Newborn Won't Sleep Anywhere but on Us

Both my children were like this. Have you tried swaddling? You should read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It saved us from constantly sleeping upright! Neither of my children (my 2nd is only 7weeks old) would sleep for more then a few minutes in their crib without being tightly swaddled and having a very large fan on high in their room.

Congratulations!

I agree with all of the other mothers who said this is normal. My son - who is now 2, would not sleep anywhere buy on someone for the first 12 weeks. After about 6 weeks, you could get him into a deep sleep and put him in bed with us, where he would stay asleep. He did start to nap in his crib, and sleep part of the night there by 5 months - so there is hope. If you can, sleep when he sleeps, ask friends and family to help a little bit, and enjoy the snuggling and cuddling before they want nothing to do with you.

Also, I agree, he is too young to cry it out. That usually is not recommended before 16 weeks, and for many not until they are 6 months old.

Congratulations!

Do not get him in that routine of sleeping on you. I know its easy right now because you are at your wits end but YOU need your sleep too! I have 2 kids, a 3yr old boy & a 16 mo girl. My son was an angel who slept through the night by 8 weeks of age in his crib. He started off in a bassinette. My daughter was a totally different story. She was stubborn & COLICKY! Would NOT sleep in the bassinette, crib, swing, anything. What worked was putting her in her car seat and we walked around the house for about 1/2 hr-45 mins carrying her around by the handle. After she fell asleep, we then put the car seat into the bassinette or crib. Then we turned on the "white noise" machine that I bought at TARGET & they stayed on for about an hour. This is how she slept every night, in a car seat for 8 wks. At her 8 week visit to the DR., I was told she has to get used to a sleeping in a crib. So...for 2 weeks straight I had to teach her to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. It worked! Those 2 weeks were LOOOOONG but it was worth it in the end. Hang in there...I know it's tough! As I would say to myself in the middle of the night when Mia wouldn't sleep (and I am crying my eyes out in despair)...."This too shall pass"..and it DID!

Very normal. My son didn't sleep in his crib until he was 3 months. Prior to that he slept with mom, in our bed, in our arms, in the sling, in the bjorn, in the swing, and on the couch next to us. Enjoy this time, when they hit toddler hood you will be lucky to even get a hug ;)

My son did this and we ended up putting him in the bed with us and he would fall right asleep. Their on infant beds that you can stick in the bed between you and your husband. Remember, he is only a week old-I wouldn't let him cry it out-he needs you right now. You need sleep though, so put him in the bed. It will work:) Congrats!!

Please do not listen to what Alina posted. Nothing personal, but there is NO expert who will tell you a newborn under a month or two should cry it out. Absolutely none. DO NOT let him cry it out at this point. If that is what you choose to do ultimately that is your choice but letting a young baby cry is absolutely detrimental at this point in his life. You need to hang in there - it gets much much better but you also need to sleep when he sleeps during the day. Do not do anything else during that time because if you sleep on his schedule you will not be a zombe. Trust me. Been there done that. My daughter did not sleep through the night until about a month ago and she is 2 almost (this saturday) so it depends on the child and its temperment and I promise it is all worth the "spoiling" them when they are this little because you will look back and miss it more than you can ever ever imagine. Just let him sleep with you either in a bassinet, arm's reach, or on top of you with bare skin exposure. He will quickly ease up and enjoy every second of your presence. ENJOY this time! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi H.,

Congratulations on the new baby. If the baby has a clean diaper on, is not hungry and is time for a nap, it is ok to let him cry. He will eventually get used to his crib.

It is a good idea to start now before he is older and then it will be even harder to break this habit.

You could buy him one of those teddy bears that have a heart beat sound that you could attach to the crib. that would help him relax.

Good luck with you new bundle of joy!

Hi H.:
My four year old was the same way. I slept proped up in bed or on the couch for the first few months. So I guess i am writing to say that it happens and the babies need for touch is a good thing this young and that you shouldn't fret too much as long as you can get some sleep.
BUT, I am also writing to say that, my daughter is 4 years old now and is sleeping in her own bed as long as I sit next to her until she is asleep. So the sleeping patterns I started 4 years ago have stayed with us. But I am a single mom so I did nt' have a partner to help ...
You also might want to check out some of the books on sleeping habits and decide what will work best for you, your family and your style. Good luck-R.

We have 5 children, We slept with them all, We had family bed right on up until they felt comfortable about getting in another bed. My 6 year old still sleeps with some sister or brother every night. One child,my second daughter transition by herself at 3 no problem and does not share a bed with anyone. Humans are not made to be alone. Especially not babies, God sent them to us and we have to keep them near. No such thing as crib death until cribs were invented . If it were true folk rolled over on babies no humans would exist until the early 1900's. It is a fib your baby needs to be distant from you. Babies need to be close, they die with out us.
I.

