New Baby Number (2)

We waited until after the first trimester and then told my 3 year old son. We talked about it all the time. I took him to the Dr with me so he could hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound.

Hello my name is J. and I have two little boys. Liam will be 6 in Oct and Gavin will be 2 in August. Liam was about the same age when I found out I was pregnant and I told him right away. I included him in everything from help with his name name to picking out his stroller and even helping with my registry. I spoke to him about what a great big brother he was going to be an bought books.He also came to all my ob appts and I kept him very involved in the whole process. He would lay on my belly and sing to him everyday. I made sure he didnt feel like he wasnt getting replaced. He is the best big brother Gavin could of hoped or dreamed of. Honestly if it wasnt for him I probably would have lost my mind after the new baby. My husband works long hours so it was just the three of us and he was the biggest help. He still is now. I hope this helped and if you have any questions feel free to contact me at ____@____.com luck and congrats!!!!

I agree with some of the other users about waiting a little while to tell her. 9 months is a long time to hear 'Is it time for the baby yet' everyday, lol. But I would let her watch TLC with you (A baby Story and Bringing Home Baby) because it will prepare her. I don't have a 2nd yet, but we will try in about a year and my 4 year old watches those shows with me now. She is the most educated 4 year on births you will ever meet! She knows way too much, prob (she knows, for example, what an epidural is and what it is used for, and contractions, and umbilical cords....the list goes on and on). But she is also prepared. Our close friends had a baby just this Tuesday and she was very excited about it, and knows what she can and can't do, and what the baby needs, etc. They are very good shows for both moms and kids!

I have 3 young kids: 5,3,&2. With my 2 older ones, I told them pretty much right away that they were going to be a big brother and sister. I told them that there was a baby in my tummy. They always wanted to lift up my shirt and look at my stomach! It helped alot because they felt like they were a part of what was going on. Whenever I would get a gift for the baby they would help me open it. It also helped that a lot of people would bring them a little something as well so they didn't feel left out. When I had the babies, they got to come and see us in the hospital and my husband would get a little gift for them to give to the new baby.

Kids need time to adjust to change. On the other hand...7 months is a VERY long time for a 3 year old. I would defin. make her feel a BIG part of this, but I may wait until you just start begining to show. You do not want her to be scared of what is happening to you. I would also think of this a great teaching tool. Being 3, there are some things not to explain, but I think she will be so happy to be a part of such a big thing in your families life. And I am sure she wouls love to help with the nursery, laundry, dishes, so much to do for a new LO. I wish I had a little helper! And being a big sister is a great achivement...especially for a 3 year old. Let her be soo proud!
Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope goes very smooth for you.
~S

C., my 1st child was 2 when I got pregant with #2 and I told her right away, and when my stomach got bigger, I talked about the new baby all the time, and she even sung to my belly.. fact is, I dont think she had any idea what was going on and maybe she said there was a baby in my belly, but she had no idea there really was actually a baby in there.. all she knew is that we went to the dr. and brought home her baby sister, and she loves her so much that it is amazing. whatever you decide to do I'm sure will be fine for your daughter - she is older, so she may understand better and actually want to help you with the baby when it gets here. good luck..

I got my daughter a few books about being a big sister and I also made a construction paper chain counting the days down to my due date. One link for every day that she could tear one off before bed each night. She got so excited as it got smaller. I would wait to do the chain until you have about 2-3 months left because the chain I made wrapped around my daughters room twice! LOL! Just make a big deal about how important being a big sister is and how special she is herself. Be honest about the changes that will happen so they don't come as a surprise and make sure she knows you did all those things with her when she was a baby. My oldest was 3 when I had my second and she understood so much and was so helpful when the baby came because I took the time to explain things to her. Good luck and congratulations!

