Negative Equity in the Marital Home and Settlement

I would listen to your lawyer. She has your best interests in mind. If you don't like her you can always contact another and they can petition to move the mediator to another day. I would say in this economy that walking away with no debt is a good thing. I wish you luck.

L., pray and now!! You're lawyer may have a point, but it seems wrong that you would lose a home that you owned prior to the marriage and should have to pay him anything. I'm praying for you and hope that you receive what you deserve. You may want to contact a real estate lawyer or another divorce attorney just for a second opinion. I don't think they usually charge for that.

Take care,

A

You can switch attorneys any time you want. An attorney works for you and can be fired any time you say so. If you hire a new attorney, that attorney will file an appearance on your behalf and if there are any court dates that are coming up quickly and your new attorney cannot prepare in time, that attorney can have those court dates postponed. That happens all the time with lawyers--postponing court dates. If I were you, I find a tougher attorney who will fight for you.

Good Luck,

MC

Hi L.,
Keep fighting for what you want. Stand your ground. If your attorney isn't doing a good job fighting for what you want then find another one! I know someone who was married for 20 years and does not pay alimony. Each case is different of course but keep fighting!!! Stay strong!!
K.

Hi L.,
Just recently I had an appointment with a laywer. My husband are I are seeking divorce after 20 years of marriage (very sad). Anyway, she gave me tons of advice on what to do. One thing that she said was not to split 50 - 50. That my husband has the ability to make much more money then I. My standard of living should not go down and his go up, so if we continue on with this it would be more like a 60 - 40 split or even more then that.
I am not sure of your situation but I just wanted to put that out there.
Best of Luck.
M.

His attorney is doing his job, trying to get his client everything he can. He is a bully, and you don't listen to him. Tell your attorney that you are not going to take those threats, and that she should be thretening them! The mediator's job is to keep this out of the courts, all they are interested in is getting this to settle, not what is fair. Know that, and don't be pressured by it. Tell your attorney that your soon to be ex can threaten all they want, but you don't want to hear it. When they have a reasonable offer you will listen. Counter with your own demands, don't let them set the tone. Do the math yourself, and split it down the middle. If he wants to stay in the house, shouldn't he be buying you out? Otherwise, put it up for sale. Be firm. They will keep pressuring you if they even think that there is a glimmer that you will cave. It has nothing to do with being fair. I can tell you this, that after dealing with the court system for a long time (not in divorce, with civil cases), the person with the money ALWAYS pays. Even when it isn't just. So if your husband has the money, the courts are going to rule against him. That is why his attorney is making threats against you, to keep it out of the courts. If you think you hit a wall, find a way to clmb it, don't give in. Eventually the mediator will presure them. And they can always set another date for mediation. I have seen several mediation dates if the first one doesn't reach a settlement.

Why would you owe him $75,000? He in turn should owe you $75,000, that would make it equal so everything should be at ground zero. I don't get it, maybe all the story is not there. I was going to suggest you get a new lawyer but you indicated you could not do this. List the house for sale, both of you paying half of the listing cost. When the house sales you split the profit 50/50. Did you calculate the assets and debts your husband has against the assets and debts you have? Not sure why you are threatened with paying $75,000 and your husband is not threatened with paying you $75,000. (Just an fyi: My divorce was finalized on 10/09/08 but my ex is not complying with the divorce settlement. I'm still fighting him to get the paperwork finalized and signed for half his pension that was awarded to me in the JOD. He was given the Discover Card Credit account balance to pay off in the JOD and he did not do this either and Discover Card has filed a lawsuit against me. My ex is getting away with not complying with the JOD and I'm at a loss as to what to do next. I'm not even sure where he is living at this point as he did not leave me any contact information and he refused to let our three boys know where he is living as he doesn't have any contact with them. Our daughter knows where he is living but she refuses to give that information to me. It seems even with a signed JOD if the defendent party (my ex) does not want to comply with the settlement agreement there is not much recourse left for the plaintiff (me). I'm not getting much help from my attorney. I'm at a loss). I wish you luck with your situation and hope all works out in your favor.

