Need Help in Sticky Situation

Updated on April 22, 2008
K.W. asks from Fort Mill, SC
10 answers

Ok ladies... here is the situation... I work full time just to be out of the house. I am not a "stay-at-home" type of person. My pay checks are for insurance, daycare, and extras so when my little one is sick, I have no problems with staying home with her. My boss however does have an issue with it. He keeps telling me to come up with a back-up plan for when she is sick. I have missed only 12 days in a years time for a 1 yr old (in my opinion thats pretty good). But what can I do for a back-up plan? We are located in York County, SC. Her father does stay home with her time-to-time, however I feel that his job is more important to the family than mine. He works for a really well-known company and travels often. If he has a meeting, I am not going to tell him to reschedule just because the baby is sick. Does anyone have any advice or solutions?

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So What Happened?

First of all.... thank you for all of the advice. I did explain to my boss when I was hired that my child comes first no matter what. At that time there was no problem. Well with all the advice, I have enlisted the help of some neighbors who are going to help out when needed. :)

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K.A.

answers from Nashville on

Maybe you could let us know what city you are from. I live in Nashville and am a Grandma of three. I personally would be willing to babysit a sick kid, once in a while. So by letting others know where you are, maybe someone there would do the same.

K. A.

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J.P.

answers from Nashville on

My job told us the same thing and I am a Pediatric Nurse so they should understand. I missed 4 times in a year, 3 of them my child was sick and I brought him in to see the Dr. Where I work and the other one I was sick and that affected my raise. I believe that is crazy. My thing is, If my child is sick I am going to be with him. I actually do have a back up ( my mom), but I am very lucky for that and not always can she keep him. i don't like to put my child off on someone when he is sick, I am his mother and should be there for him. Good Luck Jennifer

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E.C.

answers from Memphis on

I want to be the one who takes care of my daughter when she is sick. I think that kids need their moms when they feel bad. Too many people give their kids some tylenol/ motrin and send them off to school sick because they have no choice and they might otherwise lose their job.

My husband and I make sacrifices so that I can work part-time from home (while my daughter is at pre-school) and always be available to care for her when she is sick. It is not always easy, but it works best for us.

I do understand the need of an employer to have their employee present, but I have one daughter and she will only be young once.

I also understand that sometimes the best/only way to take care of your child is to make sure that you have a sustainable form of income. It sounds like you may have some options, since your income is not absolutely essential to your family.

I wonder what your boss would do if you brought your sick kid to work with you...

I hope everything works out.

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I.N.

answers from Raleigh on

Find a job that lets you telecommute. I know there are a few around here. Check out fortune magazine's list of best companies to worh for.

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D.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Im sort of 50/50 with the posters. I do know that when my children are sick, I am going to stay home with them. I don't have family or relatives that live here to watch them, but I know going into a job that my first priority is my children.

On the other hand, your boss has a priority too, his business. and you can't blame him for that. I know in my job that the possibility of a bad review or whatever is there if I miss too many days. But again, my loyalty lies with my children first.

My suggestion is like the posters that said, discuss working from home or flexible hours to make up the time. If you two can't compromise, then you may have to seek work elsewhere.

Good luck.

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K.V.

answers from Nashville on

I had that problem when I was working and caring for my son that is now 9. It was hard because I was in the same situation. I guess it just comes to priorities. If your job is not important then I wouldn't worry about it too much. It seems that the dad could take more time off to help out though. If you missed 12 days, how many did he miss? Doesn't he have sick days? Even though his job is more important to you it sounds like your job is important
too. It also seems that he won't get fired for taking a few extra days off. Also what has he done to secure back-up? Does he have family or corporate connections for a nanny service etc?
I have a friend that has a really cool benefit from her work in Nashville. If her son is sick they have a back-up service that they pay for. I think it is up to 12 days a year. Even though your work doesn't provide it, there are services out there that do those things. If I can get the name of it, I will post again.

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S.J.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi K.,

You say that your job is not important to you. It sounds like your boss considers your job to be important. He needs someone dependable in that position. You don't want to have to be there when your child is sick (which I totally understand), but maybe it isn't the right job for you. You need something more flexible and he needs someone more consistant. Sick child care is hard to find, but like one of the other posters suggested you might be able to find a job where you telecommute or something else with a lot of flexibility.

(My husband manages 14 people and has fired people for missing less work than you're talking about.)

Good luck!!

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Maybe ask your boss if you can telecommute when you have to stay home when the baby is sick? If not, you might want to do what another person suggested- find someone to come to your house and watch the baby- like a nanny service. Ultimately, I think I would start putting my feelers out there for a more family-friendly work environment. Being a full-time working mom myself, if I didn't have the support of my boss and coworkers, I would be out of there!

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R.S.

answers from Huntington on

No matter which parent stays home with a sick child, this can be a problem for the people you work for. I think 12 days over a year is kinda a lot to miss, and your boss has a right to expect his employees to show up just like your husband's boss does. From your point of view, it's just a job to give you something to do and pay for extra stuff, so it's not all that important compared with your daughter. But looking at it from your boss's point of view, he didn't hire a mom, he hired an employee to come to work and do what he needs done, and when you aren't there, he has to quit whatever he's doing and make other arrangements. Since you are the one who needs the help, not him, you should be the one making other arrangements. So you either need a job with flex time or part time working from home, or you need backup child care.

As a mom, I say my child comes first, but as an employer, the company comes first. You can't quit being a mom, but your employer can quit employing you. So whether you think he's right or not, you've got to find a back up plan, and having her dad stay home isn't a good one, either. What if he's really sick and needs his sick time, or what if you are? You need sick child daycare.

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

there is a company here in lexington that hires out nannies on an as needed basis. you can call them in the morning and they can have someone there in an hour. i dont know about your area. the one here, staffs mostly retired woman, so its like having a grandma watch your child. do a little research, and see if there is one in your area.

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