Need Suggestions on Gettting My 3 Month Old to Sleep in His Crib

Updated on August 28, 2008
N.N. asks from Bryan, TX
33 answers

My 3 month old son refuses to sleep lying down on his back. He will only sleep in his swing or in his car seat. When I lay him on his back in his crib he acts like he's very uncomfortable. Even if he's sound asleep the minute I lay him down he immediately wakes up and starts to cry. I would like for him to start sleeping in his crib, but I don't know what to do. Has anyone else ever had this issue and what are your suggestions?

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Yes, I had the same problem as what you are describing...I had a light bulb moment at 2am one morning when he had falling asleep on my legs on his tummy. I put him on his tummy and he slept almost through the night. My son also had acid reflux some so laying on his back was umcomfortable and sleeping in his crib in his car seat was better until my lightbulb moment and then he was sleeping so good!

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J.P.

answers from Houston on

Hi N., that is always frustrating when little ones won't sleep. My third one had reflux and only slept in her bouncy seat until she was 6 mo old. I finally realized that if she was comfortable and slept it wasn't a bad thing. Also, when we did start in her crib, like the other moms, we elevated the head of bed. AND, we have this cool device we got at Target. It has a flat oval egg device that you put under the crib and then it vibrates the crib. The receiver attaches to the crib rail and it also plays music and has a little night light. She loves this thing and always falls asleep after a couple minutes of the crib vibrating. Good Luck!!!!

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J.H.

answers from San Angelo on

I am the kind of mom who needs her sleep so I do whatever it takes to get my boys to sleep. Both of my boys preferred sleeping on their tummies. It made me nervous with my first son but I soon realized that if there was nothing to suffocate on he would be ok. I am also guilty of letting my kids sleep with me. I never meant for it to become a habit but it was the only way I got any sleep.

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

I can tell you that I went through a year of hell with my son trying to make him sleep on his back. He didn't like it and wouldn't do it but I insisted because of the whole SIDS thing.

My daughter (second child) was sleeping on her stomach, unswaddled, head covered in the hospital and slept fine. The nurses hated me but it's MY CHILD! LOL. I learned the hard way and re-did things with my DD. When we got home from the hospital, she either slept on her side (in a baby positioner) or on her tummy. She would sleep through the whole night!! I would even have to constantly wake her for her feedings. She had jaundice and needed to be fed every 3 hours for a month. After that, it was back to sleep all night!

Bottom line is do what works. If your son is on him tummy though, just make sure the sheets are really tight and there are no blankets or toys in the crib. See if it works. Also at three months, he is still young enough to be swaddled (if he likes it) and you can also try a baby positioner for his side.

Sorry you are going through this, it's pointless to tell you not to get frustrated, because if he's not sleeping, frustration is unavoidable, just take it all in stride and know that it will pass. Try different things and find what works for you and your son.
Good Luck

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M.Z.

answers from Austin on

dear N.,
i had the same problem with my second daughter. she wouldnt sleep in her crib until she was about 4-5 months old. she only wanted to sleep in her swing. i was breastfeeding so instead of waking my husband and 1st child up i moved her and her crib into the living room. i would breastfeed her on the couch and then put her in her crib. she would fuss but i would hold her hand through the crib bars while laying on the couch until she went to sleep.
you may never feel like your going to get sleep again, but just keep doing what you want him to do while meeting him half way.
M.

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E.L.

answers from Houston on

I'd put him on his tummy and surround him with rolled-up blankets so that the crib space he "feels" is smaller and not wide-open and vast and thus, less secure. You could look into checking out the website called the happiest baby on the block (some of the ideas might work, but it's geared toward newborns-3 months old)....you could buy an Amby Baby hammock bed from craigslist and then re-sell it easily after he's out of it. You can read the details of the reports for SIDS and I was really shocked that the focus is to put them on the back although that connection to sids was almost insignificantly low compared to the other connections/possible reasons they made. I think babies want to be on their tummies for a health and comfort reason. (And I'm giving this advice assuming that you don't smoke pot, cigarettes, circulate poor quality air in your house, and don't use baby sheets with non-flammability chemicals on them.)