You can change your attorney any time you want! And don't be affraid to talk to the mediator yourself either. Don't let your husband, his attorney, or your attorney bully you around.

Hi L., I went through a nasty divorce and didn't think that my lawyer was doing her job, but thought that it was too late to change... Just change. It is not too late!!! Take care of yourself!!! If it doesn't seem right, then it isn't.

The mediator's job is to keep it away from a judge... that is true, but they aren't fair!!! They are not trying to be fair!!! You need to know and believe that. They are not their to do what is best for both parties and the kids, they are their to get this done and over with as quickly as possible.

Take it to the judge if you have to. I found that the only person that I could trust to do what is right and to be fair was the judge. After going through 4 yrs with the mediators, I finally said enough, and NEVER settled out of court again. I found that the mediator leaned toward the pushy, bully every time, and I lost a lot in the first 4 yrs by thinking that they were trying to be fair. They aren't. Take it to the judge. You should get half the debt, half the businesses, and you will lose half of your house, and gain child support, alimony if you haven't worked during the entire marriage and he has a thriving business or you can show that you don't want half the business but you do want alimony (which is what I would go for, since if you get half the business, then he can screw you by letting it fail, or at best you will have to work with him on a daily basis).

Get a mean, tough, lawyer who is willing to fight for more than you deserve, because that means you will probably come out with a fair, equitable settlement and neither of you will get screwed.

He isn't playing fair, so you can't or you will get burned.

Hi Lyndia,

I would seek out another lawyer. I don't know what happens regarding negative equity as when I was divorced we basically got what we paid for the house. However, I do know you can fight for what was yours prior to marriage. My ex-husband tried to go after my 401K, which was established prior to us getting married and he did not get it.

In addition, if you are not happy with your lawyer, then find a new one. Yes, walking away with no debt is beneficial...but if you do not feel like your lawyer is REALLY fighting for you...then what are you paying her for! This is NOT a time to play nice - nice. He isn't. And as much as I am a 'turn the other cheek' kind of gal....you HAVE to ensure that you and your kids are taken care of.

I will also say this, you very well may have to split the negative equity. It WAS a marital home, and marital assests are typically split 50/50. If he wanted to stay in the home, then by paying him the 75K, you would basically be buying him out. You would have to buy him out whether the home had value or not... with it having negative equity, you are most likely paying him less then if the house had appreciated. (if he wanted to stay in the home that is).

In addition, I would think that the business started during the marriage could be considered a marital asset.... consequently...there should be something that could be done there. As I am not a lawyer, I don't know.

Find a new one. There is nothing wrong with seeking a second opinion. People do it all the time when they have to have surgery...why not now when your future is at stake! You're just going to have to move quickly. Maybe you can request the meeting with the mediator is delayed?

Divorce is not fun. Ever. But you WILL get through this. Promise.

I am not a Michigan attorney is but, generally yes, property you owned prior to your marriage can become commingled into your marital estate subject to equal distribution. Everything goes into one pot and the court has the power to decide who gets what. It does not matter who earned it, whose name it is in, etc. UNLESS you went to painstaking efforts to keep it separate, which your attorney can help you determine.

Why don't you trust your attorney? It may be the case that if you don't settle and go to trial you will spend 20,000 on attorney fees between you and then there will be nothing to divide. It is very costly to valuate businesses.

Also, look at it from a potential judge's perspective. Why should your husband be stuck with all the debt?

My advice is to take a step back and decide what you will settle for and just get it done and move on. Focus on custody and the child support you will need to move forward. Good luck.

