnant again pretty quickly after my miscarriage last year and for the first few weeks every time I went to the bathroom I was convinced I was going to miscarriage again. I was really upset and cold about it a lot of the time - but I really think it was because I was steeling myself for the small possibility that it would happen again - and that upset me more because I really wanted to enjoy my pregnancy like I had the first time.

What I can say is that the panic does go away. You just need to do whatever makes you most comfortable mentally until it subsides. Like I went really overboard avoiding EVERYTHING that was potentially bad - I wouldn't even have a cup of tea! People thought I was being extreme, but I just needed to know that I was doing everything correctly.

You just have to believe that the last pregnancy wasn't right - for whatever reason, it wasn't the right time. Generally when you miscarry that early it's because there is something unviable about the pregnancy, so it really is nature's way of sorting things out. So this time around just do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel ok - and if that includes freaking out every now and again that's totally fine! And talk about it - that'll help A LOT. I found that was one of the worst things - it's almost like a taboo subject so I personally want to set about changing that!

Good luck with everything - anyone who has been through a miscarriage knows how your feeling and will have you in their thoughts.

All the best,
V.

I went through the exact same thing! During my 3rd pregnancy when I went in for my check up at 11 weeks there was nothing there. I had a blighted ovum and had to go through the whole miscarraige process. Very painful and emotionally draining. My next pregnancy was soo stressful for the first trimester! I even insisted on blood work and an early ultrasound. Unfortunately on an early u/s they don't see anything...so I was positive I was going through same thing again. Luckily all the worry was for naught! I have a very healthy 3rd baby boy and when I look at him I realize that everything does happen for a reason. That is much, much easier to say looking back than while you are going through it.

I have a close friend who did just go through her 2nd miscarraige...so just remember every story is their own. My mom also suffered through 2 miscarriages between my sister and me. SO...try and stay positive and hopefully everything will work out just fine.

Good luck and I wish you strength through this time of uncertainty!!

H. Z. (SAHM 5, 4 and 18 month old boys)

Hi J.- I understand how you are feeling. We had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy and it was really hard and sad...it kind of pulls the rug out from beneath you...I remember feeling soooo tentativive when we got pregnant again...this time feeling like nothing is a given and anything could happen, which is true, but not what you want to think about.

that said, we got pregnant again and had a prefectly normal pregnacy- my daughter is now 19 mo. old and we are pregnant again and due next month and this pregnancy has been good as well.

after my miscarriage the one thing I learned is that miscarriage is MUCH more common than I ever imagined...it seems like every other person I talk to has had one at some point and has had prefectly fine pregnancy's afterwards.

THe only thing I can suggest is that if your Dr. is willing to do an early ultrasound that it can put some of your fears to rest...they did one for me at around 8 weeks during my second pregnancy and we could see that the baby was growing fine. Not all doctors are willing though b/c I think ultrasounds are expensive when it comes to insurance, but it can't hurt to ask...my docttor also checked my hormone levels to make sure my progesterone was where it should be...that is a simple blood test.

Hi J.,
Your doctor is right. You are lucky that you've already had one successful pregnancy! I have 2 kids and while I've never had a miscarriage I have several friends who have and one who had many (I think it was 7!!!) before finally being successful with her first child and now has three. So keep positive! Easy for me to say, but since you believe that thinking can make your body respond, turn it around and think POSITIVELY and then your body will respond to that! I don't know if that is true or not but it certainly cannot hurt, and there is plenty of research out there on the power of positive thought. So stay positive, know that your body is doing its best and that a miscarriage is the body's way of telling you the pregnancy isn't viable, and is actually a good thing because if you don't miscarry you've got a baby on the way that is able to survive the trip into the world!
I hope this helps you, I do understand how your thinking can undermine your life if you let it. Focus your attention on your daughter and husband and work....and stop the negative thoughts when they creep in by training yourself to respond by looking at a photo of your daughter or something positive like that, even if it's just a picture in your head. Combine the picture with a positive thought ("I am so lucky to have my daughter!" or a special memory or something like that) and repeat it over and over until the negative worrying is replaced.
Good luck!
S.

