Need Input from Couples

I sit in the front if its family in my age bracket.
I do offer the front seat if its an elder member of either sex.
I do this out of respect for my elders.
As I said ,I would not give up my seat to someone in my age bracket just because he was male.
B. k

I always offer the front seat to the tallest passenger, or if for any other reason I think they will be more comfortable up front (like my husband's 93 year old nana :) If I'm driving my husband does the same.

I typically let visitors ride in front. It's the polite thing to do. I see my husband more than enough.

I could care less if I sit by my husband, we usually just end up bitching at each other about how hes driving. I'll take the back seat, ignorance is bliss!

We play musical seats... so every pit stop we move (well those not in car seats at least!)

Edit to add: everyone drives on our trips too...

Whomever has the longer legs should be in the front.

I think it is a matter of respecting the age. I always give up my seat to my MIL/FIL or my Mother...why should the old people have to climb in the back?

~Sometimes the grandparents will want to sit in the back to be near the children, sometimes not. We drive a Chevy Suburban and there really isnt a bad seat in the place, so we are all good!

*I love my husband too and absolutely enjoy sitting by him during road trips, just b/c I like to be near him and chat and stuff but being respectful and using your manners trumps my *want* to be near him.

I know how you feel,I use to feel the same way. But when I thought it thru I relized that there is still guy talk and girl talk and this arrangement made it easier to have conversations. Now when a road trip comes around I shift into the role of daughter -sister- girlfriend and enjoy the ride talking to another woman.I am the hostess enertaining my guest not the woman delegated to the backseat.

Well maybe that is just the way your in-laws are. Or per how they grew up or whatever totem pole pecking order they believe in.

Me- I sit up front in the passenger seat.
It just is.
I sit where I want, if in front or back.
My Husband always assumes, I sit up front, with him.

It happens because men have longer legs than women.

I always wanna sit in the back so I can chat with the other women. My hubby almost always wants me to sit up front with him though but if I want to sit in back or a guy wants to sit up front he doesnt mind.

It all depends upon the situation....

When we are someplace I've been before - I drive...when it's someplace he's been - he drives...

I love sitting next to my mom so I don't mind be relegated to the back seat!!

I'm usually driving. We have an 8-seater minivan. My husband sits next to me because he's the biggest person of the family. He's pretty tall and he's not fat, but not thin.... We go by size: smaller people in the back. ALSO, the kids BEG grandma to sit next to them. And grandma and great grandma (that's who we usually travel with) are pretty small, too. If my brother comes sometimes he and my husband switch around- but he's shorter than husband, so he usually goes in the back.

I'm 5' and the rest of the family is 6' or more. Plus, my bum can still fit with two boosters in the back (thank goodness :)). It only makes sense that I sit in the back, although my in-laws still offer me the front. Are they silly or sweet??

My husband always has me sit up front with him.
I will offer for one of the elder ones sit in the front with him because it is courtesy for your elders but they refuse and I like it lol. But then again, there are too many of us to ride in one car usually!

I would sit in the back in order to make the male more comfortable with more leg space. Also so that I could chat with the woman. This doesn't bother me at all really. If I were driving I would have the woman of the couple sit up with me probably.

We sit according to size too. Usually the guys are taller so it's more convenient to have them sit in the front and be more comfortable than squished in the back seat. Plus, FIL has had knee surgery and just wouldn't be able to sit in the back anyway (even though he offers every single time- too sweet). MIL won't sit in the front if DH is driving so I always have to if it's only the 3 of us.

My car, I get front seat, period!

based on whoever needs the most legroom...luckily i am taller than all my in-laws and hubby, but my tall dad and brothers always get shotgun when they visit

I love to sit in the back and watch movies with the kiddos! Sometimes, I insist on driving and my parents sit in the back with the kids.

All depends on who we have with us and who can crawl around the car LOL
We have an 8 seater with 3 kids in car seats or boosters. We just had my inlaws in town the last couple weeks. I sat in the third row with one of the kids, my MIL sat in the middle row with one car seat and one booster and my FIL sat up front. You have to crawl back to get into the third row and I'm the one that's the best at doing it. My MIL offered to give me more leg room but having her crawl back there didn't seem right.
We've done all manner of things. We usually have the 3 kids in the middle row and don't typically use the third row unless there is more than the 5 of us. We've put friends back in the third row because they didn't mind and I needed to be in the front to give directions/read maps etc.
So, totally depends on who and where we're going :)

I sit in the back seat with MIL and our 4y/o in the middle where his car seat is. My hubby & his dad sit up front. It's this way whether they visit us and my hubby drives or we visit them and his dad drives. The men sit w/ the men.

I'm ok w/ it. Here's why: My hubby sees me all year. He only gets to see his 75 y/o dad once maybe twice a year. He needs to sit w/him so they can talk, bond, spend precious time together during the visit. They get to have a semi-private conversation w/ each other without me or the MIL interrupting.

