I've written in about this before, but I'm just having real problems with my almost 14 month old. I know, they grow up way too fast and I shouldn't worry about a lot of this, and most of the time he's a very happy baby, plays by himself well, loves people. But when it comes time to feed him it's almost like he's still 8 months old. He is capable of feeing himself, meaning using the pincer grasp, but as much as I've tried to teach him this he doesn't get the concept of actually feeding himself, and throws fits if his food requires too much chewing (I've never given him anything he couldn't handle). He also still refuses the sippy cup, and his ped. told me to throw away all bottles and go cold turkey. So, I did this (but I kept one bottle just in case) and for about three days he went without any liquids, I kept offering different sippy cups, and he kept pushing them away. By the third day it seemed like he was acting weak and sleeping much more than usual, and I was afraid he would get sick, so I went back to giving him the bottle. Now I feel awful for doing that to him, I realy want him to drink from the cup, but don't want him getting weak and sick in the process of weaning him. I'm just lost as to what to do, and wonder if I should just forget the sippy cup thing. He's a great baby, but like I said, when it comes to feeding/drinking, it's like he's still 7 or 8 months old. Thanks for any advice on this.
Hello S.,
Maybe you could try using a straw, my son learned very quickly after my SIL gave him a sip of her soda. At the time I didn't think it was funny but now years later we joke about it.
Good luck
My youngest was very picky about the type of cup that he would use when he switched over. The cup he would only use at first I think was a Nubby brand. It was clear rubber and felt more like a bottle and wasn't hard and plastic. I think we ended up with one of pretty much every sippy cup out there, before I got one he would use. Once he started with the one then the others became ok soon after. Good Luck!!
The first thing to remember is that your pediatrician does not live with your baby. He does one thing, he uses the typicals for a baby and tries to make sure that they are all doing the typicals. The fact is that you are his mother, you are the one with him everyday. You are the one who sees him develop and knows how he is personality wise, emotionally, and even in the ways that he eats.
A child who is capable of feeding themselves on all levels, emotionally, and physically will NOT go days with out liquids. They will give in and use the cup if only because they are hungry.
Babies are just that babies and they all mature at different rates. My oldest kept a bottle until he was 2 years old, the other 2 gave theirs up willingly at a younger age. Your baby boy will grow up and give up his bottle, when it is right. One day he will latch on to a cup and he will tip it up and drink out of it. You can not force this kind of thing, and any pediatrician that would suggest taking away a bottle before drinking from a cup was regular, should be reconsidered. We dont force them to run before they learn to walk. We dont take our hands away when they are learning to walk on the first day. We allow growth side by side with the familiar. We allow use of the bottle and the cup during a period of time.
When he has taken to feeding himself then you can take away the bottle. Until then you create a situation that is not good for any one.
My babies are all grown now and it seems as if society has decided that babies need to give up baby hood sooner and sooner. Dont ever forget that you are the mom and you know what is best. If he needs his bottle for a little longer let him have it. Who cares if a baby holds onto a bottle 6 months or even year longer than another baby, no one will care 6 years from now.
Be his mom, let him be your baby, do what is best for the both of you. Put aside the guilt that society lays on moms. Put aside the markers that everyone says he should be at. Just be his mom and enjoy him now while his is a baby.
Hi S., I'm sure that is a very difficult thing to go through. Have you tried different kinds of sippy cups? They have some that are almost like bottles in regards to the spout. The only one my daughter would even consider drinking from was a Nuby. I'm not sure what liquid you're putting in the sippy cup, but I had to start with water and juice first, it took a lot longer for her to get used to the idea of drinking milk out of a sippy cup. Good luck!
My recommendation is to either seek another pedicatrician for a second opinion or take him to an ENT...he sounds very much like my first born. My son was diagnosed AT THREE with fluid on the ears! And that was done by a Speech Therapist NOT a DOCTOR!!! The pediatricians ALL missed it (and we're talking 4 Dr's here). He only had 2 ear infections (1 major, 1 minor) and that was it. At 5 with our second round of tubes and a tonsilectomy and adnoidectomy under our belts we STILL don't chew foods that require a lot of work...PBJ, ham and cheese, mac & cheese and cheese pizza are our tops...he refuses all other kinds of meats. Textures also bother him.
Chances are if your kiddo is pushing away bottles and food then the sucking, chewing, swallowing is bothering him...so my guess is you have an ear problem. Doctors are great but they don't live with your kid 24/7 YOU DO! And NO ONE knows your kid better than you...if what they say doesn't jive with what you think then get another opinion...every insurance co. allows you another opinion...just make sure it's not from the same group his current Dr. is in.
Another thing he could be going through is teething. Have you checked his gums? My kids always became fussy and ate way less when they were cutting new teeth.
Do you go to play dates? Or does your child have regular exposure to other kids? I've found that when I've had these sorts of problems with my kids...often a little peer pressure remedied it really well. My kids weren't interested in walking or potty training until they were in daycare for a couple of weeks and it was amazing that 2 weeks there could do more than I could in 2 months! Best of luck to you!
