Need Help Stimulating 2 1/2 Yr Old Boy

I really like Julia N.'s answer but I'm going to add something. I would set limits and rules with consequences about the destruction. For example, he's only permitted to knock down things he builds. *If he knocks down something they've built, redirect him to another activity and tell him he's done with the blocks, or why doesn't he kick a ball instead? (Much like Julia N. also said.)*

Boys and girls develop different skills at different rates. Girls usually develop small motor skills (coloring, playdough, etc) earlier and boys tend to focus on large motor skills first (running, climbing, etc). So, even though he is about the same age as your younger daughter, his development will be very different.

Let him be content with poking holes in the playdough or scraping the colors off the crayons (maybe get him his own big chunky set so he's not ruining the girls' crayons). Let him paint his "mess" - with aprons and lots of newspaper to contain it! - and just remember it's more about the process than the product. His expiramentation is helping him understand the world around him.
Also get some active toys - a soft ball he can throw, and maybe a nerf soccer ball or something for kicking. He can kick it up and down the hall, or you can all bundle up and go outside. Kid slides and other play sets are good for small motor skills too. One year, we bought a pop-up play house (made of cloth and the wires that fold down small and easy) and it gave our kids hours of entertainment - crawling through the tunnels, poking up out of the top, etc.
Also consider outings to a nearby park or other places. Even a walk around the block (in the stroller for the little ones, if you can) is a change of scene, stimulates their brains, and is good exercise. Your girls may be less interested in the large motor skills right now, but they need chances to work on those as well as the litle boy does.

Do set limits. Balls are for throwing, but not other toys. We don't kick the ball in the kitchen. Intercept and prevent behaviors as much as possible, and redirect to something more appropriate.

Does his destruction throw off your autistic daughter? If it doesn't freak her out, I'd either have mom bring him a Lego tub or go get one for him. He can build them up & crash 'em down (wooden blocks crash even better but cost more), but he's only allowed to crash his own creations. Boys are destructive, loud, in-your-face creatures... we have 4 of them & it hasn't changed (just different toys) much between the 14 year old & the 6 year old. They used to sell play sets that had gears, "screws" etc to put together & make a train or airplane & then you can pull it all apart. He needs more active toys, at least that's my guess. Boys like to move & do & figure out how it goes... Teach him to make his creations as big as he wants & then knock it down if he wants to-but you've got to remind him that he can only crash his stuff. Of course this all depends on whether or not the build-crash cycle would upset your autistic one.
Good luck!

Haha! We have two little boys at home and I will tell you that planned out art projects very rarely go how I have planned them. Really anything that involves sitting still seems to be hard for many boys that age. Have you thought of getting a little mini-trampoline, or a little see-saw? Does he have to be doing the same thing the girls are doing? We keep an old extra mattress in our toy room that can be flipped down when the boys need to jump around, wrestle, etc. Really, the only time I have been able to keep them interested in arts and crafts projects has been when they were able to paint these little toy dinosaurs, and more and more they will sit still to work with small manipulatives like tiny leggos with a million little parts...
Good Luck!

My DS has never liked to color, paint, play with play doh or other 'quiet' activities. He will cook with me, cutting, stirring, assembling, etc. He will build train sets and will do anything outside: run, jump, kick balls, play hockey, play on the play ground, sled you get the idea.

So although on the surface painting and things would appear to be unisex; often boys aren't developmentally ready for fine motor skill activities when they're that age. Try more gross motor activities. Soccer, running, jumping, building towers of outrageous proportions, that sort of thing. GL!

this is a great question! my boys spent a great deal of time during the ages of 2 and 3 being punished for jumping off the furniture. can you have lively music playing while you are doing these activities? then he can move around as he wants/needs while you are doing what your girls are in to. music with words that guide his movements, like jumping, acting like an animal, marching, etc. you could try dress ups, action figures, "cooking" with cheerios and several sizes of cups and bowls on the floor. good luck!

