Needs Tips on Potty Training

Hi D.,
This may take a week with you just staying at home and renting a carpet cleaner when you're done......

Do NOT put a diaper on her again. Do NOT put a pull-up on her again. They are too comfortable when one gets them wet. Who would want to take the time to go pee in a pot when you can do it in a comfortable diaper???

You have two choices. Let her wander the house with just a shirt and no bottoms. Naked. When she pees, it will all go down her legs and be very uncomfortable. No fun. She won't want to do this more than a couple of days. Second choice, get the training cotton underwear and have her wear only these from the waist down. They are very thick. Anyway, same thing. When they get wet they are uncomfortable and she won't put up with it for very long. The same goes for when she poops.

When my oldest son (now 15) wouldn't stop pooping his pants I told him it was very messy to slide off the underwear. I told him I was very unhappy to do this when he could poop in the toilet. The next time he did it I said I was going to wash off his poopy body in the bathtub............in very cold water. He took only two cold baths and never pooped his pants again. :-)

Good luck!

H.

Hi, D.,
Another mother echoed my experience. I had the same situation as you did, but I started leaving him naked from the waist down at home and he definitely decided he would rather go to the potty. We have been training for about 6 months now and he still has accidents and still poops when he wears a diaper at night or nap time, but the hardest part, getting him to sit on the potty, was solved once I left him naked. I did this for about a month and then started putting regular training underwear on him (you can get these at Target. they are thicker, so they don't leak as easily). I never used pull-ups, because my little boy still would rather pee in his diaper than go to the potty, so it probably would not have helped with the training. We also gave him stickers every time he would sit on the potty. Once he started wearing underwear, he still had a lot of accidents, but at least we are making progress! Good luck to you!

my son is 3yrs 3mos and he goes only pee in the potty, but his daycare is not to concerned about it. each child is different. He will go when he is ready. try getting a small potty and read to him while he is on it. good luck and to be too stressed about it

I had always heard that girls were easier to train and that no later than 2 they should be done.....WELL my first daughter who just turned 3 was very determined not to do it. I tried bribing her with candy, stickers, stars on a paper you name it. She would sit on the potty and want the bribe but was determined not to do her business. I tried pretty panties. Nothing worked...the more I pushed her or talked about it the more she pushed away. Somewhere around 2 1/2 I quit trying and put her in diapers again and stopped talking about it since I was ready to deliver another little baby girl. I figured she would regress anyways. Amazingly shortly after baby was born she decided on her own that she was a big girl and wanted her panties. Now because I had bribed her in the past...everytime she goes #2 she will ask if she is getting candy. I have run into moms lately that tell me that age 3 for their girls was normal. I think they make diapers too good these days. I do know that all the moms I know that cloth diaper their kids were done right before age 2. I have tried that as well...but its just not for me. Best of luck hope it happens soon!
R.

Don't worry about it. . . it will happen when it's supposed to!!!!

My daughter is 3 1/2 & also has no interest in potty training. (We tried pull ups, panties, etc.) She is a completely healthy, happy & bright little girl. Our pediatrician told us that it's COMPLETELY NORMAL & that all children train when they are ready (and that may be at 4 years). He told us to remain positive in any training efforts; don't pressure.

If you're concerned about what the perception is because she is the only one at pre-school not using the potty, who cares what everyone else thinks!?!?! Is this really going to matter 10 years from now? You're her mommy & you are doing & will continue to do what is best for her. Hang in there & best wishes!

Hi D.,

My daughter is 3 1/2 and we have had her potty trained since she was about 24-26 months old. We started having her sit on her own little potty when she was about 18 months. How we introduced the potty was by bringing into the living room and letting her sit on it with us right there with her. We gave her books to look at, we read to her books about the potty, we let her drink from her sippy cup, we put on movies and cartoons. We even had two cartoon movies that she only got to watch when sitting on the potty and trying to make a "peepee or poopoo." We did everything we could to keep her happy and sitting on the potty. We also kept track of when she went to the bathroom and tried to put her on the toilet as soon as she woke up and every few hours so we were sure she had to go. We also brought her potty with us whenever we traveled (if possible).