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

My 3 month old son has reflux, so he doesn't sleep flat on his back either. We raised up one end of the mattress in the crib by putting some towels underneath it. That way, he is iclined a little. That actually didn't completely do the trick for him, so we had to let him sleep on his stomach. I realize the AAP recommends back sleeping and I struggled a lot with my decision, but this was truly the only way my baby could sleep. I'm not suggesting you need to try that, but I would at least try to get a positioner that inclines or raise the end of the mattress. My only problem with the positioners was that he could roll right off of it. I bought one when he was a month old and returned it the next day because he rolled off of it and was stuck up against the side of the crib. Luckily, he started screaming and I went in to check on him. It terrified me, so I stopped using it. Best of luck to you. It's so hard at this age! Happy sleeping.

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T.W.

answers from Austin on

i had the same problem with my baby. she would wake up and scream as soon as i laid her down. i'd pick her up and instantly be back to sleep. i found out she had severe silent reflux. once she was on medicine she would sleep in her crib. it turned out it was too painful for her to lay down, and was only comfy if i was holding her or she was sleeping on my chest. hopefully you won't have the issue with reflux, but worth checking into if your son has other symptoms. good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Austin on

Hi N.,
Either he's just not used to it, since you've always had him sleeping upright, or he has something medical going on like acid reflux (or some combination, perhaps).

Whichever reason is causing your baby to be uncomfortable, you might find that an incline works for him---just be sure to get one with raised side walls so that he doesn't roll off. We used an incline with our baby boy, combined with swaddling, when he was little (now he's 16 months old) and it worked really well---especially since we didn't feel comfortable putting him on his stomach that early.

What's nice is that you can use the incline to put him to sleep on either his back or his side...just adjust those side walls that I mentioned before so that he is kept snuggly on his side and doesn't roll off (ours came with velcro, so that you could narrow or widen the sides). Since the side position is also recommended by the AAP for SIDS prevention, and since it also may help him transition to his back and/or help him with acid reflux, if he has that problem, you may want to try that position in the incline.

One other thing you might try, if the incline device is not a sharp enough incline for him at this first step (you may need to transition him from sharper to flatter incline over time), is to roll up a towel or blanket or place a pillow UNDER his crib mattress to jack up one side and created a sharper incline. Our doctor told us to do that at one point when our baby was sick because it could help with congestion/drainage.

I hope this helps. Good luck!
D.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

Wow, you got a lot of great advice! I will have to echo the reflux answers -- both my kids had it, and putting them flat created problems, especially that young, so we too elevated the bed. Another tip is to hold them upright for about 20 minutes after a feeding to let the milk & acid digest and go down.

However, if it is reflux, you should be seeing other symptoms other than just not sleeping on his back and your pediatrician should be able to help you with that. Nothing wrong with getting a checkup or asking questions. I'd do that, actually, just to rule out reflux before trying some of the other great suggestions posted here. That way, if it is reflux, you can start treating it sooner rather than later. Hope this helps and good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Austin on

We had the same issue. It turns out our son was uncomfortable lying flat b/c he has acid reflux and it burns so badly when he lies down flat. The carseat and swing are upright, so gravity naturally kept the milk down. We bought a Tucker Sling and elevated his crib mattress to 30 degrees. The sling also makes him feel secure because he is tightly fastened in it. He is 4 months old now and has been sleeping comfortably in his crib for 3 weeks. (Also, we transitioned him by putting his carseat in his crib for a week with him in it just so he'd get used to the crib and his room without mom and dad next to him.) Good luck.

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B.W.

answers from San Antonio on

I have had great success with the Amby Baby Hammock with both of my children. It is a soft mattress in a hammock that is suspended by a spring from a metal frame. The baby does not lie completely flat and the hammock swaddles him while he sleeps. If the baby does start to squirm around they will usually rock themselves back to sleep. My son slept in his until he was almost a year old. As he got older I could put him in it awake and he would litteraly arch his back and bounce himself back to sleep. I know this doesn't help if you are set on using a crib, but I am using it with my three year old daughter now and she has been sleeping 9 hours at night for several weeks now. Good luck.

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K.E.

answers from Longview on

I'm having this problem with my five month old. I read this in Parent's magizine. What I have been doing is make sure your son has a full tummy and a clean diaper and put him in his crib somewhat awake. For the first week he will cry. Just give him a special "bedtime" toy that he can associate with going to sleep. It will rip your heart out to hear your baby scream but after a week he will eventually just go to sleep when you place him in his crib.