Hi J.,

Congratulations, this is a wonderful time in your life!! Remind yourself that you are a miracle and that you are going through a miraculous time. My second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. My daughter was 18 months old at the time and I had to remind myself that I have carried a baby to term and she is healthy and happy. I got pregnant again 4 months after my loss and I carried my son to term and he is healthy and happy.

I work on a maternity ward and I would say that 8 out of every 10 women have experienced a loss at some point. It is very common and there is nothing you did wrong, you did not cause it. There is something in our bodies that decides something is wrong and ends the pregnancies.

I know it is scary. I worried about everything during my pregnancy with my son. Especially working on maternity but I had to remind myself that I did it once and I can do it again. I just focused on thinking about how wonderful it would be when he was born and made myself think positively all the time.

Talk to your doctors. They are there to help you and they can usually put concerns to rest. It will be easier once you can feel your baby moving around because then you have that daily reassurance that everything is okay. Just think about how happy you will be when that little bundle of joy is in your arms.

Good luck and ENJOY your pregnancy for the miracle that it is!!!

Wow, I am 30 years old with a 20 month old daughter and just had a miscarriage in November(after trying for 7 months). We were told to wait three months. Next month we will start trying again and I know I will be in the same boat and worry until the day I deliever my next child, they say your mind is a very powerful thing. My daughter played a huge roll in getting me through my miscarriage so I've enrolled us in a bunch of classes and am trying to keep myself busy so I'm not so focused on what may or may not happen... Good Luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

Hi, J.. I'm sorry to hear of the loss you suffered this past summer. I suffered two miscarriages before having my son. Being PAL (pregnant after loss) is a hard thing to go through. I found the most helpful thing was to join an online forum full of wonderful women who understood exactly how I felt, because they had either gone through it themselves, or were going through it with me. Being able to talk about it whenever I wanted to was helpful. And when I didn't feel up to posting, sometimes it was just a comfort to read what the others were feeling.

The forum I joined is based in England, so I have never had the pleasure of meeting up with any of the women, although I have become very good friends with one who's due date was very near mine. I'm sure such forums exist locally, but you'd have to search for them. If you don't mind most of the members being from overseas the support forum I belong to is lifeafterloss.org.uk and they are the most wonderful bunch of caring supportive women you'll ever communicate with.

I wish you the best of luck for a healthy and safe pregnancy.

Dear J.,

when we were trying for our first child (we have 2 now), i miscarried. You know how much that hurts. And i was so worried, since i didn't even have a child yet and was i ever going to, now that i knew how much it meant to me.... When i got pregnant again, right away, i did fear to miscarry again, of course. I again "had to" take long distance plane trips, and did have stressful events in my professional life. I was wondering whether these had caused me to misscarry the first time (it was right after 2 days of high-stress interviewing and long plane rides).

I did not miscarry again. I had a healthy son, and two years later a healthy girl. What a blessing.

What did i do to stay calm and sane? I focussed on trusting my body and my new baby, and that "life" would know whether i needed to miscarry or go through this time. I used the serenity prayer (Life, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference.). I handed it over to somebody/something outside of me, but still very connected to me. If i did fear and mourne, so i did. I tried to let it rain through me and stay with these feeling breating calmly and consciously, until the "sun rose again", and i felt more comfort. It wasn't always easy. But i almost always felt i could do it. And when i didn't, i acted as if.

I guess my punch line is, let go and trust. Everything will be good. Maybe in unexpected ways.

Be well, take care, heaps of luck!!!
D.

At the age of 33 I miscarried with my first child, at 7 weeks. Two months later I got pregnant again and everything was fine. Eighteen months later I got pregnant again, no issues there either. I did notice the pregnancy test I took before I miscarried had very "light" readings, the line was barely visible. The following tests with my sons were both very readable. I believe the pale reading came from a lack of hormones, which in turn caused the miscarriage. Perhaps you noticed a difference in the tone of your readings too?
Good luck, and don't berate yourself for worrying, you have a perfectly valid fear, you just need to be good to yourself.

I understand how you feel. I had a miscarriage about a year ago and I am now due at the beginning of Feb. I was extremely paranoid in the beginning of my pregnancy but everything has turned out to be O.K. Since you are so concerned ask your Dr. for an ultra sound just to put your mind at ease. I had one at 11 weeks---they thought I might be having twins.
You already have a daughter so you know your body is capable of carrying a child. I know it is hard to do but try to relax and not let yourself worry quite so much. I felt better after talking w/just some friends & found out how many of them or people they know had had miscarriages & went on to have a healthy baby not too long after! Good Luck to you & your baby!