It wasn't always easy and there were tears on occassion when she didn't want to do it, but for the most part it seemed to happen very easily. When we felt she was semi-ready, I just started putting panties on her and living with the occassional mistake. I only used pull-ups at night and when I took her places that I knew she wouldn't be comfortable using the bathroom. She only had about one weeks worth of mistakes before she was "potty-trained."

Hope this helps!

What got my daughter interested in potty training is we hid all of her diapers and we said we ran out! we were also in the process of moving so i just put regular panties on her. It took her a while to realize that being wet all day long wasn't much fun now in this cold weather. And the panties felt much better than the bulky diaper or pull ups. =) It took almost 2 weeks to potty train her and dealing with her accidents. Another thing, Try to monitor how long she has to pee after each drink or meal. That always helps and ask her if she needs to potty every hour. Its frustrating at first but you gotta make it fun and sound happy about potty time! Rewards are always a plus too. Thats what helped me out.

My boy was just the same. He potty trained at the age of 5. And he just snapped into getting it one day. He was simply stubborn. Don't pressure it in my opinion. They know they're supposed to, and one day... it will just click.

Hi D.! You know what, I had the same problem with my daughter when she was 3 but then we saw this commercial I think it was "Huggies" . The theme goes " I am a big kid look what I can do" and the little girl was pulling her diaper up and down. I told my daughter "look at her, she knows how to use the potty because she's a big girl" then she said "me too", she ran to the bathroom and did the same thing. I was surprised myself, she actually learned it from T.V.

Hi D.,
My daughter has almost-three year old twins and has recently found success with her training by: one, putting up a chart for each, using stickers for success with first, using the potty chair for "practice", then when actually peeing, etc. Soon it became every five uses became a small present (always using the chart as a reminder) and, of course, lots of praise for success. Ultimately, the prizes didn't come until eight successes, then a party of celebration and no more prizes. It took her about a month and the babies were completely trained. She still puts a heavy pull-up on at naps and a diaper at bedtime so they are not having to jump out of bed in the morning. First thing is to get on pottychair and into pants in the morning. It has worked very well and they've always seen it as positive behavior, not negative, even when there is an infrequent mistake. Of course, talking is a prerequisite; both of my grandchildren are very verbal.

In time she'll get interested. My little boy was much the same way. At 2 years old he was interested and knew how--he just had better things to do. I bet your daughter is a busy little girl and doesn't have time to slow down and go potty. I read book after book, and finally decided to let nature take it's course, and it did. The more you try to get her to do it, the more she'll resist. She'll do it!! Hang in there!!

My son had no interest at that age either, but my daughter just turned two so I may eat the following words soon. IMO you have two choices: 1) force it (and I don't necessarily mean "force" in a bad sense) by putting her in panties and come what may or 2) wait her out and let her train when she feels ready.

If you go the first route, you might want to tell her when she wants a diaper, "Oh, we don't buy diapers anymore. Our whole family is going to use the potty now." And if you go the second route but would like to move to pull-ups, try: "These are the kind of diapers we buy now." With my son (I think he was almost 4!), a firm statement like that worked pretty well; one day I took him to Target to pick out "big boy pants" and we started using them that night. It was three or four days of occasional clean-ups but no battle of wills.

Good luck!

My little boy was 3 and not wanting to use the potty. His doctor suggested having him clean him self up. It takes patience on your part, but it worked for us. When she poops and lets you know it, make her wait 10 minutes, all the time telling her that she could use the potty and not have to wait for you. The next time it happens tell her because she is a big girl now she needs to clean her self. This really takes patience, she will be a mess, and you will have a mess to clean. Make her do it, all the time reminding her that if she used the potty it wouldn't be such a mess. The next time, wait a few minutes and then make her do it herself again. Once again, remind her that she is a big girl and can do it herself on the potty and not have the mess. This sounds ugly, and can be, but it worked with my stubborn son.

