Need Protection for Me and My Daughter - Courts Fail Us and Now Sheriffs as Well

O.:

You need to obtain a lawyer IMMEDIATELY. As it sounds like the lawyer you have isn't doing much for you.

Go to the DA's office and file a suit against the judge for misconduct or degradation of duty - I know - extreme - but it will get their attention. YOU NEED PROTECTION and a restraining order MUST be obtained not only against him but his girlfriend. STAY IN THE COURTS FACE!!! Do NOT become a number.

If you can move without him knowing about it - MOVE IMMEDIATELY. Do not give a forwarding address, phone number, etc. Move to a gated community that actually uses the gate. I know there are many who leave the gates open - but ensure it is closed and monitored - video/live person.

If you can trade your car in and get a new one - one that he doesn't know about - then do it - change as much as you can in your life. I know you have a child - but this is for her protection as well.

DO NOT unlock your door to ANYONE. And I mean ANYONE. Have an alarm system installed in your home - one that is audited 24 hrs a day.

Keep a log of each and every detail as to the incidents - even in court. If you have the eye witnesses information - KEEP IT - do NOT lose it. You should be able to get it from the police report.

DO NOT do the same thing every day - change your routine, driving habits, etc. shopping, etc.

If you can change jobs - do. Change her daycare so that he cannot get to her. Ensure your daycare provider knows that NO ONE else is allowed to pick her up!

Change the custody order as well - ensure that he gives up parental rights - this will take him out of her and your life forever. If he is smacking you around - and his girlfriend is smacking you around then what's to stop her from beating your child?

go to a self-defense class so you can learn to defend yourself. DO NOT hesitate to do this. It doesn't matter how tall or how much you weigh - you can learn to use your body to defend yourself. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE A VICTIM!!! Keep yourself aware of your surroundings. Don't jump at the slightest noise - be PROACTIVE. If he's parked out front of your home - call the police for stalking. If she comes to your home - call the police - stay on their radar - don't call for trash cans making noise - call for real threats - either one of them sitting in front of your place of work, day care or home - this is considered stalking.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Go to the local police station.
Don't overload them with all of this but document the girlfriend approaching you, etc.
I don't know why the restraining orders wouldn't be granted especially with a child involved, but what you need to do is ask for another one that states you need a change in the exchange place for your child and request that it ONLY take place at the local police station based on the events dated........

Your child should not be subjected to any of this whether you are telling the truth or your ex is telling the truth. It's gotten out of hand. Tell the court you need witnesses as to how the exchanges go and it would be best to have law enforcement nearby....even if the exchanges are to take place in the police department parking lot. Beyond not having any orders of protection, it's harmful for your child not to have access to a neutral and safe location with neutral and safe witnesses for the exchanges.
I had no problem getting our exchange location changed to the police department and guess who fought it? My ex. The maniac. That spoke volumes. If he wasn't doing anything, then what did he care?

You need to contact your local women's shelter because they will have resources for you.
The next thing you need to do is follow up with the sheriff's department and make sure there was an incident report. Just because no one was arrested doesn't mean it wasn't documented.
Follow up on that. Ask again for a restraining order and revision in circumstance.

Best wishes.

it takes 3 days for the bruises to show up get the restraining order after the bruises appear. I know this from experience. GET INTO MARTIAL ARTS NOW. I had to move to a diffrent county to get a restraining order. now I would highly advise doing the custody exchange at the police dept only. when you get your restraining order meeting him at a gas station to exchange visitaiton is a violation of the restraining order and will get it revoked. have a friend exchange custody if neccesary and if your daughter acts scared DONT MAKE HER GO EVEN IF ITS A VIOLATION OF COURT ORDERS.

Contact your local domestic violence hotline and tell them about this situation. They should be able to help walk you through the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against ex and his girlfriend and give you some advise on how to deal with this type of situation.

I agree with the PP's advice about calling your local domestic violence counselors about how to go from here. Did you press charges against the girlfriend or your boyfriend? At the very least he did some damage to your car, right? Could you find the witness again? If you go to the ER for treatment for the injuries, they will take photos and document them and you should probably do that yourself as well. Best of luck to you.

Call WEAVE. Here is a link to their website:

http://www.weaveinc.org/

and here is their phone number:

SUPPORT LINE ###-###-####

They will help you find the help you need to get the courts to take this seriously. If you ever feel like you don't have what it takes to get him completely out of your life, then do it for your daughter. Get him out of her life too. I'm all about fathers (ideally husbands) being involved in their kids lives, but NOT when they are abusive.

It sounds like you need to seek out a lawyer as well. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Take yourself right down to the police office and tell them you want to press charges against her and him. Something then needs to be done. If they trying saying you are making things up then tell them that there should be a police report from the taped gf one and in it should be the name of the person that helped. Would be nice if they would be willing to come to court. With it on tape you know he did not wipe it clean he wants it to watch. You should be able to get a lawyer and get an order to where the GF can not be anywhere around your child. Get an order, and take pics of every spot on your body, You go down there, call the cops and push hard enough they have to hear you. If your child is in daycare tell the teachers of what is going on, get them to write down anything the child says. If you are worried about your child take her to the doctor and see about getting her in to see a counselor. There are so many ways to go about this. In my papers when my husband left me we had a thing that I had the children and he had visitation rights. It stated that if I was worried for the kids safety at anytime I could stop them from going with him. Would be nice if you had this so you could use that power too. I will be praying for you.