New Baby and Husband

Mine wasn't all that helpful honestly. He was great with giving them baths (well really just taking them in the shower with him) and diaper changing...but he wasn't big on waking up in the middle of the night or holding them just because...he didn't mind getting them dressed, as long as I picked out and set out all the clothes...

But as soon as they were more mobile-it was on! He is a wonderful father and very involved...it was just really hard for him when they were newborns, so small and fragile and he really felt as if he wasn't needed by them (No Boobs! :)

I did my best to let him know that I needed him and that yes, the itty bitty babies needed him too!

Some are really helpful right away, some are much better when the kids are more than a lump of baby - when they're more interactive, etc. You need to ask for the help, because some just don't know what to do or how to help. Hope that helps a bit :)

Haha, not much. I had a c-sec and he did help out then while I was recovering but I do baby all day (and night). I stay at home and he works. He will help if I ask, but I have to ask. He just pretty much figures that I have it under control, and I think lots of guys do. My recommendation is that if you want help be specific and ask for it. Good luck!

I love my husband, but he didn't do too much with the kids until they were older (like oneish). This is our 4th baby and he admits he really doesn't know what to do when they cry. Although, he figures it out when I'm not here ;).

My husband was amazing. He got me earplugs so that I could sleep, and we took turns with night feedings. Whenever he was home from work he helped with everything - diapers, feedings, rocking, laundry, whatever. That was a great start, and now the boys are 6 and almost 13 and he is still a very involved dad.

My husband can't help me out too much because he is in his first year of residency and he is barely home. However, when he is home I make sure he helps me. First of all, he is his father. Second, I need a break. Third, he needs to spend some bonding time with his son, no matter how young he is.

Mine helps with everything. I'm pregnant with #4 and like my other three, this one will be a c-section, scheduled. My husband has always taken one month off from work to help. Even my own mom never helped me that much! He cooks, cleans up, takes care of our other children. I am blessed.

My Husband helped more on the weekends since he worked full time and had a job that he was on call 24/7. I was a stay at home mom and it was only fair, I could sleep when the babies slept. He would play and love on them when he got home and change a diaper or two, but mostly my job was the girls and taking care of him also. Hope this helps some. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. Take time for yourself every now and then. Girls Night Out with friends. Let hubby babysit!

Congrats to all of you with wonderful, helpful husbands - mine was useless..!!! We adopted our grandson at 9 month (he is 4 today) and he was still useless..!! Of course as they got older he was less useless but never great. He treats me like a queen so it evens out I guess.

My husband was a fantastic help! He helped with our son and he helped by cooking and cleaning and doing what ever needed doing. I changed most of the diapers, but he was wonderful with emptying the diaper genie several times a day. I was on 3 months maturity leave as soon as our son was born and my husband stayed home with me the first month. At 2am when it seemed our newborn had been crying for weeks, he drove us all around the airport for a half hour (our son always slept for car rides) so I could have a quiet half hour.

Mine is wonderful! He always takes about 3 weeks off from work when we bring home a new baby (we have 3 girls, ages 4yrs-3weeks) and does EVERYTHING except nurse them: diapers, baths, cooking, cleaning, handling the older girl's school stuff....everything so I can rest. Once he goes back to work, he still does more than the other dads we know. He really goes above and beyond :)

My kids both were in the NICU for a little while after birth and they would not release them until the nurses had seen us both feed (with a bottle), change and bathe the baby. We also had to learn to use the apnea alarm for the second baby. (she has sleep apnea but any time the alarm when off it was the machine having a problem, not the actual baby). I'm faster and more practiced at most things but he pitches in at busy times (morning, dinner, bedtime, getting out of the house to go someplace). He also helps when I ask him to do a specific job. Occasionally he will get a bottle if the little one wakes up and I'm sleeping or take both kids to play and let me sleep on a weekend morning. My kids are almost 2 and 4.5, not babies.

We are pretty much 50/50 and always have been. He is just as hands on with our daughter as I am. He knew that was how it was going to be before we had her. I was very up front with the fact that I would not have a child with a man and then be made to feel like a single parent. If we wanted kids then we both need to share the responsibility. And I don't feel I should have to ask him to care for his own child, he is intelligent enough to know what she needs and figure out how to handle that. Just because I am female does not mean I am going to be the primary caregiver. He is a wonderful father, but I would not expect anything less from him or any other man that decides to have children. There have been times when I stayed home while he was working full time, but I still expect him to resume his dad duties when he is home. My daughter has a wonderful bond with both of us.

Well, it's been 16 years, but I remember my husband would change and rock the baby back to sleep after I nursed at night. He was also in charge of bath time each evening. Best of all, he'd take the baby grocery shopping on Saturday mornings so I could sleep in.

By the time we had baby 2, he did all the same things, except grocery shopping. He stayed home with both babies and I got some away time.

He was also very good about watching the kids if I wanted to go out with a friend. In fact, I can't remember a time when he said no. On the other hand, I only asked once or twice a month.

For all that he worked 12-14 hours a day, he pitched in whenever he could.

Good luck!

My husband was great. He would change diapers, trying to calm down the baby, occasionally getting up in the middle of the night to bring me baby/change diaper, cook, clean, laundry, run to the stores to get things, etc.

That depends on the hubby. Mine was COMPLETLY useless till our son was at least 6 months old. He couldn't handle the cryinng the the multi middle of the night wake ups. Could have literally strangeled him, didn't expect it cause hubs was always very attentive to me and ready to do whatever I wanted of him. But after I threatened his life basically he woke up and became helpful and did about 30% of the childcare, better than zero. I'm assuming you are asking because yours isn't helping much yet??

My husband was all about helping ME for the first months, but he didn't enjoy helping with our daughter. Frankly he was just intimidated by how small and fragile a newborn seems.
It got better after a few months, but he didn't REALLY started bonding with her until she was closer to a year old.
She is three now and has daddy completely wrapped around her finger... for some men it takes a while.
If he is hesitant on helping with baby stuff, let him help in other ways around the house...
Good luck!

I usually did most things when we were both home (faster and easier), but he did things when I needed a break. After I went back to work at six weeks he was full-time caregiver during my work day, so he did everything. I have pretty much always done baths. He frequently snuggled the baby on the couch when I was sleeping and the baby could not at night to give me a break and let me rest and would just bring the baby up to nurse.

My husband has always helped with our kids and with the housework and cooking. I am a lucky gal in that way.

For some men I think infants are intimidating. They seem so small and fragile and usually men don't have the kind of experience with small children as women often do. Also infant are often more easily comforted by Mom in the few several months. After all they've been riding around in our bellys, listening to our voices and environment, and if you're breastfeeding that adds to it.

We have developed a routine where we alternate care. Or when the other person needs a break we verbalize that. Parenting is all about communication.

Good luck to you!
PS> I am originally from Cuba! Small world!

He took over the night feedings after about a month because I was physically spent. He changes, feeds, cuddles and loves on her. He keeps her when I need to run errands or want to go out with friends. He takes the baby monitor in the night if he's up late watching movies or playing video games. He slept in the guest room close to her for the first few months so I could sleep and he could easily take care of her. Best daddy in the world.