Hi D.. Well one thing I have noticed is that boys and girls are definately different when it comes to potty training. I have a boy (5 1/2) and a little girl (21 months). The vidoes are a good idea, but it depends on the child. We use "Potty time with Bear". The kids seemed to have both responded too it. Were just starting my daughter on potty training, and my son was 31/2 when he finally seperated from diapers! Here are some tips: you almost have to plan a 4 to 5 day span when you don't go anywhere. This is so you can focus on the potty time without any distractions, and 4 to 5 days is enough to get the child into a habit. 6 would be better but kinda unrealisitic. Try going shopping and letting her pick out her own "frilly" panties and explain why you are buying them. Giving her a choice will help her feel like she has some control of what is going on. You can also let her run around naked too. Most kids once they have peed or pooped on themselves a couple of times will get the picture. When she does go potty try throwing a "party" and making a big deal. Its a lot of work but well worth it in the end. If she has a favorite character I.e Cinderella etc.,have a friend agree to pose as the character over the phone. When she goes potty you can call "snow white" and let her talk to her on the phone.this will give her some thing to look forward to and a sense of accomplishment. Remember: kids are thinking; what's in it for me? Hope this helps! Hang in there, it will happen!

A little about me;
I am a 26 year old mother of two. I am a Psychology major, and currently work as a Behavior Specialist.

I have an idea that might help you. My daughter gave me a hard time also and she was almost 3 when I finally got frustrated and had to come up with something. I got a bunch of stuff (toys) from the dollar store and wrapped them and put them in a basket on the back of the toilet and told her that every time she went potty she got to pick a surprise, but she had to go not just sit there. It actually worked and with in three days she was fully potty trained and I didn't need the gifts anymore just praise. Going poo poo was a little more difficult, she went within those first three days but I had to give her a bigger surprise and A LOT of praise! We made a HUGE deal when she went poo poo. That is what worked for me, I hope it helps you.
Good luck!!!
A.

my son potty trained perfectly, at 2 1/2 years old, my daughter wanted nothing to do with it till she was 3 1/2, but when she did, she never wet her bed, she never had an accident, she was perfect....trust me, as my pedi told me they all get it, just not at the same time, she wont go to college wearing diapers....that made me laugh...one other tip on pull ups, you really should only use them at night, pull ups are great, but they dont know that they are wet?, underware is the best way to go, and when she wets, make sure she goes thru the process of changing her clothes on her own, dont do it for her, this process of changing and dressing helps her understand the "hassle" of accidents...and she may get sick of it..and just train!

Here's my advice. Set a date that she is going to be potty trained and just take the diaper off and dress her in underpants. Explain to her that today is "potty" day and from now on there are no more diapers (except at night in the beginning) Don't use pull ups at all. I know this sounds overly simplistic--but it is the ONLY way to potty train and it works like a charm. The reason she isn't interested is because going potty in her diaper is no hassle for her at all--its all that she knows and its fine with her. Pull ups aren't going to change that.

I was moritifed when my son's preschool teacher told me to send him to school the day after his 3rd birthday with NO DIAPERS. She told me to pack several changes of clothes and some plastic bags--and that was it. Within 2 days he was potty trained during the day, and within a few months he went through the night without a diaper. It really is that easy.

Give LOTS of positive praise and never make them feel embarrassed for having an accident. Stay on top of them every minute--take them to the bathroom religiosly every two hours. And again--avoid pull ups! They make no sense and are confusing to kids. Underwear is underwear and diapers are diapers....pull ups are this weird in between thing that don't teach them anything. Good luck!

When I was potty training my daughter I ended up skipping the Pull Ups and going straight to underwear. I found that the Pull Ups still felt like diapers to her so she would continue to go potty in it. I made a special shopping day and we went out and selected big girl underwear which she got to pick out. Once she was in her underwear, I would continuosly ask her if she needed to go potty. There were some accidents but she soon found that she hated being in soiled underwear and started to let me know when she had to go potty.

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

My youngest daughter is 3 years 5 months and although I have provided her a potty since she was 2.5 years, and I also made a "potty reward" chart (and she has pee'd in the potty over 40 times to get a sticker reward).. she is still just not ready to go it alone. I say let her pick out her own potty at Target so she feels some ownership, provide her with rewards that are meaningful and don't pressure her. Everyone gets it eventually, so don't measure her by other kids. My youngest is a late bloomer in everything she does but she is really really smart too, so this is her last holdout to being a baby. Enjoy it while you still have it.

