Need Help with a Schedule!!

First I would like to say...what you see is not always what is going on...I look at other people and think I'd like to have that sort of life and then you find out what things are like it their life and you think other wise...
Anyway...When I worked I did get up early and workout at home (www.firmdirect.com) These ladies at the FIRM have been my savior and it is much cheaper than a gym membership.
Try going to www.flylady.com too. She might give you a guidline that would work for you...you just have to remember that you have to let some of the house work slide a little in order to have family time...incorporate a family cleaning day where everyone has one thing they are in charge of...dusting, collecting laundry, unloading the dishwasher...
Good luck,
Jen

I'm horrible at scheduling "me time". lol.
I end up doing it in odd ways- I take my bath and read a book/ play a video game/etc... While waiting in line, I might knit or play a video game (Hubby got me a DS to relax with).
I do yoga in the shower.

Basically if there is a time that I'm supposed to be "alone" (and sadly it's normally in the bathroom) I use that as my "me time" for the day. It's not much, but it's more than it could be.

I have a 3-year-old son and a 6-month old daughter. The ONLY time I can have for ME is after they've gone to bed. My daughter is in bed at 8pm and my son at 8:30pm. Establishing a good sleep routine took time and a lot of energy initially, but it is the best thing you can do to ensure your sanity later.

And, no matter what, you will have to take some time on weekends for yourself. Start with something realistic, like 45min-1hr for a workout or even a walk.

This is an on-going endeavor and your schedule will change as your daughter grows. Don't even THINK that other moms seem to "have it all figured out". There is no perfection. We can sure learn and get ideas from each other though.

From my experience as the mother of a 3-year-old you will never find the time... you will have to make the time. If you can't make time for yourself in what's left of your day after everything else, maybe you can use your travel time as your time (assuming you travel by yourself). Maybe try getting some books on cd from the library, and since you might be at the library, read a magazine while you're there. I've been told that Cracker Barrel also has books on cd that you can rent and return to any other Cracker Barrel. And if that's not enough, schedule a day once a month or every other week with your spouse so that you can go shopping, take a bath, paint your nails or go to the spa if you've got a little extra money. And don't forget about make a date with your spouse for the 2 of you to connect as well as your alone time.

Typically, if you're working full time, there isn't enough time in the day to get everything done that you feel you need to. The only thing that seemed to work for me and the other working moms in my life is to get up before the children and work out then. This was typically 430- 5 am when I was working. Or, you can wait til the kids are in bed (our daughter goes to bed about 630 and son bw 8 and 9 at the latest). We're on a 10 PM - 5/6 am sleep schedule. That way, you have an hour before or after the children wake up.

As a sahm mom, I have the luxury of now sleeping in til 530 or 6 every day and not heading out to the gym til 8....But yeah as a working mom, don't expect to get everything done you feel like you SHOULD. There's no way to do it.

Since you are wanting a chance to read, why not do audio books while you are driving to work and home each day. It's a chance to escape and your local library should have tons of them you can check out for free. It's hard to balance it all...just do what YOU can do for your family, we are all different. Good Luck

I know several moms who use their lunch break as their exercise/gym time. Do you drive or ride a train to work? If you drive, check your local library for books on tape/cd. If you ride, read then. As I told my husband when we first had children, you have to redefine downtime and enjoy your quiet moments when you have them. Good luck!

I am not sure if this will help or not but here is my schedule. 4:45 am my alarm goes off
5:00 am I start my 45 min long workout at home
(I have a nice treadmill and weights)
6:00 am Shower, make-up, hair
6:45 am my little girl gets dressed, hair ect.
7:30 am out the door to day care and work
8:30 - 5 pm work
6 pm Dinner
6:45 pm bath time
7:45 pm book and too bed
9:00 - 9:30 lights out for me
My husband and I share all of the duties so we switch every other day bath and bedtime so each of us gets a break fromit. That helps me. My daughter it almost 5 so the novelty of baths and books has worn off for me. I will admitt I am ready for the next step in my childs life.

If your going to the gym could you go before work, possibly after the kids are dropped of at school or daycare. If you can find a gym close to your work you could do it right before or after work. I prefer to work out in the morning. It seems that I am more productive during the day then. My husband puts in long days at work. He enjoys watching a movie or DVD on his laptop during his lunch break. He can go into his area with his lunch, sit at his desk and watch the DVD while he eats. I used to read during my lunch break at one job. The last job I had was in a convent in MO. The sisters provided lunch for us and we could sit in the dining room with them and eat. It was nice to sit with my co-workers and enjoy a meal. When it was nice outside we would utilize the picnic tables for lunch break. Hope this helps,God Bless

I haven't figured it out in 18 years. Please let me know if you do!

