Need Opinion

Honestly it sounds like she needs some professional help and also just needs to put her foot down. She is throwing tantrums for the attention, but the vomiting it quite a reaction...have her speak with her pediatrition and see if there are any referals for behaivior speciailts. It sounds like she needs a speach therapits too. She may be having trouble with hearing, or just need coaching. By two, they should be able to speak in full sentences and have understanding in how to form them, not just simple one worded convos. It could be emotional, but if there is a lot of love and attention given to her, she sould feel adjusted. She should not be able to harbor that much resentment towards her sibling.

Hi, my name is C.. I have two boys, Blaine is almost 7 and is diagnosed with ADHD. Devin is 4 1/2 and was diagnosed with Moderate Autism at age 2 1/2. Your description caught my eye because all of the traits you listed and warning signs for Autism. The last think I want to do is scare anyone but this should be looked at by a doctor or Child Psychiatrist as quickly as possible. I read the comments already made and Autism has been mentioned several times. I think it might be that this little girl started showing signs at the same time as the pregnancy but I fear that the timing is just coincidence and an easy way to convince ones self that nothing is wrong. Waiting until it can't be mistaken any longer is the worst thing to do. Please encourage her to at least see a doctor but better yet, the Early Steps program or Child Find or a Child Psychiatrist. My pediatrician told me right up until the time Devin was diagnosed to "wait and see". He continued to say that Devin was just "slow" and told me to stop reading books about Autism because I was "self-diagnosing" him. I'm so glad I didn't take his advise! Devin is doing great today because we put him in speech therapy at 1 1/2 years old! He has been in therapy and school since then and I know for a fact that all of those things are what has brought him through all of this! Without it, he would still be crying and running in circles and not talking at all and stuck in "his own little world" 90% of the time.... He does none of those things any more!

If you would like to talk to me further with questions or comments, please do! ____@____.com

Good Luck to you and your sister!

it sounds like there are other issues there. my daughters are only 19 months apart, and that never happened. I think mom is too tired to deal with it, and give attention to the older one. It will take her time and patience. Whenever you have the chance, give the little girl some love. One of my kids I watch was doing the same thing, come to find out, her mom moved out of the house, and when she was around, treated her poorly....no coincidence there.
Good luck!

I have a two and a half year old and a seven month old. My oldest was two when my baby was born and she only slipped back with potty training. My two and a half year old is speaking sentences, she knows her colors, counts to 10, some shapes, ect.. Maybe your nieces mom could give her more responsibilities with the baby. Let her get things like a diaper or bib when it is needed. Let her help more with bathing, changing, feeding the baby. Perhaps she needs more respnsibilities to feel she is a part of the family still. I let my daughter pick her clothes out for the day (from a choice of two outfits that I have chosen)Things like that might help. Do the kids go to daycare? Does the older one have time to be her age with other kids her age?
By the way, your girls are the same age as mine. Would you like to meet at a park one day for the kids to play?

I would take advantage of the Early Intervention services that are available free before the age of 3...

you can look up your/her local office:
http://www.cms-kids.com/ContactUs/EIPdir.pdf

and here's the main page:
http://www.cms-kids.com/EarlyStepsHome.htm

I would definitely speak with the pediatrician - who should have seen these signs and said something to the mom. He/she should know where to refer you to in order to get tested and services. Please help her (if you can) to get this taken care of as early as possible, for your neice's sake - as early diagnosis and treatment has been proven to work so much better than waiting until the child is older.