Hi C.. If you are through your first trimester than I definately think you should talk to your daughter about the new baby. You probably don't realize but she already knows something is different about you. (Kids that age can smell the changes, I swear) You should include her on everything baby related, let her talk to her new sibling and rub the "baby belly". This will be exciting for her and a good way to help her get ready for being a big sister. The more you include her now the more likely she will adjust well to the new baby when it arrives. Let her help you with preparations for the new baby and talk to her about being a big sister. I am the oldest of 5 kids and I think that each of my siblings handled the new additions very well because we were involved throughout the pregnancy, even giving name suggestions.

The most important thing is to tell your daughter that you love her, and show her. This way when everyone is making a fuss over the new arrival, she will feel confident and secure in her relationship with you and she will be able to make her own fuss over the new baby, instead of feeling like she is being replaced.

Good luck and God Bless!
H.

my son was 3 when my baby was born
I didn't say anything until my belly was huge, lol! he didn't ask either...
but when I did tell him, I had books (you'rea big brother, what baby needs, etc) & I read them a lot
I also told him the 'story' of him being born and how he's grown, etc- on his level- and explained there is room in our hearts for a lot of love, etc
w/ my son, repitiion is really helpful...

When I found out I was pregnant with my son my daughter wasn't even two yet. I told her as soon as I found out that mommy was having a baby and she was gonna be a big sister! My fiance and I would then use every baby we would see as an opptunity to tell her that " thats a babby, see, just like the one in mommys belly, hes gonna come out soon and you'll be a big sister!". My doughter responded great, she would talk to my belly kiss it ,and even run iver to it and kiss and talk when she would see a baby on tv! Now that my son is here she is little miss mom, when he cries she will give him his bottle or make a point to make sure mommy knows he's crying! lol. Every child is different as we nkow so I don't know how your daughter will react, but I feel its always best to let them know up front whats going on, so they don't resent an unexpected suprise! Hope this helps!
Krystal

My lil girl was 2 1/2 when I got pregnant. We just waited for the first trimester to be over, because that's the most likely time to lose the baby and I didn't want to explain that if it happened. As soon as I passed that point, I involved her as much as I could. They don't understand it all, but they do understand much more than we realize. We made sure she knew she would be a big sis, have a little brother or sister that the baby would be too little and helpless to play with at first but when they get older they could play together. We bought a boy doll after we found out it would be a boy and taught her how to hold it, feed it, be nice to it, help it out, etc. We were constantly trying to explain how things would change, and how to do things write, and why babies do certain things, so that when baby came she understood how to be a good big sis, yet still understood she couldn't do everything she wanted to with him. We read big sister books to her. We watched baby shows a lot (use your judgment about what you want her to see); we especially like the bringing baby home ones, the room makeovers for new mommies, and the new baby care videos. I also watched a lot of labor and delivery type shows, but that is totally up to you and hubby weather you want her to see that stuff. We tried to make her feel like she was as much a part of it and as much of a helper as we could reasonably. Another tip I got when I was pregnant that was a big help was to give her extra attention when baby comes so she doesn't feel left out. Just giving her little extra jobs like bringing stuff to mommy, helping hold the bottle, throwing away the diapers, handing mommy clothes to put in the washer and things like that kept her busy, made her feel helpful, and let her feel like a part of everything. We also gave her a little gift "from the baby" when he was born. Which she really enjoyed. I read lots of magazine articles about babies and all sorts of stuff.

I hope that helps. I think it makes much more sense to tell them early on, let them feel the baby, and involve them so they don't feel left out and unloved when the baby does come.

Hi C.,

I think you should just explain to your daughter about the new baby! Three is a good age, she will understand a lot quicker than you think. When I was pregnant with my son, my daughter was only 8 months old, and I explained to her in a way she couls understand. As my belly got bigger i explained that the baby was growing (our baby). Everyone thought I was crazy because she was a baby. When my son was born my daughter was so excited and she kept screaming "my baby is here". She told everyone and even now they are so close.
Explain what it means that there is a baby in your tummy. Let here watch A Baby Story with you and even let her help pick out things for the new baby. You want to get her excited and also let her know how much fun this can be for all of you! I do believe the more involved she is, will be the more she will understand and accept the new little one!
Good Luck ;-)
~ J.