Hi J.,

after my miscarriage, Flower Essences (from either Flower Essence Society brand or Bach brand) really helped me. They are very safe, a gentle vibrational therapy that helps assuage many emotional issues like this. For best results, get a consultation with a certified flower essence person. If there is no one in your area, then search online and do a phone consultation. Here is an example of a product that could help:
http://www.manataka.org/page1742.html

I am imagining a healthy person developing inside you, beautiful and perfect! I encourage your trust in Mother Nature, always believing that she is taking care of you. After my miscarriage in August (fetus at 16 weeks) we tested and found that the baby had chromosomal development problems. For us, this was a blessing that Mother Nature was helping us to avoid even more intense grief and suffering by having my body miscarry that sweet little person.

Best of luck and heartfelt good wishes that this pregnancy will continue to be healthy.

I got pregnant last year after a miscarriage and the only thing that got me through was trying to stay absolutely in the moment. Every time I started to freak out I would try to just focus on that moment and the baby right then and not let my mind go to the future. There truly isn't anything you can do, so all you can do is be with the baby right then. I couldn't always do this, but when I could it really helped.

I felt pains like that all through my pregnancy - probably round ligament pain in this case - it doesn't mean a miscarriage. I did end up having a baby in May.

Good luck to you. I know it is very hard.

Hi,
I am in the same situation. I had a miscarriage back in May (due to a tripliod pregnancy) and am now 12 weeks pregnant again. I have been very worried it will happen agian. Everyone keeps telling me (and I know how hard it is) to think positively. It is extremely difficult to be positive with the thought of losing another baby always on your mind, but I had to remember and you do too, that always stressing is not good for your body or baby. Unfortunately, if another misscarriage is going to happen there is nothing that we can do about it, so for our mental health and our babies' safety we need to try as much as possible to think happy thoughts. Keep in mind that you already had one healthy pregnancy and baby, and another will come. For me, my son (who just turned 3) was a saving grace after my missciage. Knowing that I already had such a healthy beautiful little boy at home allowed me to believe that it will happen again when it is meant to. I had a Dr. app. yesterday and heard my baby's heart beat and I was thrilled (I was so worried that there wasn't going to be one) Tomorrow I have to go to Boston to get a 3D-4D ultrasound so they can take an in depth look at the baby's facial features and everything else to make sure everything is okay and I don't have the same condition as last time. Hopefully I can be a little more at ease after that. I just wanted you to know that someone else out there is going through the same thing, you are not alone. I know it will take some time to be competely at ease(probably until that new little baby is in your arms) but please try to think positively. No good can come of stressing. Good luck with everything. Think happy thoughts!
J. R

If you live anywhere near Bangor, ME, there is a group called Empty Arms that meets at EMMC on the 4th Wednesday of each month. It is a group for families dealing with miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death. You would be very welcome to attend and talk about your feelings regarding this subsequent pregnancy. You are not alone in your anxieties and you would find a lot of people who have been through that. Hope that helps!

J., please take some time to sit still and calm yourself every day. Think positive thoughts for yourself and both of your children - your daughter needs a calm mommy and so does the baby in your womb. I experienced miscarriages also. My first pregnancy I miscarried at 8 weeks. Then we had a successful, full-term pregnancy. My first born is a daughter, too. :) My sonogram at 7 weeks during my third pregnancy showed that my baby had died and, rather than go with a D&C I again waited until my body processed through the miscarriage naturally. I must admit that waiting parts were VERY difficult emotionally. But it was also healing in that I had time to grieve and accept emotional and prayer support from friends and family over the course of a few weeks. It wasn't just abruptly over with a procedure. My fourth went full-term and we were blessed with a boy. My fifth - another boy. I have been pregnant 10 times...the rest were miscarriages no later than 9 weeks and one we had tested (#8) and the tests showed she had 2 different extra chromosome issues and would not have survived outside the womb. I believe that God made a wonderful thing in the creation of our bodies and how they come together from two tiny cells to become, in most cases, fully functioning beings. When things don't happen that way I believe there is a reason, whether we are not prepared to commit to the life required for raising a special needs child or whether we need to grow and be able to share and empathize with others who are grieving from the loss of a child, or any number of other possibilities. You have been blessed with motherhood three times now and even though one was very short-lived on this earth in your womb, you were still that child's mother, too. Try to find peace and a renewed appreciation for your daughter. Your doctor is right - nothing you can do will prevent it. In my book, that also means that if you are supposed to have another child to cuddle and raise IT WILL HAPPEN. Blessings to you and your precious family...kc