My daughter trained really late as well. She was interested around 2 and then didn't care. Once she turned 3 we all started talking about our fun underpants (my husband, myself and her older brother who was 8 at the time). She got into fun underpants that way and got to pick some out (princesses of course!), and then she just wanted to wear them, so she trained. Not to say there weren't accidents, but even accidents mean progress!
I don't believe in doing rewards like this, but one friend uses stickers on a chart every time her son uses the potty, and another friend uses jelly beans for her girls - she trained 4 girls that way!

Hi D.
The same happened with my son (now 8). We were both frustrated after he turned three and the well meant suggestions from teachers, books and relatives didn't help either. I finally just gave up, put him in pull ups, never mentioned the potty issue and didn't even try. Four weeks later he potty trained himself, day and night....

They say that girls alot easier than boys..... So here is my story I potty train my son at 21/2 years old in 3 days. I used the Dr. Phil potty training in 3 days guide. So what I did.... the number one thing is to get rid of ALL pull-ups. If you don't do this your not ready & your daughter will not be ready. I took all diapers and put them into a bag and told my son that I was going to give them to a baby at church. The next step is to buy a jar and fill it up w/ M&M's. I key is to get that first pee-pee. So load her up w/ water. Every 10 min put her on the potty. She will get 1 M&M for sitting 2 pee-pee 3 poo-poo. If you work plan on a 3 day weekend. The hardest is to stay by her side and go every 10 min. When she goes for the first time throw a party.......Maybe have her call someone and tell them. This does work all of my friends have done this. If she does have an acident do not make a big deal just change her underwear and do it all over agine. Good luck... We are so blessed to have our children.
Always looking up.............

When all else fails - use bribery.
I told the little boy I nanny for that each time he did poops or peeps in the potty that he would get a small piece of candy (a skittle or jelly bean - something small.) He of course tried to trick me and say he "tried." But I reexplained that he had to go #1 or #2 to get the candy. He was potty trained in a week.
More help:
1. We did it during summer right before he turned 3. That way I could keep him outside - so the accidents were way easier to clean up.
2. I never let him wear a pull up or diaper. Kids need to feel wet or dirty in their clothes - its part of how they learn to potty train. Nobody likes that feeling. Needless to say we didn't leave the house for a couple of weeks unless we were walking. Once I was sure he was trained we resumed normal car trips.
3. They have to be excited about it. If you can't seem to get her excited yourself, try to have other people talk to her about it. Make a really big deal if she goes in the toilet. You could even have a small party the first time she does it. Ya know make a cake or something. If you can't get her excited then its not time.
Hope that helps :)

HI D.,

All good advice from other members here... I just wanted to add that we got the Elmo Pottytime video and that helped to encourage our daughter in her training and interest. We also picked out underwear she would like and the biggest thing we did was to make a huge deal about her going on the potty (or even trying to go) EVERY time she did it. Lots of cheering and clapping and hugs and kisses.
We did use pull-ups with her and I don't recommend that. It took awhile for us to get her to poop on the potty. One day it just clicked with her though. Once that happened, he had two poop accidents in panties (which were very upsetting to her... she didn't like how that felt, whereas in the pull-ups she didn't really care), and then she was done. No more accidents after that. Oh and now she is completely fascinated with poop.
Our son was much easier to potty train I think because he watches us and other kids and is trained now at 2. All kids are different, and do things that their own pace. Our daughter is very independently minded and very busy. I think it had to be her idea before she was ready to do it!
Good luck!

Relax, take a breath, step back from the situation.
She's not ready, emotionally to take this step.
Being in a pres-chool where others are already capable will provide some of the incentive. Be open about your needs and demistify the actions around going to the potty.
It will come in it's own good time. Y
Remember, your timing is not her timing....lesson # 1 of beign a mother.
S.

