Contact your local La Leche League right away. Caring moms who have seen it all. They can come straight to your house! The sooner the better.
Pumping and partial bottle IS double duty but if that is what is required, hey, that's nothing. It will only last a few days, anyway, as things settle down. I don't think you will have to, but if it comes to that, really, a tough couple of days, turning into an adjusting couple of weeks will turn into an easy rest of his feeding career. (And who doesn't have it rough no matter whether they nurse or formula feed, NICU or not...postpartum/newborn is tough! It will be over before you know it, though.)
If he is hungry, he will learn quickly. If you give him the bottle, he will learn to reject hte breast. My humble opinion. I defer to La LEche League.
Keep at it. Keep working with him, don't force *anything*, you are so close to having this sorted out. These problems really don't last long and as soon as your learn the right trick, you're in the clear, even of seemingly impossible problems!!
Your issues are very common, and I'm sure the La Leche League women you contact have seen far worse, and fixed it!
Google them now! Type in "La Leche League" then space bar, then your city or town name, then space bar, then your area code in parentheses. Hit Enter, and a number will come right up in the Google search results. Someone can probably be at your house within a couple of hours.
You don't have to give up on breastfeeding. And during this time of the year, you REALLY don't want to. Getting out of that warm bed, walking on that cold floor to mix formula in hte middle of hte night? Blah! Let your baby sleep with you - especially comforting for everyone after all the trauma - and nurse as he needs it through the night. You'll barely wake once you get hte hang of it.
For more info on sleep sharing, and how to wean him out of your bed whenever you're all ready, check out askdrsears.com. It's all so much easier than you think.
You're doing such a marvelous job. I know it's so hard right now. You will be so proud of yourself as you see your little baby thrive after his rough start!
Congratulations!
L.
PS outside of having a volunteer come to your home, you can also check out their website, llli.org to ask questions or see answers to similar questions from other moms.