Need Help Planning a Birthday Party for My Children.

Updated on April 07, 2009
L.R. asks from Broomfield, CO
15 answers

I have a soon to be six year old son and a soon to be three year old daughter. Their birthdays are a little less than a month apart and I thought I might just have one big birthday party instead of two little ones. I'm not quite sure how to do this successfully and was wondering if any of you have done this. I don't want to presume people will bring them gifts, but of course they do, and I definitely don't want everyone to have to bring two gifts, as some of the children will be just friends of my daughters and other children will be just friends with my son. Is it tacky to ask people to just bring one gift for a designated child? If you have any ideas I would appreciate it! Thanks!

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V.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have the exact same situation. My son and daughter are two weeks apart! What I do every year is I have a small party with two small cakes. Then invite friends or family and my son can invite one or two friends and my daughter can invite the same. Whoever comes for each one bring a gift for that child. When family comes, they bring something small for each. Gift certificates work great as well!!

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I would think that if the invitations were separate, say have one set of invitations to your son's party, and one set of invitations to your daughter's party, then no one would even think to bring two gifts. They'd just be two parties that happen to be at the same time, at the same place.

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We had my son's birthday at jungle jim he had friends of his age as well as some older kids..all enjoyed a lot and you can add on all parents just for extra 10$ .
the best thing abt them is they allow outside food so you have options
as far as gifts go you may want to consider making specific invitation cards
like invite the older child's friend with his/her name that way they will feel special also

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J.H.

answers from Provo on

I sent two different invites for my girls' birthday party. The invite just said the girl's name who they were invited for even though it was combined. Or you could always just ask them to not send any gifts. I think it's okay to combine birthday's occasionally, especially when they're young. My girl's loved it but when they get older I'll for sure have to separate them.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

I don't think it's a good idea to put 2 birthdays together. Your son is old enough to know that it's HIS day and not his sister's. When it's her birthday, she may not know THIS year what's going on, but if you try it again, I guarantee she will! When I was growing up, whatever I got for my birthday, my sister got, too. My day was never special, and I resented it until I finally got the nerve when I was 11 to speak up.
Let each child be special on their own day. You don't have to have a gigantic party for either one, but don't lump them both together. A 3-year old doesn't need much to be a princess, and a six-year old knows what's up.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Most of my birthday parties have been combined with someone else (for the past 12 years, my SIL, as our b-days are a week apart). It would be nice to have my own party, that I don't have to plan!
I would suggest doing separate parties, especially if you're inviting friends. First, you want each child to feel like it's their special day. Second, activties that work for 3 year olds and activities that work for 6 year olds don't generally overlap, so if you're going to have games you'll want 2 sets anyway. And a 6 year old boy is going to want a theme like dinosaurs or transformers while a 3 year old girl will likely want Barbie or princesses. You could end up trying to run 2separate parties at once. Also, you don't want to many kids (a good rule of thumb is about as many kids as years in age, but a few more might be ok) or you're going to be overwhelmed. Just keep things fairly simple and inexpensive for both parties. (I spent $35 for my 8 year old's party, getting transformers masks, plates, cups, napkins, party favors and a pinata. Skip the pinata and you can do it for around $20. Make the cake, or better yet do cupcakes, and get inexpensive creamsicles instead of icecream. Less mess and cheaper)

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K.M.

answers from Billings on

Send invitations from just the child closest in age to that guest, and hopefully guests will get the idea that they are the special guest of one child and don't need to get two gifts.

The community where we've recently moved, presents are often not opened during the party, and it really helps reduce stress and the focus on gifts!!

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

My older 2 children's birthdays are exactly 2 weeks apart. The weekend in between their birthdays we have a BBQ and invite family and friends. The kids play games and the adults sit back and relax. As the kids got older, they wanted separate birthdayparties, which is okay with me. We still do the BBQ, but each child will do a separate party with 4 friends.

