Need Ideas on Sleeping Through the Night

There are a couple of great books out there--you can even check them out at the library. One is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. The other is The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. Both have excellent suggestions for healthy sleep habits, but the main thing to remember is DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. One other poinbt, is since the twins were sleeping well, and are now at a major developmental point, I'm guessing they're experiencing what some call "wonder weeks." These are basically times when things (mostly sleep) regress because of some other milestone. There's actually a book on it, but I can't remember the actual title. Anyway, both my boys are super-prone to sleep regression at milestone points: learning to crawl, walk, verbal breakthroughs, etc. Even my 4 year-old gets it! Hang in there!

I was never able to let my children "cry it out" either. The one time I decided to try, my son threw up all over himself and the crib so it took even longer to clean him up and get him back to sleep.

We also used a family bed for both of our boys until they were about 9-12 months old. Despite the dire warnings of causing certain death to the baby because we could roll over and smother our child, it never happened. Most situations involving a parent accidently smothering a child had alcohol or drugs involved. Parents across the world co-sleep with their children. Parents in the United States co-slept with their children until just a few decades ago. If you want more information on family beds, this is an excellent article: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/family_bed.html

As for helping my kids get back to sleep, I used a crib attachment that plays music and has soothing lights. I would go into the room, and yes, (horror to many mothers out there), I would pick up my son and sooth him. I would then push the button on the music and then put him back in the crib while the music was playing. Both of my sons learned to use the crib toy to sooth themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night.

Whatever you do, do what feels right to you. It is likely that once you get one baby to stop screaming in the night, the other one will start because of teeth, growing pains, fear of the dark, or any other stressor. It is not a reflection of your parenting skills whether you can get your babies to sleep through the night.

Just remember that it will pass. You 4 year old sleeps through the night, right? Your twins will too.

Good luck.

J.,

I only really have one suggestion for helping sleep (see below), but I do know when babies reach a milestone like walking and standing and crawling they often have sleep issues at the same time. It will pass in a short bit.

As for suggestions for sleeping, we had to modify our tactics many times with our oldest several times. Each thing worked for a while, but evenutally we had to cry it out. ...here's what we did.

After you get her calmed, try standing by the crib and when she starts to fidget or fuss, shush and patt her on the back. When she's calm. Stop and wait for her to do it again. My son eventually fell asleep with this tactic.

J.,
If bringing the baby to bed with you works and you're ok with it, do it. This is likely just a developmental phase that is contributing to waking at night and shouldn't last that long. We sleep with our son, and especially at 8mo, no one should be scolding you if you bring the baby to bed and you can actually get some sleep. You can move her back to her crib when things have settled down again. Just make sure your bed is safe and she can't slip in a crack (like against the wall) or fall out. Otherwise, it should be fine and likely she'll sleep well again after she masters these big motor skills.
Good luck! Hang in there!

I've learned with my little one that babies go through many different sleep cycles or phases. My daugter sleeps horrible sometimes and really good other times. Whoever says your not "suppose" to co-sleep with your babies are of course entiled to their own thoughts but I think otherwise. My daugter slept with us until she was 13months and then she actually wanted to sleep in her own crib. If if help the both of you sleep better to bring her to bed with you I would recommend it. Us Mamas need all the sleep we can get.

I just wanted to let you know that both of my kids started waking up at the exact same age as well. I'm pretty sure that it's due to a big developmental jump. Unfortunately for us, my kids hit that age right at spring break time, so we didn't sleep much while we were on vacation! :( It lasted about 4-6 weeks for both girls. I, too, just pulled them into bed with me, and that seemed to help. We've had no problem getting them back in their own beds.

Good luck.

Hi J.,
Unfortunately, I don't have any really good advice for you, but just wanted to share that I think this is fairly common when kids first learn to stand (the same thing happened with my son). Also, I wanted to offer a bit of comfort in that you should do whatever works for you and your family to get the rest you need. :-) For some, it means "cry it out", for others -- take the kid in bed with you. Really, there is no "right" or "wrong" -- they both have consequences either now or later. :-) You are a good Mom.