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M.C.

answers from Austin on

Our daughter had issues as well, and for her it had nothing to do with acid reflux. We actually had to swaddle her in a blanket for the first four months. This helped her adjust to the large crib (versus the bassinet) at two months. Good luck!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

My daughter would not sleep on her back. We rolled up a towel and wedged her, but she would just roll to her tummy. The doctor said her tummy was fine as long as we did not have anything els in the crib with her.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

Try putting him in his bouncy or carseat in his crib so that he's used to being in there. Then elevate the mattress in the crib so that he's not flat but on his back in his bed. Soon he'll be used to it and sleeping and then you can lower the mattress.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

My first wouldn't sleep on his back either, so after a month of sleeping on my chest I noticed he could already lift his head and move it side to side. I let him sleep on his tummy. That is controversial, I know, but for him it was right (plus I was getting up constantly to nurse, so I knew he was safe!).

My second also wouldn't sleep on her back, but this time I tried swaddling. This made all the difference for her. I used the large hospital blanket at first, but when she grew a little I bought a SwaddleMe, and it worked wonders. When she grew out of it, I bought the larger one! I stopped swaddling at 6 months. Until then, she couldn't sleep in her crib on her back without being swaddled.

I would definitely recommend swaddling. Many babies act like they don't like being swaddled at first, but then it settles them. I used to wrap my daughter like a little burrito, then nurse, and nestled her in my arms on her side (by the way, these things are part of the "5 Ss" from Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block, a book I would highly recommend to you!). Worked wonders!

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R.A.

answers from Austin on

I my name is R..I have a 3 month old son.He really doesn't like his crib either.The same thing he like to sleep in the car and swing.He does sleep in bed with us.If I put him in the crib he wake up immediately and cried for me to get him out.The Baby like to feel warm close to their mom.I have mom telling me that they keep their baby with them,so I mean to spoil them.This is my fourth baby.It is better to keep them on their back is what Dr say.I can put my son on the couch and he will stay asleep.It may be the mattress in his crib not soft could be hard.I sure hope our baby started sleeping in the crib,cause then he will start to move and don't want them to fall off.Let me know if he get to sleep in his crib

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B.A.

answers from Killeen on

Hi N.,

Since our daughter, who just turned 8, was such a fussy baby and wouldn't sleep at all it seemed, I did my research for our son who is now 2 months old. I knew I needed something other than a standard crib for our bed. I ended up with an amby baby bed. It is amazing. I asked my husband last night if he too thought it was a miracle bed. I can't speak enough positive things about it. I love it. I have heard it be referred lovingly as baby crack, they need it once they've had it. He began sleeping through the night immediately once I started using it. I love it!

Good luck.
B.

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C.C.

answers from Austin on

It could be gas. Have you tried Gripe Water?

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

I have a son that slept on me in a recliner until he was 7 months old! Either me or a swing. Both of my boys had severe reflux and laying flat was never an option. I would receommend trying to elevate the head of the bed. You can fold or roll up a blanket and put it under the mattress. It may help. If it is ongoing, I would have him looked at for reflux and possibly meds to help.

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A.A.

answers from Austin on

Put yourself in the babies position. Babies are not comfortable on their backs.....try lying the baby on its side and if that fails let the baby sleep wherever they are comfortable. Sleep is very important to all so dont fight it.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

I have a 5 year old and an 18 month old. Neither of my boys would sleep on their backs. Like you said they seemed very uncomfortable. I put both of them on their tummies & they've slept really well ever since. I know most doctors say not to, but it was the best thing I've ever done. I have a bebe sounds monitor which has a sensor pad that goes under the mattress, it detects movement from the baby's breathing. If it detects no movement for 20 seconds, it will set off an alarm on the parents monitor. I think it offers a kind of safety net for allowing the baby to sleep on his/her stomach! Hope this helps.

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R.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Try an inclined sleep positioner. If your son sleeps well in his carseat and swing, it may be because he likes the incline of those two things. Also, the carseat and swing are somewhat enclosed with sides on them. An inclined sleep positioner has wedges on both sides to keep the baby from rolling off, which would make your son feel more enclosed like when he is in the carseat or swing. You can get one at Babies R Us. GOOD LUCK!!!

