Need Some Advice/encouragement......

Well...You are not alone! I too, have an active 2 1/2 year old boy and a new baby girl, born March 28th. I gained 50 pounds with my first and 40 with the second. It took me 10 months to loose the first baby weight (without trying too hard, working out here and there). But this one I've been working out sooo hard and eating right and I too still have about 15-20 pounds to loose. I think we both just have to continue what we're doing and it will come off. I try to remember that phrase " It took almost a year to gain, so it'll take almost a year to lose." Good luck, let me know how you're doing!

You can do it. Yeah it will take time as it is for me.
Before I had my 2nd I went to Weight watchers and lost 37 lbs. Got Pregnant had my baby and had 33 to lose. I started when she was 3 months now she is 11 months and I've only lost 16lbs and have 17 to go. It went pretty quick the first time around but this time seems much slower. I tell myself it will happen just keep working on it. Good Luck.

The best advice I have came from my ob. I was feeling just like you, and she told me that I'd taken 9 months to get out of shape, I needed to give myself that long to get back into shape! I thought she was being a little odd, but she told me that, especially with the second baby, it always takes just a little longer. I don't think I lost all of my extra weight the second time until my son was almost a year old. Hang in there, and keep trying!

yeah, when i had a c section with my second child, i've never been able to tighten things up. a lot of scar tissue. lately i've been letting it bother me as well. i've become obsessed with exercising and eating well. i'm pretty determined at this point in my life for whatever reason it hasn't bothered me too much in the past. maybe because like you i've never really had to fight with my weight, yet as we get older our metabolism slows down.
have you tried yoga? it's something that makes me feel good and helps me not worry about what i look like. it also helps speed up our metabolism and tones our muscles, etc.

I was the same way.... I lost easy after my first,(Did practically nothing) the second I was at the same weight I was at the hospital.... and she was a yr old!!

Thats when I figured I was going to just do it. I started working out.... and it was slow. I watched what I ate. (My grilfriend gave me a saying, "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and I went by that. After a week or so you find you can eat alot less then you thought and your not hungry.

It was still slow but I found that I felt better about myself on the days I worked as opposed to the days I didnt. It actully to me a yr I think but I lost 60 lbs! I got smaller then when I was married. I was actully fit for the first time in my life and its was awsome. (Ive also found that once I stopped working out and went to my average life style my weight went back to my average weight. Not all the way to 200 but back to 160, pre-kid weight.)

I tell you about me to encourage you. You get what you put into it. Your the only one that can do it but YOU CAN DO IT!

We all go through this and of coarse the more kids and the older we get, the hard it is for weight to come off. I have struggled as well, but I learn to just love who I am and do the right things because it gives me energy and helps me feel good about myself. I think our metabalism (sp) changes and it is important to find the right " life style diet " to jump the metabalism. Muscle does weigh more and I know that the scale may not change much , but the inches will come off with consitant work. Weight Watchers is the best program in my opinion and it has helped me a lot . You can do it online for a week free, it may make you feel better to try. It sounds like your doing all you can do....but possibly another food approach to boost your metabalism will work ????? Good luck and LOVE yourself... our children need positive mommy's and daddy's around and high self-esteem, because they learn from us and our attitudes. I learned that when I shared with my daughter that I was fat and needed to go on a diet and from that point on, she would call me on being fat, even when I was loosing weight. Now I learn to say "I am trying to be Healthy and make good choices for my heart"
ha ha ha. We all learn the hard way sometimes. that was about 3 years ago, she does not say that anymore and she is 8. Best of luck. Hope I helped.

Just give it time. Your daughter is not even 6 months old yet. Our bodies go through so much with childbearing. It takes us nine months to get big and pregnant so we can't expect it to take much less time than that to get back to normal (even though we will never fully get back to "normal" even if we do loose all the weight). You are working hard and I'm sure it will pay off when your body is ready. Good luck.

