Neighbor Issues.

There is a very simple solution to this, it's called EARPLUGS! Go out and spend about $3 on a box of foam earplugs, slap a bow on it, and leave them on her doorstep.

Hi - oh I totally can see why you are walkingo n eggshells. If the leasing office doesn't have a problem with you and your children, I wouldn't worry about it. The lady who is complaining, needs to not work so much and then she wouldn't be so crabby.

Maybe, invite her in for a cup of tea and let her see that your children are playing and being kids. Maybe she has forgotten what it is like to have a kid or be a kid.

The Therapist also gave you a good idea, be honest... Even though it is none of her business, maybe she'll back off and if she really doesn't like it, she can always move.

Kids will be kids during their waking hours. I could see her point if it was like 1 a.m. and everyone was asleep.

Tell this neighbor, is she has a complaint to take it to the leasing office. Let them handle her complaint. Hope that helps.

Also, when I lived in an apartment.... there was a section for families and a section for non-families... Does your apartment have that?

I lived in a VERY tight neighborhood (and by tight, I mean that the houses were literally 6 feet apart from each other) in southern california for 10 years. My neighbors were old spiteful hateful fogeys. Thank GOD I only had one child at the time and she was pretty quiet as a baby, but they used to do some really crazy things. They never confronted us directly, but they would take a transistor radio and hold it up over the 6' fence that separated our properties blasting japanese radio when we got too "loud" (my husband is asian, for the neighbors on the other side of them, they would play mariachi music for the mexican woman). One day, I parked my car in front of his house because my spot was taken and he actually punctured my tire with an ice pick (we have a witness). Anyhoo, I just realized that they were so miserable that they had nothing to do with themselves other than be miserable and make everyone else miserable. So I just stopped getting angry and I did things that were meant to be nice, like bringing them christmas cookies and stuff like that. I actually started doing it to be genuinely nice, thinking that they needed a little bit of love, but then after I realized that they hated seeing my smiling face, I would do it EVERY holiday just to get saccharine sweet revenge!!

Try the thing about saying that your child has special needs, but I don't think she'll care. Maybe offer her some herbal tea and earplugs and tell her that you feel for her, and you hope that you can help her out any way that you can. If you want to go really crazy and get her a gift, I think you can get a white noise player for $15 or so! If that is the price of your sanity, so be it!! Don't let her misery make you miserable, you have enough to worry about raising two little children!

Tell that woman that she should get used to the noise as they are little ones and the noise level probably won't be changing for years to come. Give her a box of ear plugs and be done with it. Live your life, in your home, without worrying about every bump or scream from the kids. Life is stressful enough - you shouldn't have to concern yourself with the complaints from a neighbor!! Good luck, and I hope you can relax in your own home soon!
K.
kellyis.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

Well at least you can see from the leasing office that kids are kids especially one with special needs. I live with my parents and know when I move out it will need to be somewhere that can handle my loud children. I also have a child with autism and he can be REALLY loud. He can't help it though. We even work on showing him visual cards to show him what times we can be loud and what times we need to be quiet. Maybe you can try that.

Your child is still young though so your neighbors should probably be told what is going on so they can understand. Try sending her a card explaining your situation or just knock on her door and give her a pamphlet on autism and what you yourself are dealing with. You are strong to have two small children, including one with special needs, and not once did I hear you complain about your kids just your neighbors misunderstanding. Your kids are lucky to have such an understanding mom. Good luck and happy to hear you are getting early intervention from regional center. Let me know if you need any help, I have been around the block with school districts and regional centers.

Oh my word, I am SO SORRY this is happening to you! I can relate - my neighbor is psycho too! She doesn't work at night, but she has two kids and is pregnant. They have asked for several things; not to run the air conditioning during the day because it disturbs her nap, or not to run the pool equipment because she can't sleep. And why do are cars need to beep when we lock them, etc. Very unreasonable. They haven't complained about my kids and they know I can't stand them (maybe it is because I told them to move to a farm if they want complete quiet during the day)! and we have very good windows - she could close hers and turn on the air to block much of the life around her, but she says it's too expensive. I said, well, you have to deal with your decisions - not me.

