Need to Know from Other Moms Im Making Right Choice..

I wouldn't be a fan of daycares, either, if this was my experience with them.

When I was looking for preschools for my son I went to over 50 of them. I thought I had simple stadards:

"Safe, fun, & interesting."

Only 3 of them met all 3 criteria. I chose my favorite of the 3, and it was the BEST experience. I actually cried when my son aged out, because we were losing such an amazing part of my son's life.

You are absolutely doing the right thing here. Your child is your concern and if you question the quality of care for any valid reason (of which you have had several), you have every right to terminate the agreement.

Look over your contract (if you have one) and follow it. If there is no contract, then write a "formal letter" with your next payment stating in clear terms that you are discontinuing the sitting services and this check will serve as payment through the final date.

Dear ______,

Thank you for the care you have provided over the last ____ months. Due to personal reasons, we are electing to move ____ to a daycare center beginning August 15th. Please find enclosed a check for ______ which will address services rendered from today ______ through August 12, 2011.

Sincerely,

A. S.

If she asks, you don't need to elaborate. It's your child and your decision. Period.

A. - you dont have to look at it as firing her. Tell her that you can see that she is under a lot of pressure right now with her husband's health condition and such and for now you feel like it's best to put your child in a different situation that is less stressful and where he can play outside with other kids, etc.

You might be able to find a list of licensed daycares in your area through the local licensing agency. At least then, you could find an in-home daycare that meets the state requirements for supervision, cleanliness and safety.

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Yes, remove your child. It sounds as if your mind is already made up anyway.

Where are you looking or where are you located that you are touring dirty, unsafe daycares?

You said you have found a few facilities that meet your standards. Pick one, make sure you have a spot for your 15 mo old, then tell the current sitter you are putting your child in day care. You don't need to explain, but if you choose to, tell her the truth about your concerns, or tell her you want the baby to start more of a "school"program for socialization purposes.

I am in shock you son is still there! just tell her you do not need her services anymore and find someone else. I am thinking that the fact that they cannot even go outside is enough to find a new sitter. This is not a situation for a baby at all! Look for someone who is licensed for an in-home daycare as they are checked on by the state and tend to be a bit more professional.

Follow your instincts. There is way too much going on. I never want to hurt anyones feelings, so, I would just play it as a new developmental stage for your son. "I feel he needs to learn to socialize with other kids and want him to have an organized professional curriculum, plus you've got so much on your plate right now, that I thouhgt it would be a good time to transition him to a professional facility." Noone can argue when a mother says its in the best interest of the child.

Absolutely look for another form of care for your son. Unacceptable for him not to get outside all day. I would also bet that he is put into the toy room to play by himself all day or watch tv. This woman has too much going on to interact with a child. And just this whole home environment is so bad for a little kid....I can only imagine what a depressing place this is. Whenyou take her out you owe her no explanation...if you feel the need you should tell her that you want to get him in an environment where he can get outside and be stimulated and get a chance to play with other kids. Don't feel guilty at all-there is no way this woman should be babysitting right now.

Your first obligation is to your son. You can not let her issues cloud your decisions when it comes to your child. If your child is not getting adequate care and attention then it's time to move him elsewhere. I would just tell her that you are having to let her go at this time because you have become aware that she is incapable of giving him her undivided attention that he deserves at this time due to the amount of issues she is having to deal with currently. Tell her that you wish her the best and hope that she takes this time to focus on her issues in order to improve her situation.

Yes, I would find a different child care provider right away. For me it is very important my child do something outside EVERY day. No staying inside!!! Plus I would want someone more professional and someone with more enthusiasm for doing child activities. Our day care person took our son and the other 5 kids out daily, plus she took the kids to swim lessons once, to the local museum and aquarium (free), to different kid activities around town. I would not be happy with someone like you have right now. It is HARD work to find a good day care person. I had to interview so many people before I found another great person. And I only found this person by asking around and word of mouth by other mothers. Good luck and it's great to have high standards! Your child will benefit from that! Just tell your sitter in a professional way that she is no longer meeting your needs. You feel your son needs a different kind of setting. You wish her luck in life and you wish her all the best.

Hi, A.:

Does your son seem happy?

Does the babysitter think your son is too much for her?

Do you tell the babysitter that you don't want to hear her problems?

Is the babysitter telling you her issues different from you telling us your issues?

Just wondering.
D.

You are making the right choice. Find a place where you know your son will be safe and away from so much drama for the time being. So what if there is a "dirty sock" in the corner? As long as the toys and floor are clean and he is being nurtured and loved and the caretaker herself is clean, then he'll be okay for now.

As for your sitter, just tell her you decided to try out this other place for now. Make sure she doesn't think she has done anything wrong. Ask her if you can keep in touch w/her. Don't elude that you'll call her when you hear her life all the drama in her life has calmed down. and for your child's safety, don't tell her the bad news if she still has a few more days to watch your son. You don't want her to get upset or angry w/you and you still have to leave him w/her.

Maybe its jsut me but if I drop my son off at someone's house for childcare, I would never chose an environment when there is a cheating husband hobbling around my kid for who knows how long.

Um, yeah I'd be looking for somewhere else. It's the summer... Kids should play outside. And if they can't take him outside, what else can't they do?

Because of past issues and how you're feeling right now, yes, make the switch. Even if a new place is only temporary until you find something better I think you should make the switch. It's the right choice.

When you let her go, I would just be gentle. "Hey, Esther, I appreciate all you've done for us and how well you've taken care of Darius. Unfortunately it's not working out for us any more and we don't require your services any longer. Thank you for caring for him for so long." Give her a specific end date and along with her pay, maybe a gift certificate to a book store or something.

Choose another setting for your child.
This current situation, is noxious.

Some Daycares are really great.
YOU choose one.... by visiting them and having tours of them.
Or, find another in-home care provider.

Get out of this one.
There is nothing positive about this current care provider.

I would look for a new sitter. Florida has a website for licensed daycares. It includes home daycares. You should check to see if PA has one too.

Yes, remove your child as soon as possible. Your son's safety is more important than sparing her feelings, even though she is having a rough time right now. Look for daycares that are licensed through the state or are DHR/DFACS certified. They should be able to tell you this when you contact them. They are held to higher standards and have to stay in strict compliance in order to keep their doors open. The previous suggestions on putting in a notice to your current sitter are spot on. It is possibly going to be an uncomfortable 5 minute conversation, but the relief you feel when it is over will be totally worth it! You will probably see a big difference in the way your son acts and even sleeps when he is around other children his age and able to run around and play in the sunshine. Trust me when I say, great childcare is PRICELESS!
Good luck with everything!