You've recieved a lot of excellent advice here, but I wanted to expand on the sippy cup. It definitely depends on what sippy cup you use. Every baby is different and they are so picky about these darn cups! I have found with my baby (14 months) and some of my friends that the gerber nuk sippy cups are great! They still feel like the nipple of a bottle and provide an excellent transition. My daughter went right to this sippy cup and is now more willing to try other sippy cups, too. Hope this helps!
My advice is similar to others that have responded: every baby develops in their own time. I know doctors are trying to help & make sure we are aware of the typical baby guidelines, but sometimes they forget that they are only guidelines!!
My son is now 15 months and has been a "do it my way in my own time" baby since day one!!! He totally skipped baby food & despite my offering efforts from 6 months old, he didn't start eating a decent amount (still small, but decent) until about 11 months! He now eats very well-table food/finger food & now yogurt/applesauce/oatmeal. He is still a toddler in that he has days he doesn't eat well, but it's all about how he eats during a week...not in a day. I got nervous about it, too, but had support from La Leche League, lactation consultants & my pediatrician (thankfully!!) who said he is fine & just to OFFER a variety of foods daily until he decided he was ready. I know you don't breastfeed, but it was also nice to know he was still getting nutrition from my breastmilk during this time.
As for the cup, he was the same way. He actually didn't like any kind of cup until I bought a straw cup (Playtex makes one). I would say to explore a variety of cups to see if he likes any one more than the other and like with food, just OFFER several times a day. I would say continue the bottle so he gets fluids, but offer the cup daily. Maybe also making a big deal out of it & getting excited & happy when you drink from your cup. You could also get your own sippy cup & drink from it to encourage him to do what mommy does. I know my son likes to do what we do sometimes & he gets so excited!
Overall, while it is hard to remind yourself, baby-led approaches are what is best for your little guy...& you!! Any kind of convincing or forcing techniques seem to backfire in the long run.
This will be like another post. In many cases, this is just about the baby not being ready. I don't think that 13 mos old is too old for the bottle, since the WHO believes babies should be nursed until they are 2. They need the suckling. I would absolutely not push that to a point that it causes him problems, as you already know.
Now, as far as the foods, he could either not like certain textures, as in my 2nd child, and just be picky. Or, you may want to have them look at his esophagus. Does he desire the food, and then take it out of his mouth? If he tries to chew and spits it out, it may be that he has a sensitive gag reflex(2nd child for us) or he may be prone to choking because something is obstructing his esophagus (4th and 7th for us). We thought our 4th was just a picky eater, but now we are sure she had an obstruction that my 7th child has, and she just was eating normal by age 2. She would want the food, but not swallow it. My 7th does this, and we know he has the issue. Does he do fine with pureed foods? Does he hae enough teeth?
Babies don't do what is bad for them. If it is a picky eater thing, like he flat out refuses most stuff, I would just offer what everyone is having, and then give him the bottle after mealtime. That was our ped's instructions. I would think over your son's habits and go with your instinct on if he needs to see a specialist for this.
On the sippy cup situation you might try getting a bottle that has handles on it. This way he gets use to the idea of self feeding with the bottle and then it may not be a big shock when he is switched to the cup. I found some at Burlington coat factory that had the regular bottle nipple but then also had a sippy cup type nipple to help transition. You can also find the handles that snap on to the Avent bottles at Babies R us. I hope this helps with the cup situation.
I really don't have any advice as to how at this point to help him switch over but just a quick thought in case you have other children in the future: my sister and I both breastfed our babies and while breastfeeding we would offer water to them out of a sippy cup or regular cup with straw from the time they were probably about 6 months old so when it came time to wean them they already familiar with a cup and not just attached to one form of feeding. Maybe this would help with bottle feeding as well as breastfeeding.
Every baby develops at thier own pace. Are you involved with Parents as teachers? Sometimes it is good to get a non-medical opinion of how your child is developing and getting involved with PAT would do that. I am sure he has other strengths that you overlook because you are so focused on this problem. Just RELAX!!! ;-) If he is having no other development issues, just let him go at his own pace. My girls are 3, and 4. It is really evident that each child is an individual!! My 3 yo has mastered fine motor skills much quicker than her sister, but my 4 yo has known all her latters, the sounds they make ect since she was two. Evelyn is great with people, and very social, but Audrey is shy and does not like big groups or being the center of attention. They are so different!! Just let your little one be himself, and be your baby for a little while longer!!
S., I have a 15 month old who was the same way about the sippy cup. She is very stubborn and absolutely refused it. We tried for months - different types of sippy cups, different liquids in them, etc. She would not do it. Then my husband started filling up a straw with water and would put the straw in her mouth and "drop" the liquid into her mouth. She got used to having a straw in her mouth, and he would lower the angle of the straw over time, which made her have to start sucking the liquid out, and then about two weeks later she was completely trained on a straw. So we just purchased a few Playtex cups with built in straws that have a clickable closing top on them. They are perfectly portable and spill proof, and she loves drinking out of them! We went straight from a bottle to a straw and skipped the sippy cup altogether. Good luck - I know every baby is different. Just be patient!
