Need Help with Pool Rules- Please!

Hi L.,
Children can drown in seconds to minutes when an eye is taken off for just a second.

I assume you have a fence...I have 5 children now grown and I had very strict pool rules. The children could never enter without an adult who is a designated lifeguard; so they had to sit outside the pool until the adult went to the bathroom/changed. I put a lock on the pool gate to re-enforce (good idea so that the neighbors do not feel they can use the pool when you are gone). So, if a neighbor is willing to tag team and to lifeguard and accept the seriousness of the responsibility great, but remind them if they have to go to the bathroom---everyone out of the pool area. If the children are not swimmers, then the mother must be in the pool with them---not just lifeguarding. At a young age, keep it one adult to three children max---assuming two are competent enough and mom has to watch one. And remind everyone with a baby in the house close the gate or you will not be invited back. Post the rules by the pool, so that the neighbors understand that safety has to come first.
Please be careful.

Same situation here-my pool rules are anyone is welcome with their own towels, drinks/snacks, and parents! I was finding that kids would just show up with towels, expect to be fed, and I was a babysitter & lifeguard! Unfortunetly people will take advantage if you let them. Good luck!

It's ok if there isn't much swimming this summer at your house. Unless you want a lot of company (other parents to watch the pool), you have the right to say when kids are invited and if it's only for short periods of time, well that's life. They'll have to be grateful for that much.
You didn't mention how old your older children are. Are they old enough to be enlisted for a little help now and then? Of course, they would have to be super responsible, too.

For more reasons then I can list I'd actually write a letter to these parents, asking them to either sign a waver saying they won't file a law suit if their child gets hurt or to "please ask first and then come with their child and supervise them themselves". Parents are great at sending kids off to the neighbors for their own breaks, but quick to file a law suit if anything goes wrong. Protect yourselves and your family first. It's very kind that you would allow them to be there "sometimes" but just coming at will has to stop. You can't be there all the time and you shouldn't have to be. Things happen and as nice as you are to offer the pool, parents won't recall the kindness if their child gets hurt. Protect yourself first. Good luck.

L.,

Definitely have the parents/adults of the other children be responsible for them. Otherwise it will be stressful and the last question you want to deal with is why you didn't watch someone's child after an accident. Each family should be responsible if they want the priviledge of using the pool.
Best of luck,
S. H.

Hi L.,
Congrats on the new baby!
We have an in-ground pool, and three kids. Beth said it all, no adults, no pool. Post the rules.
My oldest is about to be 14 and I still keep an eye out when she's swimming.
Also, I wouldn't let anyone use your pool without you being there in person. You are liable, it's your property. We pay extra in insurance because of the pool and have purchased riders for pool parties. Good luck!

As a former lifeguard and Water Safety Instructor I have to say that you should not allow anyone, and I mean your kids too, in the pool unless an adult is present. The adult must be at poolside at all times when the kids are in the pool. I would suggest calling the parents of the kids in the neighborhood and explaining that the pool is not open unless they know that you, your husband or another pre-arranged adult is going to be there by the pool acting as lifeguard. This doesn't mean that they should assume you are going to be watching the pool just because you are home with the baby. It also doesn't mean that if someone calls and wants to swim that you are obligated to say yes, especially if you had no intentions of being out by the pool at that time. You don't want the other parents just sending their kids over whenever the kid wants to swim.

I would also not allow kids to come over with their parents whenever they felt like it. This is your pool, in your yard, not a public swimming pool. You are liable whether or not their parent is there.

Explain to your kids and their friends and parents that this is a safety and liability issue and that as much as you'd like them all to be able to come over whenever they want to use the pool they just can't. Your kids could call their friends when the pool is open and available or you could have a flag that you put in the front yard so the friends know when it's ok to come over.(Just make sure to take it down when it's not pool time.) Or there could be some other signal your kids could have with their friends.

I would definately ask the kids what their swimming ability is. Appropriate PFDs should be worn by those who need them. These should not have to be supplied by you.

Other pool rules apply such as no roughhouseing, no diving if it is not deep enough, no running around the edge (if it's an in-ground pool), etc. Go over all of the rules with all the kids before anyone gets in the pool. Write the rules on a board and post them by the pool, too, so no one can "forget". Rule breakers will have to sit out for an established period of time (5 or 10 minutes). Believe me, if it's hot out and they see their friends having fun, they won't do it again.If they do, they have to immediately go home.

I know this may sound really harsh and restrictive but just think how you'd feel if something happened to one of your kids or one of their friends. Establish all the rules up front, enforce them with no exceptions and they'll get it pretty quickly and have a good time.

Get yourself a baby sling, a comfy chair with a big umbrella, and a cooler full of iced water and enjoy your new baby and your summer. Good luck!