HI J., congrats on your pregnancy. I have never miscarried (I only have a 2 and a half month old). I can only imagine what you're going through. This website may help to give you some words of encouragement that will hopefully help. Try this: the moment you get a negative thought, kick it out! Tell yourself that you won't allow this thoughts to taunt you. So, as soon as you think "I'm going to lose this baby" just automatically ENVISION yourself with that baby. I know it's easier said than done, but that is what I did while I was pregnant and it would get me through the moment. Even though I've never miscarried, I can often think very negative "what if" thoughts and drive myself crazy. So, I would just keep telling myself and envisioning myself having this baby.

Even now that I have her, I'm sooo afraid of something happening to her, like SIDs, etc. I just envision her older, as a happy healthy little girl. I envision her getting bigger and even more beautiful...if that's even possible!! Good luck, I will say a prayer for you. But I know you and your baby are going to be fine!

PS- If you've never read "The Secret" I suggest it. It's a great book and all about the law of attraction and how to stay positive. Not sure if it will help, but it helped me with a lot of things.

Have you thought about contacting a Doula? There are a few in our area and one may be able to calm your fears and/or suggest ways to work your way through them. I've recently spoken with two Doulas in the area and they are really nice and super supportive as well as knowedgable about pregnancy and child birth. You can look online at D.O.N.A. International. Hope this helps.

Not sure what others are saying, but depending on why you miscarried, you could possibly prevent it - I had very very low progesterone levels that could have caused a miscarriage and needed to use progesterone suppositories vaginally until 12 weeks. Something to look into if it would put your mind at ease.

Your doctor is right there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage. And it is completely normal to have small cramps when pregnant, after all your uterous is changing shape to prepare. Especially where you have been pregnant before, your body "remembers" and returns to the pregnancy state sooner than your first. I have miscarried once, and where I can't promise it won't happen again, please know that miscarriages happen for a reason. Its not you or anything you did. Its your body's way of terminating what may end up being a child with serious defects. My friend had a miscarriage when trying for her 2nd, and when they did the d & c they told her that the fetus was severely deformed. I know its not a pleasant thought, but her body knew it wasn't healthy. You need to try and focus on spending time with your 20 month old and just take it one step at a time. You risk for miscarriage decreases after 12 weeks, so hang in there and just take care of your self. Worrying too much isn't healthy either!!

This happens to so many women, including myself. I'm astounded at the rate of miscarriage, but you have to trust in fate/God/whomever that what happens will happen. After losing my first baby at 8.5 weeks, any time my brain had nothing to do I would get nervous about my pregnancy. I only started to feel normal and get excited at the end of the first trimester. I have a healthy happy baby girl now. You should try and practice some meditation, deep breathing, find a positive mantra that works for you and repeat it. You're pretty much a vessel, try and keep yourself steering straight and steady while pregnant if at all possible. Use a boat image if it helps, sailing through calm blue waters, yadda yadda. Good luck!

Hi J.. I had terrible cramps with my second child the entire time I was pregnant. If you are worried schedule an appt with your dr. it will help reassure you that everything is okay.

Your worries bring back my own. I miscarried before my son who is now 4. I carried that baby for 10wks when my only indication was a small amount of spotting.(an u/s showed that the baby stopped growing at 6wks). I spotted with my son at around the same time, but this time went to the doctors and heard his strong beautiful heartbeat. Before my daughter who is 2yrs old, I miscarried for the second time with the same indication and this time no heartbeat and and an u/s again confirmed my fears...the biopsy at the d+c showed to abnormalities just a preg. that for what ever reason went wrong. With my daughter I again spotted and this time went to the hospital at just over 6weeks and could see the beautiful flutter of her heart. What I've told friends is that God has a reason for doing these things..if I didn't miscarry that first time I won't have my son and won't have my daughter if the second didn't happen. They are both healthy, strong and blessings.
There is nothing you can do differently, take care of yourself so you can be the best home for this growing baby. That cramping you are feeling sounds like your ligments stretching from your growing uterus...please try to focus on the positive so you can enjoy your preg.

