My 3 children are all in daycare, and in regards to my "almost three year old" they are doing a great job with his potty training. He wears underwear all day, and except for an accident here or there, does wonderfully. At home it's a different story...he SCREAMS when I take him into the paooy...even the influence of his older brother isn't helping. I tried to ask him what his teachers do that makes potty time so good & I get nothing. I've asked them too & the only difference I see is that they all line up to use it at designated times. Well, obviously I'm not about to round up the neighborhood kids to help my son use the potty....and I'm baffled why his father & I can not get him to do this. Any tips, suggestions, similar experiences out there? - Thanks!
Thank You for all the feedback. I love the cheerios idea, I'd like to try that tonight. If that doesn't seem to do the trick, I think I'll just back off him for now, send him to daycare w/ underwear on & let his good deed get done there. I never really thought of it as a power struggle at home, but now I do. He sees how upset I get and I know better than to do that. I guess I just felt a little discouraged that he didn't want to do it with me. (Of all my boys, he's always been the one whos stuck the closest to me). We all have to pick our battles, and, for now, I guess he's won this round.
Once he decides to try at home, I will be able to play out the other suggestions. I especially like the one where he gets rewarded for staying dry, not just going potty. I've never been a big fan of the whole bribery thing (always backfired on me-can't get the oldest to do anything w/out him asking what he'll get in return), but the build up of stickers turning into an afternoon w/ mommy seems perfect.
Thank you all for you tips/advice. You've helped me remember that once I stop making it a big deal, it won't be a problem anymore. Take care
Myson was the samw way! what idad was threw out all diapers and pull up with him and explained that he was a big boy. Then we got a small piggy bank and basically bribed him. everytime he peed he got a penny from me and a quarter from his pap and if he did it himself he got 2 pennys and 2 quarters. For #2 he got dollars. It literally took a weekend and we were completely potty trained. Good Luck
I know that you already responded with the cheerios idea, but figured I would send this anyways. The best techniques are to practice, practice with him. If he sees you doing it, he will, too.
When It�s Time for Potty Training
There are many wonderful ways to help our kids think for themselves and help them become wiser. The following is a story about Harry, who learned, along with his family, that potty training can be fun, for both parent and child.
Little Harry lives in a house that has two bathrooms � one upstairs and one downstairs. One morning, his father said, �Hey, Harry! You want to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?�
�Upstairs! Upstairs potty! Harry said.
A Love and Logic parent, his father smiled and said, �You want to have fun while we�re doing this, or not have fun?�
The great thing about choices with little kids is that they love making them � even when the options we give seem a bit silly to us. The decisions they make on their own make them feel important, leave them with a sense of control, and give them lots of chances to exercise their brains.
Harry looked at his dad as if he were crazy and giggled, �Fun! I want to have fun!�
�Great,� said his dad. �Do you want to bring a drink in with you, or do you want to wait until you�re done?�
�Wait till I�m done!�
�Do you want to bring Clarence, your stuffed sea otter, with us, or do you want to leave him?�
�Bring him!� Harry says, as he goes to retrieve his favorite stuffed playmate.
Now, Harry�s dad moves to the next step � modeling. Although some parents might find it a little embarrassing, modeling is the best way to teach your kids just about anything. Harry�s dad thinks it�s great.
�Hey! I really have to use the bathroom!� he says enthusiastically to his son. �Why don�t you come in with me? Let�s go. Let me show you how it�s done!�
He shows his son how he uses the bathroom. �This is so much fun! he laughs. �Someday when you�re big enough, I bet you�ll be able to use the potty like me! Then you can have fun, too! Boy! I love using the potty! I can even wipe myself! Check this out!� He flushes the toilet and waves, �Bye-bye!� as they look into the toilet.
The logic here is clear. Kids want to be like their parents. Whatever parents do, kids naturally want to be able to do, too. And if parents think it�s fun, kids will, too. So, parents have some choices when it comes to potty training:
� We can allow ourselves to become embarrassed and refuse to model this skill.
� We can fight with our kids over the issue and try to force them to be ready before they actually are.
� We can decide to have some fun, take the pain out of the process, and build strong relationships with our kids. How? Use lots of choices � and model, model, model!
When Parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.
When Accidents Happen
If you know how to ride a bike, you probably remember falling a few times before finding the right balance. When we�re learning something new, accidents are bound to happen. So it is with out children when they are not potty-training age.
Successful parents dole out empathy and say, �Oh, you had an accident! That�s too bad! I love you, Sweetie.� They take their time and don�t rush anything, because there�s no set timetable for potty training. Every child has his or her own unique schedule of development.
Some children potty train at two, some when they�re four, and some at every age in between. It all depends on the child. A wise parent locks in empathy and waits for kids to develop the skill on their own. Then, when a child is successful, a parent can say, �You did it! I bet that feels great!�
Unsuccessful parents have a pattern, too. When their kids make a mistake, they get upset, or angry. They say, �You messed your pants again! That�s not nice! We don�t do that! Now you better learn how to do this right! You�re going to sit here until you use the potty!�
You can guess what happens. The child sees frustrated parents, and the child gets frustrated, too. Like any task we�re expected to perform under pressure, potty training becomes an undesirable chore. What a bummer!
-END-
This is directly from Chapter Two, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. - www.loveandlogic.com
Put cheerios in the potty and let him try to shoot the cheerios with his pee! Good luck. P.