The pool is a great activity. We loved ours while it was still "alive". We had rules for the kids and their friends, and had to hold by them. At first it made me feel like an ogre, but it did bring about some sanity to our lives. 1) No swimming with out an adult. 2) Swimming could only happen after my kids chores were done. 3) If I was unavailable they had to wait, preparing meals, taking care of the little one or whatever the case, they had to wait. Patience is a good thing to learn, and they are none the worse for the wear now that they are older teens.

We tried having the other parents at our home to watch our kids, but then I felt like I was having to entertain them as well. It started seeming like a party at our house every day. They were always welcome, to come over, but it wasn't mandatory.

I would limit the amount of kids that come over, tell your kids they can each have one friend over at a time. Best of luck and enjoy the pool.

We have the same issue! We talked to the parents of kids in our neighborhood and set up the following rules. Everyone is welcome. I made it clear that I cannot supervise all the time and do not wish to be responsible for the safety of other people's children, especially those that are not great swimmers. Our rule is if the kids come to swim, the parents come to watch. Actually it hasn't been a problem, and I've gotten to know the parents better as a result! We are able to chat while the kids swim. we also rotate snacks and drinks. Everyone contributes and it goes pretty well. Good luck!

i would have the parents come watch their kids and have a time that is an open swim for friends no one wants a bunch of kids around all the time
plus the kids would have to go home to change and get towels and would have to tell their parents where they are going
i'm not sure of your older kids ages but i'ld set up some rules first
and most parents should understand that you can't watch everyone while taking care of a baby
good luck this summer

We have a pool too. Our rule is that there has to be an adult in the pool area if the kids are swimming. My son, who is 9, is a very good swimmer and I start feeling comfortable leaving him alone there for a couple of minutes, but I would never leave him alone with a friend. First of all, I am not sure how well the other kid swims, secondly you never know what ideas they have. Jumping accidents is just one to mention.
My bottom line: if you cannot be there and be ready to jump in, don't let them swim.
The other option is to ask other parents to be there. If a kid calls and wants to come over for a swim, have them bring an adult if you cannot supervise them.
Don't let yourself be convinced otherwise. If there is a bad accident, you will never be happy again.

We've had an in-ground pool for 18 years.... My oldest is 16 now and has had many a fun playdate in the backyard. Establish what you are comfortable with.... if you tell people to drop over anytime, they might.... Even if you stay inside you are still "on call" for bathroom breaks, etc.... I have never felt comfortable leaving people alone in our backyard. I wish I had hung a "pool open" sign in our front yard when I wanted guests..... Instead I was always gracious and willing and exhausted sometimes. Nowadays I am hermit-like in who we invite because I have two small children (4 and 6) and do not want the liability of watching a crowd. Even with others helping out, it is still YOUR yard. When you change the "rules" be prepared if people's feelings get hurt so my warning to you..... Do not say "drop over anytime" unless you are totally prepared for the consequences. Take care!

Our neighbors have a pool and the parents are not always home during the day to watch them swim. They invite my kids over all the time and I say absolutely not without an adult. I have gone with them in the past and stayed while my kids were in the pool, but I feel a bit awkward about it. I also don't agree with their decision to have kids there when no one is home (other neighborhood kids) and sometimes feel responsible for them too, but I'm not going to stay all day and watch other peoples kids when I have things to do. All of my friends with pools are shocked that there is no parental supervision, so it is definitely NOT the norm. Their parents think it's "sweet" that I'm so concerned about my kids (they are 8 and 5!!!). So I would recommend that no one swims in the pool without an adult present and it's ok to invite a parent along to help out with the supervision.

A neighbor of mine had a great idea that I thought might interest you.

She had a "I'm not the lifeguard" attitude and made sure every one knew that she would not be responsible for anyone's child - that was up to each parent.

Second, she set up a system to let the neighborhood know when they could and could not use the pool: she had a "fish flag" that wasn't very big and when the flag was flying, the pool was open to the public. When the flag was down, it was closed. If she found out that you had gone swimming when the fish flag was down, you couldn't come over the next day. I don't recall anyone breaking that rule.

I think if you set up very specific ground rules and make sure that everyone knows them, it should be smooth sailing.

Best wishes!
C.

Hi L.,
We just got a pool put in for this year and we decided that no other children other than our own will be allowed to swim in our pool unless one of their parents are around and at our home supervising them. God forbid anything happen to anyone elses child on your watch. I would definitely recommend another child's parents to be there regardless of the age. You shouldn't have the responsibility of anyone elses children but your own when it comes to swimming in your pool. Good luck, I do wish you the best, but I would highly suggest you stick with having the other kids parents there supervising them while at your home/pool. :)

Base your decision on whether you are prepared to have one of these children drown at your home.

My rules are:

No Adults = No Pool.

It only takes seconds for someone to drown. I will not be responsible for someone else's child swimming unsupervised in MY POOL. Their families are welcome to swim - but they need to watch THEIR own children.