D.

First of all, congratulations! Second, take a deep breath... or three. :-) Our bodies definitely respond to our thoughts. You'll feel much better once you get past the point of your previous loss. (voice of experience on that!) Try to spend more time thinking about what you do want (e.g. an easy healthy pregnancy, and a beautiful baby) than what you don't want. Our thoughts affect how we feel and how we feel affects how we act, and also affects our health. So choosing to focus on all the good possibilities ahead of you is a way to give yourself a little boost.
Best wishes!

Calm down and breath. It is true, your body is just figuring things out and no one can "make" it happen-- or not happen. You can not will a miscarriage with your thoughts, so calm down. Just think of all your body has to learn for you to make a baby! It is crazy! I miscarried at 6-7 weeks and am now due in 4 weeks with baby #2. Our daughter is 2 years old and the most beautiful thing in our lives. It'll all happen perfectly, just give yourself time to relax and your body some room to breath. Good luck! D.

Hi J.,

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage...I know how hard it is as I suffered two myself. Both were around 8 weeks too, so naturally when I was pregnant for the third time I was extremely anxious, especially around the 8 week mark. (I'm happy to say though that I have a beautiful 5 month baby girl sleeping in the next room as I write this.)

The fact that you've already had one successful birth is great news! Not only can you get pregnant but you can carry to full term, also good news. Your doctor is correct, other than the obvious things like staying away from drugs and alcohol there's nothing you can possibly do to prevent a miscarriage. People told me not to stress out too much and just relax--they wanted to help but this advice wasn't really helpful for me personally. All I can say is when you get those panicky feelings just take a deep breath, close your eyes and think positively. I also talked to my baby (in utero)...what else can you do, really? Exercise always made me feel better and sleeping as much as possible, which was difficult with work, etc. Ask your partner, or a trusted friend or relative to be supportive too, I found that it helped me to talk about my anxiety instead of pretending that it didn't exist (because it does no matter what people say to try to talk it away)and it's o.k. to acknowledge those feelings too.

Furthermore, I was lucky enough for the first trimester to get frequent ultasounds (I was considered "high risk" due to the two miscarriages and my age, 36 years). Ultrasounds were actually anxiety provoking as this is how I found out about the two miscarriages but seeing a breathing heartbeat was always wonderful and brought me to tears every time.

Also, before I became pregnant the third time, my doctor prescribed me progesterone suppositories to take around ovulation time. I'm not sure if this is what did it, but my third pregancy was succesful.

I'm not sure what else to tell you...I'm in great shape and always have been and I eat well. I have a supportive family and husband and many nieces and nephews (so I never thought that "I" would have a miscarriage). I read a book called "When bad things happen to good people" and did some soul searching and although not a religious person I feel like my little angel is a gift from God.

I hope that this helped, although there are no "concrete" suggestions here. Just keep the faith and know that your body will do whatever necessary, good or bad. I just keep thinking that my other pregancies were terminated due to some type of defect and that it was my body's way of responding. Take care and do the best that you can...that's all you can do for now. I wish you and your family the very best!

P.

when I was pregnant I used to think these thought too. I never had a miscarriage. You are experiencing invasive thought. They happen to a lot of pregnant woman. You need to tell yourself that you refuse to focus on the negative. Miscarriages are sad and I am sorry that it happen to you, but there is a great chance that everything will go smoothly and that is what you should try and think about every time your thought start taking you down a dark road.

I miscarried twice. Once at 8 weeks, and the other at 12 weeks. As long as you weren't drinking, smoking.. the common sense things, there was nothing you can do and nothing you can do now except try and stay calm and avoid stress. I advise trying to get into the doctor for an ultrasound as soon as you can. It is soooo reassuring to see that little heart beating!! Good luck and congratulations!