Need Other Mom's Imput

WHY would he want to bleach her hair!!! I think its insane. you dont bleach a child hair.. or really ne ones for that matter. its so harsh!!

Why on earth is he having her hair bleached? LOL Sorry, I`m just nosey and don`t have any advice for you on this.

Is she telling him she wants to be blonde? or??????

Yes sit down and talk to him..what in the world is he thinking??!! She's 6 why does she need her hair bleached? My daughter is 13 and wants her hair dyed and I think thats too young! You have every right to say STOP! and if it continues stop having her visit.

First thought...creepy. Salons do not have to refuse a child. Sounds like he is altering her appearance for himself, you should have a long talk with her, you know, the one about people touching her in her private areas....

I just worry - why is he doing it? Is she asking to have it colored or is he initiating the change in her looks? If he is initiating it I would be more concerned about what else he is up to with her......it's very weird!!

No way. What kind of a message is he giving her about her beauty at that young age?

WHAT?! Why in the world would a 6 year old need a hair dye job? I would put my foot down about that. That's completely unnecessary and will only teach her that she's not good enough on her own since Daddy seems to be trying to "fix" her. She shouldn't get her hair dyed until she's old enough to make the decision herself. If she asked for highlights or something, tell him to use lemon juice or SUN-IN or something. Sheesh.

Was it his idea or her idea? That is a bit strange to me, especially for a man to take his 6 year old daughter to a salon to get her hair dyed.

That is way too young to be bleaching hair. Let me tell you what my ex husband told our daughter before she colored her hair the second time his past summer. My daughter is 14 years old and she had her hair colored from medium brown to blond this past summer. My ex and I agreed to allow her to do it the first time. When it came time for school, my daughter again wanted her hair colored both blond and brown (skunk hair, I call it). She begged and pleaded with my ex and I to allow her to do it, but we told her no way. She went as far as threatening to do it without our permission. So, my ex, cleverly told her: "if you come home with two different hair colors, I will take you to the barber shop and have your head shaved." I stuck by him on that one and told her he would take her and I would pay the barber. She changed her mind quickly and instead went back to her natural color which looks great on her. If I were you, I'd call the lawyer first and get advice on this. But, you could always tell your daughter what my ex told our daughter which worked.

Good luck,

M.

HI T.,

My son is 8 and we have been highlighting his hair since he was 6. he loves it.......

HI T.,
As a hairdresser, I would try to talk any client out of coloring a child so young. As a mother of an almost 7 year old daughter, I would absolutely not do it. But maybe you could come to an agreement of a FEW highlights. And I do mean a few. Like 2 or 3 very tiny ones in the front of her hair. This would not take very long and should be very inexpensive. Again for my daughter, I would not. He needs to realize that this is something that could be very costly and damaging to your daughters hair. Depending on her natural color, it will most likely look terrible after a week when new growth starts comming through. Is it in his plan to keep this up with retouches? Or does he plan to just do it once and let it grow out? As a parent I would try to find out where he plans on taking her and talk to the owner or hairstylist at the salon. If he plans on doing it himself, he is in for a whole new set of problems which could be very costly in the end. You may also mention to him that htis could cause a lot of damage to her hair including breakage. I hope I helped. Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

I think it is bad for anyone at any age especially children. If you have joint custody he has to ask your permission before he can do any type of change, hair cut, ears pierced etc. I would talk to your Lawyer and see if you can keep him from doing that. Besides why would anyone so young need to color their hair? I agree with the other Mom's next she will be wanting to Date at age 7. I say they should be kids while they are kids and leave the grown up stuff for when they are grown up! Good Luck.

He's crazy!!! What kind of nonsense is that? I would call the salon myself, identify yourself as her mother, or go there and tell them in person, that you don't want them to color your daughter's hair until she is a teenager, and until you agree!!! Regardless of what your custody situation is, I'm sure they'll stop doing it. Good luck--

H.

It sounds crazy to me. Can he do this without your permission?

I'm not sure the salon has any obligations... but I think that it is horrible! I worry about the type of shampoo I use on my kids... bleaching is so harsh on hair (and is much much different from highlighting).

I would try to talk to him about it...

Hi T., If this is something you do not approve of, then let the courts know. They can order your ex to stop. Good luck.

I think six is WAY too young for a child to have any kind of permanent treatment done to their hair. I don't think I was allowed to do any kind of dye job until I was about 14. I know that was almost 20 years ago but I still think she is too young, even if she asked for it to be done. She is the child, your ex- husband should be the responsible adult. Is he maybe doing it to win "brownie points" with her, did she ask to have her hair bleached and he doesn't want to be the one to say no? You should definately say something to him, you are obviously not ok with this and he needs to know. You have to be on the same page, especially if you are divorced. Tell him it is not ok for her to have this done in the future. I don't think the salon has any obligation to refuse, but your ex has the obligation to be a responsible parent.
Good luck.

Talk to your lawyer, or friend of the court. If you feel this is hazardous to your child's health and needs to be stopped, the only thing that will get through to him is the legal system

Why is he in such a hurry for her to grow up? He is only setting her up to want to date earlier and all of the heartache that goes along with that.
I think that I would put my foot down and say NO to this!

SHE'S 6 AND HE'S BLEACHING HER HAIR?!?!?! What in the world is wrong with him????? I think you definitely should step in and say something. They don't put warnings on the box to waste ink....

I don't think the salon has any obligation. They are just serving a customer. Your ex DOES have an obligation to your daughter. Those chemicals can be toxic even to adults. He needs to be more responsible to your little sweetie!

Hi T.,

In my opinion you really need to sit him down and talk to him, finding out why it's happening. Besides the physical ramifications of broken hair, possibly dry scalp, possible toxins, etc. it is also affecting her emtotionally. He's letting her think that she is not good enough the way she is. If allowed to go down this path now my fear would be her self esteem spiraling down into a deep depression, possibly anorexia or belimia (spelling?) and a general feeling of never being good enough. I would do what ever I could to stop it now before it does become a problem. If he won't listen to you then call your Friend of the Court liasion, explain the situation and tell him/her that you feel he is endangering your childs well being with all the reasons you can think of supporting your view. Be strong, your daughter will thank you later and be better off in the long run if you do.

Good luck - S.

I know most parents do not agree with that (and if my ex did it w/o my permission I'd be highly upset!) however, I had a salon highlight my oldest daughter's hair for the first time at age 8. And my 2nd daughter got her hair highlighted by a salon just this year before school started. She is 6 1/2 and in 1st grade. I don't think it's harmful, but then again, I don't get the whole head bleached either. If he's taking her to a salon how do you know what the box reads? There are many different products out there, including the wash out kind and more safer kinds. I'm not saying he is right or wrong, this is a decision you two should discuss, but I would keep an open mind. How does your daughter feel about it?

Two thoughts
1. I think 6 is way too young to be coloring hair. That is something for the teen years (my daughter is 12 and she can't do it for another year).
2. No, their not obligated to refuse. If a parent brings the child in... well, it's the parent's decision.

Have you talked to him about your concerns, find out why he's doing it, maybe explain why you have a problem?