I would have her talk to her pediatrition about this. I would also even call Child Find to have her tested. Both my kids have different forms of Autism. My son who is older slipped away from us starting at about 18 to 20 months. He has been diagnosed High Functioning PDD. The tantrums, the handful of words, and the not sleeping at night are some of the Autistic traits. I say have her call child find to get her daughter tested because if it is Autism the sooner they get in school the better off they are. If she lives in Palm Beach County I know of a wonderful pre-school. If she has any questions please feel free to give her my e-mail

____@____.com

So a lot of the advice seems to err on the side of extreme, but the fact that she was fine until her mom got pg makes me think this is an environmental and not medical problem.
The first thing I would do is talk to my pediatrician. Not only will they be able to rule out and see any other signs of developmental issues, most will also give advice on how to respond to her tantrums.
She sounds like she's just a very strong willed child (talk to my mom about these :) )and she knows if she throws these tantrums will eventually get what she wants. And though she is getting so upset she is vomiting (I did this too) and that can be scary as a parent, she is not in danger--and it is still working for her. For example, mommy is still sleeping with her. So she will continue this behavior until it stops working for her.
Honestly, I would try to redirect the tantrums and work on some serious positive reinforcement when she uses other means to communicate. Immediate positive reinforcement like praise and hugs when she tries to express herself without screams and if she can understand maybe even some sort of weekly sticker chart--at 2 1/2 she may or may not understand this concept...
The same goes true with the sleeping without her mom. And the fact of the matter mom can't sleep with her...cold turkey. AFter a few nights of her screaming, she will stop.
A good gift for her would be Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers by Tracy Hogg.

As far as the speech--I did not speak until I was three--and had no developmental problems--in fact, was put in the gifted program and did very well in school. Yes, many kids start speaking younger, but just because she is a late speaker does not mean she has a developmental problem-
so have her talk to her ped, get her that book and she can't give in to those tantrums or they will just continue!

i wish her luck, it will be hard with another child in the picture, but she can do it and will probably need some outside help and support!

good morning, my 3 year old is develpomentally delay and my 2 year old twins are as well. major temper tantrums normally come from not being able to talk and say what the want so they get fusterated. i am in cooca so here is the number to a place called early steps with the C.A.T.C.H.(community access to child health of brevard, inc) they can get you services that can help with the speech, behavoir and just about anything else you need. they work with your insurance and cooridnate so if they have to they can refer you to someone else if they can't. they have wonderful therapists and i cant say enough good stuff about them.

they are wonderful and now nicholas is talking with a vocabulary of 25 words that are pretty clear and he is even in the voluntary pre-k program at endeavour elem with the most wonderful teachers. i am so glad that i made the call.

her name is cheryl and just let her know that you were refereed to her by alexandria and katrina hudsons mom with the highest trust that she can help. they can even have home therapy if need be. her number is ###-###-#### x-210.

dont be afraid like i was to call. they will help and that in turn helps you. i am a stay at home mom of a 10 and 3 year old boy and twin girls that are 2, hubby, 2 cats and the puppy. i never wanted anyone to come out to my home because what if i was doing something wrong, i did not want to risk dcf but i am soooooo thankful that i made the call.

good luck and remember that you can handle it as long as you give yourself at least 10 mins of cooling time before you handle anything that has got you mad. oh, watching supernanny is a great thing as well. she has some awsone ideas and they do work, even with kids like ours. just give it time and dont give up. it is hard at first but it will get better.
B.

Has she talked to her pediatrician about this? My stepson has autism and he wasn't developing socially and had tantrums. I know that it can be many things but she should definately discuss this with her pediatrician.

There's a good chance that the tantrums are because he cannot communicate. Sometimes boys just take longer to speak, I know mine did. She may want to consider teaching him some signs so that he can communicate more and he may not feel so frustrated. Then if there isn't so much stress during the day he may be more likely to sleep on his own. I feel for them. My son went through a similar stage. Then when he turned 3 he was suddenly talking up a storm, and things calmed down significantly. I wish I had known about using sign language with little kids back then.

Hello,

I agree with the earlier post, it is imperative that she take advantage of the early childhood programs available for free in florida. Get a referral from a pediatrician for Child Find. They will set the child up with a case worker, give you free appointments with a child psycologist and pay for speech and occupational therapy. Children get very frustrated when they can't communicate. Its worth checking into.