I am not an expert. (I have one girl and a boy on the way:) But I am the oldest of eight kids (five boys), my husband comes from a family of six boys and I have spent a lot of time around kids. From what I know and have observed about little boys, this guy sounds soo normal. Most boys would rather destroy something than create something. I totally agree that he might like more physical activities. Maybe he could pretend he was some kind of animal and the girls could have fun decorating a box to be his cave or den or something and he might have fun crawling around and growling. Just make sure you stress that he has to be a nice lion, cougar, dog, whatever. Have him go bowling with a ball and some toys that can be knocked over. You could also try children's yoga. He may or may not be able to do it but he might have fun trying, and I'll bet your girls would love trying it.
Maybe he would like trying to throw balls (or wadded up paper or aluminum) in a waste basket or other basket. He could do this to music. You could play hide and seek, or musical chairs. Sports are good. You could keep trying with the arts and craft, but i just wouldn't expect him to want to create a masterpiece at this stage. My husband remembers that he always hated coloring, even in kindergarten, he said he wouldn't color. he would just fold up the paper and stick it in his pocket:). Good luck. Boys are definitely a different ball game than girls.

I found just the opposite and realized quickly that it is a gender thing. I babysat my friends little girls and I have 4 boys so it was a bit of a shock to see first hand just how differently they do play, but I just adjusted and let them play. Boys are tumbly and a bit destructive and girls are more gentle as a rule. I found that the girls could sit and play one activity for quite a while and the boys would be from one to the next in 15-20 min intervals sometimes less, leaving a wake of destruction behind them if I didn't keep on top of them to clean behind themselves. It's still like that. The girls could play barbies all day long and the boys would NEVER go for one activity for longer than 1 hour. It sounds like he wants other things to do and it sounds like normal boy stuff to me. If on the other hand he is just doing these things to irritate the girls then you need to put a stop to it and maybe he needs a separate activity to do. I agree with legos, blocks, horses on a stick, dress up clothes, make believe stuff... my kids loved all that stuff and it gives them (boys) lots of choices to jump between because they do.

Good luck.

Hi K.,
I have to laugh reading your post. I have three boys, so I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. It's hard for us women to really relate to the thought patterns of boys...I have had years of experience and am still often at a loss! But boys are definately different. I guess I have a couple of ideas that might help. Maybe let him play with the dinosaurs in the playdough? And you know, just poking holes in balls of playdough isn't that bad - or just squeezing it in his fists. Not as creative as us girls might like, but a great exercise for his little fingers. Take it from me, boys do tend to have less developed fine motor skills, so the more stuff like that he can do the better. Crayons and coloring are tough. I do have one boy who likes to color, but he developed that love recently and he is now five. I think it might be because of the poor fine motor skills and the fact that they have to push harder with crayons, but they all liked markers better. Boys are generally more comfortable with the large motor activites...running, jumping, kicking, etc. I like to have "dance parties" with my boys or any sort of game that includes large motor skills. I have lots of very soft balls around to thow and let them know those are the things they can throw and I make sure they have something specific to throw at. Maybe if he had his own group of blocks to build with and let him know he can knock his own stack over after he builds but not the girls.

Good luck. I'm am artist and crafter myself and was looking forward to sitting with my kids and creating things for hours. I did end up with ONE like that - but it took him five years to get there! What you're seeing from this little guy sounds very normal for a boy and I guess it's a matter of changing your mindset too. I've read so many books about understanding boys...and I really still haven't gotten them figured out! But I do try to keep in mind they are from Mars!!

K.

Did you have brothers? I realize the activities are neutral gender. And the same things my brothers and I did, however, we ALWAYS played with the toys differently. I remember when I played GI Joes with the boys I handled the fighters less aggressive then my brothers. I think that his actions are normal and you have to remember you're used to the way girls react.

I remember bicycle riding, if they are ready, my brothers and I always enjoyed, plus tired us out a lot. When the weather is nice you could take all the kids to a park. This would allow him to find some other boys to play with too. I am sure at his age, playing with 'the girls' gets old. I had two brothers and was the only girl. And I always played the boys games, ie cops & robbers, but when I wanted to play barbies...forget it, no one could be found. Are you guys into sports at all. You could get them a small soft ball to throw around. How about water guns, again when the weather is nice. When it snows, sledding or snow ball fights or have each of them make their own snowman!

Last thought, do scavenger hunts to find certain plants, leafs, toys, etc in the yard! Or do a small hike once a week w it the kids?

Hope these suggestions help.
C.