I am a newly Stay at home hip mama which has been a HUGE adjustment for me I really dont have any others friends with kids and my boyfriend works from home all day/night so i dont get too much interaction with the "outside" world.. i watch TV ALL-DAY it's disguting but, I play with camille (my baby) while i am doing this.. i keep on house work and laudry .. is it wrong to say i am getting bored?? i love my baby and we have fun, but, i just dont feel like where getting enough stimulation..
I NEED ANY ADVICE please.
Hello
My name is P. S. No I dont think it is wrong you need your own time as well as baby time. You and your boyfriend go to a movie are dinner. You guys need time together are you will GO NUTS!!!!
P. S
Stacy gave you some great suggetions! Just what I was going to say. How old is your baby? I know I recently checked into story hour at our library when my daughter was 10 months old and they do have programs for the little ones AND it's free. I've been wanting to join a place by us called The Little Gym, they also have programs. Is there a Gymboree by you? They would have programs too, depending on the baby's age. There's nothing wrong w/feeling the way you feel, there's lot's of moms who do. I would just start checking around for things to do.
S.
J.,
What is a "hip" mama?
What you are feeling is normal. Get in touch with your local preschool PTA (check you library, they should be able to point you in the right direction). Also, the libraries have alot of activities that give you time to be out among other at-home-moms. Look, you will find us, we are everywhere. Good Luck
Hi J.!
I went through the same thing when my son was born. My boyfriend worked during the day and, for a few months, we shared a car. I had the worst cabin fever! I thought I would lose my mind. You can only goo-goo gaa-gaa talk for so long until you start talking to adults like that without realizing it. I only had a couple of friends that had kids, but they were too old to really play with my son. But I also had a great group of friends that would come over during the day to keep me company or take me out to do something, whether it was go out for lunch somewhere, go shopping, or just run errands together.
I think one of the mistakes I made was kind of forgetting who I was before the baby. That kind of made the cabin fever worse. I didn't seem to have time to do the things I used to enjoy doing on a regular basis. I love to read, go to shows, and just have fun with my friends, who are all like family to me. And that's exactly what you need to do. Make arrangements with your boyfriend to have one night out a week or every other week. Make plans with all your non-Mom friends and just forget about diapers and formula and all the goo-goo gaa-gaa for a night. It doesn't have to be crazy or an all-nighter, just a release. Once you start doing that, you'll feel so rejuvinated. It really makes the rest of the week not as redundant. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE every moment I spend with my son, but EVERYBODY (I don't care who you are!) needs a break every now and then. Because relaxed moms are better moms. You don't feel so stressed so you can be more patient and attentive. And don't forget about dad! I'm sure he'd like to do the same thing. Hope this helps! Good luck!
M.
This is totally normal. You should look at your Stay At Home Mom status as your Job. Structure your day with a routine that works for you and your baby. Plan something for each day that gets you out. Library. YMCA. MOPs. See what's scheduled at your local cities recreation center and nature center. Give yourself a goal each week to have one activity out each day. You may not make your goal for yourself but it will get you moving and feeling less trapped.
Hi J.!
I was in your shoes last year at this time! I only work about 10-15 hrs/wk and the rest of the time I am home with my daughter. My husband travels 3 days/wk for his job so I am the primary care giver weekdays! I had such a hard time last year with being a new mom and being at home so much. I was always on the go! I watched so much TV I thought I'd go out of my mind! And with the weather like it is this time of year, you have no choice but to be inside! Talk about being bored! I can totally relate. I didn't really have any friends close by either. I checked into the local libraries and found some little groups for 2 and under. My daughter was pretty young, but it got me out of the house and gave me something to do!
Hang in there, warmer weather is coming and then you'll have a chance to get outside and walk or sit and get some fresh air! That always does us good!
Goodluck to you!
H.
J.,
You've got some great suggestions already. I am recently a Stay at home mother myself and started getting cabin fever after about 1 week. There's not alot to do with my 3 month old either but we find stuff. I go to the mall to just walk sometimes or even sit and people watch. If you ever wanted to join me we could meet up and get some adult interaction as well. Another thing we do is go to the Elizabeth Blackwell Center they have open gym times and it's free (until they can walk) I also recently heard that the Dublin Rec Center is only $2 and we just sit and watch kids right now but there are always adults to talk with while you're hanging out. Just a few suggestions for you. Don't go stir crazy!
It sounds like you have some great suggestions already. Just try to get out of the house every couple days or so, even if it is for errands. You'll feel more normal, you'll get some fresh air, and you won't have so much cabin fever. Plus, it will tear you away from the boob tube! Heck, sometimes I just go to Walmart or Sam's Club or the mall to get out of the house. I'm getting out and getting things done at the same time, so that's great. It also helps to set up lunch dates with friends. It's amazing how nice it is to just have lunch with another adult!
I understand too -- I do enjoy breaks from my son! It is very nice to have uninterrupted conversations with another woman! I do have to get out of the house every few days -- usually with him. We are involved in Christian moms/play group at Vineyard, we go to the YMCA (they have childcare while you work out and we do classes together), we also go to baby -- now toddler storytime and spanish storytime at the library... My TV is never on --- we just don't do TV, so when I am not cleaning then we are reading books and doing fun stuff.. If you are interested in going to any of these fun baby things with me, email me. I also try to get out once every now and then to shop alone, even if I have to get a sitter. My husband and I go on "date nights" about once a month and that *really* helps, we really enjoy that time alone.
email me --
____@____.com
I went thru the SAME exact thing!!!!! There are numnerous things out there. Have you ever heard of MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers)? it is actully moms with kids preschol-age and under. It is a way for Moms to get together (kids in tow or not)and socialize usually twice a month - some more often. Check out there website www.mops.org.
You could call your local library and they can tell you of children's activities. Or call the hospital where you delivered and ask them if they know of anything.
If nothing else, post a request for a playgroup right here on MamaSource? Get moms in your area together and meet once a week. I hope I have given you some good starting points. It is difficult with the weather, the cabin fever stikes hard. Good Luck, S.