Everyone has access to a walmart it seems these days so go to walmart and look in the baby aisle, Nubby makes a transition to cup set, it has a "collar" that is wider than a bottle but you can find the set that comes with a nipple, and then a soft tipped spout. Let your baby get used to this bottle/cup, then switch out the nipple to the soft spout. Patience and time and you should see results. All children have their own pace. Try not to stress too much, your being stresed just adds to the situation.
Also I would not worry about the food so much right now. Focus on one issue at a time. Some babys have texture issues. Worse case scenario? You may down the line have to get a specialist that works with your wee one on chewing and swallowing, or it May resolve itself. We Moms beat e=ourselves up way to much, don't sweat the small stuff. You will be ok and so will your baby = ) Good luck to you, if you don't feel like your pediatrician understands, ask to talk to another one.
((hugs))
B.
I taught my girls how to use a regular cup by giving them water to drink in the bathtub or outside in the summer time. Then, it didn't matter if they got water all over themselves and it was like a game.
I would have his ears checked I have dealt with ear infections with both of my kids. They both did what your little one is doing.When there ears were bother them. Also maybe try to only give the bottle to him at bedtime. Maybe slowly take it away. Instead of going cold turkey.Good Luck.
S., I have to second the Gerber Nuk sippy cup. My son won't drink out of anything else. If you've tried several different styles of cups, I agree that he will take the sippy when he is truly ready. Offer it to him from time to time so he gets used to the idea, while also still giving the bottle. Changing to a sippy is certainly not worth you're little guy getting sick. Every child is very different, what may work with one doesn't always work with the next. Just use your instincts, you know what's best for him.
Hey S.,
My brother was like that, he hated every single cup, only took his bottle, and he kept it until he was almost 4 years old. He was very logical about it, realizing he was way too old for it, and said he just liked it better, our pediatrician said he wouldn't take it to kindergarten, and not to worry about it. He would have to get rid of it when he was ready.
I don't understand a lot of people that trip off of stuff a binky of a bottle and the baby is more than a year, your child is just over a year give him some time to wean himself. It's so hard to balance, but your baby making himself sick over it is not worth it.
I would recommend if you guys go out to dinner (even if to McDonalds) take the sippy cup only, where he can only have the bottle at home. The busier you are the thirstier he'll get, but at least you'll know he'll get a daily amount of fluids.
Just my opinion, but kids make their own way, sometimes it takes a bit longer for one behavior set, and less time for others.
~L
Dear S.,
I feel that sometimes peds give us standards to go by but then forget to mention that those are just guidelines. All kids are different, and both of my girls are "normal" (the 18-month-old still drinks from a bottle from time to time and she also knows perfectly well how to feed herself and drink from a sippy cup as well as she's learning how to hold a real cup! - in other words, I never totally weaned her from one method). Be sure to check all of the valves on the different sippy cups... perhaps he's not able to get liquid out of one or two of them? You say your baby is cute and chubby, so he's definitely eating something and his body is getting nutrition - don't worry about the typical milestones... weaning will present itself when the time is right and he is comfortable with other methods first. As for honing his fine motor skills for eating, be sure to feed him in the manner to which he is accustomed first (so that he's not so hungry that he becomes frustrated with trying), and then offer him things like dry cheerios or chunks of cheese (or whatever) on his tray after he has a full belly. Maybe he just needs some practice time when he's not totally hungry. I hope any of this helps, and remember, doctors are there to remind us of our milestone goals, but they are not the ultimate authority - your intuition counts for more. Take care,
K.
Have you tried the sippy cups with soft opening. My grandson would not take a sippy cup unless it was soft kind of like a nipple. I also went cold turkey on all my kids. They will eventually drink something. I know it is hard but you need to stick with it.
Relax. Drs say they want the kids off the bottle by one year, but really they expect it by 18mos. My son didn't get completely off the bottle until he was about 15 or 16 mos. Give it time. Just keep offering the sippy cups. It does get better. I promise.
Good Morning S., I would Skip the sippys for now and let him do it on his own for a while longer. He just doesn't sound like he is ready as yet. He will one day and it will be easy then. Our eldest son kept his bottle until he was 19 mo/old. then just threw it away on his own.
Have you sat him in his high chair and given him the little toddler bites? Dried fruits etc.? Cheerios? Let him play with them and pick them up with his fingers. We play a game with our one yr old gr son. He gives Nana a Puffs or Cheerio and I give him one.
He will be ok just not completely ready for change.
God Bless you and your Little Prince.
K. Nana of 5
Have you tried the sippy cups with soft tops, Walmart has these and my grandkids started using these at a very young age when they wouldn't use any other type cup.