Hi M.. Your story sounds much like mine. For my first one, I gained about 38 pounds and lost it all plus 5 pounds by the time she was 5 months. 16 months after my first one was born, I had my son. I gained only 30 with him, but quickly became depressed when I found out I wasn't losing the weight. For the first 3 months, I actually lost 0 pounds aside from the initial 10 after giving birth.
I wish I could tell you what I did to finally get it all off. My son is now 13 months and I'm now 5 pounds below my pre pregnancy weight.
I know my diet has now changed. With the first one, I dieted and exercised. But the same dieting and exercise didn't work the same with the second one. I think what really helped was probably my eating habits as I have no real time to exercise except for our evening walks. I eat a very low cal breakfast (Special K) with soy milk (not for any other reason than my kids can't have real milk and I refuse to buy 2 different kinds of milk). Soy milk has less calories too! Then I make myself wait till lunch which is a lean cuisine. Then I have a healthy-ish snack and a regular dinner. My caloric intake is actually quite low and any nutritionist would slap me if they knew what I ate. But I've kept the weight off, I'm getting all my "types" of foods and I feel great.
People told me that I'm older now. I reminded them that I'm only 16 months older than when I had my first kid! But I'm 29 also and it is true that it is very hard to keep off weight the older we get.
It sounds like you are motivated, so that's not the issue. I didn't get all my weight off till Trevor was 8 or 9 months old. And when it came off, it came off in a bunch! One day I was something and the next week, I was 5 pounds less.
It is very depressing, I agree. But hang in there, keep working with the personal trainer (I wasn't so lucky to have one of those) and don't worry. It'll come off if you want it to. Everyone always reminded me that it took 9 months to put on the weight, so give it at least that long to take it off.
Keep us posted as I'd like to know how things turn out for you!

You might want to do a good intestinal cleanse and start on some herbs that support the hormonal system - it's amazing what the body can do for itself when it has the appropriate tools - if you want more info on these things feel free to contact me.

Hey M.! Congrats on your new little one! My daughter was born on the 12th! I seem to be having a similar problem as you. I have actually put on about 8 pounds since I've had her; i.e., I am heavier than I was when I got home from the hospital. Grr! I thought that you were supposed to lose the extra pounds, not gain. And it is tough here in this heat to not be able to feel comfortable in tanks, bathsuits, etc…
Are you breastfeeding? I have heard that breastfeeding mom's have a little trouble losing the extra pounds. I know for me, my appetite was crazier than when I was pregnant. I have also read that losing the baby weight takes at least as long as it did to create her- at least 9/10 months or so. Try not to be too down on yourself. It's disappointing that Hollywood does such an injustice by promoting these stars super thin right after they pop their kids out. Remember that your kids don't know that you are 20 pounds heavier than you want to be and it sounds like your hubby is being supportive too. Try and relax a little and be positive. It’ll eventually come off, especially with your determination.

OMG!!! So happy to see your post and read the responses. My son is 4 months today and I am not dropping the weight like I did with my daughter (almost 29 months), and I am busting my a#$ this time around. I gained exactly 34 pounds with both and carried them the exact same way. The only difference was that I didn’t start gaining any of the weight with my son until after week 16. I didn’t even start showing until week 20 with each pregnancy, I just started to look like I was gaining junk in the trunk. I was so excited after my son was born and all of the nurses kept questioning whether or not I had just delivered. I thought that it was going to be even easier for me to drop the weight this time. I guess my expectations were a little unreasonable. Anyway, at 5’2 and 112 pre-pregnancy; I have 15 lbs. to go. Unfortunately, I was extremely tired and sick almost my entire pregnancy which made it difficult to keep up my normal fitness regimen. I lost almost all muscle tone in such a short amount of time so I know that it will take at least a year or so to get it all back. I started hiking Shaw Butte 4 weeks after delivery approx. 3 times a week and I rejoined the gym when I returned to work. I do 3 days of weights and 4 to 5 days of cardio. Two weeks after joining the gym I dropped 5 lbs. and was hoping to keep up the same pace…no such luck though. Just like you, I guess I just have to be patient, find a happy balance and keep up the hard work. I’m being really strict with the diet; lean meats, lots of fresh fruits and water, low carbs, no dairy products with the exception of my coffee creamer. The coffee creamer is the one thing that may be sabotaging my results but unfortunately, I can’t and don’t really want to give it up. Good luck and if you want, please keep in touch since we are neck and neck, with the exception of me being 35 :o).

I know it is frustrating to not look the way you think you should or the way you once did. Keep in mind you are doing the right things by exercising regularly and eating healthy this is what is most important. It took you 10months to gain the weight don't expect to loose it all in 6! Our bodies do change as we have children and get older. Although this is difficult for me as well--I try to find beauty where I can and focus on that--trying to focus on what is important internally and not externally as these things change and fade away. I know sometimes it seems our husbands don't understand but don't dismiss his encouragement he loves you and wants you to be happy--women, myself included, are often very hard on themselves and it is difficult to believe what others are saying to us, especially those closest to us. Keep exercising and eating healthy--try not to let this be your main focus. Enjoy your kids and love yourself as best you can. Best wishes to you.

