Ok here is a quick cap. I have been married 7 years to a wonderful supporting husband. We both have 3 children ages 4, 2 and 10 months. My first child'd pregnancy was a breeze. My 2nd I developed pre-eclampsia at 37 weeks and ended up delivering at 38 weeks due to over a 1,000 protein count and extremely high blood pressure. I was admitted to the hospital and delivered the next day which put me right at 38 weeks. The magnesium was awful and I couldn't imagine anything worse than that feeling of your blood burning inside you. My 3rd child was awful! I developed pre-eclampsia at 26 weeks but it was mild at only a protein count of 300. I was back to work and then right at 28-30 weeks, I was put on strict bedrest because my protein count arised to over 500. So luckily with my wonderful husband and his and my family, we were able to deliver my son at 37 weeks on the dot. My delivery wasn't the best, but we all survived and my kids are all as healthy as can be.
Ok, so there is my quick cap of life. Ever since I delivered my first daughter, I have always wanted to be an OB nurse. I never opted to go back to school and that is just because we had no way of anyone watching her. My husband wasn't very involved with her back then, but now that we have 3 children, he is soooo involved in their lives and he is a fantastic father. I think he is making up the time he missed, but it doesn't matter. He is involved now and is great! Anyways, after speaking with my OBGYN (which I actually just recently switched to one closer to us), and I have been with this OBGYN for 10 years, we told her that we weren't planning to have any more children. So she said, it was probably a good idea. Never in my life did I dream of someone telling me that it wasn't wise to have any more kids. We would love to have a 4th, but obviously with my history of pre-eclampsia, it probably isn't a wise thing to do.
So, here is what I am pondering. I would LOVE to go back to school for nursing. Now that the children are getting a lot better and not as needy, I am able to do more things. My husband is supporting whatever I do right now. I just don't know how to know if nursing is the right field. I sit and think, I know I can be a nurse and a great one. I know that I will be on my feet a lot but after spending 8 years of my life working at a desk, I am ready for a change. How did you girls know that nursing was the field for you? I love helping others. It is a passion. I used to be a STNA and although I hated the diaper changes, I loved being there for the older to help them. But elderly isn't my area that I want to be in. Since I won't be having any more children, I would love to have the opportunity to show my passion to the mothers around going through what I have been through. I am willing to put all my time, effort and patience into it and do my absolute best. But I am super mom too. I still want a half cleaned house, be able to fix supper and still have fun with my kids.
Now, the waiting list for my school is about 2 years for nursing clinicals. We are switching from quarters to semesters here in Fall 2012. Now, if I get everything in order, I can take just online courses this summer and just be able to go to school when I take my tests. Right now the online classes I can take are English and Computer. If possible, I will try to take another online.
Now here is the other dilemma. We have a college basically right here next to us. It is like 2 miles from us and yes it offers the nursing program. But we have been wanting to move for awhile but haven't found a home to move to yet. So we have taken a look at one, but nothing else. We haven't put our home up for sale yet either. Our oldest daughter will be starting school here next fall (2013) so we wanted to be in the school district we wanted. Unfortunately, we have to open enroll her to the one here, which is only like 5 miles from us so that isn't a huge problem, but this is also NEVER a guarantee that she will be able to go here every year.
Obviously we need to get our priorities in check. The biggest is our daughter's schooling, but since I am a SAHM, we can't sit and afford a $250,000 home. We have a realtor checking around the areas for us but nothing has come up. So I sit here and think well, we will just open enroll her, but what happens if the realtor finds one in a school district we want? What happens if we move and I have to drive farther to school then? Trust me. I am NOT putting my wants and needs before my kids. But since we haven't really found a home we like, I didn't think it would be much of a deal to go to college. I am trying my best to do everything online if possible. But obviously the A&P classes and math and so on won't be. I know most people say just wait to go to school until you have everything decided on your kids schooling and your location and then see what you want to do. That isn't a problem and we most likely can do this. What my concern is that the more I wait, the more I won't want to go back. It's already going to take me 1.5-2 years just to finish pre-req's.
I'm so confused and I don't want you thinking that my kids don't matter to me. They do very much and I want to be able to provide for them just as my husband has.
If you were in my position, what would you do? Please give me your honest opinion.
I would stop asking what if and start the program. Life will change and you can't plan it all.... go for it! Good luck :)
I think that you need to stop going around in circles with the "What if's". Your house will take months and months and months to sell even if you are lucky enough for it to sell. Thousands of people are still losing their jobs everyday and their houses are getting put on the market in hopes of stalling a repossession. Banks are selling the houses they have ownership of through these repossessions and are selling them for pennies on the dollar to just get rid of them. Some are even just auctioning them off because they have so many. It is a wonderful opportunity for a buyer but no the seller. You won't get what your house was worth even 5 years ago, much less what it might have been worth last month.
