Need Help with My 5 Year Old PK Student Who ACTS up in School

Make sure no one is hurting him at school. If the behavior is only at school, look closely at the school and those in charge. Sometimes, it's not what you think at all.
Divorce and separation devestates children too. It's easy as an adult to uderestimate what the children suffer. You have so much to deal with right now. I wish you could have a vacation. Ask god to calm his spirit and to give him the grace and mercy he needs to face the future.

Well it seems that i have not had the severity of problems as you have but one issue and piece o advice stood out to me. i have a 5 yr old boy in prek. and he went (havent had an episode in 3 months) through a phase of hitting and getting angry and not listening to the teacher. which i have never seen those things at home or ever! And i too control mine at home or whenever people are around but lately ive gotten some confirmation about controliong too much. im trying to let him (them) work it out on their own. im trying to get to a point where i see the things we need to improve on and then have a sit down session with him afterwards. Tell him things like i was really disappointed or sad when you didnt let the baby play with your toys and if you can find something during the day your proud of him for so he can be reassured of the differences.

There is an awesome program at the University of Houston called the Forensic Psychology program run by Dr. Jack Fletcher and Dr. Amy Grills in the school of Psychology - they do an awesome job of performing testing to identify what kind of issues may be at play in an educational environment. They use students to conduct the testing so you can get these services way cheaper than using another source. You can't rule out learning disorders - that could be a source of frustration causing some acting out behavior. Anyway, they are much faster and more thorough than Texas Children's program where there is usually a wait list of several months to get someone's attention. In my opinion, that is the first step, some comprehensive diagnostics - then they can refer you to the proper professionals for treatment. If you Google their names you can get a phone number for the program.

I think you are doing the right things to get him help - counseling can help kids to talk (or use play therapy) to express their feelings. It won't help immediately, but it usually does help eventually. It is good to address it now and not later, losing a father is very hard for any child especially a boy (you and your daughter could benefit from counseling as well). I am sure you may have tried this but I would also use as much positive reinforcement as you can - rewards at the end of the week when he does at least acceptable (maybe not perfect, but at least not hurting anyone or causing a major disruption). Keep in close contact with the teacher and make sure she knows what is going on with him. Never talk or act negatively towards or about the other parent, as children internalize that. You probably know all of this, but I wanted to tell you I think you are doing the right thing, and that you can not control your kids 100% - they are their own little people and have to improve in their own time, while still giving consequences and help to them when they need it. Hang in there and God bless you and your family.