M.,

I - and probably alot of other moms here really do know what you are going through. It is discouraging when the weight just doesn't fall off when it seems you are doing everything right and you are used to being slimmer. It can just downright suck! :) But...there is always a but....the more children we have, the weight gets a little more difficult to take off. It's the nature of our bodies that probably has more to do with thousands of years of perfect evolution than anything else. You are doing everything you can to stay physically healthy - that's awesome! Look at what your body is doing now, it's an amazing thing. Not only did you give birth twice, but you are able to run after your 2 year old, take care of a newborn, workout, and everything else you can physically do because you have been blessed with a healthy body. I know it is hard. Our culture doesn't make it easier for women to accept their bodies for what they are either.
I want to tell you not to worry about it. You are young, the weight will come off soon. Be patient.You can do it. Lots of cheerleading words - yes? If that is all you need, then go with that and disregard the rest of my post:)

Really, the only way you are going to feel better about yourself is to change your perspective. I am not saying that you have to just live with being 20 pounds over your ideal wieght for the rest of your life. You can accept what it is in the moment, and still have a goal. Ask yourself these questions. (write them out...journaling is an excellent way to work through our thoughts and feelings.)
*How would I feel if I just didnt' worry about my wieght? at the wieght I am RIGHT NOW.
*What are the thousand of other things that are truly beautiful about me -inside and out?
*What is my essence? and *Who is my essence?
*What is really true about me?
*Why do I feel that I have to look a certain way -right now?
*In what ways can I accept my body for what it is right now? Think HARD about this one. YOur first reaction will be to say. "I can't and don't want to accept my body right now." Right?
*How can I focus on what my body is doing right now. What it can do?

You see, most of everything we think and beleive comes from old agreements and old belief systems passed on to us by parents, society, family, friends, strangers, our own judges in our own minds.....but most of it really isn't true. The only thing that is really true, is your Divine Core. What is your truth M.? It has absolutely nothing to do with what others think, what is out there in our culture, what you think about yourself, what roles you have, your experiences, your wieght. Though all of that is important, it's all surface stuff. Go deeper, go within.
I know all of this sounds deep and maybe a bunch of bunk to you. You just want to lose 20 pounds and fast right? But I think it goes deeper than that. And my heartfelt wish for all women - especially moms- is to really know who they are.
You deserve it, your children deserve it, and everyone else in your life and who who touch deserve it.

Much good energy for a truth filled life and may you walk the path of your own heart.

A.

First of all congrats on your baby girl. I know that as we get older, it is harder to lose weight. I am still struggling to lose the last 10 pounds from after my second child was born and he is 29 months old now. Just keep exercising and eating right. The slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off. That is what my doctor told me and it is working so far. I had a lot more to lose though. I gained 60 pounds with my second child. No matter what I did to try and slow it down, the weight just kept coming on. I was pretty depressed about it, but I decided that I will just have to work at getting it back off afterwards and It is taking a long time, but I am almost there now. Keep going and you will get it off, don't give up.

D.

Hi M.,

I'm sure we can ALL sympathize with you! Absolutely! It sounds like you are doing everything right! You have a personal trainer who will keep changing up your exercise and your diet! that's very important as our bodies become accustomed very quickly and we have to change it up. Of course, make sure you are drinking your water -- very important -- can't lose weight with out it! AND make sure you are eating every 3 hours! Some people play the total calorie per day game and forget how important it is to make sure you feed your body every 3 hours beginning within one hour of getting up in the morning. If you can or if you need to (you may be eating clean on your trainers diet now) clean up your diet even more, lean meats, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, no bread and no dairy -- don't do any of the so called diet or healthy junk foods on the market!
AND focus on the big picture -- not just the immediate picture -- this is the hardest. The big picture is you are developing healthy eating habits and exercise habits for your LIFE! AND you are setting an awesome example for your children to set them up for a healthy life! So be excited, be motivated, you will achieve your goals! AND, just like every pregnancy is different, don't compare this weight loss to the last one! We can all remember an earlier, younger time in our lives when it just all seemed easier!
Hang in there! The rewards will come!
Get Fit and Fab with S.
866-508-2910
www.getfitandfab.com

I could have written that myself! All of that sounds exactly like me. I, too, am very frustrated with my weight right now. I have worked with a trainer for the past six months and have only lost 15 lbs. The only difference is that my daughter is now three, so I don't have the excuse that it is baby weight. And to top it off, now that I am not toting around a baby, I get, "So, when are you due?" Wonderful, right?