So, please stop counting your chickens before they hatch, well, before they even lay any eggs.
Start with where you are right now, what is going on right now. Your school from an accredited college/university will transfer to any other school. Some online course just won't be accepted unless they are not through their own college/university.
I would always go through a fully accredited nursing program. That way you know that every class you take will count and not have to be repeated somewhere else costing you time and more money.
I think you should enroll in the college there by your house right now. That way you will be in a fully accredited institution that can transfer your transcript to any other school you choose to start at when you do get to move.
There are about 2 years of basic ed classes to take, especially if you choose to go further and get a BS in nursing, with that you can even teach at a Jr. College level, you can get a Master's of Nursing and make a lot of money teaching at the Jr. College level with full tenure and benefits. Or at a full University that has a medical program with a nursing program in it. You might even decide to go for a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, our grand kids care giver is one and she is better than any doc they have ever seen.
You can go very far with a nursing degree. You can even work while going for the higher degrees in places like the ER, home health, community health, the list goes on.
Nursing is a wonderful career for someone who has that pull to help people in that way. I think the world needs more like of them so I hope you do decide to go forward.
My perspective based on on my own life experience . . .
I went to grad school with a two-year old, and had a 2nd baby at the end of my first year. I didn't finish until my oldest was 6, and youngest was 3. I would get up at 4:30 am, almost every morning, and study until 6 or 6:30 am, get the kids ready and off to daycare then go to work myself - then night school. It was absolute hell. I was very driven and determined though.
Looking back I wish I had waited. I still regret "missing" those early years because I was stressed and distracted. One winter I had a bad car accident right before Christmas and it made me examine how I was living my life. The only thing that really mattered to me was my SONS - but I wasn't living my life that way.
I completely understand how it feels to be young, driven, and to LONG for a calling or passion in your life. But I would search my heart and soul about what is MOST important to me, and put those things first in your life. Most of us never know when our last day will be.
My kids are 18 & 15 now, and I can tell you it goes quickly. I have never regretted a minute with my kids, but I *have* regretted the time away. I.want to cross the finish line knowing that I've given it my all.
And I don't judge people who do it differently. You're the only one who can live your life and you're the only one who knows all the facts. Just wanted to give you my experience.
Good luck.
It sounds like you're waiting for everything to be perfectly lined up before you go back to school. Things never perfectly line up and about the time they do, something changes and life is complicated again.
If you want to try the nursing program and there's a school 2 miles away, go for it. Do it while the opportunity is available. Sometimes you just have to make the best decision for that moment and adjust as you go.
Of course your kids matter to you. But you matter too! You need to think of your own future as you consider what is best for theirs.
I think it is great that you have such ambition to go back to school. However, you are being too optimistic already.
Here is my experience as a student and a mother. First of all, pre-reqs are going to take you more than 2 years if you plan on continuing to be home with your kids. As far as online classes go - you will be lucky if you can take everything online, it is nearly impossible to do that. You will be starting a new semester after completing one online and find that there are no online classes available to you anymore. Now what? Do you continue school on campus? Who will watch your children? I'm not saying you can't do it, I am saying its harder than you think.
Once you finish your pre-reqs you will have to get recommendations to join the program. If you make the list, you will be at the bottom. That list can only hold so many students at a time and it takes years to move up the list. One of my best friends finished her pre-reqs and sat on the list for 3 years. She was finally called and a month into the semester she found out she was pregnant and had to drop out because it was not safe for her to be in the chem labs. Her baby is almost one and she will have to start back at the bottom of the list again. I'm not saying this happens to everyone, but you need to be prepared if something happens in your personal life that will affect schooling.
Kids get sick, you will have to M. class when that happens. School is not like work, its much more. After work, you come home, you relax with the kids, and so on. With School you go all day, you come home, and you do homework all night. It is so hard.
BUT... many parents do it. I'm doing it. You can do it. You just have to be realistic about it. This is going to take you a long time, its going to be hard, and it will affect your duties as a mother. I planned on having my Bachelor's degree back in early 2010. At the pace I am going, I will most likely graduate at the end of 2013, or early 2014, and I go more than full-time (15-18 credit hours).
Best of luck to you. HTH!