I agree with some of the others. The Elmo Potty video seems to be working for some I know, and Once Upon a Potty is also a great video, if you don't mind the narrator (the child's mom) describing body parts, you know? They have a potty music video and lots of babies sitting on the potty. I also recommend getting a Baby Bjorn potty like the ones in the video. They are only $10 at Goore's or Babies R Us. It's simple, not distracting, and comfortable. Plus, your daughter will make the connection of having the same potty chair as the toddlers in the video. If you don't like to do too much TV, Once Upon a Potty also comes in a book. The other thing I was also going to say is going cold turkey (except at night). Just let the child run around naked, with just a shirt, no diaper whatsoever! The only way kids will understand that peeing and pooping is not for going on their bodies is to get that nasty feeling! The longer she is in diapers, and yes, pull-ups are exactly those, the longer she will use them as her comfort zone for elimination. Get her a special teddy or doll in replacement of the security toy that is not really a toy but a diaper. Explain to her that because she is not going to use them during the day anymore, she gets to hold onto a special new teddy while she sits on the potty. Another thing you can do is having her sit on the potty frequently, after waking, before sleeping, after every meal and snack, after every drink, about ten minutes after running around, etc. This will not only catch the right time of needing to go, but also train her to know when she should go. Lastly, no amount of praise is too much when she actually does the deed. Sitting on the potty should get some praise and encouragement too, and then when she actually goes, it's party time!

My daughter is going to be 3 in April and she is quite ztubborn & willful child. I was a skeptic when it came to the 3-day potty trainings that others spoke of, until I thought what the heck I am going to try it and see what the hype is all about. I got online and downloaded the 3-day Potty Training by Lora Jenson (If i remember correctly it was $29.99 and you can find it @ 3day pottytraining.com). I printed it out and just hung onto it until I had a 3-day weekend off from work which turned out to be this past columbus day weekend. I made sure to follow all the prep directions and started on Saturday morning and by Saturday night we were halfway there. By monday I was so excited that I took Tuesday off just to give another day of consistency. I swear by this method and recommend it to anyone that asks, even strangers. I just wish I had known about this for my now 10 and 5 year-old sons. I am happy to say that since the actual training I can count on 1 hand the amount of accidents we have had. The key thing throught the process is stay consistent and pay attention to the child the entire 3 days. I am telling you this method totally works.

D.,

I had the same problem with my then 3 year old son, who is now 10. I worked at a dental office and we just happened to have a patient that was a child psychologist and this is what she told me to do. It worked wonders for all 3 of my kids and all 3 of them were trained in one day with only a few accidents with #2. This is mainly because for them it is as though they are letting go of something of themselves, which is hard for them to do.

So you pick a day that you are going to be home all day, preferably just the two of you. You take your daughter to the restroom first thing in the morning when she wakes up and then you put her in underwear. From there on out you go about your day anyway you'd like but you take her to the bathroom every hour on the hour. So for example say first time is at 8:00 a.m. then you take her again at 9:00 a.m., but say she doesn't go potty at 9:00 a.m. then you take her again 20 minutes later. Then that becomes your new hour. So your hour time will be constantly changing, based on wether she actually goes potty or not. If she goes potty you wait an hour if she doesn't you go back 20 minutes later. You do this all day long. It is a very long and grueling day, but it definitely works. Then the final key which is extemely important you DO NOT put them in a diaper or pull up ever again, not even for bed. By doing this you mess with their psyche and they are unsure of when to go on the potty or in their pants. I can say my daughter had an issue with the potty training underwear, because they still had a little bit of padding which made her feel as though she could still go potty in them, but when I put big girl underwear on her we never had an accident. I know it sounds crazy but it truly worked for all 3 of my kids with only a few # 2 accidents. I would say by the 3rd day we had no more # 2 accidents. And we never had a # 1 accident after that first day, not even at night.

Good luck and just stay calm and relaxed. Again as someone else said don't let outside forces influence you on wether your daughter needs to be potty trained or not.

Your daughter sounds perfectly normal. Both my kids (1 boy now 6, 1 girl now 7) potty trained themeselves in one day when they were ready. I never pushed. They both did it at 3 years and 3 months. The minute they showed voluntary interest, I put them on the potty, then asked if they wanted to wear underpants. Both did, and a few hours later peed in their pants. I told them that that is what happens when they wear underpants and don't use the potty. They have been "trained" ever since. My only advise is don't push it. So many moms seem to make the training more about themselves than their kids. Try to keep it kid-focused.