Congrats on your new baby! This is perfectly normal and in my opinion you ought to give the kid a break. After all, he's been out in the world for only a week. Can you really blame him for feeling safest snuggled up next to mom or dad? The world is a scary place. I would try putting him within arm's reach of your bed at night - either in bed with you or right next to it. You can swaddle him and lay him down and put your hand on him so that he knows you're there. I would not just leave him, and he is far too little to cry it out. I think at this age just putting your hand on his chest and letting him know you're there for him (talk/sing to him) will help him learn that it's ok to fall asleep alone and that you're not leaving him.

Hi H.,
My daughter also had a hard time sleeping anywhere but on us...until we got the Amby baby. Look it up online, it's a great bed for infants. It keeps them a little upright (I think my daughter had some reflux issues) and all snuggled in and you can swing and bounce it. It's great, check it out.
Good luck!
I.

Hi H.,
For the first 3 weeks we had trouble with this too. Our pediatrician shared with us how she had to sleep in her recliner for the first MONTH with her son before he would sleep in his crib. So, what you are experiencing is normal.

I chose not to co-sleep. It may be right for you and your family, but it was not something I wanted to do. I felt that I would only have to break that habit when my son got older because I knew there would be a time when I wanted to get sleep of my own. I did not want to have to go through weeks of forcing my child to sleep in his own room - imagine how that might feel like punishment - "why can't I sleep with mommy anymore? what did I do wrong?". At the same rate, MANY parents successfully co-sleep and have WONDERFUL results, so do what feels best for you.

For our son, we let him sleep in his room strapped into his vibrating bouncy seat from week 3 til week 8. Sometimes we had to rock him for 15-30 minutes before putting him down, but once we got him down he was good til the next feeding. At week 8, we switched him over to his crib and he had no problem transitioning. We also swaddled him with a SwaddleMe blanket. Our bedtime routine was the exact same thing every night, and we turned on our white noise (ocean waves) before leaving the room).

Around week 8 he started dropping the middle of the night feeding and started sleeping from 10:00 pm until 6:30 am. Now, at 4 months he goes to bed at 8:00 - 8:30 and wakes up around 6:30 - 7:30. I don't know about you, but that sounds like FANTASTIC sleep to me!

Good luck to you - I know how vitally important sleep is!

Congratulations on the new baby!
My daughter co-slept between my husband and I until she was almost 6 months old.She's now 19 months and sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am every night in her own crib. I never let her cry it out. There were so many people who told me that I would have to, but I just didn't have the heart. I worried and stressed about whether I was making the right decision every day, and in the end, I know I did.
The only other bit of advice I can give that hasn't already been given is to find a "lovey" blanket for him. Whenever you get opportunities to sleep on your own, sleep with the blanket and don't wash it. You can also snuggle the blanket between you and the baby when you're nursing. Eventually the blanket will smell like mommy and he'll associate it with nursing and comfort. You could also try swaddling him in that blanket and see if it helps him sleep better alone. Even if it doesn't work now, it may help the eventual transition to sleeping alone. We did this with my daughter and it worked great.
Co-sleeping safe as long as you take the proper precautions. There are a few books on the subject. I can't think of any at the moment, but I'm sure if you google it, you'll find something.
Good luck and enjoy every snuggly moment. Like the other mom said, eventually he'll be a toddler and you'll be lucky to get a hug! (cracked me up!)

H.,

I don't know that I can offer much advice, but I can offer some hope. We had the same problem with our little boy (born 12/16/06). He was 3 1/2 weeks early and would only sleep when being held. Same problem - put him down asleep - wakes up screaming in minutes. It took a few weeks, but once his vision improved and he could really see where he was (mobile, bumper, etc) he was OK in his crib. Now he sleeps through most nights without us. Until then - I took him to bed with me - not what I intended either, but I had to sleep! Our Dr. told us that until he could see well, he had to feel someone to know where he was. It took a little longer with ours because he was early, but it did happen.

Hang in there
G.

Oh I remember those days! Did you try swaddling-really tight? That helps a ton! Our baby was the same way until we put her in her swing or bouncy seat swaddled. We had the fisher price baby papasan for both and the cradle part of it reminded her of the womb. Also, have you seen the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block"? It has great tips. For now, sleeping on you is probably fine but if you do it too many more weeks, she will get used to it and not sleep on her own. At this point though-do what you need to do! A well-rested (well..semi-well-rested mom is a better mom). We even had her bouncy seat in the crib until she was 3 months old. If it is any consolation, it will get much better. We have a 6 month old who sleeps 6:30-6:30 in her crib sprawling out!

H.:

your son is acting very "normal" he is accustomed to your smell, and sounds. try putting him in bed next to you or between you and your husband. this is safer and you can get some sleep.

P., RlC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com