New Mom Seeking Advice

Updated on April 08, 2008
L.K. asks from Lubbock, TX
16 answers

I am writing for my daughter because I do not have answer to this question. She has a brand new baby, only 9 days old. She had a very uncomfortable pregnancy and was sick and vomiting even through delivery. She had a natural delivery with no drugs at all. The baby weighed 6 lbs 13 oz. From the moment of his arrival, the pediatrician commented on how "gasy" he was, but gave no solution. When he went in for the check up last Wed. he had not gained weight but had lost. She was nursing him and had plenty to offer. He was having trouble staying awake to nurse and she got terribly engorged. She was using a pump because he couldn't take care of it. At the check up, the doctor said he had a lactose intorance and advised them to take him off breast milk and give him soy. THEN, more problems started. He began projectile vomiting. Friday, she went to a new doctor, went back to nursing regularly, however, keeping him awake is very very hard and he only nurses about 5-10 minutes every hour and a half. This morning, at "weigh-in" he was back up one once from last Friday, but still below birth weight. He weighed 6 lbs 1oz. My daughter is a perfectionist deluxe. She believes she is a failure. I nursed all 3 children, and her sister also was a nursing mom. We have just lost all confidence in the advice we are giving. Can you give us a thread to hang on to?

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D.O.

answers from Dallas on

If the projectile vomiting is truly that and not spit-up, I would recommend asking the baby's doctor about pyloric stenosis. One of my twins had pyloric stenosis and was diagnosed at 3 weeks old. My son was hungry but just could not manage to nipple enough to sustain his birthweight. When he was born he weighed 5 lbs 7.4 oz. He got down to right at 5 lbs. Now he is a happy, healthy 4 year old!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

It is common for babies to loose waight after birth. My daughter was both breast fed and formula fed. I was unable to supply enough milk to fill her tummy so we suplamented.

My daughter would always fall asleep while both breast feeding and bottle feeding. Mommy was her passy you could say...i constantly had to keep waking her up to feed her!!! She would never throw up my breast milk...but would the formula. We tried to give her gas medicine which didnt help, we thought she had acid refulx, we tried gentle ease formula, we tried soy (big mistake...diarea!) took her off it real quick!

Then we tried lactose free formula...worked GREAT! I am lacotse intollarent as well...so I do not drink milk which is prob why she wouldnt throw up my breast milk.

I would tell your daughter to stop eatting and stop drinking dairy while breast feeding. Take Calcium pills to supplament the calcium loss. This should help him hold the breast milk down. Get him off soy and move to lactose free formula.

When he reaches one odds are he might still be lactose intol. So slowly try regular milk...if the vomitting starts up try lactade milk. Which is about $3.50 - $4.00 or half a gal...costs a lot but makes for a happy child. Coming from a person who was forced to drink milk as a kid and feeling horrible every time. i will not get near milk to this day!!!

Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree. Most doctors only get concerned after 2 weeks with no weight gain. And the projectile vomiting is just spit-up. My daughter does it so hard sometimes that it comes out her nose! The doc said not to worry. Keep up the breastfeeding! It WILL get better. I had a couple of issues at first, but my little one is 5 1/2 mos. old, still breastfeeding and is in the 95th percentile for weight, and she was 6lbs, 4oz at birth. Now, a healthy 17lbs! And still growing!

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

ALL children loose weight from the hospital...no worries. If she cuts milk products out of her diet there is NO reason that she can't breastfeed. They usually gain back their birth weight by the 2 week check up. I would tell her to relax and just be sure that the baby is having plenty of wet and poopy diapers. If the baby is falling asleep during feedings - strip them naked and then try to nurse. Tickle their cheek...wet washcloth on the face...it wakes them up! But more than anyhting, tell her to relax. Babies sense the stress that Mom feels. I breast fed my first 10 1/2 months and my second 14 months...tell her it gets easier and soon she will feel like that is all she ever does!!! Good luck and find a GOOD pedi!

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

I also recommend nursing the baby skin to skin. My son would always fall asleep as well. We had better luck with him naked or in a diaper only. Did he still try to doze off at times? Yes. However, I learned that if I would try to pull my nipple out of his mouth he would go at it again with earnest. If he thought he was loosing it, he latched on and went back to work. I breast fed him until he was almost two. He loved nursing, he was just a sleepy little thing.