I would suggest you tell the woman you are sorry she has chosen to have to sleep during the day, but that her requests are unreasonable and that the Apt. Manager agrees. Let her call the police - they will set her in her place! Do NOT walk on egg shells! She can either change her life so she sleeps through the night or she needs to buy ear plugs. To expect you and your very young children to not live during the day is stupid!!!!

But I know this is stressful and you sound like you have enough going on in your life without this added stress. I hope things settle down so you can enjoy your children!

First of all I would say - hang in there! This is not your fault and frankly not your problem...except that your neighbor is so forward in her complaints! I would tell your neighbor the next time she complains that you have every right to live your life in the apartment you pay for and if she doesn't like living next to you she is free to move. I would also tell her that because you are not breaking any laws (or even any rules of your apartment complex) that if she continues to harrass you regarding the matter that you will file a complaint with the apartment complex as well as with your local police department. After that conversation if she comes to your door again - call the police tell them you are being harrassed by your neighbor and don't answer the door. If she has to be told by the police to leave you alone maybe she'll listen. Hang in there! People can be so irritating. I'm sure she is tired and whatnot but seriously if she needs to work three shifts to pay her bills you are not the biggest problem she has, you are just the easiest target! Good luck.

I understand your pain. I have a nephew with Aspergers and it is very frustrating that people think that getting rid of or stifling children is a way of dealing with it. We need to accept that the world is made up of array of people, and that they all have a right to live their lives. I would take 100 of your kids in my neighborhood over one of your neighbors! Just know that what you are doing is fine and if she can't handle it she is more than welcome to find a glass house on a hill somewhere! -S.M.

Well just so you know your not the only one who has crazy neighbors I"ll tell you about mine, then you can at least have a laugh.

My neighbor is somewhere in her 70's and has lived here for close to 30 years. We live in condos attached on the side,

1.) if we are in teh back yard BBQ ing having friends over what ever, yes we stay very quite, she will start a count down at 6:00pm and ye;; over the fence ever 20 min to let us know that 10:00 is coming and that at 10 we must go inside and be quite. HAHA we always thank her for keeping us up to speed about the time,

2.) If we are in the back yard in the after noon and the kids start to play loudly she will turn on her radio as loud as it will go and blare classical music at us, (again we talk about how nice and soothing the sounds are coming from her home)

3.)We had an Asian family on the other side of her that was just as nice a people you could ever know, she actually went over and told them they may NOT cook dinner in thier home any more because she did not like the smell.

4.) Atleast once a month she brings her trash cans to my front porch and accuses my husband of running them over with the car

5.) I was on if we are going in and out our back door to much she will pull up a chair next to her own door and every time we walk through ours she will open and slam her own,

6.) When she comes to the door, she will always ask for my husband , she will not talk to me, even if it is something to do with that that she is nagging about.

7.) when my son was teething she came over and complianed about the noise and asked if I needed some whiskey to shut him up....

We laugh it off, I can't tell you how many times the cops have been called on us and they drive out here and look at our house and don't even get out of their car. She nuts and we laugh about it, (otherwise I'd kill'er) It's all you can do, if you know your in the right you have to accept there are just those people out there and you can look at them as seasoning in the feast of life.... Not all seasoning taste god but it sure makes the meal interesting!!!!

well....my neighbor only like, bangs on the wall when Nadia gets too loud, he has never come to our door or called the cops or anything...it still bugs me though...our HOA also complained that our 10 yr old neighbor who was strolling my daughter around was too young to care for a baby (i was in the house for like 5 minutes) and fined us 75 bucks, but we threatened to take them to court over it and they dropped the fine.

With the heat many people are becoming ugly, unreasonable and truly witchy....

I know I had that issue at one point, I lived on the first floor apartment. with 3 young sons and a preteen daughter. there were 5 of us living in a fairly large 1400 sq. ft 3bedroom apartment. well upstairs neighbor, whom by the way had no problems holding parties till all hours of the night on the weekends, was adamant and furious that when school started the noise started at my house at 630 am, not loud party noises, but little boys moving around, getting their stuff just morning stuff... no yelling... he said that he works until midnite and because the place is so hot he doesnt sleep until 3, so i need to keep my kids quiet until maybe 10. I told him to kisssssssssss my butt, call the leasing office because i was not breaking any sound rules and that was the end of it.

but... i held my ground and was firm, thats all you have to be with them.

good luck

R.

