New Baby Creating Panic for Sibling

I think she is just feeling a little jealous. Letting her see all the new things for the baby and special trips to see the doctor and stuff could just be upsetting her. My sister is pg right now and she told her 2 yr. old about the baby being in her stomach but hasn't mentioned more. One is because she just had a miscarriage in january and two, because the little one will see the baby soon enough. Right now she probably feel everything is about the new baby. Not enough about her. I'd take her for a treat just for her. Take her shopping for stuff just for her. Don't mention the baby for a while and see if that helps. Good luck!!!

My guess is that she's crying out for attention. Eventhough you including her with all the baby stuff....the focus is still on the babay. I would try doing something with her thats focused on just her. It really could be anykind of activity...playing games, going to the park, shopping for her (new panties or even a pair of new jammies...it doesen't have to be big & expensive) going for icecream....just do something for her with her.

We live in Iowa, so I don't know if this helps. But, our hospital has lots of classes for moms, siblings, fathers, etc.

Maybe you're talking about it too much. If everything things she's doing ends up revolving about how her "world" is going to change that can create anxiety.

We got a Baby doll for our son he was about 2, and since it was new he liked playing with it a lot, so we would interject sublime statements, like "is that your baby sister", or "you're rocking the baby very nicely". Thus, it was more about what HE was doing not doing something FOR the baby.

And he got along great.

She probably feels that since you are having a child of your own you will not want her. Share the pregnancy with her, let her feel the baby kick and everything! Also talk with her about how you'll need her help after the baby is born as well. Then when the baby is born...make sure to follow through. My five year old would fill bottles with water, get diapers, kleenex, and I even made him feel important by having him "keep an eye" on his brother while I went to put a load of laundry in. At 9 she can do a lot more. Most important, be sure to spend time with her ALONE.

A.,

Maybe you should practice caring for the new baby with your daughter. Show her how to feed the baby a bottle, change her clothes and diaper, rock her to sleep and emphasize the point that "this is what Mommy and Daddy did with you when you WERE a baby. NOW you are a BIG GIRL and you can help with the new baby." If you give her a sense of responsibility and show her that she is a big girl and only big girls are allowed to help with such "big tasks" she will want to be involved and leave her own baby ways behind. It is usually a pretty big deal to be the big sister and if you start getting her to think this way and focus on all of the new things SHE will get to HELP with instead of all of the new things that a baby will bring she will feel like it is more about her and won't try so hard for your attention - at least not in a negative way. Hope this helps and I understand how hard it can be introducing a new baby (or child for that matter) into the family. Through the years my cousins and second cousins alike moved in and out of my parent's house and it really does take a different perspective when raising children of a variety of ages :) GOOD LUCK!!

I agree with Jackie. I think making her feel like she will be such a "big girl" for helping because Mommy will need lots of help with the new baby. She will be such a "good sister" and you know she will be "such a big help once your baby sister arrives". Kids usually respond very well to praise and want to feel special.
My friend's son went through something very similar when his parents divorced when he was about the same age as your daughter. When the accidents happened they were tough on him because he knew better (difficulties in life don't excuse bad behavior), but when he wasn't being punished for his accidents they were extra loving to him, knowing he was having a tough time.

I think you should probably not involve her so much in your pregnancy right now as she is probably getting scared of all the fuss that is being made and the new baby isn't even here yet! The fact that she is reverting back to babyhood makes me think that she is feeling insecure about her position in the household and all can she see is that this new strange baby is so important and requires all this attention that she is wondering how important she is. Not to say that she shouldn't be involved as she needs to be prepared but sometimes the unknown is more scary than what is right in front of you. I am sure that if you spend more time making her feel important that by the time the baby gets here she will be happy to have a new friend in the home! Lets hope anyways! My daughter was 7 when her brother came along and it took her a while to adjust now they are close and she adores him, and he thinks she is the funniest person alive! But I remember her telling me when I was pregnant that she thought I might not love her as much when the new baby gets here, but I just kept assuring her that I have plenty of love for 2 babies and that she would always be special as she is the first. Good luck to you and your family, 1 baby is a joy but 2 babies are a blessing!

I think that she may be acting out for attention and this will pass. I think that you should just try and ignore the behavior by not making a big deal about it but make her help clean up the mess when she does have an accident. Keep reassuring her about her role as a big sister and continue to include her in things that have to do with the new baby. It sounds like she may be the type of child that has difficulty transitioning with new situations. I have a feeling that things will be back to normal in no time if you don't make a huge deal about the behavior.

my congratulations are first in order, as its exciting to be expecting a new baby, but boy the hardships when it comes to older siblings. My son was 4 at the time I was pregnant with baby #2, my 2 yr old daughter, and he had a lot of drama too. He had problems with bedwetting, in fact has to be on some medicine for it, so I really cant say much about that part of reverting back, but he did try many other things. One time someone asked him if he wanted a brother and totally ripped into the person. I had to chew him out for bad manners to an adult, which he burst into tears and we had to go home again. I truly believe he went thru some of my hormonal moments!! lol All joking aside, I did everything I could to make him apart of everything, however when we bought something for the baby, we made sure to get something for him too, and also buy some extra things so later when the baby got presents, we could slip some in for him too. Its not easy being the only child, then have another child thrown in and then as in your situations, be the baby of the family for as long, and now wont be the baby of the family anymore. Consistancy is the best thing now. Keep punishments the same as usual, but also talk to her and try to help her understand her own feelings. I know its hard to be pregnant, hormonal, and understanding all at the time time! He did have a few moments after the baby was born too, but now they are very good friends and play together and have fun together, even though there is 5 yrs between them. When daughter #3 coming, I tried to get my 2 yr old, who was only 1 at the time, involved too, but she could have cared less! We had more problems when the baby came home. Now she has worked out all her problems and plays great with our 9 month old. So, try to stay consistant and keep the schedule/routine the same and eventually all will come together. Good Luck!