I think you are smart to back off! Before your next attempt you may want to check out this very short book - It address most of the suggestions you have gotten here and it only takes one afternoon of 'training'- but the afternoon is to be only with you and him - sounds like something you will both end up enjoying! 'Toilet training in less than a day.' by Nathan Azrin and richard foxx. I used it for both of my boys at around age 3 for both. this book also shows you how/when to reward without getting caught up in the gimmies!
My son responds well to a little competition and also likes to do what I do. When he was potty training, I would announce that I was going to the bathroom. That seemed to trigger a need for him to go to the bathroom and to go first. It worked for him.
I wouldn't put too much pressure on him, he'll figure it all out eventually. You could try having regular potty times at home.
Good luck.
Hi K.. Try the book Potty Training in a Day. You can get it at Borders. It worked with my boyfriends daughter, and our neighbor when she tried it.
Hi there, I haven't experienced what you are going through. I did however have a difficult time with my daughter getting her to use the potty- regularly. I bought a dvd called "Potty Power", I highly recommend it. It's worth a shot.
Good Luck.
Have you tried a reward system. Try giving him a sticker everytime he uses the potty. Go to the store, let him pick some out and tell him that everytime he goes on the potty he'll get one. Remind him from time to time that Mommy and Daddy have special stickers for big boys who use the potty. It's worth a shot.
Well, I'm not there yet with my 16 month old but I have been told to put fruit loops in the toilet and have him aim at them. A friend of mine said that's how she got her little man to peepee. As for pooping I don't know. I've heard of people using stickers as an incentive, then when he gets so many stickers he gets something special. Don't know if you want to go that route or not. But I thought the fruit loops idea is kind of cute. They actually sell biodegradable rings for the toilet, I've seen at The Right Start in the Annapolis Mall but it's cheaper to throw some colorful cereal in there. Hope that helps.
Boys are harder. I have a question, do you spend more time with him fighting to go to the potty than you would if he just went to potty? You have to remember that this is the ultimate goal of all children, to get one on one time with their parents.
I have two suggestions:
1. Create a chart for the time that he is home w/you and on weekends. For each time period (I suggest 2 hours), if he goes potty or does not have an accident he gets a sticker. If he has an accident he does not get a sticker. Set a goal, like five stickers. If he reaches his goal, he gets to pick an activity to do with you.
2. Tell him its story time, but he only gets a story if he sits on the potty while you read him a story. This way he gets the one on one time he is looking for, and it is his choice. Don't argue with him because that gives him the attention that he wants.
In general, reinforce when he does go on the potty, don't argue with him when he doesn't. I know its hard, but it finally worked with my son.
L.
i had the same problem. my 4 year old daughter just started going to the bathroom. we had tried everything. so we just started to tease her and tell her she was nasty for wetting and stinking on herself. she loves dora the explorer and elmo. we brought her the dora goes to the potty book and the elmo goes to the potty toy and she loved it. we also went with her to the bathroom and praise her each time she did something, we made a game out of it. we would also give a reward each time she went. i would go to the bathroom myself and take her with me and i would clap and sing when i was finish, she loved it. now she goes all by herself and only wears pull-ups at night time until she learns to control herself and wake up during the night. good luck, and god bless.
Been there and back again. But Yikes! I don't know about Leahs suggestion - it seems manipulative and would make story time something that could be threatened. So if you want him to trust you then don't threaten together-time. I suggest putting him in trainers agian for a month and say or do nothing until you know it's time again. And then make sure you don't make it related to outside rewards or anything other than self. http://montessorimom.com/?Approach_and_Philosophy:Montess...
http://www.iverna.com/foodforthought/potty/potty_training...
Hey, I found these two really cool sites for you and they actually agree.
Hi Kim..I may be wrong but it seems to me that your son will go potty in school with his classmates cause he may feel he needs to fit it. In other words if he sees all the boys and "girls" pottying he may be afraid of getting teased for not going or even worse.. going on himself. I know this may seem strange but i would suggest (like I would try myself) try having your other son and his dad stand in line with him at home as he does in school and maybe that'll trigger the same willingness he has in school. I hope you find a solution. Good luck.
I have been lucky with my daughter (nearly 3 as well) - she woke up from nap one day and said she wanted to wear underpants. She's been dry and wearing them ever since. We haven't even thought about training at naps or night yet though. And if we are going to be far or it will be difficult from a potty (longer car rides, etc)I put a pull-up on her. She will stay dry or ask for a potty or if she should use her pull-up instead. I'm sure it's not going to be so easy with my 18 mo son when his time comes.
I'm not sure I have too many perfect suggestions, but my neice is 3 months younger than my daughter and is doing the same thing...well, she was a couple weeks ago. (Now she's suddenly quite everywhere.) She'd go at daycare, but refuse at home. She would go for her older sister (8) sometimes though at home. Kai definitely has a huge attitude and I think it's a power thing with her. At one point she came out and said "Potty at daycare. No potty at home." Thinking it was a power thing, I suggested my sister back off the harassment at home but give her a pat on the back about daycare. I think you need to completely not even discuss it at home. Once it's no longer a power struggle, he'll get over it and just go. Maybe even reward him by letting him wear underpants to daycare. Don't punish at home though. Another thought is a timer - similar to daycare. Have him sit and try to go when the timer goes off. Have him sit for a short time and then either say "we'll try again later" if he doesn't go or praise if he goes.
GOOD LUCK!