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J.D.

answers from Austin on

N.,

I had this problem, too. I had to keep my son sleeping in a bassanet until he was 5months old and no loner fit. I also had to put a standard pillow covered by a towel (so it wasn't a suffication hazard) in it and prop it up slightly so he was at a little incline. Then, at 5 or 6 months, when I put him in a crib, I had to prop the front of the crib up by sticking towels
under the head part so he was at an incline again. Once he started rolling (around 8 months) he no longer required the incline. Strange,huh? But the trick was to create an incline and a soft (but safe) mattress. I think it may have had to do with gas pains.
The only time I could put him on his back was to change his diaper.

Good luck

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L.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi N.. I am not 100% this will work for you, but I had the same thing happen with my son, and a good mommy friend told me that it was because the crib was cold. So, I bought a heating pad and would lay it in the crib while I was changing/feeding baby, then after 10 min or so, turn it off, and TAKE IT OUT. This leaves a nice warm spot for baby, and I swear it was like magic for my son. We used this method til he was 5 mos old! Just remember to take out the heating pad before laying baby down. Worth a try.. you can get a cheap one at CVS for $15. Good Luck! Swaddling might help too!

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

I have a 16 month old now, but I remember this very clearly! She would lie on her back and draw her legs up over and over again, I'm not sure if he's doing that too. Honestly, just like everything else with babies, it will just take time. My daughter used to nap in her swing until 4 months old. We started to put her in her crib to play for a while during the day, so that she would start to feel comfortable in there. Make sure the mattress is comfortable, and you can also buy one of those incline things. I think that made a little difference. You can get them at Babies r Us. Just keep putting him in there and it will get better, but I can remember thinking that we'd NEVER get our baby out of the swing and we did.

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J.M.

answers from Austin on

In my opinion 3 months is a bit young for your baby to be sleeping by himself in a crib. My husband and I had a little baby bed that we put in between us on our kingsize bed and our baby slept in that until he was 5 months old. He now loves to sleep in his own crib. My suggestions would be to start him in a playpen. If your baby can turn himself around then being in a crib shouldn't be a problem but if he can't, he could get that SIDS. He may have reflux. Our son has severe reflux and he hated sleeping on his back too. The older he gets though he seems to be getting past that but he still prefers to sleep on his stomach but he has a very strong neck and back and is able to roll himself over when he wants too. Good luck to you!

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

I believe we are in the same boat...my 3 month old daughter does the same thing. She has reflux so laying flat is uncomfortable. You can buy a wedge to position your son on or you could just tilt one end of his crib mattress so he isn't laying flat.

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R.T.

answers from Killeen on

Hi N.,

Congratulations! It sounds like you have your hands full :)

I have a 7 month old daughter and she did the same thing. She would only sleep in her bouncy seat. She slept in it until she was 4 months old! It turned out that she had acid reflux and had to start taking medicine. It made all the difference and she now sleeps fine. She also would cry and arch her back while she was eating. The doctor said that this was a symptom. You might check this avenue out. Good luck :)

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

Start transferring to the crib after he falls asleep so that he wakes up in there. A mobile that lights up and has a lot of color in it will do wonders. Keep the door open and the monitor on..

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E.G.

answers from Killeen on

Take him to his doctor and make sure there is nothing medical going on with his spine. Maybe a nerve is pinched or some other spinal problem. If no medical problem, check out his mattress, maybe it is too soft or hard. Try putting him on his side. I am a adult and I cannot sleep on my back due to spinal problems. Does hurt to check him out medically first, then the mattress.

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A.R.

answers from Austin on

Hi N.,

I have gone through the same situtation with my son who is now almost 9 months. First, your son in not refusing to sleep on his back, he simply has not been taught how to self soothe and put himself to sleep. This is something that you and your husband have to teach him. You have been using props to put him to sleep, like the swing and the car seat. I was doing the same thing, along with using breastfeeding because he would usually fall asleep feeding. I would strongly recommend a book, "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer," by Tracy Hogg. This book changed my life, and at just the right time. When he was about two months we started putting him in his crib awake for his naps and started implementing a routine everytime. He started sleeping through the night at 4 months, and still does perfectly at almost 9 months. Best of Luck, A.

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