I have fifty more pounds to lose, as I was a tad overweight before I got pregnant. I would love to put together a group of women that walk or jog once or twice a week. I am looking to probably do it in the early mornings or in the afternoons. Let me know if you are interested.

On another note, keep up the good work! Continue to drink a lot of water, as that is when I see myself lose the most weight. My trainer advised me to do more cardio because at this point I am just maintaining my weight and need to jump start my metabolism. Keep it up and let me know if you would like to get together to walk or run. What gym do you go to? Maybe we can support each other and be accountable to one another??? I would love the extra push:)

M.,

I do understand. I have a 14 year old son starting high school this year, also a 19 month old son. I was down to a size 4 after my second son. Now I'm between a 6 & 7. I know that may seem small but not at the weight/size I would like. Remind you I'll be 36 next month. I just started back working out with the Denise Austin Boot Camp DVD, it;s awesome. Just a suggestion. We can work out together if you live local.

Hi M.-
Are you drinking more caffeine? Getting less sleep? Both of those things can help add weight. What about pop and other cabonated/ packaged drinks? Here are my rules- water 8 glasses daily. One cup tea or coffee. Excellent diet. No diet products- they contain chemicals that change your body chemistry, causing more problems than they're worth. If you eat sugar, eat real sugar; same for butter, and all those other supposed no-nos. You must be careful, of course, but your body and those things understand each other. It took me a long, long time to get my body back after childbirth; I was almost thirty-three when I had my son. I had one of those kangaroo pouches (!) and had to go up a clothes size for about a year. Try not to obsess about it so much- that which we pay attention to tends to increase :-) Enjoy your children and your life. See yourself as beautiful- maybe not the same, but beautiful. There are other things to do than diet and excercise (entertain yourself and your husband, get a new hobby or five). Motherhood changes our bodies- there is no way around it- they tend to never be the same. I did finally get down to my pre-baby weight. Ended up being uncomfortable there- had to worry too much about my weight. I was nursing, so it was an interesting lesson- turned out that my 'set point' is somewhere around the weight I was able to nurse at; the milk dried up if the weight got any lower. That was twenty pounds over what I considered 'normal' at the time.

Also, you may wish to check out glandular thyroid and adrenal supplements at the health food store. I am assuming that you are still taking pre-natal vitamins and lots of milk, calcium-magnesium and other products to build your bones and kick up your metabolism I wouldn't take more than one of each daily in the mornings without the calcium for an hour or two. Take extra B-vitamins. Don't take aspirin, etc. if possible; I use valerian root. Alcohol can sometimes be a problem, as can cigarettes; no cigarettes, and one drink or fewer per day, preferably at bedtime. Beer tastes wonderful to me- the darker the better, but oh, my, the chub comes on fast.

Good luck- hope this helps- S.

Hey girl, you just had a baby! Congrats!
and you have one of each! you are so blessed!
re your weight....are you nursing?
I think that it doesn't matter how much you weigh, it matters how your clothes fit.
Please be patient with yourself and make sure that you are getting enough sleep and drinking enough water(take your body weight and divide it in 1/2. That is how many oz of water you need to drink.)

Hang in there....this time flies when your children are so young and there is no need to worry about yourself!

T.
www.tesabartell.myarbonne.com
If you are at all interested in the weightloss program that Arbonne has, go to www.gofigure8.com I would be happy to help you. It is an awesome program.

Hi M.,

It sounds like you are taking all the right steps. It may just take a little more time. Also, go over your goals again with your personal trainer. To really lose the weight, you have to gain muscle, so make sure you are going through a good mix of cardio exercise and weight lifting.
Your weight lifting should cover all your muscle groups over a course of several routines. Large muscles, such as your quads, tricepts, chest and back should get more attention, because they are larger muscles, they will burn more fat. I wouldn't go overboard on lifting more weight, but you should do less weight with higher reps. Also during your weight routines, you should go through the routine quickly, with little rest. This will give your aerobic exercise as well.
Your cardio exercise should be at least 30 minutes a session. Really try to push yourself harder.
If you belong to a gym, try to take advantage of yoga and spinning classes too.
I know its tough. I'm a bit of a success, I lost my baby weight plus an additional 20lbs. after my 2nd baby. I'm actually back to my college weight. I'm sure you can do it. If you don't feel like your personal trainer is giving you the results you want, you can find someone else who will.

