Need Suggestions to Help Get Son to Sleep in His Crib.

Updated on April 09, 2007
T.L. asks from Fort Worth, TX
19 answers

My son who is almost 5 weeks old has slept in bed with me and my husband since we brought him home. At his one month check-up his doctor said now is the time to get him used to his crib. He can be sound asleep and as soon as we put him in his crib he wakes up. We will leave him there in hopes he will fall back to sleep but he doesn't. I didn't think you could spoil a newborn or that we would really know the difference but it seems that I am wrong. We have only tried it for a day and we have tried to start getting him adjusted by doing it when he naps. We have yet to even try it at nighttime. Any suggestions?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I did the same thing when my son was born. I kept saying when he's 3 months I'll be more insistant on him sleeping alone because he slept so much LONGER when he was with me. Needless to say I never broke him of the habit and he still sleeps with me. He's one. It is really hard to listen to them cry but I would recommend giving it a try...from what I've heard three days seems to be the magic number, but like I said I never made it to day 3. Good luck.
M.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.T.

answers from Dallas on

The Baby Whisperer is great. I have been doing it since day one. Some of it takes lots of disipline on your part but you will be glad you followed it. GOod Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Dallas on

Your son needs to learn to FALL asleep in his crib. As you notice him getting tired and doing his little "tired" signs, thats when you need to put him to bed. I have a 5 month old and he generally flips out for 1 (no more than 5) minutes before going to sleep. Listen carefully too! If the crying goes from a more high pitched cry to just a cry (and it's been more than 5 minutes) don't go in, he's about to go to sleep. The longest we let our babies cry is about 15 minutes~ give or take.
I know it can be like torture to hear them cry, but if you start now it shouldn't take more than a couple of days to get this under control.
One other suggestion is to buy one of those co-sleeper "boxes"... it looks like a big shoe box. You're supposed to use it in your bed, but we used it in the crib while the babies were really little, that way there's not any transition from bassinet to crib. Also one night when Andrew was extremely cranky we just moved the shoe box into bed with us and then the next night we moved it back to his crib. There were no transition problems.
Hope that helps~ e-mail if you need more info: ____@____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Dallas on

First of all Congrats on your little blessing. My youngest has always slept in my room being a single mom from the time I was 16 wks pregnant. When he was just days he slept in the pack n play (the top part which is smaller like a basinett) I would rock him evey night then put him down then that is the only way he would fall asleep until he was about 13 months old when I said enough is enough and he had to cry it out.
He also started sleeping in my bed at about 5-6 months when he got REALLY sick w/103.5 temp and had URI and I never put him back to his bed but he would sleep in his bed during naps but then and still to this day at almost 23 months old he still wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to climb in my bed and snuggle and to tell you the truth that is what I love the most is seeing him in the morning with a beautiful smile facing me and him hugging and kissong on me. Yes, I do have my night that I would like to have the whole bed to myself all night long and I do get those on occassion about 3 nights a week so he has gradually gotten there.

I think it's okay to let him sleep w/you if it doesn't bother you and hubby but you might want to start gradually getting him in a basinett or pack n play cause eventually you and hubby need your bed back until me that it's just me w/no man in my life besides my 2 boys.

Good Luck and I hope this helps. I know how hard it is and it does take time and swaddling him definitely helps and the paci helps too.

M.
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, congratulations on your little miracle!! Now, I am not great at my kids sleeping with me, so I have honestly never had this problem, but they did sleep in a bassinet in my room, so that might help. I also had a child that hated, actually refused, to sleep flat on her back. She would sleep in the swing, but we let her sleep on her stomach at around 10 weeks. Now I realize that according to recent studies, that might increase the risk of SIDS, but we had no other risk factors, and she took a pacifier, which helps alot in prevention of SIDS. Anyway, I also think that maybe along with swaddling, you could try one of those positioners because it holds them close too. Finally, maybe something that smells like you..sleep with one of the babies blankets for a few nights, and then see if you can let him use it. Anyway, best of luck in this new endeavor, you will be blessed beyond measure! ~A.~