Keep it simple, stop stressing over everything on a time frame. I'm in nursing school and during prereqs I didn't attend one semester b/c I got mono and then had a really tough semester when my daughter was hosp for rsv for 7 days. Really though thats life. Its the thing that happens when we are busy planning. Just start your prereqs and do it one semester at a time. I'm all about planning, but when you try to plan everything, you are just setting yourself up for failure.
edit: i am new to this site and don't know how many nurses are on here, but you might try looking at the site allnurses.com. it has a wealth of info and even has a forum for pre nursing students. its all nurses so they may have alot of insight and answers you're looking for! the site was recommended to all the nursing students.
Just a thought-if your goal is to "show your passion to the mothers around going through what you have been through" why don't you start out as a doula? It actually seems more suited to this goal than nursing and would most likely be easier and less expensive to do.
One more thing-if you want to find infomratoin out from women who are nurses you should start a seperate post with that in it....I think you will get more specific answers.
Here's my honest opinion. Stay home with your kids. Your gift of wanting to help people is best served by being there for your kids. Any energy you spend outside the home takes away from your kids and your husband. I have often thought of doing lots of things but I can easily replace those thoughts with the smile on my kids' faces when we just played on our own schedule.
My husband always supported me being home because he saw the time and energy I put into making our home a place he wanted to come home to. I used any extra time finding ways to save money. I could write a book on how to live on one small income in California, no less, as we were living there most of the time while our kids were in school (Christian school with tuition). Yes, it can be done.
First, talk to your realtor about seriously selling your home. Get it sold before you get into financial trouble if you cannot afford your home. You can always rent until you find the perfect home.
If you start going to school, picture yourself under a time crunch and what will you be telling your kids? When they are all in school, you will have plenty of time to take courses. In the meantime, you can start talking to nurses in your area and asking where they took their courses and get ideas. You have so many years after your kids are grown to do what you want. Right now, keep looking at your child's faces when you spend time with them. Look at your husband's face when he sees dinner on the table and his castle taken care of.
We all have longings. That is normal. But it doesn't mean that we need to act on them right now. You have plenty of time later on to help women who are going through what you have been through. Maybe right now, you can start a blog for these women.
My head was spinning looking at your post. I think you need to simplify. Debt is a terrible thing. Trying to buy a house and start nursing school is just too much to do at once IMO. The biggest variable being finances. Which ever one lands first will affect the outcome of the other financially and in ways you probably can't forsee.
Unless you have already received a financial aid package or have met with financial aid counselors and know how you are going to fund your return to school, I think you need to first decided if the move to a new home is worth it. Depending on how you finance your schooling, your chances of getting a mortgage could be greatly affected And vice versa, depending on what type of financial aid for school you are eligible for could affect whether buying a home is feasible. If you were to get pre-approved for a mortgage or even buy before starting school, you may find that school isn't even an option because cost of living will change. You may get approved for student loans, but only be eligible for the type that need to be paid back while in school or immediately after graduation.
Are you considering daycare? Are you considering food, transportation, books, possibly needing a new job or needing to do internships and other things that come with going back to school?
I think the first thing you need to decide is if the move is feasible and worth it. Once that is determined, you'll know if all of the other stuff is feasible. The house situation will settle many of your questions.
You don't say why you want to move so bad. From what little you've shared, I think you should stay. Send your child to the neighborhood school, and then go to the local college a few minutes away and see what type of financial aid you qualify for under your current financial situation you are living with right now...in that house. You will probably find it is much easier to stay put if you want to go back to school. A move will complicate things, and probably would mean putting school on the back burner indefinitely...unless you have a clear financial plan in place as of right now. If you want to be a nurse, now is the time to persue it. Time is not on your side. Life doesn't get less complicated and you're getting older.
Moving, worrying about relocating your child to a different school, worrying about whether to have more kids or not can be unnecessary road blocks if you let them. If you want to really go back to school stay in that house, and make it a priority unless there is some terrible, pressing reason, you need to move to a different home that you haven't shared with us. If that is the case, then school was never an option to begin with. You need to do what is best financially for your family...and only you can know that after doing some serious homework.
Sometimes you have to settle for what you can work out. And sometimes it IS okay to put your wants and needs in front of the children's. Sometimes moms think that the children come first, and that just isn't the way it really is. We ALL do what is necessary to make our lives work. That sometimes means staying at home instead of working, working instead of staying at home, staying in a home we'd rather sell, selling a house to move for a different school system, etc.
It also includes going back to school and having a real career instead of being a SAHM.
So put this thing of having to be the be all and the end all to everyone else. You do NOT have to prove to us or anyone else that your kids do or do not matter to you. If ANYONE tells you that you are selfish or don't care for your kids because you want to go back to school, they are just jerks and you shouldn't pay them any mind.