Hi V.
You ask the question that I think just about every mom asks themselves, including me. Personally, my "me" time is not routine. My husband and I have the same needs for ourselves, including time out with friends and going to the gym. We don't have any family here, so we have to alternate our times that we go out. Usually it goes to the one that feels more energetic or social. Is your husband open to giving that time to you? Can you do your "me" time after your child goes to bed? I definitely struggled with "me" time and "baby" time when I went back to work full time. I was fortunate enough to get to stay home with my son for 6 months when we moved here last year. I had the mommy guilt thing going on. I didn't exercise very much or do other things during the week; I wanted that time with my son - again the mommy guilt. My son is starting to stay up later now and it seems to work out if I go to the gym right after work or keep HH (when I actually go) shorter so I can get home and put him to bed. But my husband is very understanding and helpful with this.
Maybe a suggestion...pick some kind of class or a time frame and say "from this time to this time I'm doing this" whether it be going to the gym or going to a coffee shop to read or whatever your interest is, stick with that time frame and try to make it a weekly (or more or less) routine for yourself. Good luck!

P.

It's very difficult to get "me" time and you're not alone, but it can be done. Maybe not every day or every week, but perhaps once a month. I liked the idea of audio books, at least that gives you the opportunity to let your brain escape from 'what's for dinner, etc'. Also, you may have to let certain things go in order to get your gym time or quiet time, for just an hour don't worry about the laundry, dishes, etc. About once every 3 months I have my husband take the kids somewhere for the day or I'll go and do something (or nothing). It's easier said than done, but you have to make it happen, it rarely happens on its own.

best of luck

It's tough to do. Since I work part-time, I use naptimes on my day off to write or catch up with friends online.

One thing -- you mentioned reading. Have you considered audiobooks for your commute? I used to drive an hour to work and LOVED "reading" so much. I got the audiobooks free at the library, but you can also get them at paperbackswap.com for "free" if you have books to swap. Just a thought...

Good luck.

I have had three best girlfriends for 20+ years. We're all married and have extremely busy lives now with careers, husbands, kids, etc. BUT, we set aside one saturday every single month for Girl Day. We get together for breakfast and spend all day long together. We will run eachothers errands together and then we always plan a couple fun things....like a manicure, or we'll go paint pottery, or see a movie. What we do all depends on everyone's budget at the time. =0) Sometimes, we'll pick a house (w/o husbands and kids) and wear jammies, order pizza, and watch DVDs all day. We usually end our evening with a really yummy dinner out. Like I said, it takes a lot of planning and we'll plan the next month's date while we're all together and it's set in stone! =0) The four of us LIVE for our girl days. It's only once a month, but it's a whole day of fun and it's always great to get home to your hubby and sleeping kids! Good luck!!

haha me time!?! hubby and i said we will see each other in about 10 years... just part of having kids

Hi V.-From my experience you just have to make the time. I have found to have extra time you have to forgo the extra sleep. My kids are to bed at 8:00. But with your hour commute I can not imagine how you do it. Don't let dinner time suffer, that's a great time to spend with the kids. You can prepare meals that freexe eaisly so all you have to do is set them out in the morning or crock pot meals are wonderful. Just throw everything in in the morning before going off to work. That may give you a little extra time at night not preparing meals.
Most importantly, not everyone has it all together. THose that look like they do, don't!

The only thing that has worked for me to stick to the gym schedule, is by waking up at 5 am 3 times per week and go for a 1-hour workout from 5:30 - 6:30 am. It's hard, but I've found it to be worthy. I also work full time and trying to go to the gym in the afternoon-evening-night does not work for me.

Good luck!

V.,
This is a problem most of us working moms face. We try to do everything and please everyone while forgetting about our needs/wants. In a perfect world we'd all be Wonder Woman, but that's not going to happen. You need to set priorities by making a simple list of things you normally do each day, week, month, etc. See what has to be done and who can be tasked out to do it. If your budget allows, hire someone to come in once a month for a really good cleaning to free up some time for you and the family. I've found that going to the gym during my lunch kills two birds with one stone. I eat a quick healthy meal after a short 30 minute workout. There's a gym close to the office, so I joined! It rejuvenates me and lasts until bedtime. Remember that it's okay to order in food some nights. I love my crock pot. I prep food for the next day while making dinner. In the morning I pop the food into the crock pot and turn the switch to Low. When we get home the house smells great, dinner's cooked, some Pillsbury rolls go into the oven and I pull out a salad. Easy! Another idea is to cook large portions when you have the time and just freeze family sized portions. This alone has saved me more times than I can count. I use freezer bags for soups, beans and pasta. Lay them flat at first, then once they're frozen, you can stand them up to maximize space...like a little library! I hope this helps. Good luck to you!

Hi V.! I am a 34 year old mother with an 18 month old boy and a little girl due 4/1/09. I work full time and commute 30 minutes each way, that is if my husband helps with the daycare drop off. If I have to do that too, it adds about 30 minutes to my routine.

I don't have any great tips, just what works for us right now. I try to leave work at a regular time so I can get home to be with the family. We reserve 6-7 pm for our family when we eat dinner and do our "bedtime routine." Our son is usually in bed by 7 pm. After cleaning up and packing for daycare, we are usually done with chores by 8 pm. That gives my husband and I time to watch tv or me time to read.

I am lucky to have a wonderful husband. I have two events that happen each month, a book club and a Mom's Night Out. They are regularly scheduled events and they start at 7, after our son is in bed. As long as my husband knows in advance, he is great at helping in the evenings so I can go out. Other than that, I have to wake up extra early if I want time work out (treadmill in our house which helps).