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Seattle on

The wide open spaces of a big ol' crib can be scary for a newborn. Do you have a bassinet? Both of mine slept in a bassinet for the first couple of months. Also, if he is falling asleep in your warm arms, the bed is probably very cold, which is why he is waking up as soon as you lay him down. You can warm it by placing a heating pad on LOW for a few minutes in the crib before you put him down...but be very careful to take the heating pad out before you put him down, and also touch the sheets with your hand or forearm to be sure it isn't too hot. A safer way to warm it is to hold a blanket (in addition the the one you are swaddeling him with) and place it down before you put him down. I also put my girls kind of back in the corner of the crib when we first started using it, so they felt a little more protected. Sometimes they just have to cry. I never could have let either of mine cry it out at 5 weeks old, but I might let them fuss a minute or two at first to see if they calmed themselves down and went back to sleep. YOu have many sleepless nights ahead of you, I hat to tell you! Soon, he should fall into his own sleep pattern and you will finally get some well-deserved rest! Hang in there! It will take some trial and error, but you will all figure it out!

Good luck!
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats on your little one. Things will get easier every week. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old. I just wanted to let you know of a book that was a life saver for us called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. She is extremely practical and she has charts in the book that you can refer to. I kept the different sections tabbed and would refer to it constantly. One thing regarding sleep is she has you watch for their cues. She says once they have yawned twice and definelty be three yawns get them in their bed. Her tips are amazing & because of her both my babies were really easy. With my son, I was not given the book till he was 6 weeks and it transformed him to such an easy baby. She is not an extremist on letting them cry it out or going the other direction. She will give you tips on how to get them to go to sleep when they have also meet the meltdown stage. I can't say enough good things about it. It will be a very quick read.

Good Luck and Congrats! You are smart on working on things early before they become to much of a habit!

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.J.

answers from Dallas on

There is a wonderful book called the Baby Whisperer. The author suggests putting your baby to bed drowsy but not asleep. Unlike "crying it out" she suggests staying in there with the baby patting his back until he falls asleep. My son slept 9 hours since 8 weeks old until he turned 6 months. Then everything changed. I started trying her method when he was 8 months old and I can say it really works. At first they will cry and resist but as long as they can see you and hear you they will begin to be comforted. The book really is a good one. I know weveral people who swear by it. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Dallas on

I kept my son in a bassinet (actually the bassinet part of a pack and play) until 2 months so it was smaller for him. I also kept a night light on and something for white noise. If he didn't have those he would wake up right away. On his two month birthday I moved him up to his crib and he did fine. Are you swaddling him securely? That definitely helps. You may also want to try one of those teddy bears that makes the mothers womb and or heart beat sounds. They can attach to the crib rails so you don't have to worry about them being in the crib with the baby. I know many babies including my own that really get attached to theirs. You can get them at Babies R Us.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.

answers from Dallas on

I guess my first question would be, what you want to do? Is your intention to have a family bed or do you eventually want you child to sleep in his own crib? According to some (and I agree), 5 weeks is a little young to have the baby "cry it out". My opinion (and it is just an opinion), is you can not spoil a baby this young. In fact I was just reading that by responding to their needs you are building trust between you and your baby. That said, I have a child who has never been a good sleeper, I did eventually let her "cry" but not until she was 6 months old and then I only did the modified version (going in after 5, 10, 15 minutes to rub her back).
For the first two months, my baby slept in a moses basket in the top of her pack in play. At about 2 months, I moved the moses basket into her crib in her room. She grew out of the moses basket at about 3 months, which is when I put her in her crib. The transitions went pretty smoothly.
I really like "healthy sleep habits, healthy child", it basically talks about how for the first 3 months the baby really needs to feel comforted and why they sleep better when they are on you because they hear your heart beat and smell you.
You just have to do what works for you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 2 1/2 and I remember being in a similar situation as yours. I used a Miracle Blanket to swaddle her, which worked to get her to sleep for a few hours, but still not as long as I had hoped. Since I had a c-section, I slept on a couch that had an incline so I could get up/lay down without too much pain. I ended up putting my daughter in a swing that went side-to-side or her vibrating bouncer, and she slept next to me. These both worked great -- likely because they both were small and comforting. I noticed people recommended a bassinet and I think that would be a great idea. My daughter was so big, that she would have outgrown a bassinet quickly -- so we didn't go that route, but if we have another child who is smaller, then I'd definitely get one.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Dallas on

Everyone's suggestions have me scared. My son is 10 months old, still sleeps in my bed w/ me & his daddy and STILL wakes up every couple of hours -- sometimes to "snack" or just so I'll move him around or turn him over. I tell my bf that, if you include my last trimester, I haven't slept in over a year. The longest my baby sleeps is usually from about 3:30am until I wake him up at 6:30am (I wake up at 5:30am for work). Last weekend he actually slept from 9pm to almost 1am but that doesn't happen often (and I had insomnia until midnight, of course). He naps in his crib but if I put him in his crib for the night, I can't keep myself from bringing him to my bed the first time he wakes up.