Have a great day.
A.

Hi J.,

I am a mom who believes in the "cry it out" method. Each kid is different so they all respond differently. With my son, I was worried he would be waking up his 3 year old sister and in fact he has woken her a couple of times. I usually explain to her what is happening and that soon her brother will go back to sleep. Obviously you can't explain things to the other twin but I think the idea of getting a pack and play and letting the other twin sleep in a different room for awhile is a great idea. It only takes a few nights of "crying it out" for them to learn. With my son I had to do this method because nothing would console him...he didn't want to be held, changed, rocked, read to, soothed, etc. I would usually go in, check for obvious problems and if nothing was wrong I would then leave. He still crys sometimes but only about 1-2 minutes. He is very good about going to bed and putting himself back to sleep. One thing we did around 12 months was to put a sippy cup of water in the bed with him. Sometimes he will wake up, cry a little, and then you hear him drinking the water and going back to sleep. Good luck and be patient. You will figure out what works.

If she's not poopy, sick, teething, or too hot/cold I'd let her keep crying. If you go in she'll know that if she cries long enough Mama will rescue me. Set the rules if you don't want her in bed with you. Maybe try a snack before bed too like puffs or something. We didn't want kids in our bed because people say it's bad. It's up to you as a parent. I personally like our oldest when she wants to sleep in our bed. Ever since she was two we reserve the weekends to sleep in our bed. You may not want to have her in bed all the time but I don't see why you can't on occassion, specially when you need sleep too.

My daughter did this at that age as well. I personally cannot do the "cry it out" thing. I read a book written by a "sleep expert" and she said that you should walk into the room, kneel down to see her/him throught the crib slats (if you stand up next top the crib, it will provoke the child to stand up if they aren't already and if they are standing up already it will give them the cue that they are going to get picked up). Then you should only use 3 words at this time......."night,night/shhhhh/sleep.
Do not make eye contact or say anything else. If needed, rub her back or tummy with your hand through the crib slats. I did this with my daughter and it did work. She really seemed to understand that I was there, everything was going to be okay and that YES, it was still bedtime!! The first few times, she did cry a little bit even though I was there, but I stuck to the plan and she caught on. Best of all, I did not need to leave her to "cry it out." Good luck with this, I know it can be very difficult to find out what works for you and your family.

I can't let my kids cry it out. It is totally normal and as they reach other milestones this may happen again. I also brought my daughter's into our bed. You need sleep so you have to do what is going to work for you! You don't have to do it forever, just to get through this tough spot. My kids slept in our room, sometimes our bed, until about 9 months and then I moved them into cribs. Occasionally now they want to sleep in our bed-mostly if they are sick or we have been busy and they don't get to bed on time. But it usually doesn't last the whole night. Anyhow, you need sleep so you can take care of them all day so do what works for you for now. Don't let anyone tell you you are doing it wrong--it isn't for everyone but parenting is very personal and individual!!! Good luck and remember you are doing great!

Let her cry it out, check the obvious, sick, diaper, teething etc.. Let her cry it out

If you have to put a pack n play in another room farther from the bedrooms so she's not waking and disturbing anyone.

I babysit a 9mo. old and she started doing this too, also crawling and standing. She started waking 2-4 times a night. I watch her overnights a few times a week and I can't handle it.I need MY sleep. So I moved her pack n play away from bedroom and am trying to teach her to put herself back to sleep. She'll lose her pacifier and then wake up but not really be ready to wake up. She's use to her mom sleeping with her in the same bed and when she makes the tiniest fuss mom pats her or put her pacificer back in well at my house she's learning to soothe herself. I'm not letting her sleep in my bed because it's not my child and if something happened like me rolling on her or something I would never forgive myself yet I know it's hypocritical my 6 year old is in my bed.