Maybe you can use your commute time for yourself, like enjoying a cup of coffee on the road or getting a book on tape from the library. Good luck and stick with it!

L.

I have a friend that puts plays with her girls for 30 mins as soon as she gets home from work. Next she puts them in the tub, starts dinner, then has them in bed no later than 8pm. After that her and her husband have "me time". You can either hang out with your hubby at that time, or take your own time to read. I stay at home but do not have any "me time" and what I do is when I put them to bed by 8:30 then get on the computer and "play" with email and then at 10pm, my husband and I meet in bed and then we read. Another thing I do to try and get more than one thing done at a time is while my kids are in the tub I read the mail, read mags, read the paper, paint my nails, etc As far as the gym, your only options are either early in the am before work, during your lunch time, or after work when your husband can take care of your daughter. You may not want to give up that time though. You may be able to take a 1/2 hour lunch and leave 30 mins early each day and do the gym for 30 mins. Or, you can walk on your lunch hour instead. Bring a book to work and at lunch time, leave the bldg and go to a park, even sit in your car reading or listening to music. Another friend makes two meals at a time on weekends. She then freezes the extra or she will use it that week as left over so there are two nights during the week that she does not have to cook. That frees up a lot of time. You can also crock pot meals two days a week. Have soup and salad, have breakfast one night...all these things are quick. Maybe your husband can either take on the cooking or take on the bathing so you have an extra 30 mins. Join a bunco group, have a girls night out, just have dinner and drinks. Take turns with your husband one night a week. One night you go have drinks with a friend, or go to the gym, whatever you enjoy and one night he goes and plays golf, pool, whatever he enjoys. Good luck!

My husband and I are 2 totally different schedules. To give us both "us" time, we each came up with a day of the week that we wanted. Michael has Mon and Tue evenings- after wk he can go wk out, play video games with friends, or chill out with our daughter and me. My day is Sun.... I love to scrapbook and be with family, so usually I srcap in the early morning and late afternoon (when Michael and our daught take a nap), and then in the middle we have "family time. (I work weekends, so that changes here and there. Flex is the key). Even if its walking around Target- who cares? we're togehter and laughting and having fun. You have to figure out what works for you... if your not a morning person, don't schedule yourself to get up at 4 am to read a book!! It wont happen. Like wise, if you schedule yourself alone time at the house, when the family is home, you're not going to get it! Maybe your lunch breaks, Sat mornings, or if you have a flex schedule, take half a day to go to a park, a gym, whatever. Do you work on your commute or listen to music? Do you think about work or listen to a book? Can you work it out with your boss that you tellacommute 1-2 days a week? That would be great; first 3 hours of the day for you, and then get down to business. Hope this helps!!

Dear V.,
I would start by turning off the t.v. in the morning and evening when you get home from work, it will eat up your time without even realizing it. If you need to know the weather go to the weather channel. The best suggestion for you getting too read would be buy or rent some books on tape to listen to during your work commute, they are great and the suspense will have you looking forward to your morning and evening commute. If your spending all your time preparing meals when your home, try eating out or picking up some takeout one night a week. Talk to your hubby about scheduling a spa treatment or manicure occasionally, it will relax you and give you much needed refreshment. Your child will appreciate you just reading some books to them or sing songs while your cooking or bathing her, getting her dressed. YOU ARE PROBABLY A GREAT WIFE & MOM, and just being too hard on yourself, don't ever compare, everyone has their challenges and are doing the best they can. We all want and need breaks, and little ones on occasion can last a long time in re-energizing you to your role and purpose. God's best to you and peace for your home,
Sincerely, S.

Hi, I'm the former 'V. W', now 'C'. We're parents to 4 grown kids and our oldest daughter is a SAHM to 3 little ones -- as were my own mom and I. At the risk of sounding judgemental (which I'm not being), I'd REALLY suggest that you quit your day job unless you can prove on paper that it's amounting to more than 1/3 of your family income AFTER deducting the cost of gas, childcare, meals on the run, clothing (for the job) and the time you're MISSING with your child. EVERYONE only has 24 hours in their day, and some things (like church for churchgoers) you just have to MAKE time for. You don't 'find' time for them. We 'make time' for our jobs, eating (USUALLY! LOL), etc, and 'self-time' for a new mom is almost non-existent even for SAHMoms! There's ALWAYS something to do!

Hope you make the right decision(s) that you'll be glad that you made after another 18 years! You can't buy back time with your kids.

From my experience, other mothers "seem" to have it together, but I could never figure out how they do it. Eventually, I began wondering if they were really as together as they appeared.

When my kids were small I tried all kinds of scheduling tricks. Nothing worked. My best bet was to get my husband to watch the kids for a couple hours on Saturday so I could have time to myself, but I always had to leave home to get it. If I stayed at home, my kids invariably interrupted me and my husband let them.

If your husband can't watch your daughter, maybe you can pull in another relative or a neighbor to give you a couple hours a week. I highly recommend it.

I put my kids to bed at 7:30, spend the next hour straightening up, the next hour is mine!

I wake up 30 minutes early to work out. Thats the only way Ive found.