Need Some Help

try 3mg melatonin... i give it to my adhd daughter when shes really too wired to sleep. I first read about it on the enzymes and autism grp and have found it to be invaluable for both my daughter and myself on occasion..

Hi A.- We had this problem with our son-he wanted to sleep in our bed, wouldn't go to bed until we did...it was exhausting,not to mention we had NO downtime from the kids because of this! This sounds silly, but have you ever watched Super Nanny? I am a big fan! I started watching her show 3 years ago when it first came on, and was amazed at how many kids do the same thing to their parents when it comes to bedtime! I was SURE that it wouldn't work for our son, he was older than the kids she tried it on, but we tried it and IT WORKED!!! I told my son that he was way too old to be sleeping with mom and dad, and on such and such a date he would start sleeping in his own bed. (he wasn't happy...). I then did what I saw on the show, tucked him in ,read him a book, said goodnight, and walked out. He came out (crying), and you are supposed to calmly say that it is bedtime, and walk him back in. After the 3rd time, you aren't supposed to speak to him any longer, just walk him back in (drag is more like it!!!), put him in bed, and walk out. It takes the longest on the first night- but after a few nights, you won't believe it, he will go to bed without the fighting! Supposedly, it's all about the power, I don't know, I think that he just wanted us, butit's great now! Every once in a while, he would come in our room in the middle of the night, but I would walk him back in and he was half asleep, and went back with no fuss.Now he sleeps in his bed like it's nothing! The first few nights, you just want to scream "stay in your bed", but I guess it's more effective if you don't talk at all!!! I'm sure your thinking that this will never work, but I thought that too, it does!

Hi A.,
My oldest son, who is now about to turn 16, has AD/HD with extreme hyperactivity, so I understand completely what you're going through. You didn't mention if he's medicated or not. Mine is, and the roller coaster effect of the meds wearing off in the evening was really rough for us, too. We talked to the Doc and opted for a low dose of Strattera to maintain a level, with the Concerta during the day when he really needed it for school. There are so many combinations of meds available, and I would be sure to talk to his doctor about alternatives.

As far as the bed/sleeping situation, my son always started out in his own bed, but came in with me every night. Since I am a really sound sleeper, I didn't really notice, but I told him that when he turned 11 he had to stay in his own bed. For some reason, the kid who fights me on EVERYTHING, just accepted this. I think it was because I put it on a birthday, and attributed it to him being big, not a personal rejection (he's very sensitive).

One thing that worked for us to get him to bed in the first place was that I would get him tucked in and stay with him for a specified time. DON'T lay down with him! Then, I put on quiet music and our deal was that I would come and check him at the end of every song. Then it was after every 2 songs, etc. Also, when he wakes up and comes in (which he will), just gently guide him back to his own bed. That part was harder for me, I had to make a big committment to wake up, but it was WELL worth it!

I'll just throw this out there, but do you think he's needing to connect with you one on one more? Is your husband his father? Could he feel a little displaced and/or possessive? See if you can make special time during the day when it can be just the two of you. Maybe make him your special cooking dinner helper or something but make a big deal about it to him so he feels like he's getting some alone time with you. Be sly and tell your husband beforehand to try to interrupt you so that you can say, "sorry, this is my special time with kiddo". It will make him feel very important and reinforce that you will always make time for him. The world is moving very fast for these kids, and transisitoning to night time can be really tough, and he may just be afraid to let go of you, so really let him know all day long that you have time for him.

Up until 11 is WAY too late for an 8 year old, and miserable for your marriage, I'm sure, so I would definately talk to the doctor! And good luck, believe me, I know how frustrating it is!!

Jen

I had the same sleep problem with my son who is 10 and has ADHD as well. We got a perscription from his doctor who also suggested melatonin (2m) to get his sleep pattern back in order. With the help of 2-3m of the melatonin at 8-9 each night, we were able to throw the prescription away for the heavier stuff. I just had to be careful to put him to bed at the same time each night (unfortunately on the weekends too) and get him up at a reasonable hour so he doesn't get too much sleep.

Have you tried Melatonin? Are bodies produce it naturally. My daughter and son both have ADHD and their doctor recommended it.. To help them,you can get it at WalMart or any where herbs and vitamins are sold. Hope it helps

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and hypnosis works wonder on it and other issues also. If you want more info on it just let me know. ____@____.com

D.

A.,
My son is 8 years old and just this past Christmas he went to his own room. On his own. What did it? Well, his sister and I share a bed, he had his own, and their dad has his own, but we all shared the same room. He didn't want to watch what we was watching on tv at night. So I told him he had his own room with a tv and he could sleep over there and watch whatever. His 16 year old bestfriend and cousin stayed a few nights and he slept in his room with him. I guess he foundout nothing would happen to him over in his own room and he could watch whatever he wanted over there. Now the only thing is he watches tv or plays playstation too late. I can see him from my room too. So that helps too. Good luck. I still don't like to be by myself. So he would be welcome back to my room any time he wants, because I understand why he would want to. Maybe ask him why he still wants to sleep with you. Then try to come up with a way to fix or make it better.

Maybe he shouldn't have anything containing sugar after 6pm maybe even sooner.

As far as the bed thing, he's got to go! He's too big. Your bed is for you and your husband. A line must be drawn. He can kick and scream all he wants but within a week or two he will know that you stick by what you say. He's testing to see how much control over him you actually have. The less control you have the more insecure he feels. Set a routine, set the rules and stand firm. He will probably say and do many things that will make you want to give in. Don't give in! You're actually hurting him. If his parents don't have a handle on him he will feel totally lost and, in turn, act out even more.

My son is 7. yet he doesn't have add, he is very wild. I found getting him into extra activities that let him burn off some of the steam or energy off. He plays sports, football and baseball this seems to do really well, also at bed time I found he didn't like to go to bed either but I would tuck him in nice and tight and sit on the bed for about 5 minutes. if he still didn't fall asleep I would make him aglass of warm milk. We have a special bed time ritual to help him wind down. I read a book, (sometimes this puts him to sleep) or we'll sing a song while he sipps on his milk. Just find a way to tell him your still there for him even if it means sitting on the bed every night until he falls asleep.
jackie