C., You have many posts with varying opinions, experience, and options. We can not know your little boy from your post of course! So you have to take each person's comments with a grain of salt, take what you need, and pitch the rest.
I find that rarely is a child of such an age faking if it's gone on this long. I believe you should look into some of the other conditions the Mom's have offered. Or just reexamine your little mans disposition & personality he just might have different needs than the 'norm'. Also I don't think anyone mentioned but sometimes just waiting ONE year and he'll do much better. Yet, it's already Feb. so I wouldn't do that.
Believe him. Believe it's THAT hard for him. Sometimes that is what a child needs. I'm not saying, give in, it may not be what he needs. Find out what he needs, could it be medical that he can't not adjust to such a crowd? I was a painfully shy child. I remember this boy in 1st grade he wet himself every day. He looked like bambi facing the end of riffle every day. He wasn't ready for school, he stopped coming after a while I always wondered what happened to him, and I'm 40 now. lol
What else could he do? He's a little kid, with a very small voice. They find what works and go with it. He needs to know you believe it's so hard he needs to be home.
Then take him for testing. Then consider homeschooling. RESEARCH it! I thought it was for fanatic's. lol I really did. I've been doing it since 2000 now. With all 3 of mine. ha! They are wonderful. You wouldn't believe how often they are praised as amazing, in social settings. My older two just passed their 8th and 5th grade testing with flying colors. We've had many challenges, and every one worth the effort.
WHO the heck started this your child needs to be in a room with 30 crazed kids the same age to be properly socialized is a sad excuse for researcher, and the way it's been so ingrained and everyone believes that just drives me nuts. Children become properly socialized after you find the definition of it. So please do not think you have to force him down this road of public schooling for that bad advice.
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/zysk1.html
http://homeschooling.about.com/od/socialization/a/socialc...
Here are a couple articles to broaden your the field of viable options for your child. I was very close minded to the option till I moved next door to a family that does it. It's been those nearly 8 years now, we are still friends. Her oldest is soon off to college, and her other 3 are brilliant wonderful human beings. Very well socialized, even cool kids.
I'm not saying Home school. I don't do that, I don't believe all women have what it takes. I wish they did, but lets be realistic. The self sacrifice is huge if you do it their entire school years. YET, guess what? Another option is do it till he's ready, and then put him back in. Grounded older more sure of himself. Many I know have. One Mom she does each child different, some have been in and out, some only home, some only public. Each child is different and if your son can't fit into the cookie cutter institutional setting, maybe you don't want to see what forcing him to do that will change in his wonderful human being self.
I think our children need to know they can TRUST us, they can trust us to believe them, love them through, and make the changes they individually need us to make so they can have the best parenting and childhood experience we can offer.
So I say, Mom stopped being over whelmed and delve into all your options and learn what your precious man needs from you to feel safe in this world and learn what it's all about.
I hope this helps,
~P.
www.momentsbypaula.com