I used to share a birthday party with my cousin, and it just never felt like "my" day. So until they are older I would suggest the BBQ. As far as gifts are concerned, You can just say on the invitations, "gifts not required". If your guests want to, they will bring one.

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C.T.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Maybe when you send the invitations, you should have two different types. Invitations for your son's party to go to your son's friends and invitations for your daughter's party to go to your daughter's friends.

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A.T.

answers from Provo on

Hi! Tough issue. If you're bent on having a combined party this year, I agree with everyone--separate invitations for each child's friends and a gender neutral theme (like a Luau or beach theme or circus. Try ordering online from Oriental Trading. They have great party stuff). When it comes time to open presents, maybe pull aside one child and their friends while the other child and his friends are playing a special game. Then switch. That way each child gets a chance to get the attention and focus. And do cupcakes with candles, not one cake for both kids. But in the future, I'd suggest doing separate parties. And if you can't afford (money or stress-wise) to do two right in a row, then do what lots of my friends do--alternate each year. This year he gets a friend party and she gets a family dinner out. Next year, he gets the family dinner out and she gets the friend party.

As for the presents, I think if you send separate invitations that just say one child's name on them, you won't have to worry about people feeling obligated to buy two. Unless they are relatives, in which case you can put both kids' names on, because they would probably buy them both a gift anyway, right?

Good luck!

R.P.

answers from Denver on

I L., I understand your problem. Althougth, our son died before we could do anything like that, his and our daughters bday would have been a week apart. So we would have been doing their parties together. I think about it a lot though, even if he was here. One suggestion I would have in mind is doing something like at Boondocks, Amazing Jakes, Chucky Chesses or even Money Business. Look for the specials on bday parties that way you can save on a DOUBLE UP and check their websites for coupons and save. I would suggest you talk to a host and let them know your situation, they tend to help out knowing what you really want. As far as the gifts...don't be too shabby about who will get what because you have to understand the economy is really getting to a lot of people and with little kids any gift is ok with them. If at all possible tell parents a gift is optional yet if they to intend on getting gift there is no limit on the price (Family Dollar stores have some nice things that are least expensive). Explain your situation to the parents if they bring a gift for both...that is their choice. Parents will understand.

Hope this helps!

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B.W.

answers from Denver on

My two daughters (ages 6 and 3) have their birthdays 2 days apart. We've had a double party for them (we'll think it through more as they get older- we don't want them to not feel special, but it's fun when they are younger). With them, it was easier because they are both girls, so they generally have princess themes. This year, my oldest started school, so she got to invite friends from school; what we did was put just her name on those invitations and both of their names on mutual friends/family. It seemed to work really well- the oldest opened her friend's presents while her school friends (we had a BBQ later and some people stayed for that) were there and the three year old opened hers later, except if she had a friend that wasn't staying later. I had one friend who got a present for both of them to share, which was great.

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E.C.

answers from Denver on

We went through this last year. We combined my 2 daughters parties - one turned 7 and one turned 3. We did a carnival themed party outdoors and made it more about the games for the kids and all - played up the carnival aspect. We did not address the gift issue at all and it worked out fine. Some people brought gifts for both, some for just one and some brought none. We made it more about everyone having fun and did not play up the gift part like so many birthday parties. All the kids had a great time and the kids got some gifts and it was not an issue.

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C.H.

answers from Boise on

I got a great idea from another Mom of doing a dollar store party. That way you can say it is a dollar store party (or a dollar party) and to just bring one gift for the child they are joining. Maybe you could do two different invitations. I love the dollar party and it is spreading among his friends and it is great. Good luck I think it will be crazy but great. The kids will have a blast!

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

I have been to plenty of parties like this. Send out 2 different invites. That way if I were to get your sons, I would assume that my son is invited to your son's birthday party and that I should get a boy gift. If my daughter is invited to your daughter's birthday party , I assume I get a girl gift. If both of my children get 2 invitations I will get 2 gifts. Then have 2 themes to the party and you can kind of keep them seperate.

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