Need Help with 3 Year Old Boy Fingerpainting with Poop.

Hello,

Stay at home mom of three and my suggesting to you is to make him clean the mess himself. He won't do a good juob, adn yes you will have to clean the mess that he tried to clean but the point is to hold him responsible for his actions. I have done this with my child and they cry but they did stop.

Hope this helps!

My brother and his wife solved this for their daughter by cutting the feet off some sleepers and putting them on her backwards for sleeping times. She couldn't reach the zipper -problem solved! Good luck!

K.

My 3 year old stopped napping a long time ago, but to get her to do it we have started getting her up earlier and scheduling "quiet tv time" around her baby sister's nap time, which usually puts her to sleep. He may sleep better in a room separate from his brother too.

She too did the fingerpainting thing a few times but I told her that it spreads germs and can make her sick, she seemed to understand. And that poop stays in her diaper or the toilet only. Other advice I got was to direct her to another artistic activity to distract and correct her.

If he's doing it because he's frustrated, angry, or upset, make sure to go over with him that it's okay to feel these ways and show him how not to and how to express them in a way that doesn't hurt him or anyone else. Good luck!

I want to respectfully disagree with the previous poster – I don't think spanking is ever appropriate, even more so if your son is already angry and scared. Here are just a couple links to consider on the topic:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/48

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp

I would check the Dr. Sears site or any of the many parenting books out there for advice on how to handle this difficult behavior.

A couple of thoughts: Can you provide your sons with their own quiet places to nap? Or can you intervene before/during the behavior so he is less upset and better able to communicate with you?

You can also get those footy pj's and cut the feet off then put him in it backwards so that he can't unzip it (hopefully). Perhaps also making him help you clean it up, that might make it 'un-fun' enough that he would stop. Good luck!

I had a friend who put her kiddo in a blanket sleeper (BACKWARDS) with diaper pin at the top. Sounds crazybut it worked. Also, if that is his body's natural cycle to poop at that time, maybe adjust his nap schedule?

Hi A., what an icky problem you have. I'm so sorry. Well, here are my thoughts. My daughter used to take off her diaper as well. Lucky, we didn't have fingerpainting issues, but it was constant bedwetting. So, I started putting her pjs on backwards AND her diaper on backwards. It worked until she grew out of the phase. However, now she still insists on wear pjs at nap and sometimes even puts them on backwars herself! :) silly girl.
Good luck with this issue.
A.
Oh, one more thing. Do not let them sleep together. That would at least alleviate him taking off his brother's diaper AND teaching brother what to do.

Hi A.,
Urgh - poor you!! I have a few more questions than answers for you...

Is there a way to separate the boys for their nap time? Can you put them down at different times? Is the 3 y/o capable of potty training now? Have you any idea why he is getting so upset at naptime - do you think it is connected to poopy diapers??(I know you said you change them before you put them down, but maybe he wants out of diapers completely?).

Short of having him fully understand why it is gross and unhygienic, for now, I think I would try to be restricting access. I would definitely point out the nasty germs he could be exposed to and how it can make him sick. Would it help if you got him to help with the clean up (assuming you aren't now, of course)?

Good luck!

I would make sure he cleaned up his own mess. Vinegar or soap and water should do the trick. I went through something similar with my son. I made sure that if he knew that it was wrong, but did it anyway, that I would make him clean up after himself. But, if it was an accident, I would assist him. This way he knows that I am there to help him.

Have you had him help you clean it up? It sounds like a control battle of will. He knows it is wrong, but is doing it out of protest to the nap? Or maybe he is trying to entertain his brother? Could you separate them for naptime and see if that helps? I am sorry, it sounds like a horrible situation. Just keep trying suggestions people give you, and hopefully this phase will end soon!

I would agree with making him clean it. I would also have a serious effect that I warn him about beforehand, and then follow though with, like taking away his favorite things for a good long while. This type of behavior should be stopped ASAP, even if it means losing all his favorite stuff.

You poor thing! I know the feeling of being helpless and the situation being out of control. He has got the better of you, and it's time to turn the situation around and get control. To start, I would tell him that he is not going to do that any more, and make him an offer he can't refuse (take some major privilege away - like not going swimming, or taking all his toys away...). It may take some time for you to convince him that you are serious, as he is testing you to see what will happen. As long as it is inconsistent, he will continue testing.

I would then be having him clean up the mess (as much as possible). Hold his hands with yours if you must and have him scrub. I would then clean him up with a cold bath. He needs to learn that his behavior is not going to be tolerated or rewarded (with loving praise, which is useless when it's time for correction), and I would be putting the baby to sleep somewhere else, so he doesn't have access.