I am glad that she has started nursing again. I do hope the porjectile (or even non-projectile) vomiting has ceased. As long as he is gaining some weight and any medical problems have been taken care of or known not to be an issue, stick with it. The pay off for his health and hers is so great. Then of course, there is the bonding that is a big plus as well. She is not a failure, she is a new mom. I had nursed my son for almost two years. When my daughter came along, it was soooo hard. She was a hard headed little toot (still is) and she did not like being nursed. We finally figured out that if I used the "football hold" she would nurse fine. That was the ONLY way she wanted to nurse for months. So, maybe talking to a lactation nurse at the hospital would be a good idea as well.

Oh! Another thing I did with my son was to move him from one breast to the other quicker than normal. It would wake him up enough to start over again.

Hope some of this helps. Great luck to her and congratulations to you.

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hello. I would just tell her to not give up. I have a 6 week old and it took a while for him to latch on because he spent his first days in NICU and I couldnt nurse him. Also, tell her if she tenses up or is real frustrated, the baby picks up on it. I have also had to sprip my little one down to a diaper to keep him awake. You can also wipe a warm cloth over the babys face. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

My baby was the same way. She lost 15% of her birth weight in the early days, but is now 6 weeks old and growing like a weed on my breastmilk. The first three weeks were really hard. I used Mylicon to help her with the gas. She still has some problems with gas, but it is under control. My baby also is a frequent feeder and has about the same pattern of every hour and a half or so during the day but recently has started going 3 1/2 to 4 hours at night. YAY! Basically I am saying it DOES get better. I also pump - and use that milk to let my husband do a feeding every alternating night. Some say that could lead to nipple confusion, but I have never known anyone that had that problem. It sure does make me a better mom to not be so exhausted all the time. I highly recommend letting daddy do his share! As for baby falling asleep during feeds - I make it a point to change her diaper once she starts to fall asleep. That always wakes her up and I give her a chance to eat more right away. Good luck, and have your daughter join mamasource. We are all here to help other moms. She'll find some great support here.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Personal experience.

Your daughter needs to continue breastfeeding but cut out citrus, dairy, and wheat (gluten) from her own diet. If she has to have milk stick with lactose free cow milk or goat - not soy.

My 4 year old has more food sensitivities than you can shake a stick at, but following the same dietary restrictions that he is now on let me nurse him until well after his first birthday without problems. It also gave us a leg up on introducing solids - we had a good idea of what kind of foods would give us problems.

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

If nursing is important to your daughter, tell her not to give up. Vicki is the lactation consultant at Presby Allen and is wonderful. You do not need a referral to a lactation consultant with most insurances. Presby Allen will file for you. Just call the hospital and ask for the lactation nurse. They will transfer you and you can schedule an appointment. I nursed both of my children and Vicki was a juge help. Also, you might want to read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is really for colicky babies, but there is information on why some babies are more gassy than others. It totally made sense to me and made me feel like I was doing all I could and the rest would just take time.

Best of luck!!!

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A.E.

answers from Dallas on

Please tell her not to worry - it will get better. Lot of babies fall asleep nursing. Try to prevent this because it's a terrible (and exhausting) habit for them to get into. Not letting the baby get to comfortable is the key and several moms gave great suggestions about how to keep them awake. I had to do those things until my daughters got used to staying awake. Also, her milk may be coming down fast. My girls would seriously nurse SUPER FAST, but it's because they were getting plenty in such a short time (7 mins on each, if I remember correctly). Even when my girls were older 3 & 4 months, they never nursed more than 22 minutes total. Every body is different, and she'll find her niche.

Being engorged is normal, at least it is for everyone I know at this early stage. Once her milk supply levels off, it will be fine. I know she's sore now, but keep pumping to relieve the pressure... but not too much that the supply increases. Le Leche League is awesome, free, and what every nursing moms needs when she's stressed about nursing.

As far as the vomiting, check with your dr, but as long as the baby is not loosing too much weight and is having enough wet & poopy diapers he is probably fine. My youngest would projectile vomit pretty frequently, but was gaining weight perfectly. She had a little reflux and the doctor precribed some meds for it, but it got better on it's own. They even did a test to make sure she didn't have a blockage in her intestine, but she was perfectly fine.

For gas, Mylicon (or the store brand alternatives) are a God send. My babies were both breastfed and I relied heavily on that stuff. Seriously, it's perfectly safe and it really did the trick with my girls and their gas.

Please tell your daughter not to worry or stress out about it. It takes a little time to get the hang of it for some moms, and if she's stressing out about it then figuring it out will just take longer. I am no expert by any means, but if she would like to talk things out or needs more reassurance please feel free to message me. Nursing is hard work (contrary to what many think), and by the time she gets it all down perfectly it will be time for him to move on to regular milk.