I'm really ok w/ it. Nothing to do w/ pride or how I need to "take charge". Were all adults and I respect that he needs to spend those moments w/ his dad.

I don't take any offense to it or worry about it much.

NOW with my girlfriends...
There's 3 of us & when we get together I always end up in the back seat. Now THAT pisses me off!!! ;-P

Interesting question. With MIL and FIL the girls usually sit in the back, but just because the guys are tall. My dad is too big for all five of us to travel in one vehicle. With my sister and brother in law, it just depends. Sometimes my sister and I ride in back, sometimes the spouses sit together. I guess I don't really think about it much.

I used to let my mother in law sit in the front with my husband. Now my son always wants Nana to sit in the back with him.

I usually sit in the back. It is a time to catch up with visiting friends or family.
It also gives the guys time to chat. All males in my family are over 6'4" so
it is more comfortable for them to be in the front. Besides if I sit in the front
and sister or friend in back, it is hard to continually turn around to talk.

i sit in back because i am the smallest compared to my husbands family & i can sit comfortably in the middle of 2 booster seats......or because my DH acts as if he is a race car driver on steroids

Who ever "owns" the vehicle sits up front. Long legs sometimes over ride that little rule, but I have no issue because I'm a shorty.

We take turns driving- husband and I-
With regard to in-laws- regardless of who is driving-
our parent sits up front.

Our situation is rather "easy" though-
his dad lives in Norway, my mom is dead.
That leaves my dad and his mom.
We've seldom had to the two of them in the
car at the same time, but whichever parent
is with us rides up front unless they insist on
riding in back with the kids.

I would speak up were I in your shoes.
If it's causing some irritation then it's worth
voicing your needs. Just suggest taking turns
driving. That should take care of things.

Best wishes-

Hello Tgsdp,

I know you have so many responses already and it seems you have "understanding" but I don't know that you have an "answer". I know for me especially as a woman I so need "understanding" but I still want a solution too!

I am a Wife/Mom with 7 & 11yr. Old and hubby and I been married 24yrs. So I definitely have the experience to hopefully help you with the solution part.

Basically, it is "simple" and you are making it more complicated than it needs to be and I think it is because you probably are not an "Alpha" or "Take Charge Person" and let people take advantage of you. It seems like you do things that you don't necessarily want to do.

What makes since is to consider everyone "yes". But not at the expense that you Never get to do what you want. I always access everyones needs. When my little ones were babies and maybe there was and issue or they were cranky, and I would know how to handle them etc.. I would sit in the back with them. But certainly as they got older those situations were extremely few and far between. You just kinda access everyones "needs" which is different from "wants". You ask driver first (like hubby for me) did you want so and so in the front with you or are you OK with me. Because at times he may say "Oh, I needed to talk to Dad or so and so about something or he is helping me with directions etc.. When Grandma was alive it was just easier for her because of physical needs to sit in front so I always sat in back when she was riding with us. But I like to sit in front and I usually always do! If I don't see any physical limitations or if hubby has not expressed a need for someone else up front I sit up front with him. I know that I also get car sick and I have been in vehicles with many people where they "voice" that so people are aware and make adjustments. Your in-laws/friends are probably not even "aware" that you don't like sitting in the back because you have Never expressed that. At least that is the way it sounds. Just say, "if nobody minds I would like to sit up front w/my hubby unless there is a need that I am not aware of". I'm sure nobody would have a problem with that. Your not a "door mat" but a human being with feelings/needs and wants too! It's your vehicle too! I think that is not being selfish but considerate and yet letting your need be known too. I bet you will get more respect by letting your voice be heard. You can STILL take charge in a way where your considerate and respectful of others without making yourself a "doormat". Remember your voice counts too! Your not one of the children. I have been in situation where the wife automatically takes her "rightful" place and NEVER even says anything or considers any needs! Also, where people allow their kids to RULE the roost and dictate where everyone will sit- which I think is absurd and ridiculous!! I had a very wise woman say to me "whatever you ALLOW is allowed".

Hope this helps and gives you a "solution" and you now feel empowered as an ADULT!

A.

I guess it helps that everyone knows I get car sick. So unless it's a short trip, and after dark, I'm usually up front. Sorry. I know this doesn't really help.

We normally need two cars with my sis/brother/neice/me/hubs/son but when my in-laws come in to town, strangely enough my husband drives, my MIL is in the front seat, FIL me and son are in the backseat. Apparently my MIL gets 'carsick' in the back seat. So when we're together it's her ALWAYS in the front seat.

Strangely enough as well, when I drive with my mom and my son, my mom sits in the back seat so that she can play with my son while I drive. I feel like a chauffer sometimes.

I can't say I've been in a situation where the men sat in the front while the women sat in the back. If we ride in someone else's car, we always sit in the back seat. Maybe the wife is pushy enough that she goes and sits in her seat. Maybe she leaves her purse in her seat as her way to say 'this is my seat.' I don't know. If you don't like it, I say either make up some excuse (carsickness) or put your drink/purse/tampons (HA!) in the front seat as your way to claim it as yours.