Hi M., I can see where this is a problem. I am so sorry that you have to go through this! Your right though, if this were 1:00a.m. in the morning I could see where this lady/neighbor would complain also the fact that the AM has not said anything means to me this lady is a very light sleeper.

Your AM seems very understanding and I would take her cues and do what you can but don't go walking around on eggshells. I also have a daughter that has autism (she's 5) and her screaming duting the day? Man!! I am surprised no one has called the police yet!!

You can vent to me! P.

M.,
I can sympathize with your problem. Although I don't live in an apartment my neighbor(s) are crazy. The one to the left has threatened to shoot my husband (yes I said shoot...like with a gun) if he comes on his property. He's called my husband a kik (although he's Irish) among other racist names. I could go on and on about his craziness.

We live up against an apartment building and have been fixing up our home. One tenant in particular has screamed at my husband for making to much noise with his tools. Keep in mind it's in the middle of the day. He's even called the cops on us. Needless to say the cops came by, laughed at the guy and walked through our house impressed with the work my husband had done.

We're not sure which one of our "crazy" neighbors called the building inspector on us but he came by to make sure we had a permit for the work. We did and he too walked through the house impressed with the work my husband has done.

I think what I'm getting at is that people will do things selfishly because they are unhappy. Don't let her get to you. Know that what you are doing is right and she is wrong to think that you can keep to small children quiet in the middle of the day. Tell her to piss off & move if she can't handle it. Keep on doing what you're doing!!

My husband and I have had bad neighbors in the past when we lived in an apartment. We lived below a guy who wanted to be a d.j. and would spin records in the middle of the night..it was horrible. I think this woman is being unreasonable. I work graveyards and even though I live in a house I can hear the kids next door playing in the backyard on their skateboard ramps especially since it is summer. It is difficult to sleep during the day but kids are kids and they are playing. Your neighbor needs to realize that too. Like you said it is not the middle of the night and your girls are just playing. Unfortunately apartment walls are thin. She needs to invest in a good pair of earplugs and turn a fan on. That seems to work for me and when I sleep during the day my son is in the living room with my Mom playing so there is a lot of noise going on around me. Take care and good luck!

You have gone above and beyond for this woman. Let her call the police. They will laugh in her face if they even acknowledge it. It's not nighttime, they are babies and you PAY to live there also, right? Eff her. Call the police on her if she keeps showing up at your door! Restraining order lady? Good luck & remember you have rights also

Hello, I would tell your neighbor she can either move or talk to the manager about it.

You manager is right. The lady is now invading your privacy and becoming now harrassing to you. I had the same problem when we lived in our apartment when my son was a baby. Next time the lady comes knocking on your door have a letter ready to give her. Advise her that sorry you have children but that is life. Find out from your local police department what the hours are for noise. Usually it is nothing before 7am or after 11pm. Find out the code and section number and refer to it in the letter. I went to my apartment manager and she got the Rules and Regulations for the bulding and I made a copy of that. Every apartment building has to have rules and regulations with bylaws. Also state in your letter that if she comes one more time to your door or within like 5 feet of you, you will be charging her with harrassment and file a restraining order. She may not like this and go to the manager, but there is nothing she can do. She may even call the police, but there is nothing they can do. Just make sure you write a letter to your manager and keep a copy of everything she is doing. So start with a letter to the manager and mail a copy to her. It should basically state that your neighbor is complaining about your children in mid afternoon and per the (this is where you will refer to the noise nuisance code) she is starting to harass you. Advise them at this time there will no action taken, but if she continues to come knocking on your door you will have to take further action. Don't state what the action is, it is just implied. It is also up to management to get involved if she is crossing the line. It sounds like they will be understanding, just make sure everytime she does something you write a letter about it and give it to management and send a copy to her. If you write in your letter you will be taking action make sure you follow up on it.