Best of Luck!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would have your daughter call a lactation specialist. I had wonderful luck with Presby Plano. My son was in the NICU and they were just wonderful working with us on nursing. Try not to give up if that's what she really wants to do. But you need to balance it with what's best for the baby. Newborns often fall asleep at the breast. Break the suction and change his diaper, use a slightly cool washcloth on his feet, rub his head. This should stimulate him to start waking up. If he's having lots of good wet diapers then he's not dehydrated and is taking enough. Remember, he's only 9 days old. He's not going to eat that much. PM if you need anything else. I am a pedi RN and have experience with helping new mommies breastfeed. M.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

I became engorged and even got an infection from a lazy nurser. I would suggest perhaps she look at her diet regarding his gassy spells and vomiting, perhaps he is having problems with some transfer in the milk. Try a blander diet if she can.

There are lactation consultants available, please do not hesitate to call them!! There wouldn't be a job like these people if this was easy and a breeze for everyone.

Let her know that she is NOT a failure and don't give up! Every baby is different and every baby nurses differently. Keep trying and use the support systems out there!!!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

It's very common for babies to lose some weight in the beginning. I'm glad she found a new ped that seems a bit more reasonable too btw. She has not failed in any way. She just may have gotten some bum advice initially which may have set her back. Add to the fact she is probably hormonal to the extreme, I can so relate.

Have her (or you can as well) get in touch with her local La LEche League. You don't have to be a member and meetings are free. You can contact leaders for advice and they can help you find a lactation consultant if needed. I found my ped to not be very helpful at all when it came to breast feeding. I was shocked by the number of people who felt the same.

Regarding the baby that falls asleep.... That was my son to a T. He was the classice "nip and napper". What I ended up doing was trying my best to keep him awake while nursing of course. I'd have him nurse in a diaper only. I've heard limiting skin contact can help too. I'd also tickle him a little bit when he started to doze. I've heard of people using wet washclothes as a last resort too. I also let him nap on the breast. I got myself a boppy and set up my nursing "station" near the tv and my husband got me a reading stand so I could read hands free. I caught up on a lot of returns and read a lot of books the first few months.

Another thing my OB recommended was a little beer with dinner to help me relax. I'm not talking a lot here and with dinner too. I think coming from a type A workaholic life before the baby made my adjustment afterwards a little difficult some days. I wonder if your daughter could be going through something similar. You can't be a control freak and have a baby I've learned (the hard way some times). They are a humbling lesson in how we are NOT in control. LOL. I think the number one thing to remind her is to not get stressed out because this will only make things more difficult for her in the long run. She is NOT a failure. She's just a new mom and struggling like we all did at various times along the way.

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L.K.

answers from Dallas on

Please have her contact a lacatation consultant. even if she didn"t deliver at a Presby hospital she can still call and speak with one. I am very pleased with Vicki Gettles at Allen Presby. She can even go in and ask to see her if she wants. If your daughter is set on continued nursing then I would definitely try the lactation consultant route. Good luck!

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, I had some of the same problems with my son and when i changed to formula (after trying breast for 3 months..didn't have enough and the baby was getting tired) I changed formulas a few times and what worked great was Similac soy and for less gas I used Dr. Brown bottles(target or babies r us. When breastfeeding tell her to use nipple guard if not already(target. I wished someone told be about that....I night have breastfeed longer.

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

To ensure that the baby gains weight, which is very important early on, have her breastfeed and then pump afterward...feeding the baby the "pumped" milk with a bottle. My son was born 6lbs. 9 oz. and quickly lost weight as well. At his 1 week check up, this is what the pedi recommended. By our next weigh-in he was back up to birth weight and we could stop the "pumping" part of each feeding. Most newborns are sleepy during feeds b/c it's so soothing. What worked for us was nursing skin to skin or at least undressing the baby down to his diaper. Gently stroking under his chin or on his cheek worked too.

As for the gas and projectile vomiting....her baby could be milk/soy intolerant. This happened with my 2nd born. I continued to breastfed, just eliminated ALL foods made with milk and soy. It was a difficult adjustment (b/c I love cheese, yogurt, bread, etc.) but it was worth it! My baby had less gas and fussy periods through out the day.

Have your daughter contact a Lactation Consultant and share her situation. Plano Presby has been VERY helpful :)

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