HOLD ON! The divorce is ONLY over when you say it is over. No one can force you to make a deal. When you get in front of a judge, and he asks if a settlement has been reached, you just YELL OUT NOOOOO! and explain that you have been forced and bullied into a settlement by both lawyers and see what the judge has to say. You don't have to agree to anything you don't want to. AND, part of that business is yours since it was started during the marriage, everyone knows that. If he wants to keep the house, he has to give you half the equity, and if it is negative, then why should you have to pay him so he can keep it? Sounds like you got a bad lawyer. Either way, don't let anyone force you into anything you don't want to do. You've probably been forced into enough already.

Do not settle for anything you can not afford. Lay everything out as to exactly what you are willing to do, or not do. And it's never to late to obtain a new attorney, and I would tell HER that. Walk in their knowing exactly where you stand, and stand, do not back down, no matter what they tell you. Have a positive attitude, dress sharp, and get documents, most of which are open, public record, ie, do background check of his financial records. Or make up and stay with this guy, until the recession is over. Best of luck to you, I believe you will win, now you have to believe in yourself.

Brush off ANYTHING his attorney says. They are in the business of bullying and it's not right. He shouldn't even be contacting you, if he is I would file an official complaint. He should be contacting your attorney, not you. That said, they will say anything to get you riled up and scared into a settlement. He knows full well that in court it will be divided fairly, meaning that his business is in jeopardy too. The court will add up all assets and (usually) divide them down the middle, so he will fare far worse than you...his attorney knows this and is trying to get you scared into an agreement that spares his clients $$. Don't fall for it. Tell him point blank that you will wait for the judge to decide it and don't show ANY fear. It's sort of like dealing with a rabid dog! LOL

Take a deep breath and let the courts handle it! They will take into account your financial status.

~L.

PS. Remember, too, that your attorney (although it's not right) is trying to get out of this with the least amount of court time, as well. Getting you to settle is in her best financial interest. Don't be bullied by EITHER!

you can ask free legal questions at www.deltabravo.net. go to the ask Socrates section.

Words of wisdom? What's your attorney have to say? I would definitely get some legal advice here; someone who's got realty background on their list of specialty.

You could call 1-800-CALL-SAM. They now are advertising that if they can't do the job, in other words, there's no fee. Get a consultation.

But it sounds like you're getting steamrolled, to put it mildly.

As I was reading your story, I almost knew that your attorney was a female. My divorce attorney was a female also and I got well you know I can't say here what I got but you get the picture, my advice is this don't settle for anything less than what is fair, you know in your heart what that is, follow it. I didn't and I am still regreting it because our children, we had two when we divorced ages 3, and 1 have suffered becaused I settled. Their father has never even been involved in their lives he got what he wanted, the money, and that was the lasr we ever heard from him. So take it from me , don't do whats not in their best interest. Hope everything works out for you and your children, take care and god bless. K.

I don't have personal experience with this, but I watched my sister go through a nasty divorce. Your lawyer has NOT done her job if she gets you out without any debt. She sounds lazy. You should get 50% of the debt, share 50% of the assets (his business and real estate) however that comes out, and he certainly needs to supply his share of child support. I am sorry to hear this is going on at all. With little ones, it is so hard on them and so many times the Dads don't pay child support being vindictive towards the Mom.

If he wants to keep the marital home, you owe him nothing for it. The one who keeps the assets pays the one who gives them up. For example, if you & I split the cost of a $100 pair of shoes so we could share them, if I decided to keep them for myself, I would owe you $50 to buy you out of your investment.
Your attorney saying that if you walk away with no debt she has done her job is correct. No debt means you don't owe you ex anything. That is what you want. You will still get child support and alimony if you were married long enough. You really need to trust your attorney and ask her as many questions as needed for you to fully understand what her intentions are.
My ex kept our house. My attorney worded the papers to say that he retains the home and all debts that may arise from it. I walked away with NO DEBT.
Hope this helps,
E.

Well..first..why is this an issue..the businesses are yours too! Michigan is a "what is his is yours" state so assets for the business are yours too. ANYTHING that you guys own (whether in your name or not) are yours too...do not let them tell you otherwise, especially things that were bought or gotten after the marriage. Good Luck!