This hasn't come up with my husband and me, but my SIL drives her parents to dinner quite often or on some road trips and she sits up front (she drives) and her mother sits up front with her and the guys sit in the back. i would tell my husband that i want to drive and make him sit in the back :)

you and your husband sit together all the time!! This is the time to interact and socialize with people you don't see often. What is wrong with that? I think you are being too petty about this.

Hubby usually is driving so Brother, BIL, Dad, FIL sits up front. I sit in the back with the wife and the kiddos are in the very back.

For us it depends who's the tallest, biggest, or had the hardest time getting in or out. Usually my Step Father will sit in the front seat if we are going somewhere because he has a harder time getting in and out. My mother on the other hand is the smallest little thing you have ever seen so she is always in the back with the kids because she just fits better :)

I ALWAYS drive. The last time my husband drove was when we went to the hospital to have our son over four years ago.

He rather read (NO IDEA how he does that in a moving car) or sight see. Because our son's car seat is in the middle of the backseat it's almost impossible to have any passengers unless they are kids.

I'd love to be able to sit in the back seat with my son. He asks me to sit with him all the time so we compromise by holding hands when I can.

We take seats depending on who is driving and who is friends with whoever is riding. if its a guy friend of my husbands, and hubby is riving the guys get front seat. I dont mind sitting in back, even alone so they can chat work, or golf or whatever. I talk to wives or others no matter what. We had a couple we bowled with and he would sit up front with my husband so I could chat with his wife who was more my friend. But, when we took their car, she drove and I sat up front to chat with her and the guys got the back seat. He died a few years back and we still take her with us, but shes taller than me and I let her sit up front so I dont have to turn my head to talk to her a lot. She likes to help navigate a bit and likes to give my husband a bad time and its funny. it just all depends on who it is.

I see I'm late to the game here, but for us it's always been the complete couple either sit in the front together or sit in the back together. Never has it been just the men in the front & women in the back or vicey versey.

I sit up front with my husband.

We just had my parents (dad & step-mom and mom & step-dad) here for my oldest sons high school graduation. When we went to the ceremony I sat up front with my husband, my dad and step-mom sat in the middle row, and the kids were in the back.

I have never sat in the backseat of my own car. My family doesn't expect it, just like I don't expect my parents to sit in the backseat when I'm in their cars. To me it's a respect thing, I respect that it's THEIR CAR and therefore they get priority seating. They respect it's MY CAR and therefore I/we get priority seating.

Me and my husband are so backwards as to gender roles: When my parents visit my mom is up front with me (as I drive everywhere) and my husband and father are in the back......well, in recent years that's a little different as we do not have a car to hold the 4 of us plus our 2 children so we take two cars and usually my mom rides w/me and one of the kids and then my dad/husband/other child in the other car.....

My MIL insists on sitting in the front. I hate being put in the back of my own car, so I drive.

Our vehicles only seat 5, so nope. Doesn't happen to me. LOL
We have 2 kiddos, so we take 2 vehicles. Sometimes the ladies are in one with the kids, and the men are in a 2nd vehicle. Then on the return the guys get the kiddos and the ladies are alone.
Or sometimes the kiddos ride with the grandparents or aunt/uncle and me and hubby get some time alone in the car.
Now, if we go as a foursome somewhere, the women are often/usually in the back. Why? Because the men generally have longer legs and need the legroom the front affords. Plus, we women like our gossip and the men like sports... ha haha

I have been on many trips with my bf and his family (even to a restraunt and we take one car instead of two) it depends on who is driving if he is driving i ride up front and his parents ride in the back with our 2 yr old if they are driving we ride in the back

In my life, it really varies.

Equal Rank (friends, family of my generation or younger): Couples together OR friends together. AKA If I'm driving my husband, my best friend, and his good friend... my friend is up front with me, his friend is in back with him.

Disproportionate Rank (aka our parents, grandparents, bosses, etc.) Highest rank up front with driver.

Leg Issues. I'm often tossed up front regardless of who is driving when we're in little cars. Because I'm over 6 feet tall. When (rarely) someone is taller than me, they get the legroom.

Hmm, depends. Totally depends on people's moods. We have had my husband and I sit up front and my parents in the back, or sometimes one of us sits in the back and the other drives. If my MIL is in town, I normally let her sit up front because she has bad knees and has trouble getting in even that way (our two vehicles big enough for 6 are two large SUV's, so you have to climb in.) But I prefer to ride up front...my car, my husband, etc.

My mother-in-law always wants to sit in the back with the kids. She loves the time she gets to spend with them...and when they fall asleep on her shoulder, she is in heaven. So when its just her, I get shot-gun.

When anyone else is around, I offer to sit in the back. It seems courteous to me, to offer them the more comfortable seat...after-all, they did come to visit me.