Hi D. - Well potty training is never fun, but here are a couple ideas that seemed to work good for my son. First of all I had to designate a good 3-4 days where I knew I would be home all day and not have to go anywhere. I know your a teacher, so you may have to do this over a holiday weekend or something. Then for the first 2 days I kept him completely naked, so he would have no choice but either try running to the toilet or pea on himself. I also gave him a lot a liquids (his favorite drinks) so he would get the sensation a lot and get used to what it feels like. Day 3 I started putting regular underwear on him, not pull-ups, so that if he did go potty he would feel it immediatley and know he still needed to go in the potty. The whole key to helping this work was using a reward system. This is what might be the key for you as well, since she seems to be stuck in her early ways =). I took my son to the dollar store and let him pick out a bunch of toys, then I told him he can have one every time he goes potty on the toilet. I also went and bought some "special toys" - maybe a little bigger or something you know they'd really like, and those big toys were saved for going #2 in the potty. I put these toys in a large glass jar, or something that they can see all the time and see the toys, because they will want them if they see them, but that will just give you the chance to reiderate to them that they are "potty treats" and they can have one as soon as they go potty on the toilet. Soon the toys just turn to treats (a peice of candy, or fruit snack) Good luck! Every child is different so I hope you can find something that works good for you.
B.

I wouldn't worry about it. Every child takes their own time to figure it out. Some aren't fully trained until closer to age 5. You can certainly talk about it, and encourage her to try it, but don't make it an issue - it will easily become a power trip. Also, if she attends any sort of daycare or other place where other kids her age are, she will soon feel the peer pressure to use the potty. Either way, know that she won't be going to kindergarten with diapers!

Hi! I am hoping to not sound like a mean mom in this posting, but here is what I did, and it totally worked. I tried to potty train my son at 2 years and 3 months. We didn't get anywhere for 10 days straight. I stopped and waited until he was 2 years 9 months. I ended up not using any pull ups and I tossed all diapers in front of him. I put his clothes on without underwear and he ended up really not liking the feeling of pee and poop in his jeans. Who would, right? This method took 48 hours for him to use the potty very willingly.

Remove her underwear when she goes to school. She won't want to pee on her leg. The other kids' example will demonstrate what to do. Be sure to let the staff know what you are doing. We were advised to do this with our son and it worked pretty fast, (but the preschool sent us a note, concerned that we maybe couldn't afford underwear and could they help out.)

Just went through very similar with my son. He was ready months ago but we didn't do anything and then he became extremely resistant to anything. Our solution - bribery, I hate to say,,, but no more diapers! We went to Target and I allowed him tons of time to browse the toy section. He choose a set of trucks and we put them in a box on the top shelf of the bathroom - the deal was one truck for every day her had no accidents. We're on the fifth truck (there we ten in the pack) today.

Hi D., My daughter is 31 now and we did not have pull-ups when she was growing up. Once she showed interest at all, we just kept watch, putting her on her little potty stool when she woke up and after each meal.

We did not do the diaper at night routine as we felt that sent her the wrong message (OK at night but not during the day??) She was trained by about 2 yrs and 3 months.

When she trained her two daughters, she just let them run around the house with a top on and no panties and that worked real well for them.

Good luck - I know how frustrating this might be, but all we can do is our best & love our little ones regardless.

hugs J A C K I E

My daughter is four and a year ago we just put panties on her and after two days she was potty trained. Her pre-school suggested this and it was so easy. She was fully potty trained in one week! I believe that they just figure it out if there is no diaper on. Hope this helps.... Good luck!

I don't know if you have tried this or not, but it worked with both of my children. A girl, then a boy, 10 years apart. My advice has worked for numerous other people that I am familiar with. Both of my children were completely potty trained before 2 years old and there was no magic involved...........Unless you believe in the power of Super Heroes, Barbie, and frilly "big kid" panties. Obviously, children have to be emotionally ready, obviously until they get the hang of it they will still need diapers or pull-ups at night. Certainly they can't get in trouble for having an accident. But I bought my children the neatest real underpants I could find according to their interests and they did not want them to get ruined or have to be thrown away like a diaper. I took them shopping for their big boy or big girl underpants and let them help pick them out. They loved their big panties. And not to sound gross, but we let our kids watch us go to the bathroom. "This is where pee pee goes. This is where poo poo goes. And the fun part is.........We get to flush it all bye-bye. All gone!" Maybe I am just super lucky, but neither of my children could stand being wet or soiled from the time they were infants. And the "big kid" panties were the trick to potty training freedom and a real sense of accomplishment for them.
Anyway.......I hope it helps.