Then, I would highly recommend reading John Rosemond. He is no nonsense and doesn't buy all the psycho babble of today. He has written a lot of books. For you, I would recommend Making the Terrible Twos Terrific (you're a bit past that, but it still applies). You can read some of his newspaper articles on www.rosemond.com, and get a feel for him. You can get his books there, or on amazon, or maybe try the library. He will teach you how to become a powerful, loving parent, who is in charge.

Once he is under control, it's time to potty train. The book Toilet Training in Less than a Day worked for us on our 27 month old, who has been in underwear for 5 months now. Good luck to you!

I do not know if this helps or not, I have a daughter who is now 5, had been pooping her pants up until she was 4 years old. I had a hard time trying to get her to go to the bathroom when she does this. She still occasionally does this <when she plays outside, does not want to come in> however, have used a created Publisher calendar with her picture on it, and have her put stickers on the calendar (kept in her room where it is private only she can see it no one else) every time she goes in the toilet; she earns a sticker. That worked wonders for me. Now I am working on her bedtime wetting, doctor says not to worry she is 7 years of age. But ya know being a mom, I worry because she was diagnosed with bladder tubal problem before she was she, and was to expect her having bladder problems, however I am determined to win this by using the sticker calendar again, and it seems to work as well. No guarantee that it would work for your child. Mine was going through somes trauma during before this time, so had to be patient with her.
Good Luck,
D.

ok, so my son never finger painted with his poop, but he did play with it. I think it is a control issue. My son did his handy work right after his sister was born. My kids are also two years apart. We tried everything to keep the pajamas on and the diaper. We put his diaper on backwards. We put his pajamas on backward. We didn't try duct tape, but I have heard of that solution. I don't know if your son is still in diapers or not, but I'm assuming his little brother is so you could try to prevent the diaper from coming off. My son did this for a couple months and then he stopped. We tried to not make a big deal out of it so as not to give him the attention he wanted from it. I know it's hard to keep your cool, but the best thing to do is to not show a reaction to it. Just clean it up and move on. He should eventually stop doing it when he knows it won't give him the attention he wants. The other thing you could try is to put them down at different times for their nap. Maybe put your 1 year old down first and spend some extra quality time with your 3 year old. Then put him down for his nap. He is just trying to get more attention from you and this is his way of showing that. I'm impressed you have a three year old that will nap at all. I gave up trying to get my son to nap after his poop escapades. He still probably needs it, but it's not worth my sanity. And he sleeps great at night! Good luck!

i DID NOT READ ALL OF YOUR RESPONSES I TOTALLY AGREE WITH BECKY L. hE NEEDS TO BE TAKING RESPONSABILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS. i USED TO WORK IN A CHILD CARE CENTER AND WHENEVER WE HAD CHILDREN THAT DID THINGS LIKE PEE ALL OVER THE BATHROOM WE MADE THEM CLEAN IT UP. A NATURAL CONSEQUENCE I ALSO THINK THAT THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME OTHER CONSEQUENCE FOR THOSE ACTIONS IF THEY CONTINUE. lET HIM KNOW BEFORE THE NAP WHAT THOSE CONSEQUENCES ARE GOING TO BE SO HE IS FULLY AWARE WHEN HE MAKES HIS CHOICE. yOU CAN ALSO TRY TO PUT HIS DIAPER ON BACKWARDS... ITS HARDER FOR THEM TO TAKE OFF GOOD LUCK

Hi A.,
It looks like he wants your attention and he found a way to get it. So, don't overreact and make it a big deal, this is what he wants. You can tell something like: "Oh, I see that you did try to draw again with the poop on the wall. We use paint for drawing and we do it on a paper. Let's clean it together! And than we will take our nap.". Than let him help you clean it. If he doesn't like to wash his hands, make him wash them after cleaning at least twice. And what worked for my son with the naps... I stopped calling them naps, I started saying that is time for quite time and than let him chose what he wanted to do like looking at a book or play in his bed with a toy. Make sure he will know that whatever he does after that he will still have to take a nap and when choosing the quite activity he has to be in his bed. Good luck!

Does your little one know how to unsnap onsies? (They do make htem in larger sizes) I always put a onsie on underneath my sons t-shirts and he is not able to get them undone. Just a thought.
Good luck~!

My little girl is almost two and is also fingerpainting. The only thing that I found that works is putting a onsie on her when she is going to bed or down for a nap. I am not sure if your little one has discovered how to get them off yet, but it is a suggestion. Best of luck. ~A.

perhaps for attention