Unfortunately loosing weight is not always the easiest to do. I have been working on loosing weight also since having my child. I have a food journal that I write in and I put the amount I am eating the calories, fat, fiber, salt, carbs. I also make sure I am drinking at least 8 glasses of water but usually I drink more than that. To loose 1 pound a person need to have burned an extra 3500 cal a week and to loose more mean more calories. I am trying to loose 2 pounds a week at least so I try to burn 2400 calories a day and I do not eat more than 1400 calories a day. I was surprised how much work it took to burn 2400 hundred calories a day. I also use a body bug so it tells me how many calories I am burning and how many steps I am taking in a day. So since I have been keeping a journal and counting calories out I have had much better luck. I also do go to the gym about 5 days a week for an hour or so. Good luck, if you keep working at it will come off. And my husband is supportive, but he does not watch what he eats or extercises so it is a little hard for me, but i just keep plugging away, because i like being health and trim.

Hey M.-
First of all- its still SO early- the best rule of thumb is 9 months on... at least nine months off. I know for me, my daughter is almost 9 months & I still have about 10-15lbs to go! Also- with your clothes not fitting the same, remember the structure of you body actually changes when you have a baby & maybe you hips (or whatever) are just going to stay a little bit wider- it sucks but that may be it- also muscles retain water when they first start 'growing' which may make you feel a little thicker. I do know Stroller Strides classes are starting in Flagstaff in AUG which are an awesome & fun workout, tailored just for moms & a great support network. Maybe you should check them out? I did classes in Phoenix & LOVED them.
I'm sorry you feel so down- I go through those times too I think the best thing to do is go buy yourself something nice, that you look good in NOW and just really work on forcing yourself to be nice to you & your body & keep up the good work..

HI M.-
I feel for you because of my own struggle.
Just a few things to keep in mind:
1. Take your time and don't be tempted to obsess over the numbers.
2. Concentrate on being healthy and eating right and getting regular exercise.
3. Accept that this is where you are right now... that doesn't mean you don't want to work at it, but by accepting this "stage", you are more likely to keep a positive spirit and know that "this too will pass" and down the road, with your motivation, you will be back to where you want to be.

So much of our society is wrapped up in looking good, being beautiful, and there's so much pressure to look perfect and have a teenage body after having kids. Don't be tempted to go there... just stay healthy and happy for your kiddos. Don't lose weight for anyone else, only for your own pleasure/accomplishments. Hang in there!

Don't give up! Keep eating right, exercising and remember your body is just stretched from the 1st baby as well. Be conscios of your snacking, drink lots of water and keep wearing pretty clothes. Try not to start wearing the "sweats and tee shirts." Remember, cute and trendy young mom clothes are designed for you, so keep active and see the beatiful mom that you are! Good luck!

I know it's frustrating. I worked out and breastfed and eat healthy after my daughters were born, and it seemed like I didn't lose (or even gained) until they were a year old. When I stopped nursing I dropped 10 lbs in a week. Right around their first birthdays I lost another 5 lbs, and when they turned two I lost another 5 lbs. It was like my body just wasn't ready to shed that protective layer. And I don't think I was eating or exercising any differently than right after the pregnancies. If you continue to eat healthy, and stay on a reasonable exercise plan you will be fine! I'm jealous! Only 15 lbs to go after having your baby so soon... that's impressive!

I have 5 kids. 1 week after my first I was back down to pre-pregnancy weight and after #5 came around I was about 25 pounds more than I was before my kids. I had tried everything you can imagine to lose the weight over the years and nothing seemed to work. About a year ago I decided to stop worrying about the weight and just concentrate on getting in better shape. Amazingly the weight disappeared! I think sometimes our bodies just need time to recover and find its balance. Your little one is only 6 months old and you're almost there. Just give yourself some credit and some time. The 2nd one takes a little more to recover from. You are doing great!! Keep it up M.. Good luck.

Hi M.!
Like the other ladies said, it really hasn't been that long since you had your child. Maybe with the first one you lost weight abnormally fast and so now you think it's taking too long but really it seems to be about right. I also struggled with those last 15 lbs or so and it was after my girls (twins) were 6 mo that I started losing the last weight. I'm still 5 lbs away from my prebaby weight (they are now 14 mo) but it's ok, I may never get down to that weight.
What I've found that's very encouraging is cafemom.com. They have tons of different groups but the one that has been the most supportive is called "Work It Out Sexy Mama" IT's really just a bunch of moms wanting to better themselves. You get advice, encouragement, tips on eating and working out, it's really great. Good luck to you and hope you feel better about yourself soon!
E.