Good luck

i dont have any advice... but i want to give you a ((hug))
glad your dad put her in her place.
imho
next time she comes over tell her to kiss your a$$

F her! you cant tell your kids to be quiet because someone doesnt want to hear them. thats what happens in apartments you have to coexist. i live in an apartment too. i sure wish i could tell whoever is freakin smokin cigarettes to stop! it smells so bad... yes there is a noise limit after ten that is usually for music, parties, television etc. not babies or kids. do the best you can to get them to bed at bedtime and dont worry about your neighbor, tell her to complain to management not you.

Hi M.,
I feel for you. Please know that your kids have just as much right to be there as your neighbour. If she doesn't like it, offer her some suggestions, she can wear headphones, ear plugs or simply tell her to get a life (but of course in a nice way LOL). Kids will be kids. They are a gift, don't ever allow anyone to make you feel bad about having such an exciting gift, loud, quiet or otherwise.

It may sound funny but...don't worry...be happy! Your emotions reflect in the kids behaviours. They are worse than animals... they sense fear and stress and feed off of it. But on the same note, they sense happiness and patience and THRIVE off of it! I wish you much joy, you sure deserve it.

B.
www.HeyYouGetReal.com

I know it has been a while since your post but I just have to say that I completely understand. We were on vacation this summer and staying in an apartment with our two children. The apartment had hard wood floors which I'm sure didn't help. One night I was on the phone with my MIL and the neighbor downstairs hit the ceiling (our floor) because my 2 yr old was jumping along with her Tigger DVD. I felt bad but it was kind of funny. My daughter was so scared she wouldn't stand on the floor for the rest of the night. My mother in law had heard the bang and asked what it was. When I told her she said she'd call me right back. About 1/2 hour later our neighbor came upstairs and apologized. He said he didn't realize that my MIL was his landlord! He was so nice to us the rest of the time we were there.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. A solution you might give you neighbor is to try ear plugs. Years ago I used to work nights and my roommate worked days. I used to complain to him not to blast music on his days off while I was trying to sleep, I already had an eye mask to block out the sunlight, then I can home one morning to find a note and a set of ear plugs on my bed from my roommate. It worked wonders!! Maybe a small gesture like that for your neighbor might get her off your back. Good luck!!!

Hi M.,

My 2 yr old is also apart of the regional center. He's working with a speech therapist to speed up his language. I can't believe your neighbor. Next time she comes by tell her she's harrasing you and maybe she should move apartments if she works late shifts. I'm sorry you had to deal with that! Well, I currently have a neighbor who's dog barks all night long. I mean at 9pm-6am. I have tried knocking on my neighbors door and have even gone as far as sending them a letter stating my 2 year old can't sleep and wakes up crying because of the dog. This has been going on for 4 months and animal control has not been able to do anything until now. I just filed a long police report and I'm sure that the neighbors are going to get nasty. I mean slash your tires kind of nasty. I sympathize with your situation. Good luck!

You have nothing to worry about. Its not your fault that the lady works three shifts. Too bad she sleeps during the day. Let yuor kids be kids and call the office next time she knocks on your door. She is harassing you. Trust me, I live in an apartment too and know LOL

Hi M., we lived in an apartment before moving to California a month ago. My neighbor downstairs had a daughter who was five months older than my own. (Hence, I would have expected empathy not anger) She would call and complain that my daughter would sit on the floor too hard or she would kick her feet too hard. I, too, spent a lot of time trying to be quiet and walk with soft feet until my husband said, "We live in an apartment. It's part of the territory." After that, whenever she complained, I explained to her that we do not go out of our way to make extra noise, that she lives in an apartment and noise happens. You can't do anything about how she feels and how she reacts. Kids are kids-they make noise, they play, they argue, they scream, the run--in fact there isn't much children do quietly but sleep! Anyone who has had kids or has ever been AROUND kids knows that. It was smart of you to talk to your office staff and let them know about the situation before this woman comes in and spins her tale of woe. I worked night shift for many years and ear plugs did WONDERS for me. Next time she comes up, hand her a pair!
Good luck to you!