My husband and I have already discussed the following issue and came up with a decision but I want to know your opinions and thoughts....
Our good friends (husband and friend were best men in each other's wedding) daughter (our goddaughter) is having her birthday party on Saturday. She's turning 4. She and my 3.5 year old daughter get along really well and love to play together (the father is my daughter's godfather). So we are really close with them and see each other about 1x a month. The party is from 3pm - whenever. They invited my daughter to spend the night. She has spent the night at my parents house and had my mother in law spend the night at our house, but never done a sleepover with a friend before (because she's 3.5!) I know she would LOVE to spend the night there (at least in theory). My daughter still gets up in the middle of the night and ends up in bed with us 98% of the time! I told our friends this and that is a concern of mine (her waking them up or wanting us in the middle of the night) and they said they do not mind - they will take care of her. They are having a bonfire in the evening (no fenced in back yard) and I will not be there. There will be other kids there, too (maybe spending the night but not sure). What would you do? We decided to NOT let her spend the night - mostly because we think she'll wake up in the middle of the night and want to come home! I do not fear that they will not watch her in the non fenced in back yard or around the bonfire. I just think it'll result in less sleep for the kids and parents!
What would you do?
My son didn't start over nights till he was 9 yrs old. At night he just wanted me if he woke up. I wouldn't worry about it. Just say you are not ready for her to be away from you over night except for grandparents. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
I agree with your decision...3.5 is a little young for a sleep over...and the middle of the night could turn into a nightmare for everyone!!!
I would be like you and wait until she's older and can stay in bed all night. My 3 1/2 year old stays in bed all night, but I would still be unsure. My niece is like your daughter. She's up and in bed with my brother and sil every night. She's not ready for sleepovers yet.
Although I'm sure she would be fine, but waking up in a place she's never spent the night before without mama or daddy is scary. I personally think that 3 1/2 is too young for a sleep over. Perhaps you could stay at the party with her so she could experience the bonfire and running around with the other kids and all the fun and then take her home later? I think you made the right decission.
I have a 3 1/2 year old that sleeps through the night for the most part, but I would not let her have a sleep over somewhere I was not (other than a grandparents house). She is too little to care for her self or to know right from wrong....like wondering out of an un-fenced yard.
I would simply tell your friends that it's not them, it's you and you are just not comfortable because of her age. You know she'd have fun, but sleeping over is off the table right now. She is still going to attend the party and get to play with the other kids. When you decide it's time to go, you all leave. Don't make too big of a deal about it with your friends or they will start to over analyze your decision.
I let my son do a sleep over at 4.5 because it was his last week with his best buddy of 3 years before we moved out of state. We spent about 3 days a week at this family's home and regularly had dinner together, this was NOT a strange place or family to him at all. When the invite was given he was SO excited, and insisted that he wanted to do it. This was still against my better judgement and I was a wreck, simply because he tended to be very needy in the night. When he came home in the morning the mom said he did great and loved it, and as soon as she walked out the door he burst into tears and sobbed on my lap saying "I changed my mind! I don't WANT to sleep over!" He still talks about it 2 years later, how he was scared in their house, and everyone else was asleep, and he doesn't want to do anymore sleep overs anywhere again. :( I say you made the right decision, always go with your gut on things like this!
It sounds like you don't trust them or else this would be a non-issue...I know you state you don't fear this - but you OBVIOUSLY do because you mentioned it - if you hadn't mentioned it - it wouldn't be a concern to you.
My kids were doing sleepovers at 3. I know for some it's young - but they were potty trained and ready....
If you don't trust them - then don't let her stay.
I would let her go. My three and a half year old has spent the night at her aunt's house with her cousins. She loves it. We were worried about her waking up too, because at the time she woke up crying multiple times every night. She actually slept all night long over there. It might be good for her.
Since she cannot sleep alone in her bed all night, I wouldn't let her spend the night away from home. It might even be a way to give her incentive to stay in her bed at night. Maybe give her a incentive- since they are good friends, maybe they will give you an open invitation to have your daughter over--when she stays in her bed all night a whole week, then she can spend the night with her friend. Also, this sounds like quite a party, one that might get everyone riled up more than usual which could cause more sleep problems.
No way. Especially if she still gets up in the middle of the night. My daughter is 11 and just went on her first sleep over. Just my opinion, I think you made the right decision.
I would not. Even if they are best friends. But thats just me. For our kids, once they turned 4 they could do sleepovers at cousins' house, but no friends even yet and my oldest is 6...
You have to go with your gut. However, if you trust these people enough to be the Godparents of your child, then I would think allowing your daughter to spend the night would be a no brainer. My best friend and I allow our daughters to spend the night and have for the last year or so and our daughters are 4 and 5 now but started when they were 3 and 4. You may be surprised on how well she does at their house. Just because she wakes up at your house and ends up in bed with you 98% of the time does not mean that will occur at their house. Plus, if she wants to come home, they will call you to come get her. I know it's hard letting them spend the night as it was for me, but it also teaches them a bit of independence and self reliance. You will figure it out, but my personal opinion - let her stay the night. She will have a blast.
Good luck in your decision making.
I agree that she is too young. Don't feel bad . You have to do what feels right for your family.
I think I would let her go and worry my pants off. If you really do believe they would care for her and are J. worried about the sleeping sittuation I would let her go, worst case scenario they call you in the middle of the night, or lay next to her for a few.....my daughter is the same as your daughter at home, but at sleep overs shes perfectly content sleeping next to any kid...as long as theres someone there she'll stay asleep and she feels like a big girl for not getting up and going to a parents room. Kids are more resilliant and actually act more mature when their parents aren't thre to coddle them (as we all do) I say change your mind and let her go unless your worried about other things other than sleep.
I would have done it. My daughter was always a co-sleeper. My SIL offered to watch her overnight. My nephew and my daughter were so excited. I believe she was around 2.5 at the time. I was a nervous wreck because at that point, she had only been at my parents. She did great! And has proved me wrong at EVERY sleep over since.
If the parents knew the conditions then I would go for it. I'd also, be prepared to pick her up in the night, if need be. But that is just how I feel. :)