If you really want to sell your house, you should bust your buns to get the house ready for sale and put it on the market now because of the time of year it is. If you sell before finding one to buy, rent an apartment in the school district you want to be in. You can do your online courses and get your prerequisites done while you wait in line for nursing school, or choose a different school. Just make SURE than any course you take at one school can transfer to the other so you have options.
I don't think that other people telling you to wait or not wait is what you need. You just need to get your head around what you want to do, and then do it. We always need good labor and delivery nurses!
Good luck,
Dawn
Go to the college next door.
It's good to make plans, and as a recovering alcoholic, I tend not to worry about the future (because it is out of my control). You've made your plans, you've thought about the future and you've charted a course for your family.
Planning time is over.
Part of your plan just isn't happening right now (house/move). That's ok. You just have to be patient.
But you are a smart, independent woman! You have the opportunity - right now - to start putting into motion part of your plan.
It ain't perfect, but neither is life. So maybe you transfer credits - or maybe they don't transfer. Cross that bridge when you get there. (if you know both schools, it wouldn't hurt to check now).
But you need to go. Education is never a waste. And what excuse will your kids EVER have if mom went back to college?
You're a strong, independent woman. Make it work.
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I've reread your question now that I've read others' answers. On the finances - you didn't ask about that and don't mention what husband makes....but i'm guessing you put that in the equation already? If not, then please be careful about loans and mortgages. Debt without payoff is financial ruin.
The other concern I missed was the age of your kids. I also assume you had considered the daycare issue and felt comfortable with your choice.
Well - I came back on b/c I didn't feel as strongly in my answer...but now I think I'm going to stick with it. As long as you put those two issues - finances and daycare - in the hopper in your planning stage. :)
I think you should go to school, by the time your kids are older and more independent you will then be prepared to join the work force.
The world definitely needs good nurses and I believe for many it is a "calling", sounds like you are one of those.
I understand now is kinda the best time to buy a house since the market is still down & loan rates are low, but if you are able to get school done & find a job... you maybe able to get the $250,000 home you are wanting with you and your hubby's income combined.
Right now you need to figure out what is the most important thing is to you... the new house or your education. Your daughter can get a basic education for now... grade schools teach about the same things - it's when they start middle school & high school that you have to be more concerened with being in the "right" district. Which if you start school now - you should be able to get the house in the "right" district before she gets to middle school or high school.
Our goal is to move before my daughter (going into 3rd) switched schools (6th grade). With things currently - I don't know if we will meet that goal or not... we have had a few set backs because of my lay-off 2 yrs ago and my health issues after having my 7 mo. old (multiple mini-stokes, brain bleed from a hospital parking lot whall heading to the ER & blood clots).
Sit down with your hubby and talk it out - see what you both think is more important. Sorry, but we can't tell you what will be best for you - I wish we could... I would love to know what I should do next, but I'm just taking it a day at a time - hoping the clots will go away & I won't have another mini-stroke or worse yet a regular one. And am trying to figure out how to live each day with the person I am now and deal with the fact that it is not the person I was 8 months ago - which can be really hard sometimes, when I want to do something I use to but can't seem to anymore (due to the damage done from the mini-strokes & bleed). But honestly - I am just happy to be living each day with my hubby & 5/6 of my kids - eventhough the overwhelm me a LOT.
Good luck & enjoy school if you choose to... oh as to if you would like it - see if they will let you voulenteer on the floor at a hospital or at an OB's office.
1) most people, myself one of them, find 'real' classes to be easier. Daycare needs are minimal (about 10 hours per week), and your attention is totally in your class, not dealing with crises at home while in class.
2) Credits transfer. You can start at one CC, then transfer them to another if you move.
3) A BSRN takes almost the same amount of time as an RN (5 years), but the pay is MUCH better, and advancement is better/faster. ESP if you want to specialize. 2 years of gen Ed, lag year, 2 years of nursing school.
4) Part time. Every class you get out now, you don't have to take later. So start, and then when you have more time, add more. Ditto, for hard classes, Only take that class. Or that one and an easy one.
5) Nursing schools are more competitive than medschools. You'll need a couple thousand hours of volunteer time or commiserate worke exp to get in... So going part time gives you time for 10 volunteer hours a week. OR get a part time med field job (like unit secretary). Will help with nursing school ap AND the mortgage.
6) keep as many doors open as possible. Open enroll, then if you move... Just enroll as a new family to the district (which you will be).
It's tough, but I just wanted to give you some support! I have 3 girls, work full time and am going to school. My daughter mean the world to me and they are part of the reason I am going back. Don't feel guilty, everyone will benefit with you going back, and everything will work out!