I, too, hate that I've let it go on for this long. If I'd been able to tough out his crying months ago this all might just be a memory by now. At least I know I'm not completely alone. Best of luck to you (and to those with similar issues).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.F.

answers from Dallas on

I let my daughter sleep with us for too long! Personally, I wanted her out of my bed but it was easy to have her there. We used the bassinet next to our bed and friends of mine have done the thing that attaches to your bed. Maybe try laying with him during naps until he falls asleep and then get up. Or let him sleep in a swing. Our daughter also loved to be swaddled. That really helped!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 4 months old and she has slept with me since day one. If your son is used to sleeping with you, it's going to take some time to get him used to sleeping alone.

But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with your baby sleeping with you. The best part of my day is waking up and seeing my sweet baby girl's face smiling at me....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.D.

answers from Dallas on

I know I'm slow to respond, but I like to let you know that it is okay and really 5 weeks in my opinion is too young to really push things unless you want the schedule. My daughter was like that and she is now 4years old. We let her sleep with us until she was 3 months old before we started moving her to her crib. She do her last night nursing, I'd put her in her crib then when she woke up for the next I'd bring her to our bed and keep her there. It wasn't an issue for us, but you have to decided what you want. If it doesn't bother you then let him sleep with you. Remeber that at 3, 6 and 9 weeks, they go through growth spurts and all our schedules change. The same thing happens at 3, 6, and 9 years. Crazy isn't it? I hope this was a little helpful.

About me: I am a SAHM with a 4 year old and a 2 year old.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have to tell you now that this is not going to be easy. Take it from a mother of a TWELVE year old and an 18-month old. I swore that I would never have another child in my bed, but when my daughter was born 18months ago, I reverted back to my old ways. I totally regret that I did not take care of this sooner.

I know you hate to hear this, but they are going to have to cry. Trust me it will be easier to do this now than later. Babies need to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep. When your baby wakes up in his crib, just fight the urge to go to him. It will be hard, but eventually he will learn to settle himself back down to sleep. (Did I mention that my 12 year old slept with me until she was 10 AFTER I became pregnant with my 18-month old). You want to teach your son to have good sleeping habits and by biting the bullet now it will be easier in the long run. My toddler has NO problem getting into her crib at the sitters and going to sleep but at home it is a totally different story. I am a teacher so I get summers and holidays off. When my daughter is home with me for a week, she fusses and has to sleep in my bed. When we return to the sitters, it takes about 2 days of her crying it out, but then she is back in her routine.

Sorry to be so long winded, but I am just so disappointed in how I have let this problem get this far and want to do what I can to help out.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,

I suggest you get and read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. It was recommended to me by other Mamas on this list and I wish I had had it when my daughter was a new born (she turned 3 in Feb). It will help you understand how and why babies sleep and take you through all their stages of development. It is so important to the development and happiness of your child (and yourselves) to know and understand the value of quality sleep. It is an easy read and a book you'll want to keep referring to when he progresses to the next stage of development and his sleep habits change.

Congratulations on your new son and good luck! N.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.

answers from Dallas on

We swaddled our baby and it saved our lives as far as getting him to sleep and keeping him asleep. I know some people are completely against swaddling, so I realize it's not for everyone. Best of luck to you! Transitioning by baby from the side sleeper to the crib was one of the hardest things we had to do (probably more for me than for him). :-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.T.

answers from Dallas on

He is still VERY young, and to go from the warmth of your bed to that big open crib is a HUGE adjustment for him!!

Both my sons slept on me until 3 months (4 for my 2nd). When I decided to put them in their crib, I took it very slowly. I did not expect either one to sleep very long in the crib at first. But it really didn't take very long. I also used the bouncy seat as a transition since it cradles them more than the bed and makes them feel more secure. IMHO, they can still be fairly easily transitioned at 3-4 months before they get "spoiled" to your bed. Both my boys (now 2 & 5) are very good, independent sleepers, so apparently I didn't spoil them.

OK, I'm going to be the rebel here. If you like him in your bed for now, then keep him there until he gets a little more mature. Enjoy it, that phase doesn't last long, and you will miss it!!

P.S. Swaddling works very well for transitioning.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches